All the Birds of Akatsuki
by Jinso Kitsune-kun
Summary: What happens when the Akatsuki is transported into our world, and they're BIRDS! Freakin' hilarity. Rated T for Hidan. I do not own Naruto. Crack fic. Gary-sueish. Now rated M for the mentions of sexual content in chapter 56! Also, add-on to end note of Chapter 57! IMPORTANT!
1. Why Are There Birds?

**Hey guys! Before I start my werewolf fic (mentioned in the Legacy of the Werepyre Chapter 2) I would like to get out an Akatsuki fic with bucketloads of humor! Here you go, it's All the Birds of Akatsuki!**

**Aaron's POV**

I walked out of my apartment. It had been a boring Saturday with nothing on TV. I am twenty-two years old and had just gotten out of college. I decided to take a little ride in my convertible. I walked straight over to it, and noticed an oddly-colored bird. It was silver, and had purple markings on its wings. It was hopping around like it was mad, seeming to be cursing at the sky. Suddenly, it started to rain hard. The bird cowered in fear as thunder sounded. I wasn't going to be able to go for a ride in my car, so I decided to take the bird inside. When I picked it up, it squirmed, and tried to peck me. I ignored the pain, and carried it inside my apartment where it was dry. The bird shook all the rain off its feathers. I had always wanted a bird as a pet, but my parents were allergic. I had bought a bird cage for the day I got a pet bird. I led him to it, and he hopped inside. He checked out the cage, looking at everything in it. Suddenly, he turned around, and looked at me madly.

"What? Why are you mad? I just saved you from dying." I asked it. It seemed to think for a moment, and then chirped happily. I took it out of its cage, and set it on my shoulder. I just walked over to my couch, and plopped down. I turned on the TV, and the bird watched intently. I flicked through channels, looking for a good show to watch. I came upon the episode of Naruto where Hidan killed Asuma. The bird was transfixed on Hidan. It cheeped excitedly.

"Oh, you like Hidan? Yeah, he's a pretty good character. He's my second favorite. He would be my favorite if it weren't for his cussing. I just don't like it that much. But it's funny at certain moments." I said to it. It seemed to take what I said in consideration. It shook its head in a so-so fashion. The rain cleared up about thirty minutes later, when the show ended. There was knock at the door. I left the little bird on the couch, and went to go get the door. I opened it to find my two best friends, Rich and May, standing there, each holding a little bird in their hands. Rich had a blue bird with markings like a rose on its head. May had a little orange bird with black dots and lines on it.

"Hey, you guys each found a little bird too?" I asked. My bird seemed to hear me, and peeked its head around the couch. Rich and May's two cheeped, and my bird cheeped back. The two other birds flew over to mine, and began chirping.

"Yeah, we both found birds. These two were together, and they were talking to each other, it seems. We picked them up, and carried them inside when it started to rain. We thought they might want some more company, so we came over here." Rich said. I nodded.

"Looks like they're getting along well." I said. We all looked over at the couch to see the birds talking. We couldn't really tell what they were saying.

"**So, you guys got found by some fucks too, huh**?" Hidan asked. Pein and Konan nodded.

"**Yes we did. They seem pretty nice, though.**" Konan replied.

"**Yeah, the guy who found me is pretty nice. He already gave me a place to sleep.**" Hidan told them. They nodded again.

"**Let's try to find out where we are, and see if they can help us.**" Pein said. They all flew back to us. My bird landed on my shoulder.

"Hey little guy. You got some new friends?" I asked him. He seemed to nod. Then he cheeped. I pet his head, and he cheeped some more.

"You hungry?" I asked. He seemed to nod again. I tickled his little chin, and he cheeped again.

"Let's go get you some food." I walked over to the kitchen, and got out some sunflower seeds. I poured them into a small cup, and placed it in front of my bird. He looked at it inquisitively, and then looked at me.

"It's okay. These are sunflower seeds. They taste really good." I told him. He stared at them for a moment before trying one. He cheeped happily, and began devouring them. The other two birds looked at him inquisitively, and cheeped. He cheeped back somewhat angrily. The other two looked at me sadly.

"You guys want some too?" I asked. They seemed to nod. I got out two more little cups, and poured sunflower seeds into them. I placed the cups in front of them. They both tried one, and cheeped happily. They ate fast, but were quiet, unlike my bird. When they were all done, my bird cheeped at me.

"You want more?" I asked. He nodded. I got out some more sunflower seeds, put them in another little cup, and gave them to him. He ate ravenously again, and was finished within a minute. As I was waiting for him, I noticed a little orange and black bird with swirls and a black dot around an eye outside on the ground. It was hopping like a five year old.

"I'll be right back." I said. My bird cheeped angrily at me, nudging the cup.

"I'll get you some more when I get back." I told him. He stopped nudging the cup. I walked outside, and to the side of my house. I found the little bird there, still hopping.

"Hey little guy." I said to it. It turned around, and went up to me. It kept chirping with a high-pitched voice.

"You wanna come inside?" I asked. The bird flew up onto my shoulder. It chirped happily, and I walked inside.

"Hey guys, I found another bird." I said. They peeked their heads around to see.

"Aw! It's so cute!" May said. She grabbed the little bird off of my shoulder, and began cuddling it. It tweeted happily. My bird tweeted angrily, and the orange and black dotted bird smacked him upside the head.

"Hey, no fighting." I said. Rich thought for a second.

"Maybe there's more of these little guys." He said.

"Yeah, there could be." I replied. We both decided to go outside, and look for more. The first bird we found was white, with lines like it had bandages trying to pick up a five dollar bill. We brought it back, and went looking again. We found a blond-colored one with feathers over its left eye fighting with a red and tan one in a bush. We took them back, and went looking some more. We then found a blue one with gill-like markings walking around with a black one with red eyes. We took them back. The last one we found was a white and black one with a little green double crest looking at some roses in my garden. We took him back, and looked at the birds. They were all listening to the orange one with black spots.

"I think we should name them." I suggested.

"OK." May and Rich both said. I went to my bird.

"You remind me of Hidan, so that's what I'll name you." I said. My bird cheeped happily. I went over to the blue bird with a rose-like marking.

"I'll call you Konan. You remind me a lot of her, and you're pretty." I said. She tweeted, and seemed to blush. I went over to the orange bird with black dots and lines.

"I'll call you Pein. You remind me of him, and you seem to be these guys' leader." He nodded. I went over to the white and black bird.

"Your name is Zetsu. You've got a green crest like his flytrap, and you're half black and half white. No racist jokes intended." I told it. It cheeped with a deep voice. I walked over to the bird that was black with red eyes.

"Your name will be Itachi. You have red eyes like the Sharingan, and you're black, like his hair." It just stared at me with no emotion. May walked over holding the one that was blue with gill-like markings and the one that was orange with swirls and a dot around its right eye. She held out the blue one.

"This little guy's Kisame!" She said. The bird had a look on his face like, "Oh Yeah! I got the hot chick!" Then she held out the orange one.

"This one is Tobi!" She announced. The bird tweeted, and I could've sworn I heard it say,

"Tobi is a good boy!" I shook it off. Rich came over holding the one that looked like it was mummified, the one that was blond and had feathers over one eye, and the red and tan one. He held out the mummified one.

"This one's Kakuzu." He held out the red and tan bird.

"This one's Sasori, and the other is Deidara." He said. I rubbed my hands together.

"Well, now that we've named them, let's get them some food." I said. All the birds chirped unanimously. I got out a bunch of little cups, and put sunflower seeds in them. I put a cup in front of each little bird. All the birds that hadn't eaten some before tried one, and all but Zetsu ate ravenously, except for Sasori and Itachi. Zetsu coughed out a sunflower seed and looked at me angrily.

"Oh, you don't like sunflower seeds?" I asked. His eyes widened when I said the words "sunflower" and "seeds". He hopped over beside me. I walked to the fridge and opened it. I had veggies, fruit, meat, bread, and much more food.

"Would you like some carrots? Or bread?" I asked. He shook his head no at both. He saw some chicken, and walked over to it. He chirped a lot, and I got the idea he wanted meat. So I pulled out the chicken. He chirped happily.

"You want meat?" I asked incredulously. He nodded. I put some chicken on a plate, and placed it in front of him. He began to devour it easily. I leaned over near Rich and May.

"He's a cannibal." I whispered. They both nodded. When everyone had finished eating three cups of sunflower seeds, and Zetsu had devoured two whole chickens, we all went into the living room. My friends and I plopped on the couch, while the birds sat on the floor. We turned on Finding Nemo for the birds. About five minutes in, all the birds' stomachs grumbled, and they glowed.

"What the heck?" I cried out. All the birds morphed into the shape of the Akatsuki members that they were named after. I cried out, and fell on the floor, my face tasting the dust. I was right next to Tobi.

"Tobi wants to know if you are okay!" He said. I jumped up, and backed away.

"Is the Akatsuki in my living room, or am I going insane?" I asked. Pein got up.

"We're real." He said. I started freaking out.

"Oh my GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" Rich and May started freaking out right beside me.

"Calm down. We're not going to kill you." Pein said. I stop jumping in mid-air.

"You're not?" I asked. He nodded.

"In fact, we thank you for giving us some food and shelter." Pein said. I smiled.

"Always gotta help someone in need." I said. He smiled. I, for some reason, was stuck in the air.

"Uh, can someone get me down?" I asked. Tobi walked over, and pulled me down.

"Thank you Tobi." I said. Tobi eye-smiled.

"Tobi is a good boy!" He said. Everyone sweat-dropped.

"So what are you guys doing here?" I asked.

"We don't really know. We were out searching for one of the jinchuriki when an old man stopped us. He asked if we wanted entertainment, and _Tobi_ just _had_ to say yes." Hidan answered while glaring at Tobi.

"But Tobi liked the old man's funny dancing!" He replied. A tick mark appeared on Hidan's head. His head grew very large.

"IT WASN'T DANCING, IT WAS A FUCKING RITUAL, YOU SHITHEAD! I SHOULD KNOW! I DO THEM ALL THE TIME!" He yelled. I got him to calm down.

"Anyways, everything was spinning like hell, and we found ourselves where you found us. I looked down and saw that I had FUCKING WINGS! WHAT THE HELL?" Hidan continued. I nodded throughout his whole explanation.

"So where are we?" Pein asked.

"San Francisco, California, in the USA, on Planet Earth, in the Milky Way Galaxy." I said. They all looked confused.

"What's ?" Pein asked. I sighed.

"We are in the city of San Francisco, in the state of California, on the planet Earth, in the Milky Way Galaxy." I said slowly. They still looked confused.

"You guys haven't heard of the USA, San Francisco, California, _Earth_, _or_ the Milky Way Galaxy? Oh wait, that would make sense since you're imaginary cartoon characters."

"But we're fucking real." Hidan said.

"Well, if something is made in reality, then it technically is real. I mean, imaginary characters like you guys have affected people's lives more than anyone else, so in a way, you're more real than us." Most of them just cocked their heads with a confused look.

"That statement is from South Park."

"What's South Park?" Kisame asked.

"It's a TV show for adults, and the only thing I will tell you is that _Hidan_ _especially_ would like it. It has a lot of cursing. In fact, they set the record for most times using a curse word with using "shit" 162 times uncensored with the episode "It Hits The Fan"." I replied. They all thought for a moment. Hidan especially would like it? Scary…

"Do you guys need anywhere to stay?" I asked.

"We can probably stay at a tavern." Pein said.

"We don't have taverns. You're in the modern world, where there's hotels, cars, fast food restaurants, and TV. We don't use Ryu here, we use dollars. In fact, if you added it up, the amount of Ryu you guys have would probably be enough to stay at a 3 or 4-star hotel. But we don't use Ryu, so that's out." I told them. They were all confused. Suddenly, my mail slot opened, and a few letters popped in. All the Akatsuki got in a fighting stance, but I said,

"Relax. It's the mail. The postman just drops it through that slot, and I get it." They all relaxed, and I walked over to the fallen mail. I picked it up and shifted through it.

"Junk mail, junk mail, bill, death threat, bill, junk mail, junk mail…" I announced as I shifted through it. I came upon a letter that had "For Aaron" on it. I opened the letter and read it out loud.

"Dear Aaron,

If you are reading this, then I have passed away. I'm sorry to leave you without warning, but life doesn't give much of that. I have left you my estate and fortune in my will, as you were always my favorite grandson. I wish you luck, and hope you may find happiness though I am gone.

Dearest Regards,

Grandma Joan" Tears filled my eyes as I finished reading.

"She's gone…" I said. Rich came up and patted me on the back.

"You alright?" He asked. I nodded sadly.

"Yeah. I just can't believe she's gone. Hope she's having a fun time rocking to 50's music in heaven." I replied. I cleared up my tears, and turned to the Akatsuki.

"I think I have a place for you guys to stay in. My grandma left me her estate and money." I said to them. Kakuzu's eyes lit up.

"Money?" He asked. I made an angry face.

"YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY, YOU DOUCHE! MY GRANDMA LEFT THIS FOR ME BECAUSE OF THE FUN TIMES WE HAD SITTING ON HER PORCH, WATCHING NATURE! YOU WILL NOT GET RID OF THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE A CHREMATOPHILE!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face. Kakuzu backed off instantly. Pein smacked him upside the head when I calmed down.

"You guys can come and stay there if you want. It has thirteen bedrooms. Each of you can stay in one, and me and my friends can stay in one as well." I said to the Akatsuki.

"We'll accept your offer." Pein said while smiling. I smiled back.

"Good. May, Rich, go call a moving company. We're all moving into my grandmother's estate." I said. May and Rich nodded, and went to the phone. After twenty minutes, the moving vehicles arrived. I hopped in the passenger seat in the one in the front. I guided the driver all the way to my new house.

"You're gonna live here?" He asked.

"I do now." I said. We got to my grandmother's estate. Rich, May and I got out of the moving trucks, and the movers brought our stuff in. I chose the first room on the third floor. My grandma's estate had three floors, a tennis court, a pool area with a jacuzzi, a lobby, a dining hall, a living room, a weight room, an exercise room, a den, and a man-cave from when my grandpa was alive. The movers set my bed, my nightstand, my desk, my TV, and my lamp in my room. The room already had a dresser, so I just put all my clothes in there. I walked around the house to check it out. It was pretty cool. I just wished my grandma was there to enjoy it with me. I walked back to my room, and laid down on my bed. I just closed my eyes, and fell asleep. I just saw black. Suddenly, I heard May's voice.

"Aaron?" She called out. I heard footsteps.

"Oh, he's asleep." I slowly opened my eyes, and saw her leaning over me.

"'Sup?" I asked.

"The Akatsuki's here. They're all waiting in the lobby. By the way, my room is the next, and Rich's room is two down from mine." May said. I nodded. I stood up, and walked down the stairs. I came into the lobby to find the Akatsuki standing around, looking at everything. In fact, the lobby was one of the most fascinating places in the whole house. My grandma had had enough money to buy the Statue of David and a couple of famous paintings. She had bought busts of her favorite artist, Leonardo da Vinci. The entire lobby was made of marble, with exotic plants and scenery.

"Hey, you guys. Welcome to my grandma's estate." I said, They all turned to face me.

"You guys can choose any of the rooms on any of the three floors. My room, May's room, and Rich's rooms are the first, second, and fourth rooms on the third floor. Also, Zetsu, if you want to take some of the plants in here up to your room, you can." I told them. Zetsu smiled, showing his sharp teeth. I nodded, and left to go to my room. I needed to take a nap. I just crawled into bed, and fell asleep quickly. I was emotionally exhausted. I awoke five hours later after dreaming of good times with my grandmother. I got up out of bed, and decided to sit in the Jacuzzi. I got on my swim trunks and took my shirt off, and walked to the pool area. Nobody was there, so I just climbed in the Jacuzzi.

"Man, today was so weird…" I said to myself.

"Yes it was." A voice said. I jumped and cried out. I looked to see Konan sitting in the Jacuzzi next to where I was.

"Oh, sorry…I didn't know you were in there." I apologized. She smiled.

"It's alright. I quite enjoy having company." She said. I smiled back.

"What is this device anyways?" She asked.

"It's called a Jacuzzi. It's sort of like taking a bath, but you can relax, and you can make the jets work." I replied. She looked confused.

"Jets?" She asked. I walked over to the little control pad. I pressed the green button, and the jets activated.

"This feels really good." She said. I nodded.

"It's supposed to." She sighed, and sank down a little. I decided I didn't really need to go to the pool, so I walked inside, got changed, and decided to make myself dinner. Hidan charged in behind me, and shouted,

"I WILL SACRIFICE YOU TO JASHIN-SAMA!" He charged at me with his scythe raised. Everyone rushed in as fast as they could. They all watched as I simply side-stepped as he swung downwards. I quickly got behind him, and chopped his left elbow. His arm went limp. I did his other elbow, and that arm went limp, making him drop his scythe.

"WHAT THE HELL?" He cried out. I crouched down, and sweeped his legs. He fell backwards, and landed on his bum.

"That was so badass…" Rich said. I smirked.

"Was he trying to sacrifice you?" Pein asked. I nodded.

"He sure was. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention this, but I'm a black belt in Taekwondo, and know the Dim Mak—A.K.A Death Touch—Chinese fighting style. I also know how to do the Vulcan Nerve Pinch. (Real life facts)" I replied. Rich spoke up.

"You seriously don't want to mess with him unless you want to find yourself unable to move any part of your body." He said. Everyone looked at me in awe. Most people Hidan tried to sacrifice died. Only a small 0.00001% lived. I'm part of that percent.

"Now, before you get a good night's sleep, know that you should never try to sacrifice anyone here on Earth. If you do, you'll be labeled as a psychopath, arrested, sent to the electric chair, and killed." I told Hidan.

"But I can't fucking be ki—" I cut him off with a chop to the base of his spine, and he slumped forward. Pein spoke up.

"Impressive. I've never met anyone who could survive Hidan trying to sacrifice them except for us and people who got lucky." He said. I grinned.

"All it takes is skill, timing, knowledge, luck, and the balls to do it." I told him. He smiled.

"Now, would you all like some dinner?" I asked. Everyone nodded, and I said,

"Good, because I'm making something special." Everyone sat down at the dining hall table, and I began cooking. I made some pad thai, with my family's secret spice. Pad thai is one of my favorite foods. (true fact) I brought two steaming pots of it to the dining hall, and set it on the table. Everyone took a big whiff, and Kisame said,

"Smells good." I grinned, and said,

"Tastes way better. It's got shrimp, chicken, and beef in it." Kisame licked his lips at the word shrimp.

"What is it?" Pein asked.

"It's called Pad Thai. It's one of my favorite foods. It's a type of noodle dish that comes from Thailand, and it has egg, scallions, crushed peanuts, Pad Thai sauce, tofu, and usually vegetables. It also has my family's secret spice. It's a family secret. Every parent teaches it to their child or children and whoever they get married to. We put the spice on everything." I replied.

"What's the secret spice?" May asked.

"Sorry, but I can't tell you. That's why it's a secret." I said.

"Now dig in!" I shouted. Everyone tried a little bite, and began to eat hungrily.

"This is really good!" May exclaimed. I smiled.

"We always try to make it that way." I said. I started eating. I ate quietly the whole time. Everything here reminded me of my grandma. Everyone sitting down for a meal, the statues, the paintings, the walls, the floors. I just couldn't get her out of my head. Rich noticed my expression, and asked,

"Something on your mind?" I nodded.

"My grandmother. I just wish she was still here." I told him. He nodded.

"Yeah, I know how you feel. I lost my uncle as a kid. He died in war. I had waited every day for him to come through the front door with a smile. After three years, when I was six, my family received a letter from the government, saying he was killed in action. We all were really sad. In fact, we were basically emo for three months, not even having a single smile on any of our faces, but we remembered that he wouldn't want us to let it oppress us, so we got over it. I'm still sad about that, but I don't just mope every day." I smiled at him.

"You know, it's always nice to have someone there to comfort you when you have sad thoughts." I said.

"We should just blow up your head to make art, un! That way, you won't have any thoughts!" Deidara said. Pein smacked him upside the head. I held up a knife in a threatening way.

"Shut up. Just shut up. Or else I will castrate you and make your arms and hands useless for the rest of your life." I said. He looked down in fear and then at his hand mouths. We all went back to eating after a deadly silence, and I went to my room. I fell on the bed and quickly went to sleep.

**Chrematophile: Someone with a love of money**

**Dim Mak: A Chinese fighting style involving using your opponent's body against them by hitting pressure points.**

**Did you like chapter 1? I will get chapter 2 of this story, and chapter 13 of the Blazing Dragon out soon!**


	2. What the Hell just Happened?

**Here is Chapter 2 of All the Birds of Akatsuki! Hope joo likes it! If you flame me, I WILL SEND MY BIRDIE MINIONS TO PECK YOUR BALLS OFF! !**

**Aaron's POV**

I woke up with a headache. Yesterday was so quote, "troublesome", unquote. I got right out of my bed, and got dressed. I looked in my mirror to see how I looked, and for some reason, my eyes were red. That was weird, considering I had black, spikey hair. I blinked, and I was back to normal. I just shrugged it off. I walked out of my room, and went down to the kitchen. I just poured myself a bowl of cereal, and sat down. Hidan sneaked into the doorway. I just ate quietly. He charged at me, and screamed,

"I WILL SACRIFICE YOU TO JASHIN-SAMA!" I just sat there as he sped forward. Right as he got behind me, I reached a hand out, and jabbed his stomach. He dropped his scythe, and clutched over. I jabbed him one more time in the stomach, and he fell on the floor unconscious. I was eating my cereal as all that happened. Everyone rushed in at the loud noise.

"He tried to sacrifice you again?" Pein asked. I nodded.

"Yep. And I beat him again. This time with one arm, _and_ while eating cereal with the other." I replied. Everyone just stared. Then they all went to the table, and got out some cereal as well. When we all finished, I stood up, and said,

"Let's go buy some stuff." Everyone looked at me.

"If we got money, we should use some of it." I told them. They just shrugged, except for Kakuzu, who was sad. We all walked out the front door, and down the sidewalk. As we were walking. Rich fell into a hole.

"What the heck just happened?" May asked. I shrugged. We looked down into the hole to see if Rich was visible, and we all got sucked in. We all screamed as we began spiraling through darkness. I fell out of a hole in the sky down towards a lake. I hit the water with a loud splash. I swam up, and gasped for air. I looked at my reflection in the water. I had those blood red eyes again.

'This is just weird…' I thought as I was choking on water. I heard footsteps. I began to sink as I saw someone dive in. I raised my hand up, hoping someone would grab onto it. But someone didn't. I slowly sank down, and darkness consumed my sight. It was all black until I heard someone's voice.

"Hey…Wake up…C'mon, wake up!" A female voice said. I coughed, and felt water slosh out of my mouth. I coughed more, and opened my eyes. I was in a bed somewhere. Two people were standing over me. One of them had pink hair, and jade green eyes, just like May's. Another had blond hair that was tied in two long ponytails, a purple diamond mark on her forehead, and brown eyes. They were both blurry.

"Wha…(wheeze)…" I barely made out. My eyes focused to see Tsunade and Sakura standing over me.

"Who are you?" Tsunade said in a weird voice. For some reason, I figured out that she was speaking Japanese.

'Why the hell is she speaking Japanese?' I thought.

'**I don't fucking know**.' I heard voice say inside my head.

'Who the crap are you?' I asked it.

'**I'm your inner, duh. Idiot.**' My inner said.

'You know, if you're my inner, you're technically me. Since you called me an idiot, you called yourself that.' I told it. I heard a mental facepalming sound.

'What the hell?' I turned back to Tsunade.

"Who are you?" She asked again. She seemed angry.

"Namae wa Aaron desu." I said. I had taken a class on Japanese in college, and I did very good, so that came in very handy.

"_Hontōni_?" She asked disbelievingly. I nodded.

"Hai Tsunade-sama." I replied. She studied me for a bit, analyzing every bit of me.

"Watashi wa amari nihongo o hanasanai." I stated. She seemed a little surprised, and also puzzled.

"Tsugini dono yona gengo o hanashimasu ka?" She asked me.

"Eigo." I replied. She nodded, and did some hand signs, then she tapped my forehead quickly with her middle and index fingers.

"Ow!" I cried out.

"That better?" She asked. I nodded.

"Thank you Tsunade-sama." I told her while smiling. She smiled back. Then she immediately went back to questioning me.

"Who are you?" She asked. I opened my mouth to answer, but didn't get to because a bunch of people burst into the room. All three of us turned and looked at them.

"So where's the dude I saved? You found out who he is yet, Baa-chan?" A voice said. I recognized that voice easily. It was Naruto. Everyone walked over, and began looking at me. Naruto was about to speak when I said,

"Hey Naruto." He stopped for a moment, and everyone stared at him.

"You know this guy?" Ino asked. Naruto shook his head no.

"I've never seen him before in my life." He said.

"Then how does he know your name?" Shikamaru asked. I answered instead of him.

"That goes in the category of "Part of Who I Am"." I said. They all looked confused. I drew in a deep breath, and began my tale.

**30 Minutes Later**

Everyone was staring at me in disbelief. I had told them who I was, where I came from, that they were fictional characters in a manga and anime written by Masashi Kishimoto, how more than half the population of the Earth knew about them, and…that I knew everything about them. I didn't tell them how _much_ I knew, though.

"How do we know you aren't lying so we don't punish you?" Tsunade asked.

"Just ask me a question, and I'll answer it." I told them. She thought for a moment.

"Who defected from our village after a certain person came to him and offered him power, what was the name of the person who offered him power, and what special thing caused him to want it more and more?" Tsunade asked me. I knew it easily.

"The person who defected from this village, Konohagakure no Sato, was Sasuke Uchiha, one of the of the Uchiha clan, the person who came to him was Orochimaru of the Sannin, your ex-teammate, and that special thing was the Cursed Seal of Heaven, the most powerful of two cursed seals that you know of." I replied. Everyone's jaws broke through the floor.

"I know, I'm awesome." I said with a smirk.

"It seems…you were telling the truth." Tsunade said.

"You may stay here in the Leaf Village, but you will not be allowed to leave without a shinobi escort. The information you contain is secret, and cannot be revealed to the other villages." She told me. I nodded and smiled.

"Don't worry; I wouldn't give up the information without a fight." I told her. She smiled back.

"So where will I stay?" I asked. She thought for a moment.

"He could stay with me, Baa-chan!" Naruto exclaimed. She shrugged, and said,

"That's fine with me." Naruto pumped his fist into the air.

"You may also receive basic shinobi training if you wish. I very rarely offer this to people, but you seem trustworthy, and no one has come after my grandfather's necklace, so it's okay." Tsunade told me. I thought.

'It wouldn't really hurt at all. It would probably help.'

'**Hell yeah it would!**' My inner said. I looked at Tsunade.

"Sure." I said with a smile. She nodded.

"I will get Kakashi Hatake to train you, starting in about 20 minutes." Tsunade said. I bowed my head in respect, and everyone left. After about three minutes, Kakashi came in with Jiraiya.

"Hey Kakashi, hey Pervy Sage." I said. Jiraiya groaned.

"Why does everyone call me that?" He asked.

"A. You're a perv." I began. He was about to contradict when I said,

"I meant super perv." He stopped.

"and B. You're the Toad Sennin." I said. He hung his head low.

"I guess it kinda fits, doesn't it?" He asked. I got up and patted him on the back.

"Don't worry. You just have quit either being a sage, or being a super perv." I chose the words "super perv" so he wouldn't contradict me. Kakashi spoke up.

"We're going to be training in about 17 minutes." He said. I grinned.

"Who cares about 17 minutes? I'm ready to train now!" I said.

"Well, then follow me." I walked behind him all the way to training ground 11. It was the afternoon.

"You know, I'm wondering if I have chakra or not." I said.

"Just try to do a jutsu, and we'll see how good your chakra is." He told me. One of my favorites popped right into my mind. I did the hand signs at a normal pace.

_Monkey_

_Dragon_

_Rat_

_Bird_

_Ox_

_Snake_

_Tiger_

_Monkey_

Kakashi watched, wondering what jutsu I would perform. His eyes widened when he saw the last hand sign.

"Chidori!" I shouted. I held out my right hand. At first, there was nothing. Then, little sparks began to flutter about. Suddenly, electricity arced all over my hand, forming a ball of energy. My eyes widened as I saw I had formed a Chidori. I didn't expect it to work at all. I just expected that I would be embarrassed.

"Holy shit…" Kakashi said. I suddenly grew extremely tired. I fell to the ground, and the Chidori disappeared. Kakashi rushed over.

"How the hell did you do that? Are you okay?" He asked, sounding concerned, worried, amazed, and shocked all at the same time.

"I…I don't know…But (wheeze) I'm okay…" I hoarsely said. I felt pain in my eyes. I walked over to a little stream inside the training ground.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi asked. I got to the stream, and splashed water on my face. I looked at my reflection to see what was wrong. I gasped.

"Kakashi…come here…" I said. He rushed right over.

"What do you need?" He asked.

"Look at my reflection…" I said. He looked into the water. What he saw shocked him. I had blood red eyes, with three comma-like marks surrounding my pupil. He held my face up for a second. He looked straight at my eyes. His visible eye widened.

"Oh my god…We have to report this to Tsunade." He said. I was too weak to walk. I couldn't even blink. He slung me over his shoulder, and rushed to the Hokage Tower.

"Lady Tsunade! I have something important to report!" Kakashi shouted as he got in the room. That startled the crap out of Tsunade.

"What is it?" She asked. He brought me over to her desk.

"Look at his eyes." She looked at me. Then she gasped.

"I think we finally found him." Kakashi said.

"Who?" I asked hoarsely.

"Does the name Hiroshi Uchiha mean anything to you? Does it ring any bells?" He asked. Hiroshi Uchiha…It tickled the back of my mind.

"I…I think so…" I said. I tried to remember. Then I saw something in my mind. A picture of me, Sasuke, Itachi, and their mom and dad.

"Whoa…I just saw something weird." I told them.

"What did you see?" Tsunade asked.

"I saw Sasuke, Itachi, Fugaku, Mikoto, and myself in a picture…" I said. Kakashi nodded, and Tsunade smiled.

"You're probably not going to believe what I'm about to say, but…You're Itachi's brother." My eyes widened. I fainted right there on the spot. Kakashi caught me, and said,

"He's probably gonna have a hard time coping with this." Tsunade nodded, and he took me to a guest room in the Hokage Tower.

**I'm Itachi's brother? HOLY FUCKING CHEESE GRATER BALLS! Chapter 3 comes out soon!**

**Also, Translations:**

**Namae wa Aaron desu.: My name is Aaron.**

**_Hontōni_?: _Really_?**

**Watashi wa amari nihongo o hanasanai.: I don't speak Japanese.**

**Tsugini dono yona gengo o hanashimasu ka?: Then what language do you speak?**

**Eigo.: English**


	3. Where the crap are we?

**Heya! This is Jinso here with Chapter 3! Be ready to catch the drama in...You know what? Forget that shit. I'm tired of every commercial for a show saying, "Catch the Drama on..." or "You won't want to miss the new episode of..." I just hate that! What's up with all the freakin' drama? I mean, I'd like a little bit less annoying, and more guns, explosions, funny moments, and cussing! *Begins to rant for like an hour***

**Inner: I'm sorry, please just don't listen to him. He gets cranky without milk and cookies. But NOT cookies and milk. He got so sick on that one time. It was like Hell had barfed in his mind! Anyways, enjoy Chapter 3!**

**Rich's POV**

I woke up in a forest, with nobody else around. I sat up and looked around.

"What the hell just happened?" I asked no one in particular. I heard some rustling.

I heard a male voice asking something in Japanese. It asked,

"Did you hear something?"

A female voice said something in reply. I made it out to be,

"I think it was a person." I recognized the female voice as the voice of Hinata. I think the male voice belonged to Kiba. It sounded like them, but I mean, come on, what's the chance of me meeting the Naruto characters? Well, I did meet the Akatsuki, and that was weird. 'Cuz, I mean, they were freakin' birds! I heard the people getting closer. Three people walked into the little area where I was. I'm just going to translate everything to English so you can understand.

"Who the hell is he?" Someone asked. I turned to see three people who looked exactly like Kiba, Hinata, and Shino.

"Where am I?" I asked them in Japanese.

"You're in the forest outside of Konoha." The one who looked like Shino replied.

"Watashi wa amari nihongo o hanasanai." I told them. The person who looked like Shino did some hand signs, and poked my forehead with his middle and index fingers.

"Ow!" I cried out.

"Is that better?" He asked. I nodded.

"Who are you?" The one who looked like Shino asked.

"Who are _you_?" I asked.

"You have to tell us first, idiot. Or else we'll have to force it out of you." The dude who looked like Kiba replied. He cracked his knuckles, and grinned.

"That doesn't scare me a bit." I said. He still was grinning.

"You don't want to make us force it out of you." The guy who looked like Kiba said.

"You still don't scare me. And also, if you hurt me, I have a friend who can cut off the ability to use any appendage on your body. That _includes_ your penis, dog boy." I told him. He looked down instinctively, and backed up a little, but asked,

"How do you know I have a dog?"

"I will tell you if you tell me who you are." I'm very good at negotiating. The one who looked like Shino said,

"I am Shino Aburame," He then pointed to the one who looked like Hinata.

"That's Hinata Hyuga." He pointed to the one who looked like Kiba.

"And that is Kiba Inuzuka." Kiba got a little bit angry.

"Why'd you tell him who we are, you idiot? Now he could report back to his boss or whatever!" He said. Shino rolled his eyes, or at least, I think he did.

"I sense no evil intentions from him." Shino replied. Kiba shut up.

"Could you help me find my friend?" I asked.

"What's his name, and what does he look like?" Shino asked.

"He's about my height; a little bit taller, has black hair, and his name is Aaron." Their eyes widened.

"There's someone back at the village that fits that description to a tee." Shino said. My eyes took their turn to stretch.

"Can you take me there?" I asked. Shino nodded.

"But we'll have to watch you closely." He added. I shrugged.

"Whatever." I replied. I got up off the ground, and walked with them. We all walked back to this big village that reminded me of Konoha. There were guards at the gates, and they stopped me.

"I.D. please." One of them said. Shino stopped them.

"It's ok, he's with us." They nodded, and they let us through. We all walked around. The entire place looked exactly like Konoha. This was getting weird. They took me all the way to the Hokage's Tower, as they called it. They led me to a guest room, and I opened the door. One of my best friends was sitting on the bed with someone who looked like Kakashi Hatake.

"Aaron!" I cried out. He turned in my direction.

"Rich!" He said. We both ran to the middle of the room. We fist-bumped.

"You wound up here too?" Aaron asked me.

"Nah. I wound up in the big forest outside of here." I replied.

"By the way, where the hell are we?" I asked.

**Aaron's POV**

I sighed.

"You're not gonna believe this, but we're in the Naruto-verse." I told him. His jaw hung low.

"Yep. And you want to see something cool?" I asked. He nodded excitedly. I activated my sharingan.

"HOLY SHIT!" He cried out.

**Rich's POV**

So my best friend asked if I wanted to see something cool, and I was excited. Next thing I know, he has the Sharingan! OH. MY. GAWD!

**Aaron's POV**

I activated my sharingan, and he flipped out like a monkey. Surprise, Surprise.

"How can you do that?" He asked incredulously.

"Well, as it turns out, I am an Uchiha." I said. He fainted right then and there. I caught him as he fell. Kakashi got out some smelling salts, and waved them near his nose.

"EW! WHAT SMELLS?" He cried out as he was jolted awake by a horrible smell.

"That, my friend, would be smelling salts." I said. He looked straight up at me.

"You have the Sharingan!" He said. I shushed him.

"We don't want the whole world to know." I told him.

"Why?" He asked.

"What I'm about to tell you is classified. You cannot tell anyone except people who can keep a major secret, like May." I told him. He nodded seriously.

"I'm Itachi's brother." I whispered. His eyes bugged to the size of his head.

"WHAT?" He cried out. I nodded. Kakashi was looking at him funny.

"He reminds me of someone I knew as a kid." Kakashi said. I turned to him.

"Really?" I asked. Kakashi nodded.

"Yeah, the guy's name was Rishi…something. He looked just like you." He said. I turned to Rich with an uneasy glance.

"Wait, I am Itachi's brother, and I never knew it. You said the guy's name was Rishi, right? That sounds a **lot** like Richy, which is what May and I sometimes call him. Is there a chance he could be that guy?" I asked. Kakashi shrugged.

"Unless I can remember the guy's last name, I don't know." Kakashi said.

"And who's May?" Kakashi asked.

"She's my other best friend." I answered.

"She probably ended up somewhere out there." Rich said.

"We should go look for her." I said.

"Aaron, you don't have enough training, and Rich, you don't have **any** training. We can't." Something perked up in my mind. I remembered that my grandma had died the other day, and how sad I felt.

"Kakashi, I need to tell you something that may or may not be important." I said. He looked at me quizzically.

"What is it?" He asked.

"The other day, before I ended up here, I got a letter saying my grandma had died. I felt really sad. I hadn't really focused on it then, but now I remember that that day, while I was looking in a mirror, I saw something flicker in my eyes. I managed to catch a glimpse of it. It looked like my eyes were red, but they had some sort of shape in them. It looked like a shuriken, but had lines coming out of it. I fainted right after. Is that important?" I asked. He looked uneasy.

He whispered something unintelligible.

"What?" I asked. He walked over to me.

"Aaron, close your eyes." He ordered. I did as he said.

"Now focus on the image of what you saw that day." I focused really hard.

"Now open your eyes." I opened them slowly. He looked at my eyes out of the corner of his.

"The Mangekyo…" He said.

"What?" I cried out. I blinked, and my eyesight felt normal again.

"You have the Mangekyo Sharingan. It must have come from the sadness of losing your grandmother." Kakashi said.

I felt that pang in my heart again.

"Well, since I have the Mangekyo, and you're a Jounin, I'm pretty sure we could go on that mission. All we'd need is maybe someone from the Hyuga so we can find her easier." I suggested. Kakashi thought.

"You know, that's a pretty sound plan." He said.

"And if the Hokage says no, I could always _convince_ her another way." I said with a sly grin.

3

2

1

And…Kakashi's perverted giggle came in on cue. I smacked him upside the head.

"Not _that_ kind of convince! She's like 70 years old!" I said with a raised voice. I was lucky the Hokage didn't hear me.

"I could just use the Sharingan! DUH!" I told him. He rubbed the back of his head sorely with a sheepish grin.

"We should also probably tell her about Rich." I added. He nodded, and we both walked up the stairs to her office. Tsunade was at her desk, doing paperwork.

"Hello, Hokage-sama." I said. She smiled.

"How are you doing, Aaron?" She asked. I smiled back.

"Good. We found another friend of mine. His name is Rich." I told her. She looked up.

"That's nice." She said.

"Kakashi said something important about him. That he reminded him of someone Kakashi had as a friend in his childhood. The boy's name was Rishi. The thing is, my other friend who came here with us, May, and I, we call Rich _Richy_." I told her. She expressed full interest.

"You think he may be that child from Kakashi's childhood?" She asked. I nodded. She grew a grim expression.

"Then she's the other…" Tsunade said.

"The other what?" I asked. Tsunade suddenly put up a silencing seal on the room.

"Back in the time when Kakashi was a child, three children were playing out in the forest one day. Their parents had let them wander off, thinking they'd be okay. But the children didn't come back in the evening. Their parents got worried. The parents hired a few teams of shinobi to search for their kids. Those shinobi searched all day, and all they found was a mysterious black circular hole in the middle of the forest. Before anything could happen, the hole closed up, and all hope for the children was lost. Those three children were you, that boy Rishi, who had blonde hair, and a girl with brown hair named Maya Hyuga."

"We were all swallowed up by a black circular hole just today." I stated.

"Rishi's surname…was Uzumaki…" Tsunade said.

"Holy crap…" We all looked at the door. Rich had followed us up here. He had blond spiky hair like Naruto.

"Oh my god…you're related to Naruto! You lucky bastard!" I said with glee.

"Uh, but you have the Sharingan." He countered. I stopped for a moment.

"Wait…_May_a Hyuga? May has brown hair…so that means…SHE'S A HYUGA?" I exclaimed. I didn't really care if I screamed or not. There was a silencing seal up.

"I believe so." Tsunade said.

"Then Kakashi and I request that we be allowed to search for her." I said.

"We would also request that we be allowed to bring another Hyuga to make the search easier." I added. Tsunade nodded.

"Request granted." She said. I was struck with a question for a moment.

"So wait, if I'm Itachi and Sasuke's brother, and Rich is Naruto's brother, wouldn't that mean that May is Hinata's sister?" I asked. Tsunade nodded.

"I would say so." She said.

"Then I request we bring Hinata Hyuga with us. She can meet her older sister, and get a confidence boost from big sis." I told her. She smiled.

"Go ahead." Tsunade told us. I bowed, and said,

"Arigato, Hokage-sama." She nodded, and we went off. We stopped at the Hyuga Main Branch House to pick up Hinata. Someone came to the door. It was Hiashi Hyuga. He asked,

"What do you need?"

"We have orders from the Hokage to bring Hinata Hyuga with us on a mission. The Byakugan is needed for this search mission." Kakashi told him.

"I don't know why the Hokage is wasting her time with that girl. She has no backbone." Hiashi said while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"The Hokage and we believe this mission will help boost her confidence." I told him. He stopped for a moment.

"Then I will get her." He said. He closed the door for a second, and came back with Hinata. She bowed, and said,

"Hello." Timidly. I smiled at her.

"No need for manners. Just call me Aaron." I said. She stood back up.

"Are you sure?" She asked. I nodded.

"I'm positive." I replied. We packed up a few things, and then left the gates. I thought for a bit as we were walking.

"Kakashi." I said.

"Yeah?" Came the reply.

"I think there's some sort of pattern here." I told him.

"Really? How so?" He asked.

"Well, I was found by Naruto" Hinata blushed at his name.

"In a lake in a valley, which is low terrain. Rich was found in a forest, which is level terrain." Kakashi kept nodding.

"So I'm thinking that May is probably going to be somewhere high up." I told him. He nodded one last time.

"That seems logical." He replied.

"Are there any mountains near here?" I asked. We stopped walking. He thought.

"Well, there's one. It's a pretty low-level mountain. Not very high." He said. I nodded at him.

"Then let's go there." I said. We nodded, and both sped up our pace, but not too much, so Hinata could keep up. We were halfway to the mountain by nightfall. We decided to set up camp. Kakashi and I both set up three tents; one for me, one for him, and one for Hinata. We all got in our tents, and fell asleep quickly.

**May's POV**

She had landed on top of some kind of mountain. She looked for a way down all day, but she would've died if she had gone with any of the ways she thought of. So, she just laid down on the hard stone, and fell asleep quickly.

'Aaron, Rich, where the hell are you two?' She asked in her mind. She fell asleep quickly, even though cold winds were blowing, and she had nothing to cover herself with.

**Aaron's POV**

I had been sleeping in my tent when I heard a rustle a distance away. My eyes popped open, and I grabbed some kunai and shuriken. I slowly crawled out of my tent, and walked over a few yards. I peeked through a bush. In a clearing, I saw Sasuke Uchiha, my brother, training a bit. I tried to sneak away, but I accidentally stepped on a twig, and Sasuke heard me.

"Who's there?" Sasuke cried out. I raised my hands up, and walked out.

"Who're you?" Sasuke asked. I kept my eyes closed.

"I shall only give you two words." I said.

"And what are they?" Sasuke asked me. I activated my Sharingan with my eyes closed.

"Goodbye, Otouto." I said. Sasuke looked away for a second. I opened my eyes. Otouto?

"But you aren't Ita—" He couldn't finish because he had looked straight into my eyes, and saw the Sharingan spinning. He slumped to the ground, and fell unconscious. I spoke to him quickly through my genjutsu.

"Do not worry, Otouto, you shall see me again when the time is right." I told him. I left Sasuke there unconscious. I walked back to camp, and found Kakashi there, standing up and waiting for me.

"Where were you?" He asked.

"I heard some noises, and went to check them out." I replied.

"What were they from?" He asked.

"Just some owls." I lied.

"I got them to shut up with my Sharingan, and came back here." I told him. He shrugged.

"Whatever."

"Now, let's get back to sleep." I said. He agreed, and we went to our separate tents. I just settled in my sleeping bag, and quickly went back to blissful sleeping.

**Did you like this Chapter? I met my Otouto! By the way, Otouto means brother. Tou means dad. Imouto means sister. And I don't know what mother is. GO LOOK IT UP. Thanks for reading, and Chapter 4 will be out soon!**


	4. This is so Freakin' Weird

**Me: Here is Chapter 4! Be ready for surprises!**

**Inner: We both sincerely hope you enjoy it.**

**Me: Hey, who the hell let you out?**

**Inner: I come and go as I please.**

**Me: Not when you originated in my mind. *tries to suck Inner back in***

**Inner: Not so easy, is it?**

**Me: Screw you! Raikiri!**

**Inner: Oh shitters.**

**Me: *proceeds to chase Inner around like a maniac*Get back in my mind!**

**Inner: !**

**Me: Please read the story while I get this motherfucker back in my mind.**

**May's POV**

I had landed on top of some kind of mountain yesterday, and I didn't know where the heck I was! But it was cold up there, and I was lonely. I kept wondering where the heck my friends were, and what happened to the Akatsuki.

"What _did_ happen to them anyways?" I kept asking no one in particular. The last time I asked it, I didn't expect to get a reply.

"What happened to who?" A female voice asked in Japanese. I turned around in surprise and saw a blonde girl with four spikey ponytails in a purple outfit. She reminded me of Temari, who was one of my favorite characters from Naruto.

"My friends." I replied.

"Also, I don't speak Japanese. I speak English." I added. The girl did some hand signs, walked over to me, and poked my forehead quickly with her middle and index fingers.

"Is that better?" She asked.

"Yeah, but it kinda hurt." I told her. She giggled.

"It normally does." She said.

"Temari, what are you doing?" A male voice asked. We both turned to see someone who looked exactly like Kankuro.

"I just found this girl here, Kankuro." She replied.

"'Sup kitty?" I asked him. He growled a little. Temari giggled.

"What's your name?" Temari asked.

"My name's May." I replied.

"Really?" Kankuro asked. I nodded.

"Are your names really Kankuro and Temari?" I asked. They both nodded.

"There's no way that's possible unless your parents were big Naruto fans." I told them. They just stared at me in a confused way.

"Um, Naruto's that boy from the Leaf Village. Why would our parents name us Kankuro and Temari if they were fans of him?" Temari asked.

"So you guys are really Temari and Kankuro from the Village Hidden in the Sand?" I asked. They both turned to look at each other, then Kankuro immediately shot out chakra strings to control my movements.

"How do you know that?" He asked threateningly. I was a little bit scared.

"I watch the Naruto anime and read the manga." I told him. He got angrier.

"There's no such thing." He said. I still had a copy of the Naruto manga in my pocket. I took it out and handed it to him. He skimmed it over a few times.

"There's no way that's possible…" He said. Temari looked at the manga over his shoulder. Kankuro turned back to me.

"Who are you?" He asked. I sighed, and told them all about me, how they were cartoon characters, etc.

**30 Minutes Later**

Their jaws had hit the ground.

"Horr to fre naw yawr nit laying?" Kankuro asked.

"What?" He pulled his jaw back up.

"How do we know you're not lying?" Kankuro asked me again, this time, clearer.

"I will tell you information that not many people know." I said. They both looked at me expectantly.

"Your brother, Gaara, is the jinchuriki of the Ichibi no Shukaku, the one-tailed beast. At the Chunin Exams, he had transformed. First, to a semi-Shukaku form. Then he faced Naruto Uzumaki, and used the Feigning Sleep Technique to let the Shukaku out. Naruto defeated him with help of the toad boss, Gamabunta." I told them. Their jaws dropped again.

"It seems you are telling the tru—" Kankuro didn't finish because a giant shadow loomed over me. They both backed away slowly.

"What?" I asked. Temari pointed to the thing that was hovering over me, and I turned around. There was some kind of bird…bee…wasp…thing. I backed away slowly as well.

"Help!" I cried out.

**Aaron's POV**

We had been walking up the mountain for twenty minutes. We were almost at the top.

"Hinata, can you use your Byakugan for a sec?" I asked. She nodded, and activated it.

"Now search around to see if anyone is near here." I said. She stood still, searching with her Byakugan.

"There's three people at the top of the mountain. Two I can recognize, and one I can't recognize at all." She told me.

"That might be May." I said. I suddenly heard a loud "Help!" I gasped.

"That's May's voice. C'mon!" I ordered. We all ran at full speed, racing towards the top of the mountain. I leaped, and landed at the top. There I saw May, Temari, and Kankuro cowering in front of a giant bird-bee thing. Nothing was going to hurt my best friend. I activated my Sharingan. I learned how to perform the Raikiri from Kakashi. But I could only use it once a day. I decided to try the Raikiri. I did the hand signs:

_Ox_

_Rabbit_

_Monkey_

I held my hand downwards. Electricity started to crackle all around my hand.

"Raikiri!" I shouted.

**May's POV**

It looked like I was about to get impaled by that thing's giant stinger when I heard my best friend's voice.

"Raikiri!" He shouted. I turned to see Aaron standing there with a ball of blue lightning crackling around in his hand.

"Aaron!" I exclaimed.

**Aaron's POV**

I saw my best friend turn to face me, and exclaim,

"Aaron!" I smiled at her. Then I resumed back to that weird creature. I began charging forward, racing at speeds I hadn't even known I could go. Right as I got to the beast, I leaped up into the air, flipped, and plunged my Raikiri into its head. It writhed in pain, but fell on the ground dead. I leaped off it, and back onto the ground. Then I went over to May.

"You alright?" I asked her. She nodded. I helped her up.

"How did you do that?" She asked in amazement.

"Well, I'm apparently an Uchiha." I told her. She was about to faint when I shook her.

"Don't faint like Rich did." I told her.

"Where's Rich?" She asked me.

"At Konoha. We're in the Naruto-verse." I told her. She was about to faint again when I shook her. AGAIN.

"Don't faint. It's annoying. And if you do, we'll have to put smelling salts up to your nose, and they smell terrible." I told her. She nodded.

"Can you try something for me?" I asked. She nodded.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Can you try to activate the Byakugan?" I asked her. She looked at me like I was in a straitjacket.

"That probably won't ever happen." She told me.

"Just try it." I ordered. She sighed.

"Byakugan!" She shouted. What happened next didn't surprise me. Veins grew around her eyes, and her eyes turned a pale lavender.

"What the heck?" She cried out. I nodded, and grinned.

"Just as I thought." I said. She looked at me in a confused way. I turned to Hinata.

"Hinata, meet your older sister." I said. Both their jaws fell.

"M-My older s-sister?" She asked. I nodded.

"I'll tell you why." I began. I told them the story of how May, Rich, and I were born in this world, and that one day our parents decided to let us play in the forest, but we didn't come back.

"The shinobi that were sent out couldn't find us, but they did find a circular, black hole. Like the one we fell into. We hadn't known it, because we were like, two years old, but we had ended up in the real world." She just stared at me in disbelief.

"So…I'm a Hyuga?" She asked. I nodded.

"I'm Sasuke and Itachi's brother." I told her. Everyone else except for Kakashi was watching the conversation in shock.

"So who is Rich's family member?" May asked.

"Naruto." I said simply. Everyone—Except for Kakashi—'s jaws dropped. I turned to Hinata.

"And Hinata, I'm sure Rich and May would both approve of you and Naruto getting together." I told her with a grin. She blushed and started poking her index fingers together. I went over to Temari and helped her get up.

"Thank you." She said. I smiled.

"No problem." I replied. I walked away.

"Hey, what about me?" Kankuro asked.

"Girls and Ladies first. You're a guy. Do it yourself." I replied with a smirk. He steamed.

"Aw come on! Doesn't it matter that I'm a shinobi?" Kankuro shouted. I groaned.

"Fine. I'll help you up." I said. I walked over to him. I reached out my hand, grabbed his, and pulled him up.

"Thank you." He said.

"No problem, _ma'am_." I replied. Everyone started laughing. I think smoke literally started coming out of his ears.

"YOU—" He began. He couldn't finish because I had activated my Sharingan and he looked me straight in the eyes. He crumpled to the ground.

"Ah, the Sharingan. It _really_ helps when you want someone to shut up." I said. Everyone burst into laughter again. I turned to Temari.

"He should wake up in a couple of hours." I said. She smiled.

"Good, because I need someone to come with me whenever I go shopping and Gaara never will." She told me. We all waved goodbye, and went to our separate villages. When we got back to Konoha, we went straight into the Hokage's office.

"Hello, Hokage-sama." I said. Tsunade smiled.

"Hello Aaron." She replied.

"We found May." I told Tsunade.

"That's good."

"And she is definitely Hinata's sister." I said. She looked up from her paperwork.

"Really?" She asked. I nodded.

"Show her, May." I said. May nodded timidly, and activated her Byakugan.

"That's good. Now we know that everyone's okay. By the way, your friend is at Naruto's house." She replied. I bowed, and said,

"Thank you for telling us. Also, may I tell Naruto who his father is? I'm planning on telling him that Rich is his brother." She nodded, and we went to see Rich. We knocked on the door of Naruto's house five minutes later. The door opened to reveal Rich.

"Hey dude!" He said.

"You found May?" I nodded, and May stepped forward.

"Awesome. Come on in." Rich said. We both stepped inside. The place was pretty clean.

"Hey Naruto? My friends are here." Rich called out.

"Cool." Naruto's voice replied back.

"Did you tell him yet?" I asked Rich with a whispered voice.

"Not yet. I've been planning to." He replied in the same volume.

"We should tell him now." I told him. He nodded.

"Hey Naruto, can you come here for a sec?" Rich asked.

"Sure." Naruto replied. A few seconds passed, and Naruto came walking into the room.

"What's up?" He asked.

"We have something important to tell you. Sit down." I said. He sat down in a chair.

"You know how you're an only child?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Well, as it turns out, your father and mother had another child about 10 years before you were born." I said. He kept staring at me.

"Do you want to know who he is?" I asked him. He nodded excitedly.

"He's right over there." I pointed to Rich. Naruto's mouth dropped.

"Hey little bro." Rich said with a grin. Naruto ran over and hugged Rich with tears in his eyes.

"How come you didn't visit me?" Naruto asked.

"I didn't even know you were my brother. I got lost in the woods and fell down some kind of hole at age two. You were born when I was twelve, and I had watched the anime then, so I thought you were just a cartoon character." Rich told him, patting him on the back.

"Also, would you like to know who your father is?" I asked the boy. He nodded happily.

"The Yondaime." I said simply. His jaw dropped.

"H-How?" He asked.

"If you look in a mirror, and imagine yourself without whisker marks, you look just like him." I told the boy. He kept sobbing happily.

"By the way, I can get you guys some ramen to talk over." I added. All traces of sadness appeared from Naruto's face, and were replaced with excitement.

"RAMEN!" He shouted. I got out some money, and gave it to Naruto.

"You both can order up to nine bowls." I told them. Naruto pouted.

"Awwww. That's so little." He said.

"You're lucky you're getting one bowl." I reminded him. He stopped immediately. Naruto bowed, and the two went off. I turned to May.

"You should probably go stay with the other Hyugas." I said. She nodded, and I said,

"I'll walk you over." She shrugged, and we walked all the way to the Hyuga compound. I knocked on the door. Hiashi Hyuga opened it and asked,

"What do you want?"

"You know how your daughter Maya disappeared twelve years ago in the woods?" I asked him. His eyes narrowed.

"How do you know that?" He asked. I gestured to May.

"She's right here." I said. His eyes widened, and he looked her over.

"She's got the same brown hair, and the same jade green eyes, but if she can't use the Byakugan, she is not my daughter." He replied. I smirked and nodded to May. She focused and the veins around her eyes grew. Hiashi gasped.

"Maya, it is you…" He said. Then he embraced May in a bear hug.

"I thought you were dead!" He exclaimed.

"Nope, I just fell down a hole and ended up in an alternate universe." She told him. He let her go and turned to me.

"Who might you be so that I may pay you for finding my long-lost daughter?" Hiashi asked me.

"My name is Aaron. I've been with her the whole time. Though you might know me better as Hiroshi Uchiha." I told him. He smiled at me.

"Thank you, Hiroshi, for keeping her safe. I also am sorry for the loss of your mother and father to that traitor, Itachi." Hiashi said. I bowed, and said,

"It was no problem. I felt sad as well, when I found out who they were. Though you should give some of that money to your other daughter, Hinata. She helped us find her." He nodded, and called for Hinata.

"Yes father?" Hinata asked when she came. He took out some money and gave it to her.

"What is this for, father?" Hinata asked him.

"For helping Hiroshi find your sister." He said with a smile. She bowed, and almost left, but Hiashi said,

"Also, I'm so sorry for putting so much pressure on you about your talent. I just couldn't bear the thought of losing another daughter after Maya disappeared. Please forgive me." She smiled at him.

"I forgive you, father." Hinata said. The two of them hugged. My work here was done. So I walked over to the Hokage Tower to see Tsunade.

"Hello Tsunade." I said as I got to her office.

"Hello Aaron. Do you need anything?"

"I would like to know where Kakashi is." I said. Kakashi walked out of the shadows.

"Right here." He said. I grinned at him.

"We still have to train." I told him.

"Then let's go." He replied. We went off to the forest, and found a spot near a lake.

"We've already covered the basics of fighting, so is there any special techniques you want to learn?" Kakashi asked me. I thought for a moment.

"How to make Kage Bunshins, and I think that's it." I said. He gave me a questioning look.

"Are you sure you want to learn the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu?" He asked. I nodded confidently. He shrugged.

"Ok then. All you have to do is place your index and middle fingers in a cross, like so," He did the sign for me.

"And then mold your chakra like the Bunshin no Jutsu." He instructed. I placed my fingers in the seal, closed my eyes, and concentrated my chakra. I could feel it molding to be shaped like me. I heard multiple poofs of smoke, and heard no response from Kakashi.

"How'd I do?" I asked. I opened my eyes to see about thirty other me's standing in the area we were in. Kakashi was just staring in shock.

"Whoa!" I cried out. Kakashi nodded. This was my first time ever trying that, so I was amazed. I released them all, and they disappeared.

"Now try the Taju form." He ordered. I shrugged. I placed my hands in the seal, and focused. I heard countless poofs of smoke, and opened my eyes. About two hundred me's were now standing in the area. I released them all, and got knocked back after receiving all their memories, falling unconscious. Kakashi walked over, and carried me to the hospital. I woke up about three hours later. Kakashi was standing off to the side of the room.

"Hey. What's up?" I asked. He turned to face me.

"You really surprised me with the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. I thought you would've been knocked out for at least a month." He told me. I smirked.

"I'm just full of surprises. I can cook, know pressure points, can knock someone out with one or two blows, and am a black belt in Taekwondo." I replied.

"What's Taekwondo?" He asked.

"It's a martial art from one of the countries on Earth called Korea. It's only to be used for self-defense." I told Kakashi.

"Hmm. Sounds interesting." He replied, leaning his head against the wall.

"Think you could teach me?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Sure. I'm not really much of a teacher, though." I replied. We were both silent for a moment.

"I'd like to see what your affinities are." He said.

"Fine by me." I said. I got up out of the hospital bed, and got some clothes on. We both walked back to the area of the forest where we were a while ago. Kakashi got out a piece of chakra paper, and stuck it to a tree.

"Just place your finger on it, and channel a little bit of chakra into there." Kakashi said. I placed my finger on there, and just shot a little zip of chakra into it. The paper wrinkled, split into two, then burned to a crisp.

"Wow, that's unusual. You have fire, lightning, and wind affinities. The Chidori and Raikiri already explained the lightning, and the fire is probably because you're an Uchiha, but you didn't really show any signs of the wind." I shrugged for about the sixth time today. A scroll poofed into existence in his hand, and he tossed it to me.

"What's this?" I asked.

"It's the first wind jutsu I gave Naruto: the Beast Wave Palm. You have **much** more chakra control than he did when I gave it to him, so you should probably be able to learn it in about a day." Kakashi told me.

"Sweet." I said with a grin. He nodded.

"I believe we're done for the day. I'll spar with you after you finish learning the Beast Wave Palm." Kakashi said. I saluted him, and walked to Naruto's house.

**Me: Finally, I got Inner back in my mind!**

**Inner: You suck! You know that?**

**Me: Oh, shut up. You know you love me.**

**Inner: As much as I love Hell!**

**Me: Don't make me go Chidori on your mental ass.**

**Inner: *stays quiet***

**Me: Good. Chapter 5 will come out soon, so keep them computee thingys on!**


	5. Time to Have some fun

**Here is Chapter 5, where I get a girlfriend and sing some karaoke. Oops, spoiled it. Damn... Oh well, just read! Hope you like it!**

**Aaron's POV**

I woke up happily in Naruto's guest room two days later, with the sunlight shining in from the window.

"Man, I feel GREAT today!" I said. Rich came in the door after hearing my statement.

"You better be. I've already been training with Kakashi for a couple hours, and I'm pretty good." He said. My eyes widened.

"What?" I cried out.

"Yeah, it's 2:00 already." Rich told me. I jumped straight out of bed and changed every single piece of clothing I had.

"Uh, you should've waited for me to get out before you changed." Rich commented.

"I don't really care if you see my penis right now. You probably like what you see, anyways." I said quickly. He nearly barfed at that statement. I ran out the door and zoomed to the training ground where Kakashi was.

"You're late." He said jokingly.

"I don't give a shit. I had a really good sleep." I said. Rich came about five minutes later.

"Damn, you're fast." Rich said while panting. Kakashi cleared his throat.

"Aaron, I'll need you to spar with me." I cracked my knuckles.

"Bring it on, perv." I said with a grin. We both stood apart, and Rich said,

"Do it!" I immediately put my hands in a seal, and said,

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" 11 other me's appeared around me. 6 of us, including me, did the hand signs for either the Raikiri or Chidori, and charged him. The other 6 made the hand signs for the Beast Wave Palm. The 6 me's who did the Raikiri or Chidori all moved around, surrounding him in a hexagon formation. The other six also surrounded him, and prepared to do the Beast Wave Palm. Me and 5 others jumped high up in the air as the other six did the Beast Wave Palm. Kakashi obviously dodged into the air, falling right into my trap. We all leaped forward one by one, trying to strike him. He destroyed the five Kage Bunshins, and tried to attack me. I moved out of the way, and we both landed on the ground.

"Oh yeah, I just remembered to tell you this, but Naruto found out what the ending of the next Icha Icha is gonna be, and he told me." I said. Kakashi's eyes widened.

"It's—" He covered his ears, and closed his eyes. I took that chance to charge up another Chidori, and raced towards him. I held it near his head. He slowly opened his eyes, and took his hands off of his ears to see a Chidori right in front of his face.

"I win." I said while smirking. Kakashi raised his hands up in defeat.

"I concede—" He quickly grabbed a shuriken and flung it at me. I flipped backwards, and leaped away. I made an angry face.

"I HAD ALREADY WON!" I shouted. He grinned. (Or at least, I think he did)

"It's not over until—" I felt something well up inside of me.

"I'M A FIRIN' MY LASER!" I shouted. I stretched my mouth as wide as I could and fired a blue beam of energy out of it, shouting,

"BWWWWAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!" Kakashi's eyes widened, and he leaped far out of the way. The entire laser beam decimated about 10 meters of land in front of me. (heh, get the joke?)

"What the hell?" Kakashi cried out.

"I honestly have no freaking idea where that came from." I assured him. Suddenly, another me came from behind, and chopped both of his arms at the elbow, making sure he couldn't use them.

"What the?" He cried out. The other me knocked him down, and I said,

"You won't be able to use your arms for another three minutes." I told him. He sighed, and said,

"You win." I pumped my fist in the air. I dispelled my Kage Bunshin, and helped him up. I applied pressure to a certain place on each of his arms, and said,

"You can use your arms now. I'm not gonna keep you from reading your Icha Icha." I told him. He eye-smiled.

"You know, with the way you moved, I'd say you're at mid-Chunin in terms of abilities and strategizing." Kakashi told me. I pumped my fist again.

"By the way, what was that thing you did?" Kakashi asked me. I shrugged.

"I don't know. I just saw it on a video on Youtube. Maybe I had accidentally activated my Sharingan when I saw it." I said.

"Youtube?"

"It's this website where you can watch videos that are funny, sad, happy, or socially important. A website is this place on a computer that has stuff you can do. A computer is this electronic device that you do stuff on." I explained. He still looked confused, but shrugged.

"So anyways—" Kakashi couldn't finish because a messenger hawk came down with a scroll. He took the scroll and read it out loud.

_Hiroshi Uchiha, Rishi Uzumaki, and Maya Hyuga, your presence is requested by the Godaime Hokage for a C-Rank mission. Please report to the Hokage's office at once._

I shrugged.

"I guess we'll train more later." I said. Kakashi nodded, and we went to get May. We arrived at the Hyuga compound and I knocked on the door. Once again, Hiashi showed up, this time with a smile.

"Hello Hiroshi. Is everything alright?" He asked.

"We need Maya to come with us to the Hokage's office. We're receiving a C-Rank mission." I told him. He nodded and called for May. She came up happily, and said,

"Hey guys!" I smiled at her.

"We're getting our first mission. C'mon." I said. She nodded, waved goodbye to her dad, and we walked to the Hokage's office.

"Hello, Hokage-sama." I said. Tsunade smiled.

"Hello Aaron." My friends both bowed respectfully.

"I have a mission for you. There have been reports of random landslides in the land of Rivers, near Tanigakure, for the past three days. I would like you three to go investigate, and if possible, stop them from happening again." Tsunade told us.

"Will do!" I replied. She nodded.

"You may leave whenever you wish today." Tsunade said. All three of us bowed, and we left. We got some medicine, some food, and bought some shuriken and kunai. All three of us met up at the gate, ready to go, when Kakashi came up.

"Hey." He said.

"What's up?" May asked.

"The Hokage assigned me to go with you guys so nothing happens to the last _good_ Uchiha, one of the last of the Uzumaki, and the Hyuga clan heir." Kakashi told us. I shrugged.

"Whatever. Now let's get going!" I said. We all started walking to the land of Rivers.

**6 Hours Later**

We were all incredibly tired from walking for the past six hours.

"Ughh, my legs feel like crap!" I exclaimed. May and Rich groaned in agreement. Finally, we came to Tanigakure, and found a tavern. A woman was sitting up at the front desk. I walked over to her.

"Four rooms please." I said. She told me the price was 300 Ryu, so I shrugged and paid her. We all walked up to our rooms, and I plopped down on my bed. I just closed my eyes, and let all my troubles melt away. I was shook awake by May. It was nighttime.

"Huh? What's up?" I asked her.

"We're starting patrols. C'mon." She said. I got off my bed and walked outside the building with her. Kakashi and Rich were waiting there.

"We all should split up and search for what's causing the landslides. If you come across any trouble, call for backup." Kakashi said. We all saluted, and went out into the nearest forest. I was walking by a tree when I looked up at the stars. I decided to sit down for a second. So I sat at the trunk of a tree.

**Normal POV**

**Akatsuki Base**

"Deidara, there have been landslides appearing all around our base. Send out spy birds to check if anyone is causing them." Pein said. Deidara nodded, and made six spy birds out of clay. He sent them out of the entrance of the cave and into the forest.

"There, un." He said. Pein nodded. All the birds spread out in different directions.

**The Forest**

**Aaron's POV**

I was still looking at the stars, just staring. Suddenly, I felt like singing. So I opened my mouth, and started to sing.

_I __close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone__  
><em>_All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity_

_Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind_

_Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea__  
><em>_All we do, crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see_

_Dust in the wind, All we are is dust in the wind_

_Don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky__  
><em>_It slips away, all your money won't another minute buy_

_Dust in the wind, All we are is dust in the wind__  
><em>

**Normal POV**

All the Akatsuki members were watching a giant screen to see what the birds could find. So far, the spy birds had found nothing. One of the birds turned a corner, and they could see Aaron sitting at the bottom of a tree.

"Isn't that the guy who found us when we were birds?" Kisame asked.

"I believe so." Pein replied. Suddenly, Aaron opened his mouth. Everyone watched him closely.

_I __close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone__  
><em>_All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity_

_Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind__  
><em>

_Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea__  
><em>_All we do, crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see_

_Dust in the wind, All we are is dust in the wind_

_Don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky__  
><em>_It slips away, all your money won't another minute buy_

_Dust in the wind, All we are is dust in the wind_

They were all stunned for a few moments.

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn…" Was all Hidan could say.

"That was amazing…" Pein said.

"How did he end up in our world?" Kisame asked.

"I think when we all fell into that hole, we were all transported to our world, including him and his friends." Pein replied. Everyone shrugged.

**Aaron's POV**

Right after I finished singing, I could faintly hear Hidan's voice saying,

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn…" I looked around for a second. Nobody was there. There was only a little bird. I shrugged, and started patrolling again. Suddenly, the ground started shaking wildly. I heard rumbling noises, and looked up a hill. There were huge boulders tumbling down the side of the hill. I jumped out of the way as they came down.

**Normal POV**

"Deidara, go help him. I'm allowing you to use your bombs." Pein said.

"Sweet, un!" Deidara said. He ran out of the cave and onto the side of the hill. There he saw Aaron standing at the bottom, with rocks falling towards him. Deidara threw three clay bombs down into the mix of boulders, and shouted,

"Katsu!"

**Aaron's POV**

I had tried to jump out of the way of the boulders, but they somehow changed course and were now falling towards me. I didn't have time to jump. So I held my arms up, trying to protect myself. Suddenly, I heard someone say,

"Katsu!" And heard a loud explosion. I watched as the boulders exploded into dust. I could recognize that kind of situation anywhere. I saw Deidara leap down and land in front of me.

"'Sup 'Dara?" I asked.

"Nothing much, un. We were looking for the cause of these stupid landslides with spy birds when we saw you singing. That was pretty good, yeah." Deidara said. I grinned.

"Yeah, it was, wasn't it?" I said.

"Aaron, you okay?" Rich asked as he came up to me.

"Yeah, Deidara saved me." I told him. Deidara looked like he was listening to something in his mind.

"What's up, Deidara?" I asked.

"Leader wants to know if you guys want to stay with us. He wants to be nice since you guys were nice to us, un." Deidara told me.

"How about in three days, you come meet us somewhere and we'll let you know." I said. He shrugged.

"Whatever, un. Where should we meet up?" Deidara asked. I thought for a moment.

"How about the forest outside of Konoha?" I asked. Deidara shrugged.

"Do you have a map?" I asked him. He pulled a medium-sized map out of his cloak. I looked around on it for a second. I found a small lake right near the west side. I pointed to it.

"There. That's where we'll meet. Send Zetsu and Tobi." I said. Deidara nodded.

"I'll tell Leader, yeah." He said. With that he went back up to the cave, but we didn't know it. Kakashi and May came running over to where Rich and I were.

"You alright?" Kakashi asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, there was just a landslide." I told him.

"I think we should go investigate." Kakashi said.

"I'll go alone." I said. Everyone looked at me.

"I can probably handle whatever's causing the landslides." I told them. Kakashi shrugged.

"Go ahead." He told me. I started hopping up the side of the hill, easily getting all the way to the top. There I saw nothing. I walked forward, and the top of the hill suddenly became enclosed in a barrier of purple energy.

"Thaaaat figures." I said. A guy who resembled a giant pig demon thing came out of the ground.

"Finally, you shall die, for if you cannot save Princess Zelda, you cannot save anyone!" It exclaimed.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Who the hell's Princess Zelda?" I told it.

"How do you not know who Zelda is? You were trying to save her for countless years, Link!" It said.

"My name's Aaron, not Link, you idiot!" I replied. It stopped with a dumb look on its face.

"I'm sorry, did you say Aaron?" It asked in a dignified British voice. I nodded. It put on reading glasses and got out a clipboard with a sheet of paper on it.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I'm looking for a Mr. Link of Hyrule." It told me. I looked to the side for no apparent reason and saw a huge castle far away, and I could just make out a blond kid in green clothing.

"I think he's over there." I said as I pointed to the castle. He nodded, and said,

"Thank you." Then he leaped all the way over there in a single bound, and the barrier disappeared. I walked back down the hill and found everyone else waiting.

"What happened?" Kakashi asked.

"Apparently, a giant pig demon monster dude was causing the landslides, waiting for someone named Link to try to kill him, and save some chick named Zelda." I told them. All three of them cocked their heads in a "Whaaaaaat?"fashion.

"Why do I get the feeling I was just part of a video game?" I asked. Everyone shrugged.

"Well, now the landslides are stopped, so our mission was a success." I said. We cheered and started to trek back to Konoha.

**The Next Day**

It was already nighttime as we were relaxing at Naruto's house. There was a knock at the door. I opened it and found Kakashi there.

"Hey." I said.

"Hey." He replied back.

"What's up?"

"I was thinking since you guys did so well on your first mission, and the fact that it was a C-Rank, we should have a karaoke night. This wasn't my idea; it was actually suggested by Anko." He told me. I shrugged.

"Okay. Let me get May and Rich." I said. I went back inside and got Rich.

'We're having a karaoke night. "I told him. He shrugged like me. We both walked with Kakashi to the Hyuga compound. I knocked on the door, and Hiashi answered.

"I assume you're here for Maya?" He asked. I nodded.

"We're having a fun night." I told him. He eyed me suspiciously.

"Not _that_ kind of fun. We're going to do karaoke." I told him. His smile came back and he called for May. Once I told her what we were doing, we were off. We came to a club that was crowded with people. Kakashi led us to a table which had the other Jounin.

"'Sup?" I said. The Jounin replied with many "not much"'s. Anko got next to me, and said,

"Try some karaoke, or I'll lick your blood clean." Jokingly.

"I'll lick _you_ clean, if you know what I'm sayin'." I replied. She blushed, and sat back. But I shrugged.

"Eh, I'll give it a try. But I'll need my best friends with me." I stated. They both stood up with me, and we walked to the stage. I grabbed a mic and got everyone's attention.

"This is my first time doing karaoke and all I'm gonna say is I'll give it my best shot." I told everyone. I whispered the song we were gonna do to my friends and the DJ, and the music started.

_What is love?_

_Oh baby don't hurt me_

_Don't hurt me no more._

_Oh baby don't hurt me_

_Don't hurt me no more._

_What is love?_

_Yeah_

_Oh, I don't know why you're not there.__  
><em>_I give you my love, but you don't care.__  
><em>_So what is right and what is wrong?__  
><em>_Gimme a sign__._

_What is love__  
><em>_Oh baby, don't hurt me__  
><em>_Don't hurt me no more__  
><em>_What is love__  
><em>_Oh baby, don't hurt me__  
><em>_Don't hurt me no more_

_Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh_

_Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh_

_Oh, I don't know what I can do_

_What else can I say? It's up to you_

_I know we're one, just me and you_

_I can't go on_

_What is love?_

_Oh baby, don't hurt me__  
><em>_Don't hurt me no more__  
><em>_What is love__  
><em>_Oh baby, don't hurt me__  
><em>_Don't hurt me no more_

_Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh__  
><em>_Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh_

_What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh__  
><em>_What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh_

_What is love__  
><em>_Oh baby, don't hurt me__  
><em>_Don't hurt me no more_

_Don't hurt me__  
><em>_Don't hurt me_

_I want no other, no other lover__  
><em>_This is your life, our time__  
><em>_When we are together, I need you forever__  
><em>_Is it love_

_What is love__  
><em>_Oh baby, don't hurt me__  
><em>_Don't hurt me no more__  
><em>_What is love__  
><em>_Oh baby, don't hurt me__  
><em>_Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)_

_What is love__  
><em>_Oh baby, don't hurt me__  
><em>_Don't hurt me no more__  
><em>_What is love__  
><em>_Oh baby, don't hurt me__  
><em>_Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)_

_What is love?_

I sang. May and Rich were backup. Everyone in the club was silent for a few moments, stunned by what I just did. Then they all burst into wild cheering, and I even got a standing ovation. I tried to walk back to my seat, but everyone kept chanting

"More! More! More! More!" over and over. I shrugged and said,

"Alright, I'll do more." Everyone cheered loudly. I told the DJ the next song and told my friends I was gonna do this alone. They shrugged and sat back down. The music for the next one started playing.

_Risin' up, back on the street__  
><em>_Did my time, took my chances__  
><em>_Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet__  
><em>_Just a man and his will to survive_

_So many times, it happens too fast__  
><em>_You change your passion for glory__  
><em>_Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past__  
><em>_You must fight just to keep them alive_

_It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight__  
><em>_Risin' up to the challenge of our rival__  
><em>_And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night__  
><em>_And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger_

_Face to face, out in the heat__  
><em>_Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry__  
><em>_They stack the odds 'til we take to the street__  
><em>_For we kill with the skill to survive_

_It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight__  
><em>_Risin' up to the challenge of our rival__  
><em>_And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night__  
><em>_And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger_

_Risin' up, straight to the top__  
><em>_Have the guts, got the glory__  
><em>_Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop__  
><em>_Just a man and his will to survive_

_It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight__  
><em>_Risin' up to the challenge of our rival__  
><em>_And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night__  
><em>_And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger_

_The eye of the tiger..._

_Eye of the tiger..._

_Eye of the tiger..._

Everyone cheered wildly, and shouted for an encore.

"All right, one last song." I told them. I told the DJ what song I wanted.

"This song is for Anko Mitarashi, a girl who can really kick Fate's ass." I said.

**Heaven**

"Hey!" Fate cried out. (You may recognize him from Chapter 12 of my story the Blazing Dragon) Luck came up and said,

"She kinda has." Fate pouted in anger.

**Earth**

Anko blushed. I went over to the DJ and told him my last song.

_Oh, her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining__  
><em>_Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying__  
><em>_She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day_

_Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me__  
><em>_And it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see__  
><em>_But every time she asks me do I look ok, I say_

_When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change__  
><em>_Cause you're amazing, just the way you are__  
><em>_And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while__  
><em>_Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are (yeah)_

_Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she let me__  
><em>_Her laugh, her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy__  
><em>_She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day_

_Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change__  
><em>_If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same__  
><em>_So, don't even bother asking if you look ok__  
><em>_You know I'll say_

_When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change__  
><em>_Cause you're amazing, just the way you are__  
><em>_And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while__  
><em>_Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are__  
><em>_The way you are, the way you are__  
><em>_Girl you're amazing, just the way you are_

_When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change__  
><em>_Cause you're amazing, just the way you are__  
><em>_And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while__  
><em>_Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are. Yeah_

Everyone once more cheered as loud as they could. I pointed to Anko when it said the word "you" throughout the song. Her blush turned a dark red. I put the mic back and walked over to the table where everyone else was. Anko was smirking at me.

"You'd kiss me if I'd let you, huh?" She asked jokingly. I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly.

"Yeah, well—" I couldn't finish because she kissed me straight on the lips. Kurenai, Asuma, and Kakashi's jaws all dropped—making Kakashi's mask break—as did the jaws of everyone else in the club. Only Gai didn't let his mandible hit the floor. He simply shouted,

"YOSH!" After Anko pulled out of the kiss, someone WHOOO'd me, and everyone cheered. I just sat back in the booth, with Anko leaning on my chest. After listening to my friends sing for about thirty minutes, and using the Sharingan to knock out people who were trying to hit on May when she didn't want them to, we walked out of the club. I kissed Anko goodbye, and we all went to our separate houses. There I fell into blissful slumber once more.

**You liked it, neh? Chapter six will come out soon! Keep reading until then. Also, here are the names of the songs I used.**

**Dust in the Wind**

**What is Love-Haddaway**

**Eye of the Tiger-Survivor**

**The Way You Are-Bruno Mars**


	6. We train hard

**Here is Chapter 6! I also would like to send a message out to Kay-baka'chan:**

**I am glad my story brightened up your day. It always makes me proud and happy to see my work affect someone.**

**Me: I'M A FIRIN MAH LAZOR! BWAAAGHHHHHH! *burns Inner***

**Inner: You...motherfucking...DICK! *chases me around***

**Me: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! *runs around in circles with Inner chasing* Wait a minute. I beat him before...So...*stops running and charges up raikiri* DIE BITCH! *chases Inner* Keep readin', there's nothin' to see here.**

**Aaron's POV**

**Three days later**

It was the day Rich, May, and I were supposed to meet Zetsu and Tobi in the forest. We had become quite content with Konoha, and were happy staying there. I had officially become the boyfriend of one Anko Mitarashi, who liked my spunk. Every time she said that and Jiraiya or Kakashi was near, I would wait three seconds, and they would either make a lecherous chuckle, or have a minor nosebleed, to which I would threaten to go Raikiri on their ass. Then they would run away. I went straight to the Hokage after waking up at 9:00AM.

"Tsunade-sama, may Rich, May and I go into the forest for a practice session on some jutsu I have come up with?" I asked her. She shrugged. It couldn't hurt.

"Request granted. Go whenever you like." She said with a smile. I bowed, said thank you, and went to get Rich and May. The request was half the truth, and half a lie. I had thought of some new techniques, such as one where you perform a Raikiri, but you shoot it out of two fingers like a lightning bolt, and another where you channel the energy to your mouth and fire a beam of lightning energy.

"We're going on a personal training mission." I said to May and Rich. Then I leaned in closer.

"Also to talk to Zetsu and Tobi." I whispered. They both nodded. We packed up some gear and left for the small lake inside the forest. When we got to it, Zetsu and Tobi weren't there, so I decided to practice my techniques. I told Rich and May to stand back. I started focusing my lightning chakra into my lungs, and then to my mouth. I opened it wide, and could feel heat gathering up in it. Slowly, yellow crackling energy started welling up. I let it pent up fully, and forced it to shoot out.

"BWAAAGH!" I shouted as a yellow laser burst out of my mouth, destroying a lot of trees, and grilling some fish. Rich and May watched in awe as the laser burned the grass to a rough crisp.

"Holy..." Rich said. Suddenly, I heard a voice.

"Tobi wonders who did that. It almost hit Tobi." I heard Tobi's voice say. Tobi and Zetsu walked in through the cleared trees.

"Hey Tobi. Hey Zetsu." I said to them. Zetsu waved hi, and Tobi hugged me.

"Hi!" Tobi said.

"So have you made a decision?" Zetsu asked. I nodded.

"Sorry if Leader doesn't like our answer, but we've decided to stay in Konoha." I told them. Zetsu shrugged.

"Ok, then." He said. I had a question.

"But could you ask Leader that if anything happens that forces us to stay somewhere, could we stay with you guys?" I asked Zetsu. He paused for a bit, looking upwards. Then he looked back at me.

"Leader said sure. We owe you guys after all." He told me. I smiled.

"Tell him we say thanks from the bottom of our hearts." I told him. He nodded, and started to walk away.

"Tobi will miss you!" Tobi told us as he walked away.

"We'll miss you too, Tobi." Rich said back. The two walked off into the forest, and when we couldn't see them, we resumed our training.

"You guys want to learn some techniques I came up with?" I asked Rich and May. They both nodded.

"Well, we have to test your affinities." I told them.

"Luckily, I borrowed some chakra paper from the Aburame." I stuck to pieces of chakra paper to two trees, and told them to just channel some chakra into them. Rich was first. He walked up to the paper, placed his finger on it, and channeled chakra. The paper wrinkled.

"Lightning. That's good." May was next. Her paper became damp.

"Water. That could help in fights considering water is electrically conductive." I remarked. I clapped my hands together.

"Well, I'll teach Rich about his lightning affinity, and meanwhile..." I made a shadow clone, and told it to teach May about her water affinity. Rich and I walked off to a separate area.

"Ok, the first thing I'm gonna teach you is the Chidori." I told him. He got excited. (Anyone can use Chidori, not just people with the Sharingan.) I started to show him the Chidori. I did the hand signs. Kakashi had showed me a shorter way to do it with the same hand signs as the Raikiri.

_Ox_

_Rabbit_

_Monkey_

The Chidori charged up in my hand. Rich stared at it in awe. I let it dissipate and told him to give it a try. He nodded and did the hand signs. The ball of energy slowly formed in his hand. He let it fade away, and started cheering. Next I taught him my Rairēzā (Lightning Laser) technique. You had to channel your energy from your core, up your body to your mouth, and release it. I showed him how to do it, and the he tried. He also succeeded at that. The next technique was my Raiyubiraku (Lightning Finger Bolt) jutsu. First I did the five hand signs:

_Bird_

_Tiger_

_Rabbit_

_Horse_

_Boar_

I moved my hands around with my index and middle fingers pointed out, drawing electricity from the air. It crackled around on my right hand's index and middle fingers. I pointed them up in the air, and shot the lightning into the sky. A bolt of lightning shot from my fingers, illuminating the sky. Rich watched in awe as the primal energy crackled about, shining intensely. I told him to try it. He nodded uncertainly, and performed the hand signs slowly. Then in he moved his hands about in the air, drawing in energy. He saw the energy arc on his hand. He raised his hand, and forced the energy out. His bolt of lightning was about half the size of mine, but it was rather impressive. He sat down, panting from exhaustion. I got out four sandwiches, and gave two to him, and had two for myself. We both munched happily as our energy was replenished. Then gave him a soldier pill, and gave myself two for what was about to happen. I stood up after we had consumed them.

"I have one more technique to show you." I told Rich. He gave me a "What is it?" look.

"This is my secret technique that I worked hard to master. You won't be able to use it for a certain reason. It takes a lot of chakra. That's why I took a _two_ soldier pills." I said. He stood away. I made the hand seals:

_Boar_

_Dragon_

_Monkey_

_Tiger_

_Ram_

_Ox_

_Dragon_

_Horse_

_Serpent_

I began to take a lot of my elemental chakra and mold it into a certain shape. It took a lot of concentration. When I finished molding it, in my hands was a blue, crackling chain gun.

"Holy shit!" Rich cried out. I pulled the handle of my electric chain gun, and miniature Chidoris began to fire out as the gatling chambers turned, annihilating the trunks of some trees.

"This is my Himitsu Rai Shuhō: Chidorichēngan (Secret Lightning Technique: One Thousand Birds Chain Gun)." I told him when I stopped firing.

"I can make it fire as many rounds of bullets as my chakra allows, which is a lot." He stared in amazement. I made my gun dissipate, and we walked back to the small lake. May was waiting there with my shadow clone.

"You got some new jutsu down?" I asked her. She nodded happily.

"Rich got some from my personal vault." I told her. He pumped his fist. I then clapped my hands together.

"Time to go back to Konoha and show Kakashi-sensei what I taught you guys." I said. They both nodded and we traveled back to Konoha. I walked straight into the Hokage's office.

"Hello, Aaron. Back from your trip?" Tsunade asked. I nodded.

"Where's Kakashi-sensei?" I asked. Once more the masked perv had been hiding in the shadows.

"Right here." He said. We all turned around. May and Rich were shocked, but I had expected that.

"We got some new tricks to show you." I told him.

"Then let's go." He replied. We all walked to a training ground that was unoccupied.

"Aaron first." Kakashi said. I cracked my knuckles. I did the hands signs for my Raiyubiraku. I slowly moved my hands around, gathering energy.

"Raiyubiraku!" I shouted. I pointed my fingers at him and a bolt of lightning shot out at Kakashi. His eye widened and he leaped away. I created two Kage Bunshins. They both did the hand signs for the Chidori and charged him. Meanwhile, I did the hand seals for the Rairēzā and as he jumped a few yards off the ground as my clones attacked, I fired. His eye widened hard. He pushed off of one of my clones and dodged as the laser obliterated my clones.

"How the heck did you do that?" He asked. I simply smirked and formed two clones. I had them form Chidori and stand there. Then I did the hand signs for a water jutsu.

"Violent Water Wave!" I shouted. Water shot out of my mouth and at Kakashi. It wouldn't have hurt him so he stood still, letting the water drench him. Big mistake. My two clones drew their arms back, and threw their Chidori. Kakashi's eyes widened again. He tried to dodge, but the two Chidori hit him and he was shocked hard. He fell to the ground, panting. Then he burst into smoke. Knew it. A fist launched from behind me, but I caught it and flipped Kakashi over my shoulder. Then I grabbed his arm and tossed him over to the other side of the training ground. He hit the ground hard, but got up with a slight limp. I then activated my Sharingan to make the fight more fun. He pulled his headband up to reveal a Sharingan eye.

"I've never been forced to use the Sharingan by someone who hasn't even gone to the Academy." He commented.

"Don't worry, this fight will get more surprising than you think." I said with a grin. He started doing the summoning jutsu, but I had a plan. I managed to pick up something from Naruto to help it work.

"Sexy Jutsu!" I shouted. Everyone looked at me as smoke enshrouded me. It cleared to reveal a girl version of myself, which of course looked sexy, with smoke lines around important body parts. Rich was immediately blown back by a nosebleed. Kakashi just stopped and stared. And May just covered her face in embarrassment. Then I poofed back to normal as a cloud of smoke enshrouded me again. While the cloud of smoke was covering me, I did the hand seals for my secret technique at a rapid pace. Then I shaped my lightning chakra into the shape of a chain gun. For some reason I was suddenly wearing sunglasses and a trench coat. I shrugged. The smoke cleared and everyone saw me standing there with a blue chain gun made of electricity.

"What is that?" Kakashi asked.

"Chidorichēngan, bitch." I said coolly. I pulled the electric lever and mini Chidori began shooting out at Kakashi.

"How can you—" He was cut off by a stream of Chidori hitting him and knocking him back. I took the chance and moved at him, grabbing his leg and throwing him up in the air. Then I jumped with him, getting to the same level he was. Before he could start falling, I lifted my leg, coated it in chakra and slammed it into his gut, sending him careening towards the ground. He hit the ground hard, leaving a crater 30 feet in diameter around him. I landed back down on my feet, posing in a half taijutsu, half taekwondo battle stance. He got up with a lot of wincing.

"Dang. You're not even a ninja and you beat me." Kakashi said as he got up on one leg.

"Well, I had the element of technique surprise." I said as I helped him up. His right leg was bloody and covered in dirt and stones. I cleaned it off, and said,

"We better get you to the hospital." I slung him over my shoulder and ran at full speed. Once we had gotten him in a bed and he had fallen asleep, I wanted to go on a mission. So I went to see Tsunade.

"Do you have any missions for me?" I asked her once I got to the Hokage's office. She looked through some files.

"I have one. You need to escort the blacksmith Sumeno back to Tanigakure. Since you and your two friends have proven to be quite formidable, I am making you honorary genin, and as this is a team mission and is A-Ranked. Kakashi will come along." Tsunade told us. I thanked her for the promotion, but sheepishly rubbed my head when I told her that Kakashi wouldn't be able to come.

"Why is that?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, we were sparring and I was a little bit too rough. He now has a broken leg." I answered. Her eyes widened.

"You beat Kakashi?" She asked. I nodded.

"That makes you already one of the strongest people in the Leaf. And you've only been here for about six days. That's very impressive." Tsunade said.

"Might I ask how?" Tsunade then asked.

"Well, the techniques I came up with were probably A-Ranked, I would say. I came up with one that might have killed him, seeing as how the results were, had I not restrained myself." I told her. Her jaw sat on her desk.

"Well then you three are cleared for an A-Rank." She said after moments of waiting. I bowed and headed out, bringing May and Rich to the Hokage's office to meet our client. Sumeno was medium height, with short brown hair, black eyes, and a smile almost all the time.

"You three seen pretty formidable. Thanks for accepting this mission." He said happily.

"No prob." I replied. We all walked him to the gates and took off for Tanigakure once more.

**Hope joo liked it! Chapter 7 will be out soon, and some crazy-ass s*** will happen!**


	7. The rulebook for living with Akatsuki

**Here is Chapter 7! Each chapter from now on until chapter 47 will have a rule about living with a certain group of criminally insane people. Read on!**

**Aaron's POV**

We once again arrived in Tanigakure after six hours, our legs about to fall off. We brought Sumeno back to his house, and said goodbye. Then we started walking back to Konoha, first going through the same forest where we investigated the landslides. We were walking by the same hill where I almost got crushed when the ground started shaking again.

"I thought I had stopped the landslides!" I shouted. Rich and May just shrugged. The ground began to rattle like an earthquake was happening. A much larger landslide than before came tumbling down the hill. We all tried to jump out of the way, but Rich somehow tripped and fell on the ground as the landslide reached him. He was buried in rocks as May and I screamed,

"Rich!" The landslide stopped and I began breaking the rocks with my strength, trying to find Rich. We finally came upon him at the bottom of the pile. Every part of him except his leg was alright. His leg was buried under a bunch of large boulders. I broke them all apart and we helped him get up. He tried to stand on it but he screamed in pain and fell down. May had been learning some medical ninjutsu and checked his leg.

"Oh no, this is bad." She said.

"What's bad?" I asked her worriedly.

"His leg bone is broken into seven different pieces. With my medical ninjutsu, it's gonna take about a month to heal it." She told me. I began cursing my head off, damning whatever the hell caused that landslides.

"I'm gonna go check out the top of the hill, and kill whatever the fuck's causing these landslides." I told them. May looked worried, but kept tending to Rich. I hopped up the hill as fast as I could. When I got to the top, a weird guy in tribal clothing was there.

"So the village sends a hero to stop me, eh? You shall die!" He said. I seethed. Then I felt something inside of me. Rage. Fury. I gave in to my hate, and did my secret technique, only I formed a bazooka. I held it in my hands.

"Prepare to suffer for hurting my friend!" I told the weirdo. Before I could fire, he did some weird dance and my gun disippated.

"Chakra cannot hurt me!" He said snidely. Then he cackled. I suddenly remembered that I always carried a pistol in my back pocket. I don't know why I didn't remember that before now.

"If chakra can't hurt you, then good, old-fashioned American justice will." I said coldly. I reached into my back pocket, (I was wearing jeans) and pulled out my good friend, the Glock 19. I pointed the gun at the tribal man's sacred place, his holy artifact, if you will.

"What is that contraption?" He asked. I simply unlocked the safety mechanism, closed my index finger on the trigger, and fired. The man had about a second to react before his balls were on fire. He fell to the ground, clutching his privates and screaming in pain. I walked over to him and pointed the gun at his head.

"This is what you get for hurting my friend." I told him. I pulled the trigger, and he was dead in seconds, his blood leaking on the grass. Smoke was rising from my Glock. I raised the gun to my lips and blew the smoke away. Then I walked back down to where Rich and May were, holding my handgun.

"What happened?" May asked.

"A tribal pain-in-the-ass was causing the landslides and acting like he was top shit." I told her.

"I killed him with this." I held out my Glock.

"You have a gun?" May asked. I nodded.

"Got my license two years ago. I spent a lot of time at a shooting range. Knew it would come in handy some day." I told her. She just blinked and turned back to Rich.

"Is he okay?" I asked.

"We just need to find a place to let him rest." She told me.

"We're too far from town." I said. We both thought and thought, trying to think if anyone was near here.

**Pein's POV**

They had been going about their day as usual when the entire base shook.

"For the fucking love of Jashin-sama, I thought those goddamn landslides were fucking over!" Hidan shouted. I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Deidara, send out more spy birds." I ordered. I heard Deidara making something out of clay and saw five clay birds soar from his room and out of the base. Everyone gathered in the living room to watch what the birds were seeing. A bird went up to the top of the hill. There they saw a dead tribal man clutching his balls while blood leaked out of his head.

"Ahahahahahahaha! That shithead got fucked up good! Whoever got him knows how to make even death seem funny!" Hidan said. Another bird had caught a glimpse of some people and focused on them. It was Aaron, holding some kind of contraption, and May, standing over Rich who was on the ground, with his leg ridiculously disfigured.

"Even _I_ wouldn't sacrifice that fuckin' leg!" Hidan exclaimed.

"What are they doing here?" I asked. Then I focused on their situation.

"Deidara, go get them and bring them here. Their friend needs help." I ordered. Deidara zoomed from where he was sitting and out the door.

**Aaron's POV**

We were standing over Rich, thinking of anyone that might be nearby. Suddenly a figure leaped from the side of the hill. I got in front of Rich and held my gun out.

"Identify yourself or your balls are no more." I said threateningly.

"Relax, un." The person said. I recognized their voice immediately.

"Oh, it's you Deidara. What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Leader told me to get you guys. He wanted me to bring you guys to our base, un." He told me. I shrugged and picked up Rich. All three of us hopped up the side of the hill towards some kind of giant boulder. Deidara's ring glowed and the boulder moved aside. We all walked through an entrance to find all the Akatsuki sitting in either chairs or couches in front of a giant TV.

"This is your base?" May asked. Deidara nodded.

"I brought them, Leader, un!" He announced. Everyone turned to see us standing there with Deidara.

"Hello, Aaron, how are you?" Pein asked.

"I'm good. But Rich isn't. Some tribal douche was causing landslides and Rich got injured." I replied.

"We saw that! That was motherfuckin' hilarious!" Hidan said.

"Is your friend able to help himself?" Pein asked. I shook my head no.

"Well since he can't fucking help, can I sacrifice him?" Hidan asked hopefully.

"NO!" Pein and I both shouted simultaneously at him.

"Why not?" Hidan whined. I held out my gun.

"Because, if you try, I will put two bullets to your balls, and then kill you." I said.

"You can't hurt me! I'm fucking immortal!" Hidan bragged in a singsong voice. I smirked.

"Oh, but a bullet from this baby to the brain will kill anyone almost instantly at point-blank range." I said sadisticly. I think Anko was already rubbing off on me.

"What is that thing?" Pein asked.

"It's called a gun. In the other universe, people use them to kill other people and fight in war." I told them.

"It launches what's known as a bullet." I took a bullet out from the magazine to show them.

"It's designed so it can enter things, normally someone's body parts, and pierce them easily." Everyone kept staring at the bullet. I put it back in the mag and Pein said,

"Sasori, go help Rich's friend." He moved to get up from a chair, but May said,

"I'll take care of him. He's my best friend, after all." Sasori shrugged and walked her to their infirmary, carrying Rich for her.

"Can we stay with you guys until Rich is better?" I asked Pein. He nodded and smiled.

"Sure. We do owe you for taking care of us while we were in your world, even though we're S-Rank criminals." He said.

"Thanks." I replied.

"Are there any rooms for us to sleep in? I'm fine with sleeping on the couch." I asked. Pein nodded.

"We have three rooms you and your friends can sleep in." I nodded, and he showed me the three rooms.

"Cool." We all resumed our daily lives quickly, with May checking on Rich every once in a while. Four hours after we had arrived, I went up to Itachi.

"Hey Itachi, can I speak to you in private? I asked the Uchiha. He just hn'd

"I'll take that as a yes." I said. I pulled him into an empty hallway.

"You know, I'm glad your Otouto survived the massacre. He chose a great path." I said, bringing up a touchy subject.

"Why would you be happy about the path Sasuke has chosen?" He asked angrily. I grinned.

"I never said which Otouto." I said. He turned his head to the side. Which Otouto? He turned his head back to me.

"What do you—" He never got to finish because he saw me standing there with the Sharingan, grinning at him.

"What...How...You mean..." He couldn't choose the right words.

"Hello, Otouto." I said proudly.

"You...You're alive..." He said in amazement.

"That I am." The next thing he did would have surprised everyone. The distantly cold Uchiha hugged me.

"I thought you were dead!" He exclaimed.

"Trust me, I never died. I just went to another universe." I said to him. He stopped hugging me and we went to the living room. We plopped down on a couch and I found a DVD case on the couch.

"What's this?" I asked. I picked it up and read the title out loud.

"Hot Girls in" I pronounced the next part in a dramatic voice that reminded me of Full Metal Alchemist.

"TINY MINISKIRTS!" Itachi was looking at me weird. I shrugged. Then I took the DVD out and placed it in the machine. The screen flickered to life and Itachi and I began watching.

**30 Minutes Later**

The DVD had ended. I took it out and placed it back in the case.

"That was freakin' hot." I said. Itachi nodded in amazement. Kisame then came in the room. He went wide-eyed when he saw the DVD case I was holding.

"Gimme that! It belongs to me!" He shouted.

"NO! MY PORN!" I said, clutching the porn to my chest. We began to fight in one of those dust clouds like in a cartoon. After a bit we separated. The porn lay on the ground. I held out my gun.

"Step away from the porn." I said threateningly. He raised his arms up and slowly backed away. I picked up the DVD case and backed away. I sat down on the couch and put the porn back in the DVD player. I was five minutes in when Kisame pushed me off the couch and onto the floor. Konan decided to come in right then and Itachi had already left during the fighting. Konan saw him watching the porn and started beating the poop out of him. I just walked to my room and fell asleep.

Here is the first rule I will tell you for when you're living with the Akatsuki for a while:

**Rule 1: If you're gonna fight with Kisame over porn, make sure to let yourself get knocked away when Konan comes in the room. Justice will be served…MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**I HAVE A GUN AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!**


	8. It all begins

**Here is Chapter 8! The main storyline begins here! Also, to Kay-baka'chan:**

**I'm glad yet another part of my work made your day again! I'M SO HAPPY! *anime tears flow down from my eyes***

**Inner:...Wuss.**

**Me: *flips teh bird* Fuck you! *pulls out Glock* Imma bust a cap in yo ass!**

**Inner: Come on! *looks up at sky* You're enjoying this, aren't you?**

**-Heaven-**

**Author (God Me): Hellz yah I am!**

****Rule 2: Don't screw with Hidan unless you've got badass skills and can pwn him.****

**Aaron's POV**

I was up at 10:00, my eyes slowly focusing on the world. I trudged into the kitchen of the Akatsuki base, where a pot of the sweet nectar that made my morning, coffee, had been freshly made. I poured myself a steaming cup and put cream and sugar in it. Then I put the mug up to my lips and gratefully drank it in one sip. My eyes opened wide and I sighed as the whole world brightened up.

"Damn, that's some good stuff." I said to no one.

"I don't see how we could live without it." A voice said. I turned to my right to see Kisame standing there with a mug in his right hand.

"Hey." I simply said.

"Sorry about last night. That porn was just plain hot." I apologized. Kisame shrugged.

"It's okay. Let's just never speak of it again."

"Agreed." We both stood there, drinking our coffee.

"I wonder what we're gonna do today." Kisame said.

"I'm probably gonna come up with some jutsu or something along the lines of that." I told him. He nodded.

"Whatever." I put my mug in the sink and walked to the door.

"Where are you going, un?" Deidara asked.

"I'm going to need to send a message to Konoha about Rich." I picked up my supply backpack.

"You can't tell them about our base, yeah." Deidara said.

"You already said what I was going to say. Minus one yeah." I told him. I walked outside the cave and summoned a messenger hawk. I quickly wrote down the situation on a scroll.

_Rishi Uzumaki was injured in a landslide following the return of Sumeno the blacksmith to his home in Tanigakure. We are currently staying with friends as he recuperates. We will be back in one month when his leg is fully healed. No one is needed to be sent as he is doing fine now, and we are taking good care of him. Let Naruto Uzumaki and Hiashi and Hinata Hyuga know that their family members are alright. _

_Kindest Regards, Hiroshi Uchiha._

I put a little chibi drawing of me doing the peace sign with my right hand next to my signature. Then I sent the hawk off for Konoha. I walked back inside the base.

"I have now sent a report to Konoha saying Rich was injured." I announced. Everyone started glaring at me.

"Don't worry, I didn't tell them about you guys. I just said we're staying with friends, which you are." I clarified. They calmed down.

"I'm going to go train in the forest." I told Pein. He nodded and I exited the cave. I walked a ways away from the cave and thought for a moment.

'I wonder if I'll ever get a summon.' I thought. Then I got an idea. I could try making my own summon. It was worth a shot. I bit my thumb, did the tiger hand seal, and held my hands like I was holding a shotgun or something along those lines.

**Short Intermission**

**Inner: What lines?**

**Me: Who the fuck let you out now?**

**Inner: I let myself out. Your mind is like a mousetrap. It's too simple.**

**Me: Fuck you! Chidorichēngan! *Fires like a bazillion rounds at Inner***

**Inner: SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! *tries to run away but about 100 Chidoris hit him* Fuck...you... *gets back in my mind***

**Me: Back to the story.**

Smoke plumed around me. When it cleared I was holding an LSAT machine gun, I had army paint and camouflage on, I had three mags and two Barettas strapped to my waist, and I had an M249 machine gun strapped to my back.

"Whoa...How the hell did I do that?" I asked no one. I sent away my guns and tried it again, but with the bird hand seal. I still had the army paint and camouflage, but I now had an FN MAG with an ammunition belt, a switchblade that was strapped to my left leg, and an extra ammo belt strapped to me.

"That's weird. The weapons change with each hand seal." I commented. I spent the next ten minutes trying out each hand seal, and seeing the guns I would get. With the dog seal, I got an MG4, a Desert Eagle handgun, and sniper rifle strapped to my back. That was my favorite, along with the tiger seal guns. I suddenly heard voices, and went to check it out. I got to a bush and peaked out of it. I saw about 6 wolves who wore vests talking like humans to each other.

"Did I eat those weird mushrooms again?" I asked myself. I sent away my equipment and walked out.

"Um, can someone tell me why you wolves are taking like people?" I asked the wolves. They all turned to face me.

"We are summons." A black wolf with yellow eyes that was the size of a house said with a gruff voice.

"Oh. That makes sense." I said. The one with the gruff voice walked over to me. He seemed to study me for a moment.

"You seem strong. Would you like to sign our summoning contract?" He asked me. I shrugged.

"Sure." I said. One of them brought me a large scroll. I bit my thumb and signed the contract with my blood.

"You are now the holder of the wolf contract." The wolf with the gruff voice said. He then proceeded to introduce me to all of the summons.

"I am Tasogare (Twilight). I am the boss summon." He said. Tasogare had yellow rings on his body and a red vest with the kanji for death on the back. He led me to a wolf about half my size that was tan with blue eyes and blue markings all over his body, and was wearing a yellow vest with the kanji for tactics on the back.

"That is Senryaku-ka (Strategist). He is a strategist and deals in making plans. He loves pulling pranks on people, so he is also sometimes summoned for that." Suna nodded at me with a grin. Tasogare then led me to one that was snow white with black flame-like markings running down his back and legs.

"This is Kumo. He is tracker, and also what you would call a hunter, but can fight if needed. Kumo can launch hairs from his fur like senbon. He too loves pranks." Kumo had a grey vest with the kanji for on the back. Kumo grinned, showing his fangs and I nodded. Tasogare led me to one that was green with grey patterns that looked like leaves on him.

"This is Aki (Autumn). She is another tracker, though she can be helpful in battle. She is protective of friends and very kind." Aki had a dark green vest with the kanji for forest on the back. She smiled at me and I smiled right back. I was then led to a wolf that was black with dark purple eyes.

"This is Kage. He is used for infiltration and assassination. Kage can cover his fangs with venom at will for assassinating a target. He will protect anyone he deems his friend." Tasogare said. He had a slate grey vest with the kanji for silent on the back. Kage stared at me emotionlessly. The last wolf was pink with sea blue eyes.

"This is Utsukushii (Beautiful). She deals in diversions and assassination. Utsukushii can henge herself into a woman that will distract foes, and then can kill them like Kage, using venom she can cover her teeth with at will." Utsukushii smiled and nodded, and I smiled back. She had a purple vest with the kanji for distract on the back.

"So why are you here? Don't you live in the summon realm?" I asked Tasogare.

"We do, but we also have many training grounds set up in this world." He told me. I made an "Ohhhh" expression.

"Well, thank you for letting me sign your summoning contract." I said. Tasogare nodded with a smile. I got Kumo to come with me to in front of the base.

"Can I ride on top of you?" I asked Kumo. He nodded. I wanted to make an entrance the Akatsuki wouldn't forget, so I thought about my technique. What if I did two hand seals? I bit my thumb, did the tiger and dog seals, held my hands out like I was holding a gun in each hand, and smoke covered me. It lifted to reveal me standing there with two LSATs, a bandana on my head, camouflage, an FN MAG strapped to my back, three hand grenades strapped to my waist, two Walther P99s in holsters, a bulletproof vest, and combat boots. I hopped on Kumo and we burst into the hideout. I shouted

"What up, motherfuckers?" effectively scaring the shit out of everyone.

"Don't scare us like that!" Kakuzu shouted.

"Wait. Aaron, is that you?" May asked.

"In all my glory." I replied.

"How do you have so many guns?" She asked me.

"I created my own gun summoning technique." I told everyone proudly.

"Why are you riding a wolf, un?" Deidara asked.

"He's one of my summons." I told them.

"You got a summoning contract?" Kisame asked.

"Sure as hell!" Everyone took a moment to soak everything I said in. The first person to speak was Hidan, and he asked

"Can you show me how to pull off that shit?" I shook my head no.

"You're already enough of a psychopath." I said. He growled and raised his scythe.

"I will fucking sacrifice you if you don't, you piece of shit!" He yelled at me.

"You won't be able to sacrifice me if you're dead. I have 1728 sets of weapons (**A/N: 12 hand signs, can use up to 12 combinations of 12 for summoning, 12 x 12 x 12 is 1728, people.**) with which to make your death unbearable. I would advise against it." He kept growling so I held both LSATs pointed at him. Hidan stopped growling and I brought my arms down.

"That's better." I said. Suddenly Pein came rushing out from his office.

"Everyone. Meeting. Now." He said quickly. He rushed into the meeting room as fast as he came. We all walked quickly to the room. When we all got settled, Pein started.

"I have something important to tell you all." He began.

**CLIFFHANGER NO JUTSU! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM KYUUBI, HEAR ME ROAR! MEOW! I AM EVIL! BOW DOWN BEFORE THE HOLY GOD OF PENGUINS AND MAGICAL LEPRECHAUN BROWNIES! *clears throat* Chapter 9 will be out soon.**

**Also, Kay-baka'chan: I wuv you too. :3**


	9. We don't fuck around

**I'm so sorry I had Chapter 9 of The Blazing Dragon in this. I honestly don't know what the hell happened. So sorry. Anyways, here is Chapter 9! The real one!**

**Rule 3: Make sure you know how to kick some ass.**

**Aaron's POV**

We were all gathered in the Meeting Room.

"I have something important to tell you." Pein began.

"It seems that Orochimaru is marching here with an army of about 50,000 undead shinobi, which I don't know how the hell he can do that, being led by Itachi's brother, Sasuke," Both Itachi and I's eyes widened simultaneously.

"To capture Rich and make him turn to Orochimaru's side. I don't know why he would want Rich, though." Pein told us. Everyone looked at me.

"Well, everyone —excluding May and I— doesn't know this, but...Rich is Naruto Uzumaki's brother." I told them. Everyone—excluding May—'s jaws hit their tables.

"So you knew that, but didn't tell us?" Kisame asked.

"Well, I found out just before coming here, and I was waiting for the right time." I explained.

"Oh."

"Well, now we know why he's headed here. We're going to have to fight them." Pein said. I pumped my fist.

"HELLZ YAH! #3 on my list of 10 things to do before I get married; fight a shitload of zombies, check!" I exclaimed. Everyone was looking at me weirdly.

"What? It's a genuine list. This was the only thing I thought I would never be able to do!" I said.

"Well, that and have fun pranking the crap out of a Walmart." Silence...

"What's a Walmart?" Kisame asked.

"I'll tell you if we live." I said. Then I bit my thumb and proceeded to do my gun summoning. After countless summonings, everyone was fitted with machine guns, handguns, knives, hand grenades, and combat armor.

"You guys ready to kick some undead ass?" I shouted. All the guys except for Pein and Itachi cheered. Everyone but Pein, Konan, May, Tobi (I don't know why), Itachi, and myself, of course, charged out of the room.

"We forgot to give you guys something important." Pein said. He walked over to me and held out his head, revealing a yellow Akatsuki ring.

"Sweet." I said.

"We can all communicate with each other telepathically through our rings." Pein told me. He walked over to May and gave her an orange one. I nodded, and shouted,

"Let's move out!" We ran out of the room and in front of the base. Before Tobi could get out of the room, I stopped him.

"By the way, Tobi, May, Rich, and I know your secret. But we won't tell." I told Tobi. He nodded and spoke in his Madara voice.

"Thank you." He said. Then he turned back into Tobi.

"Tobi is ready!" He shouted. We all took up different positions around the base. Kisame, Hidan, Deidara, and Kakuzu were the first line of defense. They were about 20 miles out. Kakuzu and Kisame were lookouts as well, so they were positioned in front of Hidan and Deidara. Me, Tobi, Itachi, Konan and May were the second line of defense. We were positioned all around on the hill. Itachi and Konan were the lookouts of our group. Then Pein was the final defense, guarding Rich inside the base. I had my summons helping us as well.

'_Remember guys, we cannot let them get Rich. To use your guns, just turn off the safety by pulling the lever at the top._' I began. When we did this it sounded as if we were at war, using radios to communicate. I could hear multiple clicks coming from all around.

'_And then pull the trigger, which is the little curved part inside a ring, when you want to fire._' I heard a gun shot.

'_Tobi is sorry!_' Tobi said to all of us. I sweatdropped.

'_And to use the grenades you pull the pin and throw it quickly. Otherwise it explodes and you die._' I heard Hidan trying to speak and I said,

'_That includes you Hidan. Every piece of your body will get blown up and you will die._' Hidan became silent.

'_Last thing: No using jutsu unless you have run out of bullets and weaponry, need to so you can live, or are facing Sasuke._' I instructed. Everyone confirmed their ok. After thirty minutes of waiting, we heard Kisame say,

'_Here they come!_' We all got ready to fight. We could machine gun fire from all over. Suddenly, I saw a bunch of undead shinobi from almost every village coming at us.

"BRING IT ON, YOU MOTHERFUCKIN' UNDEAD SHIT!" I shouted. I summoned an NSV heavy machine gun and began firing. The bullets flew straight into the zombies and brought them down easily. I kept peppering holes into them, but more kept coming.

"Tasogare! I could use some help!" I shouted. Tasogare came running and began to beat the crap out of the undead forces. He stayed away from where I was shooting, though. The undead just kept coming. I decided to take it to the next level. I summoned a bunch of missile launching turrets and directed them to fire at the zombies. The zombies still kept coming. So I whipped out five hand grenades and pulled the pin on each at the same time. I threw them all out into the crowd of zombies, and they all blew up, disintegrating countless zombies. But the undead forces still were not slowed down.

"That's it." I said. I stopped firing for a second, just long enough to put my hands in the Kage Bunshin seal. About 400 other me's poofed to life. About 150 summoned weaponry such as machine guns, and the other 250 summoned helicopters and tanks and began to move out into and above the enemy forces. After 30 minutes of fighting, the undead had barely waned. I decided to help some more and charge my laser. I felt a massive amount of energy gather up in my mouth and my clones' mouths. We all shouted simultaneously,

"IMMA FIRIN MY LAZOR!" and began annihilating zombie shinobi with humongous lasers. The forces waned just a little.

"Fuck!" I shouted. It was time to end this. I did about 350 hand seals. I held my hands above me. This was it. A blue ball of energy slowly began to form above my hands. I started to rise up in the air. As I was ascending, the ball grew bigger and bigger. I eventually rose high above the land, with a massive ball of energy above me. It grew bigger and bigger, until it was the size of the whole forest (which was about 100 miles wide) .

'_Everyone hold them off for a few more seconds! I have a plan!_' I told them. Everyone responded with an okay. The ball built up even more, becoming gigantic in size.

'_Get to the base! NOW!_' I told them.

'_Why?_' Pein asked.

'_If you don't, you will have a 100% chance of dying. NOW MOVE IT AND PUT A SHIELD AROUND THE BASE!_' I mind-shouted. I could see everyone rushing into the base below me. In the next moment, a shield of chakra surrounded the hill.

"**SAISHŪ-TEKINA ENERUGĪ GIJITSU: SEISHIN-TEKINA SHI NO TAMA!** (Ultimate Energy Technique: Ball of Spiritual Death)" I shouted to the heavens. I threw the ball down with all my might. It flew straight down, and immediately disintegrated about 20,000 of the remaining 30,000 undead shinobi.

**Akatsuki POV**

Everyone was watching from inside the base as Aaron was up in the air, holding a gigantic ball of pure energy.

"How the hell can he do that?" Hidan asked in amazement.

"I don't know. I saw him practicing it, but the best he could get it to was the size of his head." Kisame told everyone. They watched as he shouted the name of it. Then he flung it down towards the shinobi zombies. The moment it touched them, they disintegrated.

"Holy motherfucking Jashin-praised shit!" Hidan cried out.

**Aaron's POV**

I had flung the ball down, and it immediately disintegrated 20,000 zombies. It touched the ground and exploded like a nuke. The remaining forces of Orochimaru—or should I say Pedo-Snake—'s army were blown to bits when the ball exploded. I flew back to the ground. My chakra was way low. The moment my feet touched the ground, I fell forward. May came running out.

"Aaron! Are you okay?" She asked me. I coughed.

"Yeah...Just low on chakra..." I told her. Suddenly, there was an explosion. I saw Orochimaru riding on a snake from the base, carrying Rich with him.

"Orochimaru...You bastard..." Were the last words I said before blacking out.

**Now it is fixed!**

**Inner: But you're still an ass.**

**Me: *summons a bazooka* Got anything else to say, hmm?**

**Inner: Just one thing...YOU SUCK! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Me: YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD! *Fires tons of missiles at Inner* While I try to kill him, please enjoy what the story has so far!**


	10. The real fun begins

**Here is Chapter 10! It's badass! Yes, I know it's short, but that's for a reason!**

****Rule 4: Never hurt a friend.****

**Aaron's POV**

**The Next Day**

I woke up in the infirmary.

"Oi, what the hell am I doin' here?" I asked.

"You fainted after annihilating Orochimaru's forces." A voice told me. I looked to my side to see Pein standing there.

"Nice work, by the way." He added.

"Thanks. I try." I said modestly. Then I remembered Rich had been taken. I got straight up out of bed and summoned an LSAT.

"What are doing?" Pein asked.

"I'm going to get my friend back." I said coldly.

"You're in no position to do that." Pein told me.

"Friends above all else. One of the codes I live by every day." I replied.

"If you are willing to do that, you have to know something." Pein said.

"We will be monitoring you. The moment we think you're in too deep, we will reverse summon you back here, with or without Rich." I nodded.

"Then I'll make sure it's with." I said. I walked out of the room and summoned a bunch of gear. I was wearing a bulletproof vest, camouflage, a bandana, war paint, had a gunblade in a sheath on my back, had two automatic Glock 18s in holsters around my waist, and had a dagger hidden in my shoe. I started to walk towards the entrance.

"Aaron, where do you think you're going?" May asked.

"I'm getting Rich back." I said with no emotion. I just walked out of the cave before anyone could respond. For some reason, I could feel everything around me. Not like how they sense chakra. I could _know_ what everything around me was doing. I just focused on an image of Rich in my mind. Suddenly, I knew exactly where to go. I took one step forward, and would've nearly died, but for some reason, I was floating in the air.

"What the hell?" I cried out softly. I started moving myself around in the air. I got the hang of it after a few minutes. Then I remembered the place my mind told me to go to. I moved up in the air, and soared at the speed of a sound.

**Orochimaru's Base, Otogakure**

I landed down on top of a rock formation, about a mile away from a solid rock building.

I said nothing as wind whipped around me in a climactic fashion. Then I launched myself towards the base. I arrived right in front of a solid steel door.

"Too easy." I said with a sadistic smirk. I applied a lot of chakra to my foot and kicked the door in. It bounced back against a wall. I walked inside. The place was more high-tech than I had thought. Suddenly, a siren began blaring.

"Intruder Alert. Intruder Alert." A female robotic voice announced throughout the base. About a dozen Oto-nin came running to where I was. 6 of the guards raised their arms at me in a fashion which stated they were going to blast me with something. I smirked and pulled my gunblade out a little bit from its sheath.

"This is where the real fun begins..." I said.

**BAD. ASS. I TOLD YOU SO! The next chappie will come out soon!**


	11. Aw, Come the FUCK ON!

**WHASSUP? Here is Chapter 11! The epic saga continues! Also, to Kay-baka'chan's three reviews:**

**1. I know all the weapon's names because I'm awesome like that and I looked them up on Wikipedia. I hadn't even realized the joke until I read your comment. LOL! :3 Also, I don't know why I have so little reviews. (SADNESS...)**

**2. What is happening in Chapter 9 is that Orochimaru is trying to kidnap Rich so he can have one of the last Uchiha (Sasuke) _and_ the other son of Minato Namikaze under his wing, since the Uchiha clan and Minato Namikaze were both very powerful. I GOT TO GO APE SHIT ON ZOMBIES! HELLZ YAH! :D**

**3. Rich is not a jinchuriki. (DOUBLE SADNESS...)**

_**Rule 5: Orochimaru deserves to die.**_

**_6 of the guards raised their arms at me in a fashion which stated they were going to blast me with something. I smirked and pulled my gunblade out a little bit from its sheath. _"_This is where the real fun begins..." I said._**

**Aaron's POV**

There I stood, ready to face the ninja that took my friend. Suddenly, the six guards fired blasts of air simultaneously, to which I jumped in the air, flipped, and drew my blade completely. I landed down just as their attacks dissipated. I then gave them all an evil grin. With one slash, I decapitated three of the bandits. There was 9 guards left. Then I jumped back as they fired more air blasts at where I was, hitting their comrades and taking them down. Now there was only four people left. I decided to take them down quickly, and began shooting them with my gun part of my gunblade. Now there was none left. I walked around a bit.

"Where would they keep Rich?" I asked myself.

'**They'd probably keep him locked up so Pedo-Snake could give him a curse seal. I bet he's heavily guarded.**' Inner said.

'Look who came out of hiding.' I said to Inner.

'**I've been dealing with my own priorities.**' Inner simply told me.

'Whatever. So they'd be keeping him somewhere deep in the base under heavy guard?' I asked.

'**It seems very likely.**' A small, sadistic smile crossed my lips.

'Then it's time to have some more fun.' I kept walking and came up to a forked hallway.

'Which way should I go?" I asked Inner.

'**The left.**' He told me. I shrugged and walked down the left hallway. It lead to a dead end, and 6 more Oto-nin came from behind me.

"Give up! You're surrounded!" One of them said. A smirk appeared on my face.

"I may be outnumbered, but you're outmatched." I said coolly. The guards looked confused. I charged up a lot of energy inside my mouth.

"What do you mean?" One of them asked me. I turned and faced them.

"Oh, just that I'MMA FIRIN MY LAZOR!" I shouted. A yellow laser blasted out of my mouth and disintegrated the six enemies swiftly.

"Hehehe. Too easy." I commented. I looked around. The laser hadn't decimated the hallway. I saw a security camera up in a corner and smirked.

"Come on, Orochimaru, don't you have something more challenging?" I said to the camera. An image of Orochimaru appeared in front of me.

"Ssso, you wissshhh to play a game, Hirossshhhi Uchiha? Very well. Go back down the right hallway you sssaw and to the right again when you come to a corner, and we'll play." It said. The hologram disappeared.

'_Aaron, don't get in too deep._' Pein's voice said in my mind.

'_Not a problem. I just have to get Rich and get out of here. But that doesn't mean I can't have any fun._' I told him.

'_Aaron..._' Pein warned me.

'_I annihilated 30,000 undead soldiers in 10 seconds. I'll be fine._' I said to him. He stopped. I walked all the way back to the right hallway, and continued until I saw a corner. I rounded it and stepped into a gigantic room. It looked like a coliseum.

"Hello, Hirossshhhi-kun. Are you ready to play?" Orochimaru's voice called out. I looked around and saw him sitting in an emperor's chair, like in ancient Rome.

"I'm here for my friend." I said.

"You musssst entertain me before you can ressscue your friend." Orochimaru told me.

"As long as I'm not getting in a bed with you." I said curtly.

"I have 3 challengesss for you. If you look around, you will sssee ssseven gatesss along the wallsss." I looked at the lower walls and saw seven gates around me. 1 directly across from me, two to the side of that, two more to the side of those, and the last two were to my sides.

"Why seven?" I asked.

"The third challenge is sssecret. You must beat the firssst challenge, facing enemies from six of the gates, and then the sssecond challenge a few minutesss after the firssst, facing a hard opponent. If you sssucceed in the firssst two, you will do the third. If you fail, you will die." Orochimaru said. I pulled out my gunblade.

"Bring it." He nodded and pulled a lever. Every gate but the one across from me opened. Orochimaru motioned his arm to summon forces. Shinobi began to leap out of three of the gates. They charged at me from all over. The moment the first enemy was near me, my battle instincts kicked in. He leaped at me from the ground. I reached a fist and punched him in the gut. He clutched over as he was plowed into a wall and died. The next enemies came like a flood. I was punching and kicking enemies as fast as I could. They all kept crowding me, boxing me in. They finally pushed me onto the ground and covered me. I couldn't let them win, so I began to gather a lot of energy in my mouth. I repeated a line I had heard a lot of times before:

"DR. OCTAGONAPUS!" and blasted a laser out of my mouth, shouting

"BWAAAAAAGH!" The laser enveloped the enemies that were on me, but it wasn't all of them. I got up and more enemies were coming. I needed something, FAST. Then I remembered something I saw on TV. It was a technique I had heard of, but I knew how to do it. I set my hands in front of me, and put them together at the wrist. I brought them backwards.

"KA...ME..." A ball of energy began to glow in my hands.

"HA...ME..." The ball shone bright. I pushed my hands forward and shouted

"HA!" A giant beam shot out from my hands and obliterated the remaining enemies, and also part of the stadium. I got out of a battle stance and looked at Orochimaru.

"Very good, Hirossshhhi-kun. Now for the sssecond challenge." He said. Orochimaru pulled a different lever and the gate across from me lifted up. A figure stepped out a ways away from me. It was my brother, Sasuke Uchiha.

"You! Why did you call me Otouto?" He questioned.

"I will tell you after we fight." I said calmly.

"Fight!" Orochimaru shouted. Sasuke instantly made a Chidori in his hand. I also made a Chidori.

"You also know the Chidori?" Sasuke asked me.

"Yes I do." I said. We both stood there in silence for a few moments. Then Sasuke charged at me. He began to strike at me multiple times with the Chidori. I kept moving from side to side, dodging his attacks. I kicked his head and sent him flying into a wall. He got straight back up. I immediately made the hand signs for the Raikiri.

"You know the Raikiri as well?" Sasuke asked me.

"I learned from your former sensei." I told him. He growled at the mention of Kakashi. Then he made a Chidori Eisō. It extended and nearly stabbed me, but I jumped away. He swung the Chidori Eisō and tried to cut me, but I made a blade out of my Raikiri and parried it. After pressing our blades against each other for a minute or two, we broke apart.

"Who _are_ you?" Sasuke asked me.

"I will have to tell you a back-story." I told him. Sasuke drew out his sword. I drew my gunblade. I started to talk as we kept clanging our swords together.

"As you remember, your brother Itachi was the person behind the Uchiha massacre." I began. Sasuke growled at Itachi's name.

"He killed everyone in your clan but you. Then he told you that you would need hate to kill him."

"Which I do!" Sasuke cried out.

"Then he trapped you in his Tsukiyomi, which caused you to be mentally scarred. You kept wanting revenge on him, and thought you needed power to beat him."

"I do!" Sasuke cried out again.

"You do need power. But not the power of hate." I said. We broke apart.

"What do you mean?" He asked me.

"Itachi did not kill _every_ person in the Uchiha clan. There was one person who survived." I told him.

"Who?" Sasuke asked angrily.

"Your older brother." I said.

"I know Itachi did not kill himself!" Sasuke said like I was dumb.

"Not that older brother. You have another; Itachi's twin in fact." I said.

"So who is he?" Sasuke pressed.

"Me." I said. Sasuke just stared at me for a bit.

"You lie!" He shouted. He started to charge at me, but I activated my Sharingan and he stopped.

"What...How?"

"I am your older brother."

"How did you survive?" Sasuke asked.

"I was never there when the massacre happened. I was in a different universe."

"A different universe?" I nodded.

"I was 2 years old. Me and my two best friends, who are the older siblings of Hinata Hyuga and your best friend Naruto Uzumaki, were playing in the forest. We apparently fell down some kind of inter-dimensional hole, and we grew up in another dimension, not knowing our families were, well, our families." I told Sasuke.

"So, you are my other older brother?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes, I am." Tear grew in his eyes.

"I must get Itachi back when I find him." Sasuke said after wiping his tears. I shook my head no.

"No, you don't. Revenge is not the answer." I told him.

"Why not?"

"Do you wish to know why Itachi killed our clan?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Itachi commited the massacre because he was ordered to by the Elders. Our entire clan was plotting against Konoha, and they had to stop it. So he did it because he was loyal to his village, just as you should be." I told Sasuke. He grew an angry expression.

"Then I will not rest until every man, woman, and child in that city is dead." He said coldly.

"You do not need to get revenge. Do you know why Itachi spared you?" I asked. He shook his head no.

"Because his love for you was more than his loyalty to Konoha. If he hadn't commited the massacre, everyone you know, Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, and everyone but the Uchiha would be dead. Then everyone in your clan would die after a rebellion, and you would painfully tortured before you died a slow death. So do not wish for revenge against Konoha. You have to come to terms with your past. It is the past, and you cannot change it. But don't fall onto a path of revenge. Stay in the light." I told him. He was speechless.

"If you come back to Konoha with me and my friends, all your crimes will be forgotten, and you'll be accepted." I said.

"I...I..." Before Sasuke could tell me, a pair of fangs sank into the side of my neck.

"AGHH!" I cried out. The pain felt unbearable. My whole body was on fire. I fell straight to my knees, then the ground. I groaned and slipped into unconsciousness.

**Normal POV**

Orochimaru sank his fangs into Aaron's neck, forming the Cursed Seal of Heaven.

"Orochimaru! Why did you do that?" Sasuke asked. (Note he did not add the suffix –_sama_)

"Becaussse he will be a fine vesssssel, kukuku..." Orochimaru said.

**Rich's POV**

I woke up in some kind of hospital room. It was weird, mainly because it had vials and syringes everywhere.

"Where the hell am I?" I asked no one. I half-expected to get a reply. Suddenly, a siren went off, and a voice announced,

"Intruder Alert. Intruder Alert." A few minutes later I heard gunshots.

"That was wei—" Wait. Gunshots? HELLZ YAH! MAH BEST FRIEND IS HERE TO RESCUE ME! SUCK IT BITCHES! Suddenly Kabuto burst in through the door.

"You are to stay in here. If you do not we will have Orochimaru-sama punish you personally." He ordered.

"Whatever. I honestly don't give a flying fuck about your orders." I said as I waved him off. He glared but exited the room. I just whistled a melodic tune as I waited and waited.

**Aaron's POV**

I woke up with my arms and legs chained to a wall.

"Orochimaru! Where are you, you gay pedophilic bastard?" I called out. He seemed to materialize right in front of me.

"I'm right here, Hirossshhhi-kun..." He said with an evil grin.

"Don't you add that fuckin' suffix! I have no relationship with you!" I ordered.

"You're quite feisty. But soon you will belong to me..." Orochimaru said. He then licked his lips.

"Sicko." Was all I said. He was eyeing my curse seal.

"You know I'm never going to turn to your fucked-up side, right?" I asked him.

"I know you don't want to, but we can change that with your seal."

"I won't activate it." I told him firmly.

"Ah, but you don't have to. There is another method, but it is more painful. Such are the sins of everyday life." Orochimaru said. He made his fangs grow and sunk them into my neck.

"OH MY GOD! IT HURTS!" I yelled. His tainted chakra began flowing throughout my veins. Slowly, I changed. I grew sharpened claws and teeth. My skin turned a dark grey, and my eyes turned gold. Fur started to grow all over my body. My hands and feet turned somewhat like paws, but I kept my fingers. I grew a wolf's tail. Wolf ears grew out of the top of my head. My real ears disappeared. My hair changed from black to a blood red and grew like a spiky mane. Demon wings grew out of my back. My head hung limp. Orochimaru released the chains that bound me. I dropped onto my feet and held my arms out like I was about to get into battle.

"Are you alright, Hirossshhhi-kun?" Orochimaru asked. I looked at him with an evil grin.

"Never better, Orochimaru-sama."

**First off, I do not own the Kamehameha, it belongs to the creator of Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, and Dragon Ball GT. **

**Second, OH NOES! I'VE TURNED TO THE DARK SIDE! AHHHHHHHH! *runs around in circles, screaming, like Tobi when he finds out there's no Pixi Stix in the kitchen***

**Tobi: Tobi doesn't always act like that.**

**Me...Tobi...**

**Tobi: Yes, Aaron-senpai?**

**Me:...There's no Pixi Stix in the kitchen...**

**Tobi: NUUUUUU! *runs around and screams like I described***

**Me: Review! Review, or the holy god of Penguins and Magic Leprechaun Brownies will reign terror upon your lives!**

**Hidan: No! JASHIN-SAMA WILL!**

**Me: The holy god of Penguins and Magic Leprechaun Brownies can kick Jashin's ass any day!**

***Jashin mystically transports to where I am to fight me***

**Jashin: I'd like to see him try.**

***holy god of Penguins and Magic Leprechaun Brownies who looks like a penguin with a crown, a shamrock, and magical flaming deadly throwing brownies transports where I am as well***

**HGOPAMLB: *says in squeaky voice* BRING IT ON MOTHERFUCKER!**

**Hidan: *falls over laughing and clutching his sides* That's your god? OH MY JASHIN, THAT'S SO STUPID, IT'S FUCKING FUNNY!**

**Me: *glares and turns to HGOPAMLB* Kick his ass.**

**HGOPAMLB: *nods and throws throwing brownies which set Hidan on fire***

**Hidan: SHIIIIIIIIIIIT! *runs around screaming***

**Me: There's still the matter of the fact that I'VE BEEN TURNED TO THE DARK SIDE! NUUUUUUUU! Or have I? *Wiggles eyebrows in a funny way***


	12. Bob comes back and I kick ass

**WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? I WENT TO OROCHIMARU'S SIDE! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!**

_**Rule 6: Never abandon your friends.**_

_I grew sharpened claws and teeth. My skin turned a dark grey, and my eyes turned gold. Fur started to grow all over my body. My hands and feet turned somewhat like paws, but I kept my fingers. I grew a wolf's tail. Wolf ears grew out of the top of my head. My real ears disappeared. My hair changed from black to a blood red and grew like a spiky mane. Demon wings grew out of my back. My head hung limp. Orochimaru released the chains that bound me. I dropped onto my feet and held my arms out like I was about to get into battle._

"_Are you alright, Hirossshhhi-kun?" Orochimaru asked me. I looked at him with an evil grin._

"_Never better, Orochimaru-sama."_

**Rich's POV**

I was still waiting in that deranged anti-hospital room when the alarm stopped. Why'd it stop. Did they kill Aaron? Something's wrong, I know it! Oh God, Aaron, please rescue me!

**Aaron's POV**

I was walking with Orochimaru to the room where they were keeping Rich. We opened the door, and I walked in.

"Hello, Rich." I said.

"What the hell are you?" He screamed, trying to back away.

"You don't recognize me? Surely, you would remember your best friend." I said.

"Aaron? What did they do to you?" He asked me.

"Orochimaru-sama made me better." I said with a twisted grin.

"Orochimaru-SAMA? I can't believe you've gone to the dark side!" Rich shouted.

"Believe it. It's much better." I told him.

"And you're about to join soon." Orochimaru said. Rich tried to back away.

"Grab him." Orochimaru ordered. I walked over and grabbed Rich. He kept squirming, but I held tight. I carried him with both hands as we walked to the room where I was when Orochimaru changed me. As we were walking down a corridor, he asked me,

"What are you going to do to me?" I smiled an evil smile and said,

"We're going to turn you." He looked at me angrily.

"No! I won't change!" He shouted. Orochimaru stopped and looked back with a fake smile.

"You are going to be my next vessel after Sasuke-kun." He told Rich. Rich just looked horrified. We kept walking. I stopped for a moment.

"Orochimaru-sama, we forgot to test his prowess." I said. Orochimaru stopped and looked at me happily.

"Of course, my student. Let us go to the coliseum." Orochimaru said. We both walked to the stadium where I tossed Rich on the ground and locked the doors behind him. Then Orochimaru and I walked up to the emperor's seat.

"We shall now test the prowess of my soon-to-be vessel." Orochimaru announced. The gates opened and enemies poured out of them, swarming Rich. I walked over to Sasuke as Rich kept fighting off enemies while hobbling. His leg wouldn't be good for about 28 more days.

"What were you going to tell me before Orochimaru-sama bit me?" I asked him. He looked up at me in fear.

"That I am going...back to Konoha..." He said with a gulp. I smiled at him. Then I leaned in next to his ear.

"Good, because we're busting out." I whispered. He looked at me in shock.

"It's still you in there?" He asked quietly.

"All 100% Natural Aaron. No Aaron by-products or fakes." I said as if I were in a commercial for some type of meat product and the meat it was made from was called Aaron. He smiled back at me.

"Here's what we're going to do: I'm going to summon a pistol and shoot Pedo-Snake in the head." I began.

"Pedo-Snake?" He asked.

"Orochimaru, duh!" I said.

"Anyways, once that happens, I need you to take Rich and run like you're being chased by the devil." Sasuke gave me a questioning look.

"Why?" He asked me.

"Because I'm gonna blow this place apart." I told him. His eyes widened.

"Now get ready. Act like you're intently watching the fight. When I say go, you get Rich and get the hell out of here." He nodded and looked like he was watching the fight. I summoned a Glock 19 and turned the safety off quietly. I walked over behind Orochimaru who was too busy watching the fight to notice my gun.

"Orochimaru-sama?" I asked. He didn't even turn around to answer. Perfect.

"Yes, my student?" He asked. I pulled the trigger and the bullet made its way into his brain. He slumped over and fell off his chair, dead.

"Die."

**Akatsuki POV**

"I wonder how Aaron's doing?" Kisame asked. Pein shrugged.

"Let's check the screen." He said. Everyone went over and sat in front of the screen that showed what the clay bug that had attached onto Aaron's back was seeing. The bug flew off of Aaron's back, though he didn't know it, and focused on him. They could see him holding a smoking gun above the body of a pale person. The bug flew around in front of him and looked down at the body. It was Orochimaru. Everyone's jaws crashed down to the middle of the crust of whatever universe we were in.

"Did he...kill Orochimaru?" May asked. Pein just nodded, completely awestruck.

"Holy shit..." Everyone just stared.

**Aaron's POV**

I had just shot Orochimaru. I turned to face Sasuke.

"Sasuke, get him and go, NOW!" I shouted. Sasuke nodded and jumped down into the arena. He beat the shit out of some enemies and grabbed Rich. Then he ran out the door and all the way to the entrance. I could feel him out the door of the base. All the remaining enemies (40,000 bad guys) all looked up at me.

"YOU READY, MOTHERFUCKERS?" I shouted. I leaped up into the air and smashed down onto the stadium floor. I activated my Sharingan. The enemies began to charge at me. I just kept punching and kicking and trapping people in genjutsu. The enemies still kept coming, so I decided it was time to do what Deidara loves: make "art". I let out a wave of energy and it pushed all the bad guys to the wall across from me. I put my hands in front of me and put them together at the wrist. Then I brought them back.

"KA...ME..." I began. A ball of energy appeared in my hands.

"HA...ME..." The ball glowed bright.

"What's he doing?" One of the foes cried out.

**Akatsuki POV**

They were still watching Aaron. He had just beaten up about 3,000 enemies and forced the rest back into a wall. Then he put his hands out in front of him and together at the wrist. Then he pulled them back to right beside him.

They saw him say,

"KA...ME..." A ball of energy appeared in his hands. Everyone became very intrigued.

"What's that?" May asked.

"HA...ME..." The ball started shining hard. Then they heard one of the opponents ask,

"What's he doing?"

**Aaron's POV**

"HA!" I shouted. I moved my hands forward and a large beam of energy shot out from the ball in my hands. The beam hit the enemies and exploded, killing about half of them.

**Akatsuki POV**

Aaron shouted,

"HA!" and a pushed his hands outwards, sending out a blue beam energy at the Oto-nin. The beam hit them and blew up, causing Deidara to be full of joy.

"SUCH BEAUTIFUL ART, UN!" He cried out. Sasori then looked pissed and said,

"Art is eternal, brat."

"Art is fleeting."

"Eternal."

"FLEETING."

"Eternal."

"FLEETING!"

"Can you two shut up before I have to rip your balls off, shove them down your throats, make you puke them back up, and eat them?" Pein shouted. Sasori and Deidara stopped arguing and focused back on the screen.

**Aaron's POV**

"Shit!" I cried out. That hadn't gotten them. I jumped back onto the platform and looked at the spy bug.

"You might want to get the bug out of this base unless you don't want to see me blow the whole thing up." I said, speaking to Deidara.

**Akatsuki POV**

"I'm getting the bug out of there, yeah." Deidara said.

**Aaron's POV**

The bug flew out of the room and out of the base.

"Time to blow this pop stand." I said. I flew up and broke through the ceiling, up into the sky. I was about 50 meters above the base, and I saw Sasuke and Rich on the rocky pillar I had been on before going in. I nodded at them and smirked. I held my right hand up. Slowly, a ball of blue energy began to form above it. The ball grew bigger and bigger, until it was the size of Noah's Ark.

"**Ball of Spiritual Death**!" I shouted. I brought my arm down in a slicing motion and the ball flew down towards the base. It enveloped the whole thing, covering it in its radiance. The ball slowly sunk in the ground and exploded, creating multiple flashes of blue, red, orange, and yellow. Deidara would have been proud.

**Akatsuki POV**

Everyone watched as the ball flew down and blew up Orochimaru's base, creating an explosion equivalent of a hydrogen bomb mixed with a nuke. It was a sight to see.

"I'M SO PROUD OF HIM! NEVER HAVE I SEEN SUCH MAGNIFICENCE, UN!" Deidara shouted, crying tears of joy. Everyone sweatdropped.

**Aaron's POV**

The whole base was gone. Not a single Oto-nin was alive.

"That's what you get for taking my friend." I said coldly. Then I flew over to Rich and Sasuke.

"You guys alright?" I asked.

"Aaron, are you still in there?" Rich asked timidly. I laughed. Hard.

"Of course it's me! Where the hell did ya think I went?" I asked heartily.

"You were calling Orochimaru "Orochimaru-sama"." He said.

"It's called acting! DUH!" I said. I went over and grabbed Rich.

"Where are we going?"

"First, I have to go get something from my pack." I said.

"Sasuke, can you stay here for a few minutes?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Thanks." I flew off with Rich at a fast speed, quickly leaving Otogakure behind. We arrived back at the Akatsuki base in about 30 seconds. I walked up to the entrance and my ring glowed. The boulder moved aside. I switched off my curse seal and summoned a shotgun. Apparently, there was now a door behind the boulder. So I decided to have everyone give me a warm welcome. I pumped the shotgun and blasted the door open. Then I ran in.

"Honey, I'm home!" I said jokingly. Everyone turned to face me.

"Aaron!" May cried out. She ran at full speed and hugged me. Rich walked in on one foot.

"Hey everybody!" He said. May stopped hugging me and glomp-tackled him.

"I need to go do something quickly. Where's my pack?" I asked. Pein picked it up and tossed it over to me. I nodded and fished out a message scroll.

"Be right back." I walked out of the cave and flew back to where Sasuke was.

"I'm back." I said. Sasuke turned around and smiled.

"So you're going back to Konoha?" I asked him. He nodded happily.

"Well, let me just tell them that we'll meet your old teammates and sensei in Tanzaku Quarters." I said. I opened up the message scroll and wrote that Sasuke and I would meet them in Tanzaku Quarters in front of the castle in 2 hours. Then I summoned a messenger hawk and gave it the scroll. It started its trip back to Konoha.

"We better start walking." I said. We kept walking and walking all the way to Tanzaku Quarters. We arrived in front of the castle in 1 hour and 45 minutes. Then we just stood around and waited. Finally, we saw Naruto, Kakashi, and Sakura approaching.

"Hey guys!" I said. When they saw me and Sasuke, they ran up to me at full speed.

"Is Sasuke-kun really coming back?" Sakura asked loudly. I nodded. Sasuke smiled at them. Sakura immediately glomped him.

"How did you get him to change?" Kakashi asked.

"I'm sorry for breaking a law, but I told him why the massacre really happened." Kakashi's eye widened.

"I also told him that Itachi loved him, that's why he spared him, that he needed to come to terms with his past, and that I was his brother." I added.

"Well, I'm not going to get you in trouble for bringing Sasuke back." Kakashi said with an eye-smile.

"I can't believe you're finally back." Naruto said with tears in his eyes. He turned to me.

"Thank you so much. You got my friend back." Naruto said.

"Well, I think it was your friendship that was the main part of this equation." I said. Naruto gave me a confused look.

"Your friendship was the main thing that helped Sasuke turn back. I just helped. You guys deserve the credit for being friends with him." Naruto just hugged me.

"Thank you." He said quietly, surprising his friends. Quiet wasn't something that ever described Naruto.

"And don't worry, your brother's alright." I said to Naruto.

"Brother?" Sakura and Sasuke asked in unison.

"Yep. Naruto has a brother. Sasuke, you just met him. It's Rich." I said. They both gawped.

"Oh, and guess where I just came from." I told them.

"Where?" Kakashi asked.

"The late Orochimaru's now destroyed base." I said.

"Late?" Sakura asked.

"I killed him. But not before he gave me a curse seal." I told them. Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi gawped, but then Kakashi asked,

"He gave you a curse seal?" I nodded and showed him the side of my neck.

"We need to get this sealed." He said seriously.

"We actually don't. I have no desire for more power, and I will only use it if I need to." I countered. He shrugged. (A/N: **People do a lot of shrugging. Hmm...**)

"Will you be coming back soon?" Kakashi asked.

"Rich's leg still has to heal. We'll be back in about 28 more days. Make sure Anko knows that I'm alright." I told him. He nodded and they went off. When I couldn't see them anymore, I flew back to the base.

"Where were you?" May asked.

"Doing stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Personal stuff."

"..."

"Anyways, I'm going to bed." With that I walked off to my room and fell asleep.

**3 Hours Later**

"Ugh, what the fuck is that noise?" I asked no one. I started hearing music about a minute ago. I got out of bed and walked towards the living room. What I saw made me angry. Everyone was partying.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" I shouted. Everyone stopped and looked at me. They all got nervous.

"Uh, we were—" Kisame tried to explain but I cut him off.

"Why did no-one tell me about this party? I feel so left-out!" I pouted. Everyone stared.

"I'm just going to pretend I was already partying." I said. Everyone cheered and I grabbed a bottle of sake.

"Let's party!" I shouted. We all started acting like the last minute of our lives hadn't happened.

"I have an idea. Let's play truth or dare!" I announced.

"What's truth or dare?" Pein asked.

"Simple. We all are going to sit in a group. One person—whom I will choose—will start off the game by asking any one of us truth or dare. You get to choose one of those two options. If you pick truth, they get to ask you one question about anything about you; your age, your favorite food, your sexuality, etc. If you pick dare, they dare you to do one thing and you have to do it. When you have finished your dare or answered the person's question, it's your turn to ask someone else." I explained. A lot of ohhhh's came from everyone.

"Now let's play!" We all gathered in a circle and sat down.

"Now, Pein will go first since he's the Leader." I said. Pein nodded and thought.

"Kisame, truth or dare?" He asked.

"Truth."

"Are you really half shark?"

"Yes. My father was a fisherman who got stone drunk one day when he was at a pier and ended up—"

"Okay! We all already know the birds and the bees." I said before he could explain.

"Anyways, it's your turn, Kisame."

"May, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to lick Tobi's mask to see if it tastes like a lollipop." May was silent for a few moments while a lot of us snickered. Then she got up, walked over to Tobi, and licked his mask slowly.

"I bet she's enjoying it." Kisame said. I just smacked him upside the head. Tobi shivered when she was done and fell over.

"TOBI FEELS SO VIOLATED!" He said loudly.

"Sorry, Tobi." May said.

"It doesn't taste like a lollipop." She announced.

"My turn. Aaron, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Come on, don't be a wuss!" Kisame said.

"I'm not a wuss. You may have two penises, but you don't have the BALLS to beat me in a fight, so shut up." I retorted.

"You are so a wuss."

"Well, if I'm a wuss for picking truth, then so are you." That shut Kisame up.

"But fine, dare."

"I dare you to slap Hidan." I shrugged, got up, and walked over to Hidan. He got up, ready to beat the shit out of me. I just kicked him in the balls and he fell down, clutching his manly bits. I walked back to where I was sitting.

"There." I said.

"You didn't slap him."

"I upped it and created a comical effect. I believe that allows me two turns in a row."

"No it doesn't!" Hidan said while still in pain. I got back up and kicked him in the balls again. He let out a high-pitched squeal. I turned to face everyone.

"Anyone else wanna argue that statement?" I asked. No one spoke up.

"Good." I walked back to my seat and said,

"Hidan, truth or dare?"

"Go fuck yourself!" I summoned a Walther P99 and put it up to his head.

"I don't believe you heard me correctly. Truth or dare?"

"...Dare."

"I dare you to renounce Jashinism." Hidan swore so many profanities that even Jashin would have pissed his pants. Wait...Does Jashin wear pants? I don't know.

"I renounce Jashinism." He said. Suddenly, he started choking on something and began clutching where his heart was.

"Oh...shit..." He wheezed. He began to claw at his throat and then his chest.

"I...didn't...mean it..." He said hoarsely. Suddenly he stopped clawing at his chest and could breath again.

"YOU FUCKING PIECE OF" I'm going to censor the next part.

"BEEEP BEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEP! I'M GOING TO BEEEPING RIP YOUR BEEEEPY HEAD OFF AND BEEEEPING TAKE A BEEEP IN YOUR MOUTH WHILE WATCHING YOU BEEEEPING DROWN IN YOUR OWN BEEEEEP AND BLOOD, AND THEN I'M GOING TO BEEEEEEEEEEEEP YOUR BEEEEPING BEEP OF A MOTHER, AND BEEEEEPING LAUGH MANIACALLY WHILE YOU BEEEEPING SUFFER, YOU PIECE OF BEEEPING MOOOONKEY FAAARTS!" (A/N: The monkey farts was a censor XD) I just blinked and said,

"It's official. Hidan's going to hell." Hidan got out his scythe and tried to take a swing at me. I jumped back and prepared a Kamehameha. Hidan started charging at me.

"KA...ME..." I said. That blue ball of energy shone again in my hands.

"HA...ME..." Hidan still kept charging.

"HA!" The blue beam fired from my hands and hit Hidan. It then exploded and blasted him through a wall.

"Aaron..." Pein said warningly.

"Hey, he was gonna kill me. What did you _think_ I was gonna do, _let him_?" I asked. Pein just sighed.

"I'll go get him." I said. I walked out into the forest and found Hidan lying under a tree.

"Hidan." I said. He looked up at me in anger.

"I will fucking kill you." He said.

"Look, I'm sorry. It was just for comical relief." I said. He calmed down. I offered a hand and helped him up.

"I won't make you renounce Jashinism ever again." I told him. He nodded and actually smiled at me.

"Let's go back." I said. We both started walking back. When we were almost to the base I tripped over something.

"What the hell?" I cried out as I fell. Hidan started laughing hard. I looked back at what tripped.

"AW HELL YAH!" I shouted. The item I had tripped over was slender, back, and freakin' awesome. It was my laptop. What'd you think it was? Oh GOD! YOU SICKOS! I picked up my laptop and hugged it.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S YOU, BOB!" I shouted.

"Bob?" Hidan asked.

"That's what I named my laptop."

"What the hell's a laptop?" Hidan asked.

"It's a portable type of computer, which is a machine that has a screen, a keyboard, a mouse pad, and you can go on the internet." I said. Hidan still gave me a confused look. I sighed and we just walked back to the base.

"EVERYONE! I HAVE FOUND BOB!" I shouted. May and Rich both looked at me.

"How'd Bob get here?" Rich asked.

"Beats me! But I'm so happy!"

"Who's Bob?" Konan asked.

"He's my laptop." I said. Everyone who was in the Akatsuki gave me a confused look.

"I'll show you what he can do. But I don't know how the hell I'll get internet access." I said. I plopped down on a couch and opened up Bob. I logged onto him and checked my internet connection.

"WAIT. HOW THE HELL CAN I GET INTERNET CONNECTION? I'M IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE!" I shouted.

-Heaven-

God Me: Think of it as a present for kicking Orochimaru's ass.

-Earth-

"Ok, everyone heard that, right?" I asked. Everyone nodded.

"Anyways," I opened up Google Chrome. All the Akatsuki ooo'd. I went into the URL and typed in Youtube.

"How the hell does that work?" Kisame asked. Youtube loaded and I went to the search bar. There I typed in Akatsuki. A whole bunch of videos came up.

"What are those?" Pein asked.

"Those are called videos. They're a whole bunch of pictures put together at a certain speed to make it look like they're moving." I explained.

"And how the hell do they know who we are if we're from another fucking universe?"Hidan asked.

"Well, you guys are actually cartoon characters." They looked at me like I was crazy. I sighed and explained about how they were created.

**30 minutes later**

They all stared at me.

"That's freaky." Kisame said.

"No! Tobi is being controlled by a weird man! NUUUUU!" Tobi shouted. Hidan bitchslapped him. Then Tobi stopped.

"I'm sorry for speaking like that." Tobi said in a deep voice.

"WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU, AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH TOBI?" I asked.

"Tobi is not here anymore." He said. Then his head swiveled clean around.

"HIDAN, SLAP HIM AGAIN!" I shouted, pointing my finger at Non-Tobi. Hidan raised his hand and brought it down upon Tobi's mask.

"OW! Hidan, that hurt Tobi!" Tobi said. We all phewed.

"Hidan's not a senpai?" I asked Tobi.

"Hidan is not a senpai. Senpai's a senpai." Tobi said, pointing at Deidara.

"And why is that?" I asked.

"Hidan is a bad, bad boy. So he's a nunu!" Tobi said cheerfully. Hidan got pissed. He grabbed Tobi, flung him onto the ground, and began strangling Tobi with his legs.

"Hidan, don't strangle Tobi with your legs." I said. Hidan let go and got off Tobi.

"That's Deidara's shtick." I said. Tobi hugged me.

"Thank you, Aaron-senpai." I pushed Tobi off of me.

"Would you guys like to see some videos of yourselves?" I asked. They nodded. I found a video called,

"Hidan Meets a Dinosaur." I clicked on it and the video came up.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT. IT'S A DINOSAUR." The video began.

**about 30 seconds later**

Everyone was on the floor, laughing so hard their sides hurt.

"WHO THE FUCK MADE THAT?" Hidan shouted.

"Calm down, Hidan. That guy is in the other dimension, so you can't kill him." I said. He stopped. I went down to the comments and said,

"That's not how Hidan really acts. I should know. I'm with him and the Akatsuki right now." I pressed enter and my comment.

"Wanna see some more videos?"I asked. Everyone nodded again.

"Who would you like to see a video of?" I asked them. They just shrugged. I just went to the search bar and typed in Konan. Then I hit enter and a lot of videos popped up. I found one that was a funny cartoon and played it. Everyone started cracking up. The video ended and I went down to the comments section.

"Wait. What's that?" Pein asked. He pointed to a comment and I read it out loud.

"Man, Konan is so hot. I would so do her so hard. She would just be screaming my name over and over all night long. I'd do her in every hole with no mercy, and she would be my bitch." Pein started fuming. He was about to use Shinra Tensei, but I said,

"If you damage Bob, I will go Curse Seal level 2 on your Rinneganned ass." He stopped. I clicked on the reply button for that person and typed in a stern comment. I pressed enter and my comment popped up on the screen.

"What did you type in?" Pein asked.

"Read it for yourself." Pein leaned his head in closer and read it out loud.

"Go fuck yourself. You shouldn't treat a woman like that, even though she may be a cartoon character. Everybody has feelings, existant, or non-existant. Women aren't only useful for one-night stands. They're human beings like us, and deserve to be treated that way. You need to take a class on how to treat anyone of the female gender. May you burn in the 2nd circle of Hell, you sexist womanizer bastard." Everyone looked at me in a shocked way.

"I don't fuck around when it comes to people like that." I told them. Konan hugged me.

"You might want to stop hugging me before Pein uses his Bansho Tennin on me." I said. She let go and we continued to watch more videos. I came upon the occasional comment saying, "I would so do Konan so hard", or "Konan will be my slave bitch", and I would just reply with a curt "I wish you no luck. May you burn in the second circle of Hell." Needless to say, I earned a lot of hate from those people on Youtube. People would message me asking,

"Why would you say that?" and I would reply,

"I'm friends with the actual Konan. She doesn't appreciate you saying that she's gonna be your slave bitch, or that you'd do her so hard in every hole. Keep up with that and you will most definitely be in the second circle of Hell." Konan gave me a hug every time I stood up for her. After watching tons of videos, I went into my room and fell asleep, but not before telling everyone else that if they touched Bob, they would all be missing a very important piece of their puzzle, if you catch my drift.

**YAYYYY! I'M STILL GOOD! AND PURE!**

**Tobi: I am glad you feel that way.**

**Me: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! THE EVIL NON-TOBI FROM HELL'S VERSION OF HELL IS HERE! KILL IT! *summons a bazooka***

**Tobi: Wait Aaron-senpai! Tobi was just joking. Please don't be a nunu!**

**Me: Ok, good. But just so you know Tobi, what you did is classified as being a bad boy.**

**Tobi: -*Is still screaming as I talk***

**Me: But you can be a good boy by never acting serious in front of everybody else again.**

**Tobi: UUUUUU-Really? Thank you, Aaron-senpai!**

**REVIEW! REVIEW OR PEIN WILL GO BANSHO TENNIN ON YOU AND I WILL GO CURSE SEAL LEVEL 2 ON YOUR NORMAL, PUNY, INFERIOR-IN-EVERY-WAY ASS! Just kidding.**


	13. STAG PARTY!

**Here is chappie 13! YAYZERS! I AM PURE AWESOMESAUCENESS, AND CAN KICK ANY ASS BUT THAT OF THE HOLY GOD OF PENGUINS AND MAGIC LEPRECHAUN BROWNIES!**

**Hidan: BLASPHEMY! JASHIN KICKS ALL ASS!**

**Me: Do you _want_ HGOPAMLB to set you on fire again with brownies?**

**Hidan: Fuck you!**

**Me: *summons minigun* Wrong choice of words. *starts blasting Hidan***

**Hidan: You motherfucking suck!**

**HGOPAMLB: Bring it on, you sacrificial nut!**

**Jashin: Touche, my friend.**

**Me: TAKE THAT, BIATCH! *looks and sees HGOPAMLB and Jashin duking it out* KICK HIS ASS!**

**HGOPAMLB: Can do! *starts throwing flaming brownies and summoning leprechauns of penguiny doom***

**-30 minutes later-**

**HGOPAMLB: *stands on top of Jashin's defeated body* I rock!**

**Me: *turns to Hidan* TAKE THAT, YOU PISSANT! Jashin couldn't even stand up to a penguin!**

****Rule 7: Crazy shit happens when you're gone for a few days. Deal with it.****

**Aaron's POV**

I woke up with a groan. We all stayed up late watching videos on Bob. I walked straight out of my room and to the kitchen for some of the delicious liquid that kept me going. I grabbed a mug and placed it under the coffee machine's spout. A superb aroma filled my sense of smell as the divine brown liquid flowed into my cup. I brought the mug to my lips and drank my coffee slowly, savoring it. When I was done drinking, I put the mug in the sink and walked into the living room. I saw Kisame sitting in a chair, hunched over something.

"What are you doing, Kisame?" I asked. He looked up at me with fear, and tried to run away. I ran straight after him, hot on his heels. I finally cornered him near my room.

"Kisame, what are you holding?" I asked suspiciously. He turned around while shaking to reveal he was holding Bob.

"I told you not to touch Bob..." I said angrily. Then I summoned a gunblade and ran straight up to him. I held the gunblade near his manly bits.

"What did I tell you would happen if anyone touched Bob?" I asked him.

"They would be...missing something important..." He said. I held the gunblade up, looking like I was about to slice off his balls. I brought it down, but stopped before it touched his lower region. He cringed when I started to bring it down. He didn't feel any pain, so he opened his eyes. I took Bob out of his hands.

"Consider this a warning." I said. Then I walked away, leaving a very stunned Kisame to stand there. I walked back into the living room, and went onto . I usually would spend my time on fanfiction, looking at stories people create.

"What are those, un?" Deidara asked me.

"These are called fanfictions. They're made-up stories about characters from the Naruto anime and manga. Which is you guys and everyone else." I told him. I kept scrolling down the page.

"What's that?" Deidara asked, pointing to a SasoDei pairing story.

"You don't want to read that." I said.

"Why not, un?"

"It's a pairing. People pair up certain characters in their stories and usually it involves love. That certain pairing is a gay pairing. It's you and Sasori." I said. Deidara grew a look of horror and started retching.

"That's not all. There's pairings of every person in this universe, except for me, Rich, and May. We originally weren't part of Kishimoto's creations." I told him.

"Lucky, un." Was all he said. I just went from website to website, playing some games, reading stuff, etc. I put Bob down and said,

"I'm going to train. You can use Bob, but if you download anything, you will be missing the thing that makes sex fun." All the guys shivered and looked down instinctively.

"Also, if you go on Youtube and someone comments that they'd do Konan, simply type in: May you burn in the 2nd circle of Hell." I told them. They nodded and I went out to train. I went deep into the forest and set up some targets. I summoned a sniper rifle and hopped up in the trees. Then I put my eye to the scope and aimed carefully. I got a head shot on each target. Then I made 50 Kage Bunshins and summoned an LSAT. I ordered my Kage Bunshins to attack me with no mercy. They all ran at me at full speed, brandishing kunai, shuriken, or guns. I smirked and stood my ground as they neared me. When the Kage Bunshins with guns were about to shoot, I leaped up in the air and landed on a tree branch. They fired, quickly realizing what I had done. The bullets hit many of them and they poofed into smoke. There was thirty Kage Bunshin left. They jumped after me, moving from the trunk of one tree to the one beside it and back and forth. They all stood on branches around me. A couple leaped forward, but I made no movement. One reached me and I punched it in the face, letting it turn to smoke. The others came quickly, flying through the air. I grabbed the trigger of my rifle and spun around, letting a torrent of bullets fly. They slammed into the clones, making them get thrown back a little bit and disappear. The air was clouded with smoke. I jumped down from the tree I was in and landed harmlessly on the ground.

"What was that?" I heard a female voice say. I sent away my gun and got into a battle stance. I heard light footsteps heading towards where I was. Some bushes in front of me rustled, and out came...my girlfriend, Anko Mitarashi.

"Anko-chan?" I asked. She looked up at me in surprise.

"Aaro-kun?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked her.

"I didn't want to wait for you to come back, so I came here with the Hokage's permission." She told me.

"Well, it's good to see you." Anko and I just stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, but it seemed like forever. I took that chance to look her over. She was wearing a blue tank top on it that squeezed her large breasts just so slightly, a pair of jeans shorts that went to the middle of her upper leg, and hugged her rounded curves perfectly. My eyes focused upwards a little and I found myself looking at her breasts for a moment or two. Oh, those breasts. Those giant, soft, wonderful—

BEGONE, DIRTY THOUGHTS!

A drop of blood started to come out of my nose, but I wiped it up before Anko could notice. I looked back up at her face. The last song I sang before going on my mission described her perfectly. I could tell she was looking me over as well, because our eyes met when we finished. Then Anko ran straight up to me and hugged my chest.

"Please come back." She said pleadingly.

"I will when Rich's leg is healed." I said. She looked straight up at me with tears in her eyes.

"I need to tell you a few things though." I said.

"What are they?" Anko asked.

"First, you remember how Orochimaru gave you the Cursed Seal of Heaven? Sorry for bringing up a touchy subject." I said. She nodded. I moved my shirt collar and showed her my curse seal. She gasped.

"He gave you one too?" She asked. I nodded.

"But he'll be able to use it against you." She said worriedly. I smiled.

"That brings us to the second thing. You're wrong." I told her. Anko grew a confused look.

"Let's just say I dealt with him for taking my best friend." I said. She gasped again.

"You killed him?" She asked amazedly. I nodded proudly. She hugged me tight.

"Now the third thing. You know Sasuke and Itachi Uchiha?" I asked her. She nodded.

"Well, you probably won't believe me when I say this, but I'm their brother." She stared at me for a few moments, then started laughing.

"That's a good joke!" She said through many laughs. I just closed my eyes, activated the Sharingan, and opened my eyes. Her eyes were closed. She opened them and tried to speak, but was too shocked to get any words out.

"So that's why Sasuke said he had come back. He said he had met his brother. I thought he meant Itachi." Anko said after a few minutes.

"I met Sasuke while trying to get Rich out of Pedo-Snake's base. I managed to convince him to forget revenge." I told her. She just made a wowed face.

"Were you trying to check out some strange noises you heard?" I asked her. She nodded. I bit my thumb, made the tiger seal and an LSAT popped up in my hand.

"What is that?" She asked me.

"It's called a gun. More specifically, an LSAT. It's used in a certain place to kill people. It fires a bunch of bullets out of this nozzle," I pointed to the nozzle.

"and they stream through the air towards wherever they're aimed." I explained.

"Where's this certain place?" She asked me. I sighed.

"It's another universe. Before even coming to Konoha, I lived in another dimension without knowing I was one of the Uchiha. In fact, the universe we're in right now was actually created by a man named Masashi Kishimoto. This whole universe is really an anime, and everyone but my two friends and I are a part of it." I told her. Her mouth hung open. I wonder if I could—

BEGONE YOU EVIL, LECHEROUS, DIRTY THOUGHTS! SAVE YOURSELVES FOR WHEN THE SEX COMES!

"Why can't you come back to Konoha?" She asked me.

"I suppose I could come back for a few days." I said. She cheered and glomp-tackled me.

"I'll just tell my friends." I told her.

"Stay here. I'll be right back." I walked off towards the base. I got inside and announced,

"Hey guys! I'll be in Konoha for a few days! Do not touch Bob!" I walked out before anyone could reply. Then I got back to Anko.

"All set!" I told her. I did the hand signs for the summoning jutsu and slammed my palm into the ground. Two large puffs of smoke appeared and cleared to reveal Kumo and Aki.

"Hey guys!" I said.

"'Sup Aaron?" Kumo said.

"Hello Aaron." Aki said calmly.

"Could you guys give us a ride to Konoha?" I asked them.

"Sure." Kumo said.

"Oh, Anko-chan, this is Kumo," I gestured to him.

"And this is Aki." I gestured to her.

"Nice to meet you both." Anko said with a bow. I climbed onto Kumo, and Anko climbed onto Aki, and the two wolves took off. We arrived in Konoha in 3 hours. We both went to Naruto's house.

"Hey Naruto." I greeted. Said hyper-active blonde boy ran up and hugged me. I ruffled his hair.

"What are you doing here, Aaron-san?" Naruto asked.

"Anko convinced me to come back for a few days. Rich is with some friends." I told him. He nodded and smiled.

"Would you like some ramen?"

"No thanks." We heard a small thump at Naruto's door and I went to see what it was. It was a news scroll, and the headline was "Chunin Exams start Tomorrow!" I walked back to where Anko and Naruto were. Anko was freaking Naruto out and I said,

"Come on, Anko-chan. He's already scarred enough from the last Chunin Exams." I said. She stopped and pouted.

"And speaking of the Chunin Exams," I began.

"May I help you intimidate the genin in the second part?" I asked her.

"What can you use to intimidate them?" She asked with a devious grin.

"Well, first, I can scare some of them into pissing their pants with a gunshot. Then I can say that if they fail, I might have to shoot them while holding a gun. And finally, I could summon all the wolves and say they will be patrolling the forest." I said. Her smile turned even more devious.

"This is gonna be fun." She said.

**Time skip to tomorrow: at the Chunin Exams**

Anko was leading the way to the forest of death with about 60 genin. I summoned a Glock 19 right as the genin came to where I was. They were all looking around, not even noticing the gun I had. I turned off the safety and fired a shot into the air. The genin freaked out and I saw some parts of the grass get wet and start glistening. A dead bird fell to the ground with a bullet hole in its stomach. Even better.

"You have the floor, Anko-chan." I said. Anko stepped up in front of the genin and began the introductions.

"I am the proctor for the second exam, Anko Mitarashi, and this is my assistant, Hiroshi Uchiha!" She announced. Every one of the genin gasped.

"Yeah, yeah, I know you thought all the Uchiha except for Sasuke were dead. You were wrong!" I said with a devious smile.

"Anyways, we are at training ground 44, also known as the Forest of Death! You will find out why soon enough." Anko told them. Then she went on to explain the rules, the scrolls, the objective. She even explained the waivers so no one would ask.

"And if you fail, I might be tempted to shoot you with one of these." I said, brandishing a Beretta 9000.

"W-W-What's that?" A scared male genin asked.

"Ah, I'm glad you asked. This is called a gun. I pull this trigger," I pointed to the trigger.

"And it fires a bullet, which is a small cylindrical piece of metal that can go straight through your skin and cause pain. If I were to shoot you in the head, you would die. If I missed, I could make you handicapped for the rest of your life. So you don't want to fail." I said sadistically with a fanged evil grin. I cast a genjutsu I call my "Make You Pee Your Pants" genjutsu. It stimulates a feeling of terror and causes whoever it's cast upon to see lightning flashing in a dark sky in the background. Some genin fainted with wet pants, and had to be revived with smelling salts.

"Also, for OUR entertainment, Anko and I will have some special friends patrolling the forest. If you aren't in that tower in 5 days, and you AREN'T dead, they will not hesitate to grab you in their jaws and take you to the tower, where you will be booted out." I told them. Anko and I grinned at each other and nodded. We both did the hand seals for the summoning jutsu and slammed our palms into the ground at the same time, simultaneously shouting,

"KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!" About 20 puffs of smoke that ranged from medium sized to the size of a house appeared behind us. They cleared to reveal snakes and wolves.

"Guys, you know what to do." I told the wolves. They all nodded and headed out into the forest. Anko did the same with her snakes.

"Now...GO!" Anko shouted. I fired a bullet into the air once more and brought another bird down to the ground dead. The genin raced to get away from us, the devious duo. Once they had gotten away, many of them with wet pants and shorts, I turned to Anko.

"Would you like some dango?" I asked her. Her eyes lit up.

"Heck yes!" She said. We both started walking to the nearest dango shack. When we got there, I let Anko get 10 sticks of dango, and I myself got 2. After we (read: I) paid for the dango, we had to go to the tower in the Forest of Death. So we walked all the way there, and I just sat down and waited.

**Time Skip: 5 days later**

The thirty genin that had made it to the tower were all there, and it was time for the Hokage to tell them about the preliminaries. Anko congratulated the genin who made it, and then a puff of smoke appeared in the room. Out of it came the Godaime Hokage, Senju Tsunade.

"Please listen to Lady Tsunade, as she has something important to tell you." I said. We both sat on one knee.

"Thank you, Hiroshi. Now, all of you who are here have made it past the second stage of the Chunin Exams. The next stage has two parts. The first is the preliminaries. All of you must be back here in one month or else you will be kicked out of the Exams." Tsunade said. Anko and I rose up as she was leaving.

"You all heard her. Be back here in one month or you will be booted out." I said.

"Dismissed!" Anko finished. The genin started running from us. We both laughed as they ran for their lives.

"Well Anko, I have to get back to my friends." I said when all the genin were gone. She pouted.

"Don't worry, I'll visit you every week from now on." I told her. Her facial expression brightened up.

"Ok!" She said. I kissed her and started walking away. When I got out of the village, I summoned Kumo and rode him back to the Akatsuki base. I walked inside to find sake bottles littering the floor, and everyone but Konan and Itachi was unconscious.

"What the hell happened here?" I yelled, waking up many of the Akatsuki, who groaned and held their heads.

"Shut the fuck up! My head hurts like hell." Hidan said. Konan walked up to me.

"They had a stag party. I'm surprised your friends joined." She told me. My eyes widened. I looked around and saw May on the floor, with her skirt looking like it had been thrown around and stepped on. I filled with rage.

"IF ANY ONE OF YOU BASTARDS DID ANYTHING TO HER, I WILL TORTURE YOU EVERY DAY UNTIL YOU ARE SCREAMING YOUR LUNGS OUT FOR THE SWEET COLD BLISS OF DEATH!" I shouted. They all groaned loudly and held their heads in pain.

"Aaron, please be quiet. Nobody did anything to May. She got drunk and fell unconscious." Pein said.

"She's about as fucking lightweight as a goddamn feather." Hidan said. With that, May and Rich woke up.

"Man, my head hurts." Rich said.

"Welcome to your first hangover." I said.

"Next time there's a party, let me know." I said. I walked around and found Bob untouched on a chair. I grabbed it and went straight to my room, where I fell asleep.

**STAG PARTY! ^/W\^ Thank you for reading Chapter 13, and chapter 14 will be out soon!**


	14. GETTIN' DRUNK!

**Here is Chapter 14! I AM KYUUBI! HEAR ME RAWR! MEOW! To Kay'baka-chan:**

**1st Review: MONKEY FART.**

**2nd Review: I wuv you too.**

**Rule 8: When there's a party:**

**1. Don't be a lightweight**

**2. Make sure you can drink more than the average human can take before dying from alcohol poisoning**

I woke up and did my usual routine for the mornings: get dressed, get some coffee, and relax. I put on a black tee, a pair of denim jeans, and some specialized shinobi sandals. They were like sneakers combined with regular shinobi sandals. After doing my routine, I walked outside into the forest.

"I wonder what kind of new technique I could make." I said out loud. Then I assumed a thinking pose, stroking an imaginary beard. Let's see, I could make a wind technique, a fire technique, or a lightning technique.

"I got it! I could put lightning chakra into one of my guns to increase the firing rate." I proclaimed. I summoned a Glock 19 and charged it with lightning. The gun started glowing and made a sound similar to that of a generator running. I pushed a large amount of lightning chakra into the gun and it was enveloped in a glow.

"What the heck?" I said. The gun finished glowing, and a new weapon was in its place. It looked like a regular pistol, but with an open mouth with eyeballs on the top of the mouth at the nozzle, and a laser sight scope at the top.

"I will call this...THE SHOOP DA WOOP MARK ONE!" I announced. I held it out and pressed the trigger. A blue ball of energy formed in the mouth at the nozzle, and a blue laser spread out and fired from it, obliterating a portion of a tree's trunk.

"Whoa." I said. I decided to try the same thing with a bigger gun. I summoned an LSAT, and channeled my lightning chakra into it. A bright glow enveloped it once more, and it turned into a modified form, like the last gun.

"That's odd." I commented. I held my LSAT and pulled the trigger, sending multiple laser blasts outwards. I spent the rest of the day until the evening testing my theory on each of my weapons. All the regular guns turned into modified versions like the pistol and the LSAT. The bazooka turned into a version that fired missiles—with the same mouth with eyeballs—that fired a laser when they got close to the enemy, and then exploded when they hit them. The swords and knives I could summon would not have the mouth on them, but would have the blade turn into a blade of pure energy. I could channel chakra into it to make it send out a wave of energy every time I slashed. When the sun was 75% of the way across the sky, I went back into the base.

"How about we have a party?" I asked everyone when I came inside. They all looked at me.

"You guys owe me for throwing a party without me there." I reminded them. Kisame, Deidara, and Hidan cheered.

"Alright." Pein said. We got out 10 crates of sake bottles and set them out. I grabbed a bottle and said,

"To partying!" Everyone had finally gotten into the spirit and cheered loudly. I brought the bottle to my lips and gulped it down quickly, threw the bottle on the ground letting it smash to pieces.

"HECK YEAH!" I shouted. Everyone cheered once more.

"What say we play some Truth or Dare?" I asked. Everyone cheered yet again.

"This time, no renouncing religion." I added. We all went around and sat near the TV.

"Rich, go first." I said. Rich thought.

"Pein, truth or dare?" He asked.

"Truth."

"Do you like Konan?" Rich questioned while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Pein became a little bit nervous.

"Um...Um..." He stammered.

"It's okay if you don't like me." Konan said sadly.

"I do like you, though." He said timidly. Konan brightened up.

"You do?" She asked excitedly. He nodded. She giggled and tackled him. They wrestled around, laughing heartily.

"Come on guys, no fun stuff until we're all dead drunk and can't remember it the next day." Kisame said. I grinned.

"I bet you want to see that stuff right now, Kisame, _don't you_?" I asked slyly. Kisame got a little bit of a nosebleed.

"Ha!" I cackled.

"Pervert." I then said in a sing-song voice.

"Pein, your turn." Rich said. Pein and Konan separated, and Pein thought.

"Hidan, truth or dare?" He asked.

"Truth."

"Why are you a Jashinist?" Hidan was silent for a moment before telling everyone.

"I used to worship this fucking so-called God, until something happened. I used to have a fucking girlfriend, but it all got FUCKING SCREWED UP! I was really happy with her, and she fucking made my life fun." He started crying then.

"One day, (sob) I was going to propose to that...THAT BITCH! I bought her a fancy (sob) fucking ring and EV (sob) EVERYTHING! I came to my (sob) my house that she and I lived in after (sob) buying the fucking ring, and I (sob) I (sob) I found her in (sob) in bed with SOMEONE ELSE! My goddamn (sob) heart was fucking SHATTERED! I (sob) I threw the ring down and sma (sob) smashed the PIECE OF SHIT! That (sob) that day, I turned to Jashinism," Hidan stopped sobbing, and his eyes were now filled with anger.

"and I sacrificed her, that motherfucker, and my entire goddamn village for causing me SO MUCH FUCKING TROUBLE! I swore that I would never love again, because it j-(sob) it just leads to pain." He finished, starting to cry again with his eyes closed. All of us were amazed. He had never cried before. NEVER. May was the first one to do anything. She went over to him...and HUGGED him. Hidan cracked open his eyes and looked down. She kept hugging him. He stared at her in shock, still sobbing all the while. After a few moments, he hugged her back, amazing us all yet again. Kisame gave him a sly look and grinned.

"Looks like Hidan's got a girlfriend." He said. I saw a small drop of blood come out of his nose when he said that. I punched the back of his head and slammed him into the ground, standing on his back.

"Don't think about my friend like that, or I'll cook your balls enough that they'd be considered a meal, yet nobody would know what they really were." I threatened. He looked up at me bewildered.

"You noticed?" He asked. My three-tomoe Sharingan started flaring, though I didn't know it.

"Nothing gets past these." I said, pointing to my eyes. Everyone but Itachi, Rich, and May gasped. I looked up at the others.

"What?" I asked.

"Your eyes..." Konan said. I blinked owlishly with a blank expression on my face before I figured it out.

"Ohhhhh."

"Why do you have the Sharingan?" Pein asked. I rubbed my head sheepishly.

"Well..." I began.

"He is my brother." Itachi said for me. Everyone but Rich and May let their mandibles hang low and looked at him bewildered.

"Yeah, what he said." I told them. They looked at me carefully. I could tell Tobi, or, Madara at this point, was studying me very closely. I looked straight at him, not even blinking once. Everyone started looking at Madara, and he noticed. So he played it off by saying,

"Tobi thinks Aaron-senpai looks awesometastilistic!" Everyone sweatdropped. Madara was way too good at that shtick.

"Now then, let's continue the party!" I said, breaking up an awkward silence. We all cheered and I got every single bottle the Akatsuki had and brought them over to a large coffee table.

"Time for a drinking contest!" I announced. I set each bottle up and gave everybody five to start.

"I have a bet. Whoever can drink the most before falling unconscious is allowed to tell everyone what to do for the next three days." I told them. Kakuzu's eyes filled with happiness when I said bet, but that happiness deflated when the word "money" wasn't in the sentence.

"Now, when I say go, everyone will start drinking as fast as they can." I instructed. Everyone grabbed a bottle. Suddenly, a black cloud of smoke appeared in the corner. Out of it came Death himself.

"One of you is going to die from alcohol poisoning." He said in a non-ethereal voice. I scowled and walked over to him. He looked at me impassively. I raised my leg behind me and sent it crashing into Death's manly-bits. He let out a squeal and fell to the ground.

"You're gonna pay for that." He said after getting back up.

"Ah ah ah. You wouldn't want to hurt someone Kami owes some favors to." I said, shaking my index finger in a "no-no" fashion. He groaned and disappeared in another puff of smoke. I turned around to face everyone.

"Kami owes you favors?" Kisame asked interestedly. I smirked and nodded.

"Yes she does. Let's just say, she owes me for giving her something no one else would have been able to provide enough of." I told them. Everyone thought for a moment, and then blood burst out of their noses.

"Whoa. That's so hot." Kisame said after the blood stopped gushing out of their nostrils, which made more blood shoot out of their noses once more. A few minutes later, all the blood was cleaned up.

"Ready...Set...Go!" I said. Everyone started chugging bottle after bottle. After three bottles, May slumped, signaling she was unconscious. The next to go was Rich after six bottles. Tobi fell onto the floor after seven, telling us the almighty deathless Uchiha was down for the count. I guess even though Madara's all immortal and stuff, his greatest enemy is sake. HA! The next casualty (not actual death) was Kakuzu at 10 bottles. Then it was Kisame at thirteen. I wasn't even near drunk from all of this.

"How (hic) how do you do it?" Deidara asked.

"How do I do what?" I asked back.

"How do you (hic) stay sober?" He asked me. I shrugged.

"I don't know. I've never gotten drunk in my life." I told the remaining Akatsuki members. They looked at me in awe. The next person cast off "Don't Get Drunk" island was Deidara at seventeen bottles. Then it was Itachi at 22. Next was Sasori at 30, and I was surprised it took him that long, because now he was no longer a puppet. He was a real boy. I laughed out loud and everyone else stopped drinking.

"What's so (hic) damn funny?" Hidan asked. I dismissed it.

"Nothing. Just some random thoughts." I said. We started drinking again. Next to fall was Zetsu at forty bottles. Then it was Konan at 47. Hidan slumped next to May at 59. It was down to me and Pein. We were both on our 63rd bottle and counting. I wasn't even hiccupping by the amount of sake I had consumed.

"How (hic) the fuck (hic) can you not (hic) be poisoned by now (hic)?" Pein asked me. I set my 70th bottle down and he set his 68th bottle down.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm the _real_ God here." I said. Thunder crackled outside.

"It was a joke!" I shouted at the sky.

"Besides, you know you _love_ what I can do!" I added. The sky seemed to make a feminine giggling noise and grew red like it was blushing. We both resumed drinking. After Pein's finished his 90th bottle, he began swaying drunkenly.

"Feeling sleepy?" I asked.

"N...No..." Pein said.

"Looks like I'm better than _God_." I said. Pein scowled.

"Fuck...you..." He said the last word as he was tumbling down onto the coffee table.

"HELLZ YAH!" I shouted with a raised fist. I had consumed a total of 105 bottles of sake, and I wasn't even fazed.

"I am the Leader. I am the Leader." I kept chanting. I decided to go to my room and get some sleep.

**The Next Morning**

I walked into the living room with a whistle, only to be interrupted by moans and groans.

"Well, looks like you all had a good night's rest." I commented.

"Shut the fuckin' hell up." Hidan said, holding May next to him as they sat on a couch.

"I can't believe that you were as far away from being wasted as someone who's never drank in their life." Pein said, holding his cranium.

"I think some of Kami rubbed off on me when I gave her that _special thing_." I said, making everyone once more have blood shoot out of their noses.

"You lucky little fuck." Was all Hidan said. I clapped my hands together.

"_Well_, I am now leader for the next three days, _so_, Hidan and Zetsu, our two psychopaths: Once your hangovers clear up, go out and steal 6 crates of sake." I said.

"Why the hell should we?" Hidan asked. I growled.

"Reason 1: I'm the Leader for the next three days because of the deal last night. Reason 2: I now have 3456 (1728 x 2 = 3456) weapons to maim your body all over, and not even Jashin will be able to heal the wounds. Reason 3: I have the Shinigami on my side, seeing as how I have made friends out of Kami, him, Luck, Fate, Destiny, every single angel, Izanagi, Amaterasu, Susanoo, Tsukiyumi, Ebisu, Gama, Inari—who is not surprisingly unisex—, Koshin, Myazu-hime, HGOPAMLB (HELLZ YAH! RAWR!), and pretty much every god and goddess. And Reason 4: If you hurt May in any way at all, I will find the most torturous ways to slowly scrape all essence of sanity from your mind, and then have you locked up like a feral beast, and after years of torture, you will finally be given the quick death of a terminate animal. Now, I am going back to my room. If I come out of there in thirty minutes, and you haven't left, you will want to haul your immortal Jashinist ass to the ninth circle of Hell and be chewed up by Satan when I'm done with you." I said, leaving a cold silence in the room, my KI flaring like the sun. I walked back to my room, leaving everyone to stare in fear of what I could do.

"Damn. He's scary when he wants to be." Kisame said. Everyone but Hidan nodded. I got straight into my bed and fell asleep, trying to dream of more important things than chucking Hidan down into Hell.

**30 minutes later**

I woke up and got right out of bed. I immediately walked into the living room.

"Where's Hidan and Zetsu?" I asked.

"They left already, knowing you could do good on your threats from how you scared off Death." Rich told me. It seemed everyone's hangover had cleared up.

"By the way, for everyone who was down for the count before Pein and I were last, I finished without even being fazed at 105 bottles of sake." I told them. They all gawped at me. Then everyone but Pein got down on the floor and started bowing, chanting the mantra

"We must worship the true god." I chuckled, hearing the sky start to thunder.

"I don't think Kami-chan likes that." I said. They backed off, and the sky stopped thundering. Then Kami's voice flashed in my mind.

'_Wanna talk for a bit?_' She asked with a giggle.

'_Sure._' I replied, confirming my mental ok. I started to walk outside, when May asked,

"Where are you going?"

"To talk for a while with Kami-chan." I told her. That piqued everyone's curiosity.

"How?" Pein asked.

"She just transports me to heaven. But I don't die." I answered.

"Yeah right. I bet you don't even know what she looks like. This is going to be a waste of time, and time equals money." Kakuzu said with a scoff.

"You wanna meet her?" I asked him.

"Sure. I'll meet this fake goddess of yours." He said. I motioned for them to follow. Everyone started walking outside with me.

"You guys wanna watch?" I asked them. They all nodded excitedly. I let them walk with me to a little clearing in front of the base.

"Kakuzu, stand right next to me." I ordered. He shrugged and stood beside me.

'_Kami-chan, can you bring me and Kakuzu up? Make sure it looks grand._' I told her.

'_Ok!_' She said. A light shone down straight from heaven and was cast over me and Kakuzu as clouds spread to let it through. Then the clouds spread even more as two angels flew down and picked up me and Kakuzu.

"Still don't believe me?" I asked the smart-ass.

"You probably have me in a genjutsu." He replied with a smirk. I looked down at Itachi.

"Itachi, is there a genjutsu active?" I asked him. His Sharingan came active.

"None at all." He answered. Kakuzu looked amazed.

"Now, let me show you the beauty that is Heaven!" I announced. The two angels carried me and Kakuzu up through the clouds to Heaven. When we landed up above the clouds, Kakuzu was speechless. There were many buildings around, each made of gold, marble, and ivory. The biggest building was Kami's abode, with engravings of many historical moments and events above the doorway, patterned columns that held the building up, perfectly cut marble stairs leading to the door, and a crystal statue of an angel next to the house. I led him over to it, and knocked on the door. It opened and Kami was standing there in a schoolgirl's outfit, in a very revealing pose, with a paddle in her hand.

**Kakuzu's POV**

'_Holy shit, she's as beautiful as money!_' I thought. I just stared and drooled at how drop-dead gorgeous she was.

**Aaron's POV**

"I've been a _bad_, _bad_ girl in class, and I need to be punished." She said sultrily. Kakuzu was instantly blown back by a nosebleed that set the record for being the largest ever. Kami looked at him worriedly as he laid on the ground passed out.

"He's okay. He's just a pervert." I told her. She made an "Ah." Face.

"Well, won't you come on in?" Kami asked me. I grinned.

"Lead the way." I told her. She and I walked back in, with her swaying her hips as she walked.

**2 hours later**

Kami and I walked back out of her house, grinning all the while.

"Now that...was fun." I said. Right then Kakuzu woke up.

"What happ—" Kakuzu immediately got a good look at Kami again. He was about to faint when I smacked him.

"No fainting." I told him. He rubbed his cheek. I turned to face Kami.

"Kami-chan, may I show everyone else Heaven?" I asked her. She nodded. Then she closed her eyes and a circle opened up on the clouds. I walked over to it, and hopped down, slowly floating to where everyone else was.

"You guys want to see Heaven?" I asked them. They nodded.

"Then stand in this circle of light with me." I instructed. They all walked over and crowded into the circle. The clouds opened largely once again, and 12 angels came down and picked us up, carrying us into Heaven. Everyone was wide-eyed at the architecture of the buildings in Heaven.

"Holy crap..." Kisame said. Then all the guys saw Kami and were blown back by nosebleeds equal to Kakuzu's. Konan walked over to Kami and got right next to her.

"Is he good?" She asked Kami.

"Good at what?" Kami asked.

"Good in bed." Konan said while blushing. Kami grinned.

"He's the best _I've_ ever gotten." She told her. Konan started blushing harder, and some blood dripped out of her nose. Once all the guys had recovered from their nosebleeds, everyone looked around in admiration.

"Kami-chan, may we stay here for a few days?" I asked her once everyone was done looking around. She shrugged.

"Go ahead. But you cannot cause any trouble. Even the tiniest fight and your friends will not be permitted back until death." She told us.

"You may stay at any of the buildings here, except for this one." She pointed to the one across from us.

"Only May, Rich, and Aaron can go into that building for reasons I will not tell you." She said. Everyone picked a building that was not the one she told us about. May, Rich, and I decided to go to the building she mentioned. The building had a sign above the door that read "Kages".

"I guess all the Kages go here when they die." I commented. We went inside the building and found a door with a leaf and the number three on it.

"I think the Sandaime's in here." I said. Then Rich knocked on the door.

"Yes?" Came the voice of the Third Hokage.

"Is Hiruzen Sarutobi in there?" I asked.

"Yes."

"May my friends and I come in?"

"You may." We opened the door and went in to find the Third Hokage on a bed.

"Hello. Who might you be?" He asked us.

"My name is Aaron, this is Rich" I pointed to Rich.

"And this is May." I pointed to May.

"What unusual names." The Third commented.

"Well, those names weren't the ones we were given at birth." I told him.

"Then what names were you given?" He asked.

"Well, I am Hiroshi Uchiha, Sasuke and Itachi Uchiha's brother." I told him. He became interested.

"You are Sasuke's brother?" He asked me. I nodded.

"You must be joking. Sasuke only had one other brother than Itachi, and he died. He fell down some kind of hole and was never seen again." He said. I activated my Sharingan.

"Convinced now?" I asked him. He nodded.

"She is Maya Hyuga, Hinata Hyuga's sister." I said. He nodded again.

"And he," I began, jerking my thumb at Rich.

"Is the son of your student's student." I finished.

"You mean he is Minato's other son?" I nodded.

"Does Naruto-kun know?" He asked me.

"Yes he does." The Third smiled.

"Good." Since I was talking about the past, I started thinking about other peoples' pasts. Naruto had a really bad childhood, and people kept beating him up every day because of the Kyuubi. I bet Naruto lost a lot of the few things he had as a small child.

"I need to go talk to Kami-chan." I told them.

"Kami-_chan_, neh?" The Third said with a lecherous giggle. A small drop of blood came out of his nose.

"Even in death he's still an ero-ojiji." I said with a groan. Then I walked out of the Kage building and went over to Kami's house.

"Kami-chan, are you there?" I called out.

"Yes. I was about to take a bath. Will you help me? I'm _so_ dirty." She replied huskily.

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked her.

"Sure! As long as you _clean me_." She said suggestively.

"After the favor." I told her. I opened the door and walked inside. Kami's house was bigger on the inside than it looked. I walked all the way to her room and found her sitting on her bed, wearing nothing but her underwear.

"Kami-chan, I was wondering if you had something that could look into someone's past." I told her.

"My mirror can do that. Just put your hand on the frame and say the name of the person you want to see the past of. You can also go into their past if you wish." She said, pointing to a vanity mirror above an oak dresser. I walked over to it and placed my hand on the mirror.

"Naruto Uzumaki." I said. The glass wavered and revealed Naruto when he was at age six, holding a teddy bear, and running from a bunch of drunken villagers. I watched as he ran from them, more scared than any six-year old should ever be. They chased him to his apartment after five minutes of watching, and tossed him against a wall. Then someone grabbed his dropped teddy bear, and ripped it to pieces right in front of the little boy. He cried out

"Teddy-chan!" as his only friend was "killed" before his little tear-filled eyes. Then the villagers pinned him to a wall with kunai, stabbing one through the palms of each of his hands, and through his legs. The villagers immediately started taking turns beating him bloody.

"Oh god." I said in horror. I couldn't bear to watch anymore, so I took my hand off the frame, gagging from the images of gore and pain. Once I had calmed down, I decided to look at Anko's past. I placed my hand on the frame and said Anko's name. The glass wavered again and showed Anko at age 8, holding a ragdoll as she was hiding in a secret room in her house's floor from Orochimaru, who was attacking her village. After many people died, she peeked her head up, only to see Orochimaru there, facing opposite of her. She made a small peep and he turned around as she got back into the room. Orochimaru walked over to the small room and opened the door. Anko cowered and said,

"Please don't kill me!"

"Why would I kill you, sweet child?" Orochimaru asked her. She looked at him confusedly.

"Come with me, and I shall make you strong, so you can protect yourself." He said. She got up and went over to him, still holding her ragdoll.

"Leave that thing behind, my dear. It is a sign of weakness to hold onto the past." Orochimaru told her. She cried a little, but let the ragdoll drop to the floor.

"Good. Now follow..." Orochimaru told her. She walked away with him, leaving the ragdoll behind. I took my hand away from the frame and stepped back. Naruto and Anko had such messed up lives, and I was going to do something for them.

"Kami-chan, tell my friends I'm going down to Earth for a few days." I told her.

"You have to _clean me_ first." She said huskily.

"I'll do it when I come back, and I'll do it with Kage Bunshin. OK?" I asked her. She hmphed.

"Fine." I walked out of Kami's house and decended to Earth.

First thing to do: Find the remains of Teddy-chan and fix him up.

So I summoned Kumo and rode to Konoha. Anko was at the gate when I got there, so she ran up and hugged me.

"Hey Anko-chan!" I said happily.

"Hey yourself. You here to visit?" She asked me.

"Among other things." I said.

"Well, we've got some catching up to do." She told me, running her fingers up my shirt.

"As soon as I do two very important things." I said.

"Are you sure?" She asked me.

"I'm extremely sure." I said.

"Then you owe me some dango when you get done with them. Meet me in the Forest of Death." She instructed. I did a mock two-finger salute.

"Ma'am yes ma'am!" I said. She giggled and walked off, swaying her hips. Kotetsu and Izumo walked up to me.

"Dayyyyyyuuum." Izumo said.

"You got that right." I said. I turned to face them.

"You guys are friends with Naruto, right?" I asked the pair.

"Yeah, why?"

"Do you know where he used to live?" I asked them.

"In the Red Light District. The worst place there." Kotetsu told me.

"Thanks!" With that I ran off, heading for the Red Light District. When I arrived at the district, I looked around for the shabbiest building there. I found a small house, probably equivalent to a three room shack, and went inside. I looked around. The whole place was a mess. There was dust and spider webs everywhere, and it smelled like someone died. I walked around, looking for ripped pieces of a teddy bear. I found a head, two arms, and the torso covered in webs and dust. I had to get the legs. So I looked some more. I saw the wall where he had been pinned by his hands and legs. There was still blood on it. I remembered what I had seen in Kami's mirror. They had ripped his teddy bear apart about four feet in front of him, so I looked around near the middle of the room. I finally found the two legs under a pile of ripped clothes. I sealed them all inside a scroll and looked for the nearest shop that could sew stuff together. I found one in the Clan District, belonging to the Hyuga clan. So I walked inside. At the counter stood some random Hyuga I didn't know.

"Hello sir." He said to me.

"Hello. Do you think you could sew something back together for me?" I asked him.

"What is it?" He asked me. I unsealed the pieces of Naruto's teddy bear out of the scroll. He looked at them closely, turning them around and around. He saw Naruto's name on the back and scowled.

"I am sorry, but I do not do favors for the demon." He said. I became furious.

"He is not a demon. He is nothing but a hero, and probably near a god for surviving the hell you jerks put him through his entire life! I have three reasons for why you should do this:

Number 1: I don't give a flying fuck that you're a Hyuga. I am one of the last Uchiha, _and_ a shinobi." I pulled out a kunai.

"Number 2: You think Naruto's a demon just because he _contains_ the fox. You couldn't see past that little fact because you were probably too busy cramming 39 and ½ foot poles up your snobby ass, and you don't know shit about how his life has been. He could have let the fox take over, and killed you all for being such monsters, but he didn't. He's too kind and accepting to do that. For that, you should be thankful.

And Number 3: I know Kami, the Shinigami, and just about every deity on a personal level. Unless you want to find yourself trapped in the 7th circle of Hell for violence against a child, and on the verge of a religious thermonuclear war, I suggest you do this." He scoffed at what I last said.

"You do not know the Shinigami or Kami! That is blasphemy!" He exclaimed.

"Fine, don't say I didn't warn you." I told him.

'_Kami-chan, please get Shinigami-sama and come to Earth for a minute._' I said to Kami mentally.

'_Why?_' She asked.

'_Someone's being an asshole about Naruto, and calling him a demon._' I explained. The sky thundered outside.

'_They're dead!_' She exclaimed. Then she stopped talking to me, grabbed the Shinigami, and came down to Earth through a thunderbolt. The Hyuga looked like he pissed his pants when this happened. I bet he did.

"Who's calling Naruto-kun a demon?" Kami shouted out when the thunderbolt went away. I jerked my thumb at the clerk.

"Him." I simply said. She marched over with the Shinigami, looking very pissed off.

"How dare you call him a demon!" Kami shouted at the man.

"That boy has done nothing but help and save this village all his life, and how do you repay him? BY TURNING HIS LIFE INTO HELL! You should be ashamed! Now, do what he asks of you," She pointed at me.

"Or I will send you to Hell, where you will burn in a lake of fire and suffer for all eternity!" She screamed. I could see a wet puddle on the ground near the Hyuga's feet. Kami stormed back to where she had touched down with the Shinigami, and after the Shinigami said,

"See ya." They both flew back up to Heaven.

"Now, am I going to have to entirely open my bag of tricks, or are you going to do this?" I asked the clerk after turning to face him.

"Y-Yes." He said. He took the pieces and I told him,

"If you plant a bomb or anything that could hurt anyone in there, I will report it to the Hokage, and you will be executed for murder." He nodded, and got out thread and a needle. He then stitched all the parts of Teddy-chan together and handed it back to me.

"Thank you." I said. Then I laid 20 Ryu on the counter and walked out of the store. I thought for a moment. Where would Naruto be right now?

"He'd probably be with his friends, or at Ichiraku's." I said out loud. So I raced to Ichiraku ramen, and found Naruto there with Sakura, Sasuke, Hinata, Ino, Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba, Shino, Lee, Neji, and Tenten, inhaling bowl after bowl of noodles. I hid Teddy-chan behind my back. Then I walked up to him.

"Hey Naruto." I said. He stopped slurping noodles and turned around.

"Yeah?" He asked me.

"I have a present for you." I told him. He got excited.

"What is it?"

"It's something you deserve for what happened in the past." I told him. He looked confused.

"What?" I held Teddy-chan in front of me.

"It's your old friend Teddy-chan!" I said with a big smile. Tears filled his eyes.

"How—Where—" He couldn't get a full sentence out.

"I saw what happened in your past, found all his pieces, and had him sewn back up." I explained. He grabbed Teddy-chan and gave me a death hug.

"Thank you!" He cried out, loud enough for everyone nearby to hear. All the civilians scowled at him, and I flipped them all off. He stopped hugging me, and I said,

"You can also thank Kami-chan." Everyone looked at me in a funny way.

"Kami-_chan_?" Sakura asked. I rubbed my head sheepishly.

"Guess the cat is out of the bag." I said.

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked me.

"Do you guys want to meet Kami?" I asked them. They all looked at me like I had said I was going to commit seppuku (suicide). Sakura leaned next to Naruto.

"Is he crazy?" She asked him in a whispered voice.

"I am most certainly not." I told her in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Now just wait a moment." I said. Then I started speaking to Kami.

'_Kami-chan, can you get my friends out of heaven for a second?_'I asked her.

'_Why?_' She asked me.

'_I want to show Naruto and his friends heaven, and they want to meet you._' I told her.

'_Ok, just give me a second._'

**In Heaven**

"Ok, you guys, you need to go for a bit." Kami said.

"Why?" May asked.

"Aaron and I have something to talk about. It's extremely important and secret, so you can't be here." She lied. Everyone groaned, but jumped down through the hole in the clouds.

**With Me**

'_All clear! I'll bring you guys up in just a second!_' Kami's voice rung in my head.

'_Okay, but no suggestive clothing. Save that for later._' I told her.

'_Gotcha!_' All 13 of us started floating in the air.

"What's happening?" Sasuke cried out.

"This is the fast way to get to Heaven!" I told them. Everyone started being enveloped in a yellow ball of energy. A hole opened up in the clouds, and all the balls floated upwards through the hole, with my voice yelling out,

"Peace out, suckas!" A bunch of people fainted.

We all appeared above the clouds in Heaven. The balls shrank, and everyone dropped to their feet.

"Welcome to Heaven." I announced. All the genin were amazed, and looked around at all the buildings. Kami started walking up to us.

"Hello everyone." She said. All the guys focused straight on her and started drooling, except for Shino, who remained emotionless, though I could tell he thought she was beautiful. She was a legitimate reason to drool out of nowhere. She had long, flowing, silver hair that went down to her ankles, a white gown that covered her feet, gold eyes, and tan flawless skin. Of course, Kiba shouted out,

"Man, she's hot!" and received a whack on the head from Ino and Sakura, while Kami giggled.

"Anyways, this is Kami." I told them. All the guys waved hi wistfully, while the girls said a polite hello. I faced the genin with a grin.

"And you all thought I was crazy." I said.

"I actually met her one day when I nearly died. I had been climbing a tree in my backyard, and it was as tall as a house." I told them.

"I fell out of the tree, and landed straight on my head, busting it open. I immediately came to heaven, and met her. I helped some people out here, and she and I became good friends. I was then brought back to life, and she and I have remained friends. We even have a mental link, so she and I can communicate when we want." Everyone stared for a moment before Kiba said,

"You're one lucky son of a bitch."

"That I am. Now, would you all like to know why Naruto was so happy about the teddy bear I gave him?" I asked them. They all nodded. Kami and I led them to her house, and we came to her room. I walked over to the mirror. I faced the genin.

"What you are about to see is gruesome, horrific, and could very well scar you for life. If you do not wish to see it, I suggest you head out of the room. This is a piece of Naruto's past, one that is likely to make you cry. Watch at your own risk." I told them. Then I waited to see if anyone would leave. After a bit, I turned my head towards Kami.

"Kami-chan, if I may?" I asked her. She nodded. I turned my head back to the mirror and placed my hand upon the frame.

"Naruto Uzumaki, six years old." I said. The glass rippled and showed the same memory of Naruto being chased by the villagers while holding Teddy. They chased him to his house, and ripped up Teddy-chan. I faced the genin.

"When you wish for me to stop showing you, only one person has to say so." I told them. They all watched in horror as Naruto's beloved friend was torn apart. Then they all watched as the past Naruto was beaten bloody by the drunken villagers. Every single one of the rookies had a look of horror upon their face. After a minute or two of watching the villagers beat up Naruto, Sakura cried out,

"Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!" while shedding tears. I took my hand off of the frame and the colors faded away until the glass was back to normal.

"That was what I needed to show you." I told them. They all looked at Naruto.

"That happened to you?" Sakura asked him. He nodded sadly.

"It didn't just happen once to Naruto." I piped up.

"It happened nearly every day. And on his birthday, it was even worse." I told them. They all were surprised. He was always the happy-go-lucky annoying goofball everyone knew him as.

"You guys, besides Teddy-chan and the Sandaime, were his first friends. The first ones who didn't run away from him in fear, or try to kill him. You guys were the first people who truly liked him." I said. They all looked amazed.

"Wait. Why would it get worse on his birthday?" Sasuke asked. I smiled a sad smile.

"I cannot tell you that yet. The time isn't right." I told them. Everyone pouted except for Naruto, who smiled at me.

"Thank you." Naruto said to me.

"Tell us what it is." Sasuke said. Naruto looked at me in a pleading way.

"Do not pressure Naruto about why." I ordered.

"It is a deeply emotional subject that he doesn't want to bring up just yet." Everyone was silent.

"Now, Kami-chan, how much would you say they have here before they have to leave?" I asked her.

"About an hour." I nodded.

"Then you all may explore around if you wish. Though I have to have you all talk to one very special and person, and Naruto has to meet someone important." I told them.

"All of you, follow me." I ordered. All the genin got behind me, and I led to them to the Kage building.

"You all see this sign?" I asked them, pointing to the sign that read "Kages". They all nodded.

"All the Kage from the villages that have them are in here. I would like you all to talk to the Sandaime." I said. They all were wide-eyed.

"Jiji's in here?" Naruto asked. I nodded.

"As are the first, second, and fourth Hokages." I told them. They all started rushing inside. I kept chuckling at how surprised they were. I just walked in calmly. Everyone was standing in the middle of the hall, waiting for me.

"So where's jiji?" Naruto asked me.

"Follow me." I said. Then I led them all the way to the door with a three and a leaf on it. I knocked on the door.

"Hiruzen Sarutobi? Are you in there?" I called out.

"Yes." Came the reply.

"May we come in?"

"Who is with you?"

"Some very excited genin." I told him. He was silent for a moment. Then he said,

"Come in." I opened the door and Naruto was the first to rush in, shouting,

"JIJI!" The Sandaime was shocked as Naruto plowed into him and hugged him with Teddy-chan still in his hand.

"Naruto-kun?" Hiruzen asked.

"It's me jiji!" Naruto replied. Hiruzen looked up at me.

"You brought them here?" He asked me.

"I figured Naruto would want to see his favorite Hokage. Everyone else just came along." I told him. He smiled at me. Naruto stopped hugging the Sandaime and showed him Teddy-chan.

"Look, jiji! Aaron fixed up Teddy-chan!" He said, being the blonde hyperactive goofball he is.

"Now did he?" Hiruzen asked with a chuckle. Then he got serious.

"Did you tell them?" He asked me.

"Not yet. I said I would tell them when the time is right." I answered.

"Well, I think I could tell them now. My law that prohibits any adult from telling them wouldn't affect me, seeing as how I'm already dead." The Sandaime said with a chuckle.

"Everyone, sit down and listen to the Third." I ordered. All of the genin except for Naruto sat on the floor. Naruto came over to me, and Hiruzen started his story.

"You all know how October 10th is a holiday, right?" The Third asked them. They nodded.

"Do you know _why_?" He questioned.

"Because the Kyuubi got its freakin' ass whooped by the Fourth!" Kiba shouted out. I felt a bunch of KI coming from Naruto's head. I bet the Kyuubi was screaming so many profanities at him, threatening to rip him apart and all that shiz.

"Correct. Though I would advise you not to use such language." The Sandaime said. Naruto leaned next to me.

"Do you think they're still gonna like me after he tells them?" He asked me in a whispering voice.

"Definitely." I told him with a smile.

"Now, what Kiba here said is true. The Yondaime did beat the Kyuubi." Hiruzen told them.

"We told you he killed it, but he didn't."

"What do you mean he didn't kill it? I thought he used his ultimate jutsu or something." Sakura said.

"The Kyuubi is a Biju; a sentient being made of chakra. It cannot be killed." The Sandaime told them. The genin started whispering amongst themselves.

"Team 7, you all saw when you were battling Zabuza Momochi and Haku in Wave Country that Naruto-kun was surrounded by a cloak of orange chakra, right?" Hiruzen asked them. Sakura and Sasuke nodded.

"That orange chakra was not Naruto's. The Yondaime couldn't kill the Kyuubi, so instead he sealed it inside a baby boy."

"Then who the hell did he seal it inside? Kiba asked. I sighed.

"Looks like you guys have some trouble putting two and two together." I said. They all turned to face me.

"When was Naruto born?" I asked them.

"October 10th." Shino answered.

"When did the Kyuubi?" I questioned.

"O-October t-tenth." Came Hinata's reply.

"What did the Yondaime seal the Kyuubi in?" I also asked.

"A baby bo—" Sasuke tried to say "boy" but couldn't finish as he looked at Naruto wide-eyed.

"You mean..." I nodded.

"The fox was sealed inside Naruto." I finished.

"Now you all see why the teachers at the Academy would scowl at him, and why he kept getting beaten up by villagers. They couldn't tell the difference between a kunai and a scroll." I said to them. They all looked at Naruto with bug eyes.

"Do you still want to be my friends?" Naruto asked timidly. They were silent. He looked down in a sad way.

"Of course we'll still be your friends." Sasuke said. Naruto looked straight up with a surprised expression.

"You will? But, don't you think I'm a demon?" He asked them.

"Why would we think that? You're one of the bravest and nicest people in the Leaf. Besides, it'd be too troublesome to act like that." Shikamaru said. Naruto smiled and looked up at me.

"I told you so." I said in a sing-song voice. Naruto started giggling. I turned my head back to the genin.

"Now, you all still have forty minutes left to explore." I told them.

"Kiba, if I catch you making comments about Kami-chan, your ass is next to go in the oven." I said, pointing a finger at the Inuzuka boy. Everyone went out the door to look around Heaven some more. Naruto started to go, but I stopped him.

"I have one more person for you to talk to." I told him. He gave me an inquisitive look. Naruto and I walked out the Third's door and I led him to the room right next to it, which had a 4 and a leaf on the door.

"Who's in here?" Naruto asked me, pointing to the door. I smiled.

"You'll have to find out." I told him. I knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" The Yondaime's voice called out.

"Someone who really wants to meet you." I told him. He was silent for a moment. Then he said,

"Come in." I opened the door and ushered Naruto inside the room. The Yondaime was sitting on his bed.

"Hello. Who might you—" His eyes locked on Naruto.

"Naruto?" He asked.

"Tou-san?" Naruto asked him. They both stared in surprise for a moment, then Naruto ran up and hugged his dad tight.

"Naruto, what are you doing here?" Minato asked.

"Aaron was letting me and my friends visit Heaven." Naruto told Minato. Minato looked up at me confused.

"I know Kami on a personal level." I explained. He made an "Ah" face. Naruto held out Teddy-chan.

"He even fixed Teddy-chan!" The little boy exclaimed.

"Teddy-chan?" Minato asked.

"It was his first friend. The villagers, or rather, monsters, ripped it apart to be cruel to him before beating him up." I told Minato. He nodded. Then he smiled at Naruto.

"It's good to see you, Naruto." Minato said. Naruto hugged his dad tight.

"I'll leave you two to chat for a while." I said. Then I walked out of the door as Naruto and his dad started conversing. My work here was done.

**Did you likes it? YAYYYZORS!**

**Me: Kami-chan, what should the next chapter be about?**

**Kami: Hmmm...It should be about the other thing you needed to do before meeting Anko in the Forest of Death. Make sure to include some comedy and crude humor.**

**Me: *writes all this down* Got it. *faces audience* I want anyone who reads this chapter to tell me in the comments the five funniest things that happened to you while you were drunk, if any. Don't PM me, you need to write it in the comments. That way, everyone who reads can enjoy a good laugh. The last thing I'm going to ask is if Kay'baka-chan, could you perhaps PM me an OC you think of? I would like to make a story after this one about my OCs each taking on an apprentice. Yours will be for Aaron. If you could do that, it would be perfect. I will PM you the form for him (everything about him). Thank you all for reading, and-**

**Hidan: I WILL SACRIFICE YOU! *tries to slice me***

**Me: *sidesteps and kicks Hidan in the balls* Learn some new tricks.**

**Hidan: Fuck...you...**

**Me: Also, I was checking out some videos on Youtube for one of my favorite songs, "What is Love?" by Haddaway, and I found this cool animated video where it's this guy, his girlfriend just broke up with him, and he's trying to find love, but things keep getting in the way. One day, he meets Cupid, who is in the form of a man playing an electronic keyboard for money, so he pays him and a lot of crazy shiz ensues. Just search "what is love haddaway" and it's by JoeysLucky22. You should see it. It's pretty freakin' cool. Another thing: I will be going on a trip starting today and will be gone for three days, and since my stupid computer has to always make me connect it to a network, I can't use it where I'm going. So I will not be on my computer for three days (WHYY?), and cannot finish typing Chapter 15 just yet. I hope you guys will be patient, 'cuz if you do, you'll get COOKIES AND PIXI STIX!**

**Tobi: Pixi Stix? Where? Tobi wants some Pixi Stix!**

**Me: *tosses Tobi three Pixi Stix* There you go. *focuses on you guys again* So, I will not be on my computer for three days. *cries major anime tears and clears them up* And the last thing: Kay'baka chan: If you have a Deviantart account, do you think you could maybe draw a picture of Aaron, Rich, Arine, and May? I'll PM you their traits. If you could do that as well, that would be awesometastilistic.**

**Tobi: YAYYY! Aaron-senpai used a Tobi word!**

**Me: A Tobi word?**

**Tobi: Yes! A Tobi word is a word that Tobi made up! Everytime someone like Aaron-senpai uses it, they have to give Tobi Pixi Stix!**

**Me: *I grumble a string of curses under my breath* Fine. *Tosses Tobi one more Pixi Stix* There you go. Thank you, and good night!**


	15. The Uchiha's Apprentice

**Here is Chapter 15! It's gonna be awesometastilistic!**

**Inner: And yet, people still think you're not stupid.**

**Me: *Summons the Shoop da Woop Mk. 1* This is one of my most favorite toys, and it's gonna put the thing that **_**should**_** be on your shoulders there: Nothing. *begins firing at Inner***

**Inner: FUCK. YOU. YOU'RE A PIECE OF MOTHER-FUCKING, ASSTASTIC SHIT!**

**Me: I'm Barack Obama, and I do **_**not**_** approve this message.**

**Rule 9: Do something nice, and Kami-chan will reward you with a new friend.**

I now had to go back to Earth for a bit. I was about to go through the hole when Kami stopped me.

"You still have to _clean me_." She said huskily. I grinned.

"I'll do much more than clean you. I'll scrub you until you're shining." I said. Then I picked her up and carried her bridal style as I ran to her house.

**30 minutes later**

She and I were both laying on her bed, panting.

"That enough?" I asked her. She could only nod. I got back up and got my clothes on.

"I'm going down to Earth. Be back soon." I told her. Then I walked all the way to the circle and jumped in. I plummeted down to Earth and landed in the middle of a ruined village of sorts. I looked around for a bit and recognized it as Anko's old village.

"Damn, I'm lucky." I said. Then I tried to find Anko's old house.

"If I remember correctly, it was in across from a ruined hut, and what appeared to be a restaurant." I said. So I walked around the village for a bit. After 10 minutes, I managed to find the restaurant that I had seen.

"So if that's the restaurant, then where's..." I traced my finger across from the restaurant and found Anko's old house, which had been smashed to pieces during the attack. I walked over to the rubble.

"Now, where would that old ragdoll be?" I asked, stroking my chin. I started walking around on the rubble, looking around for Anko's childhood toy. I stepped on a piece of broken roof, and I felt something else underneath. So I got off and lifted up the piece of the roof. I gasped. There it was: Anko's ragdoll. I quickly picked it up and ran outside the village into a forest.

'_Kami-chan, can you send me back up to heaven?_' I mentally asked.

'_Sure!_' Kami said with a giggle. Light once more shone down from heaven and I was carried through the clouds by an angel. I landed straight on my feet in front of Kami's house. I turned around and saw Kiba talking to Kami, saying things like, "You're so smoking that I need to call the fire brigade." I scowled and made the horse and tiger hand signs.

"Gōkakyū no jutsu!" I shouted. A huge fireball escaped from my lips and flew towards Kiba. He turned his head and his eyes widened. Everything was happening in slow motion. He jumped back as the fireball hit where he was standing.

"What the hell was that for?" Kiba asked me. I smirked.

"I told you that if you made comments like the first one about Kami-chan again, your ass would be next in the oven. This is the oven, and I'm the heat." I told him. I made the hand signs and blew out three more great fireballs. Kiba started shaking. The fireballs landed in front of him, but didn't hurt him.

"I'm letting you off easy." I said. He phewed.

"But DON'T let me catch you doing that again." I said, pointing a finger at him. He stiffed up and nodded. I turned to Kami.

"How much time would you say they have left to explore?" I asked her.

"They're actually out of time now. You arrived at the right moment." She told me.

"Could you go get them all?" She then asked. I saluted. I then walked forward a little and used chakra to amplify my voice.

"All genin from Konoha need to come here or else I will go Grand Fireball on them." I said. The genin immediately came running back in fear of what I could do.

"We have to go back to earth now." I told them.

"But whyyyy?" Naruto asked in a whiny voice.

"Because I have a date with Anko. If any of you make me late, I'll have to get the Shinigami." I answered, pointing my finger at all of them. They all stiffened up and I waved goodbye to Kami. Then one by one, we all jumped into the circle and slowly floated back down to Earth in the middle of Konoha.

"See you all later." I said. I waited until all the genin left, then I jumped on top of a building and began leaping from roof to roof.

"Man, he's pretty cool." Was the last thing I heard besides Lee shouting,

"His flames of youth burn bright like the youthful sun! YOSH!" I sweatdropped as I was still leaping. I landed on the ground in front of one of those shops that wraps gifts. I walked inside as a little bell jingled at the top of the door.

"Aaron-san?" A female voice called out.

"Ino?" I asked. Ino was standing there at the counter.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm just getting a gift wrapped for a friend." I told her. She nodded.

"Is it Anko?" Ino asked with a knowing glance. I chuckled.

"It seems you're up to speed on everything I'm doing." I said.

"Well, I know most things that go on in the village." She told me.

"That much I figured." I walked over to the counter.

"So what would you like wrapped?" Ino asked. I unsealed the ragdoll out of a scroll.

"This." I said, placing the doll on the counter.

"Aren't you a bit old to be playing with dolls? And a bit too un-girly?" She asked me. I laughed.

"If I had played with dolls at all, my adoptive mother would've slapped some sense into me." I said.

"No, this used to belong to Anko. She had it as a kid. I took it upon myself to find it so I could give it to her." I told Ino.

"Oh. Do you need it in a box?" Ino asked.

"If you could." She got out a tall thin rectangular box and set it on the counter. Then she pulled the top off and set the ragdoll inside. Finally, she closed the box and wrapped it up. Ino handed it back to me.

"There you go, Aaron-san." I placed twenty Ryu on the counter.

"Thank you Ino, and next time, just call me Aaron. I have no real need for honorifics unless it's in a relationship." I told her with a smile. Then I picked up my gift, exited the store, and started walking towards the dango shop. About half the way there, I was walking by a man when he looked at the box inquisitively.

"Is that a gift for someone?" He asked me. I nodded.

"It's for my girlfriend." I told him.

"And who might she be?"

"Anko Mitarashi." He started scowling.

"Why are you friends with the Snake Whore?" He asked me. I grabbed his shirt with a furious expression and slammed him into a stone wall.

"Do not call her that." I said while glaring.

"She deserves it, since she was working with the traitor Orochimaru." He retorted. I drew a kunai.

"She doesn't deserve that. She has been persecuted all her life because of him. I swear that if I ever catch you calling her the "Snake Bitch", or the "Snake Whore", the last thing you see before eternal torment will be the devil welcoming you to Hell." I said with a tremendous amount of KI bursting from my body. The man slightly trembled, but stood firm.

"She deserves those names for being related to that traitor." He pressed. I growled and bit my thumb. Then I made several hand signs and slammed my palm into the ground. Three clouds of smoke appeared, and out of them came Kumo, Aki, and Kage.

"This is Kumo, Aki, and Kage. They are my summons. Seeing as how you're a civilian, you can't touch me." I told him.

"Now, if I catch you calling the woman I love a bitch or a whore again, they will slowly chew on your limbs while you watch your most _prized possessions_ burn to a fine crisp and turn to ash. _Then_ I will send you to Hell." I told him. He started pissing his pants from the KI being released from me and the wolves.

"I'm going to let you live, but if you cross my path and call her those names again, I will fucking maim you." I said, letting go of the man's shirt. I sent away my wolves and walked away from the asshole. Then I got to the dango shop, and ordered 30 sticks of dango. I had them all bagged, and walked to the Forest of Death. As I entered, Anko's voice said,

"You're finally here. I was getting impatient since I want to torture you." I smirked and said,

"Well then, no dango or gifts for you." Anko appeared right in front of me and asked,

"Dango? Gifts?" I held out the bag of dango and the box with the ragdoll in it.

"Let's go find somewhere nice to sit." I told her. We both started walking to a clearing in the forest. None of the animals touched us. They could sense we had no harmful intentions and were the Alpha male and female. I think. Then we both sat down on soft grass and Anko reached for the dango bag.

"Ah, ah, ah. Your gift first." I told her. I handed her the box and she tore through the wrapping. When she pulled off the top, she gasped. Anko grabbed the ragdoll and held her out.

"Little...Sylvia..." Anko said. Tears grew in her eyes, and she tackle-hug-glomped me, laughing like crazy.

"I knew you'd like it." I told her. We both started wrestling around, laughing like a couple of maniacs in love. Which is what we were.

"How'd you find her?" Anko asked me.

"I know people." I simply said. She just hugged me in a vice grip. Suddenly, some bushes near us rustled. We both got up and drew kunai. We slowly advanced towards them, and I pulled them aside. There sat a girl, who looked to be 19 years old, eating some bread. She turned her head slowly, and her eyes widened. Then she dropped the bread and held her arms up protectively.

"Please don't hurt me!" She said. Anko and I both lowered our arms.

"We're not going to hurt you." I said. She lowered her arms a little bit.

"You're-you're not?" She asked us. I smiled.

"We aren't." I said in a soft voice. Then she lowered her arms a little bit more.

"What are you doing here? This forest is very dangerous." Anko asked.

"Um...well, I-I was looking for someone named Hiroshi Uchiha." The girl answered. Anko and I both blinked. She was looking for me?

"I'm Hiroshi Uchiha. But most people call me Aaron." I told her.

"Y-you are?" She asked. I activated my Sharingan.

"This answer your question?" I asked back. She nodded, transfixed on my Sharingan. I turned my eyes off. I offered a hand out, and she cringed.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"P-please...Don't t-touch me..." She said in a scared voice. I looked at her expression. She was probably remembering something bad that happened. I pulled my hand back.

"Sorry." I said, sheepishly rubbing the back of my head. The girl stood up, and bowed.

"What's your name?" Anko asked.

"Um..." The girl sounded hesitant.

"If you don't want to tell us right now, that's fine." I told her in a caring voice. She managed a small, timid smile, blushing at the same time.

"Look at that beautiful smile! I bet a lot of guys faint from how bright it is!" I said jokingly. The girl's blush grew darker, and we all started laughing. After a minute, we calmed down.

"So why were you looking for me?" I asked the girl.

"Well...I...I wanted to ask if...if I c-could be your a-apprentice." She said.

"My apprentice?" I asked out loud.

"I never really thought of having an apprentice." I said. Then I started sheepishly rubbing the back of my head again.

"I always thought I'd never get far in life." I said with a laugh after. The girl started giggling a little.

"If that's what you want, then sure." I told her. She bowed.

"Thank you, Aaron-sama." She said. I shook my head.

"No need for honorifics. I find that they always end up taking up more of your sentence than the words themselves." I told her. She bowed again.

"You are now officially my apprentice!" I announced, making some of the animals turn their heads towards me. The girl blushed at the recognition, even though it was from a bunch of animals.

"You must be hungry." Anko said. The girl nodded.

"Well, how about we get you some dango?" I asked. The girl gave a faint inquisitive look.

"What's dango?" She asked. Anko's jaw dropped.

"We need to get this girl a stick of dango, fast!" She said. We started walking. When we got back in the city, we ran into Naruto.

"Hey Aaron! Hey crazy snake lady! Who's your friend?" Naruto yelled even though we were right in front of him. The girl hid behind my back. I bonked him on the head.

"What was that for?" Naruto asked, rubbing his sore cranium.

"You're scaring her!" I told him.

"She's a little bit shy, and doesn't want to say her name yet." I explained.

"Ohhh." Naruto held a hand out to her, which made her cringe again.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention she doesn't like people touching her." Naruto pulled his hand away. He smiled.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki, ramen lover, and future Hokage!" He shouted. The girl cringed even more. I whacked him on the head again.

"Ow! What makes you think you have the right to do that?" Naruto asked. I put a finger on my chin.

"Hmm, let's see...I have Jounin rank skill, I saved your brother from a whole base full of Oto-nin, beat our sensei on my own, and killed Orochimaru. What do you think?" I asked him. His jaw hit the ground.

"You beat Ero-sennin's teammate? I will do better than you! Dattebay—" A chakra enhanced fist slammed down on his head. The girl cringed again. I turned to Anko.

"Did you do that?" I asked her. She shook her head no. Then Sakura came over and stood over Naruto.

"You're too loud, baka!" She shouted.

"Ah, that would explain it." I said. Sakura saw the girl behind me and smiled.

"Hi! My name's Sakura!" She said cheerfully (as if that could happen when she's not around Sasuke.). The girl stayed silent.

"What's wrong?" Sakura asked.

"She's a little shy. She also doesn't like it when people touch her." I explained for the girl. Sakura nodded.

"Well, I hope we can get to know each other better in the future." She said. Then she started dragging Naruto's unconscious body behind her. We again continued walking towards the dango shack. When we sat down, we ordered a stick of dango for the girl. Anko and I watched intensely as she held it up. Then she put one of the dumplings in her mouth and chewed slowly. Her face brightened up a little, and she said,

"Th-this is good..." Anko pumped her fist in the air and said,

"I knew you'd like it!" The girl blushed again. I took a bit to look her over. She had black hair that reached below her breasts, her right eye was colorless, as though there had been no color there ever, and her left eye was a deep purple. She was wearing a black cloak of sorts that covered her mouth, which was tight around the top of it, but got loose at her hip and all the way down. She had bandages below her cloak at her stomach. Then she had a pair of very short tan pants, her right leg was bandaged up to her knee, and she had a weapons pouch also on her right leg. Finally, she had knee high dark blue shinobi sandals, and had a pure white Amegakure hitai-ate dangling from her neck. You could see that she apparently was pretty curved.

"You're from Amegakure?" I asked. She nodded.

"I know two people who are from there." I told her. She cracked an extremely faint smile. After she finished her dango, we got up and I told her,

"We have to go see the Hokage, and tell her about you, and you're most likely going to have to tell us who you are, and stuff about yourself. Is that Ok?" She nodded timidly and we started walking. When we arrived at the Hokage's office, Tsunade greeted me with a hello, and I said hello back.

"Who's that with you?" She asked.

"We don't know. We found her in the Forest of Death, and she said she wishes to be my apprentice." I told her. She made a serious face.

"Well, I can't have anyone running around the village without knowing who they are. Can she tell us who she is?" Tsunade asked. I looked at the girl. She nodded, and stepped in front of me.

"My n-name is Himawari Arine, th-though I prefer t-to be called Hima-chan, Rine-rin, or Myon. I did come here f-for the reasons I said. I w-wanted to be Aaron's apprentice, a-and he said I could. I am from Amegakure," She tried to continue, but Tsunade stopped her.

"You are from Amegakure? Have you heard of Pein?" She asked. Arine nodded.

"Yes. I like that he is trying to find world peace—" Tsunade scowled.

"ANBU!" She shouted. The room filled with smoke, clearing to reveal 20 ANBU.

"Get behind me!" I ordered. Arine hid behind my back and I held my hand up. A ball of energy the size of a yoga ball (I'm not exaggerating) appeared above my palm.

"None of you will take one step closer." I said.

"I don't care if she is from Amegakure. I don't care if she likes Pein's ideals. I don't give a FLYING FUCK if she even worships him! NOBODY IS GOING TO HURT MY FRIEND UNLESS THEY WANT FIND THEMSELVES IN A PLACE WORSE THAN HELL!" I yelled. Tsunade held a hand up, signaling the ANBU to not make a move. Arine had a dark blush grow on her face.

"I suggest you don't do anything. I have enough power to level the village if need be. I don't think Anko told you this, but one of your former teammates is dead, Tsunade." I said. She gasped.

"Jiraiya?" She asked.

"Not him. It's Orochimaru." I told her.

"How?" Tsunade pressed.

"Me. He tried to change one of my friends, and that was one of his biggest mistakes." I said coldly. She looked shocked.

"You actually..."

"A wise proverb is "A warrior neither strikes at the mind nor soul. He attacks the heart." I give no mercy to those who use that against me." I told Tsunade, sending enough KI into the room to make Arine nearly faint, to make some of the ANBU pee their pants, and to make Anko and Tsunade shiver. I stopped releasing KI and spoke again.

"I don't think she was finished. I sensed a but coming before you cut her off. Let her speak." I ordered. Tsunade ordered the ANBU to stand down, and Arine spoke again.

"A-as I was saying, I like that he is trying to find world peace, but I don't support him, c-considering he's a criminal." She said. The ANBU disappeared in clouds of smoke and Tsunade relaxed.

"Orochimaru also gave me a curse seal." I said. Tsunade's eyes widened.

"He did?" I showed her the side of my neck.

"I do not need to have it sealed. I will only use my seal if I'm running out of Chakra, or need to fly somewhere." I told her,

"Fly?" She asked. I activated my curse seal to show her my wings. She nodded and I turned the seal off.

"Now then, Arine, why did you want to be my apprentice?" I asked, turning to her.

"W-Well, I heard how y-you were always caring and str-strong, and p-protective of friends, and I wanted to be strong like y-you, so I-I could protect my friends." She told me with a blush. I smiled.

"Well, since you're my apprentice, I am going to take you on a training trip." I told her. She managed a smile that was a little bit bigger than last time. I turned to Anko.

"But first, why don't we take some time to get to know each other?" I asked her. She smiled.

"Okay!" Anko said. I turned to Arine.

"Does that sound OK?" I asked. She nodded with a blush.

"Then let's all go to the hot springs!" I shouted, pumping my fist into the air.

**I hopes joo liked it! I am FINALLY (said with exasperation) back from my trip. My family had to take a car ride up to Pennsylvania, (we live in NC) and I didn't get any sleep the whole ride there. What's more, we had to take a bunch of family photos, and my baby cousin Aidan kept crying without my aunt, so that kinda sucked. But he's a pretty nice baby. Although for some reason, he likes to touch my face...Weird...Anyways, I am starting to type Chapter 16, and I hope I can get it out soon!**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *disappears in an explosion of rubber ducks***


	16. Relaxing and A New Toy

**Here is Chapter 16! YAYYYYYYYY!**

**Inner: You're an ass.**

**Me: Seriously? You're still going on about that?**

**Inner: Yes, yes I am.**

**Me: Whatever. Anyways, I hope you like it! *blasts Inner with a laser gun***

**Inner: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?**

**Me: Insulting me. Also, Kay'baka-chan: I'm glad you're happy. ****(emotional music like in those "animal buddy" movies plays)...BWAGHHHHHHH! *laser bursts out of mouth***

**Rule 10: It's all in a day's work beating the shit out of pervs.**

"_Then let's all go to the hot springs!" I shouted, pumping my fist into the air._

**Aaron's POV**

Arine started blushing again, Anko pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head, and Tsunade just kept blinking. We were all silent for a bit, then I said,

"Well? Let's go!" We all started walking off to the hot springs, with me walking like I was at the head of a marching band.

**3 minutes later**

The girls had gone to the girls' side of the hot springs and I had gone with them. It was of course Mixed Bathing Day, the only day I could hang out with Anko on the girls' side without nearly getting clobbered for being there. Everyone's a pervert! SOME people just know how to hide it! :( Hmmph! I sat down across from Anko and Arine, sighing as I let the hot water pull me in like quicksand.

"Thaaaaat feeeels goooooooooood..." I said, letting my troubles melt like ice. Arine blushed as I got in.

"S—" I couldn't even start my sentence because my ears picked up on some form of perverted giggling. Anko and Arine didn't seem to hear it.

"What's wrong Aaron-kun?" Anko asked me. I scowled.

"I'll be right back." I told them, getting out of the hot spring and walking out towards the rest of the village. I turned on my Sharingan and looked around. When you use the Sharingan, it's like you're wearing glasses that make you see every tiny detail on everything you see. I spotted Jiraiya up on the roof of some building next to the hot springs with a telescope and a notepad, furiously writing down something.

"Dammit..." I muttered. Then I put on a black shirt with fire depicted on it. I bent my knees, and hopped up on the top of a house. Then I leaped from roof to roof, finally reaching Jiraiya. He didn't seem to notice me as he was spying on something with a goofy, lecherous grin, perverted giggling and laughing. I reached down and picked up his notepad. I starting reading what was on there, mumbling most of the words under my breath.

"Girl with spiky purple hair...Girl with long black hair...Guy with spiky black hair...*mumbles something unintelligible*like rabbits...Purple haired girl says: Oh Aaron!" I stopped. Aaron? Then I looked back at the pad. Right there, it said, "Purple haired girl says: Oh Aaron!" I started steaming so much that I could have been mistaken for a giant lobster. Then I got an idea and calmed down. I tapped Jiraiya on the shoulder.

"What?" He asked angrily, like I had interrupted his enjoyment, which I had.

"Mind if I take a look?" I asked him. He stared for a moment before gaining a perverted face and handed me the telescope. I held it in the direction he was looking at. There I saw Anko and Arine where I had left them, with Anko getting Arine to have some fun, and the two were having a water fight. I took my eye away from the telescope, and gave it back to the old pervert. Then I cupped my hands around my mouth and shouted,

"Hey Anko-chan! Look who we got here!" Anko stopped playing and looked up at me. She saw Jiraiya, and I grabbed the telescope out of his hands and held it up. Anko grew a mad face and motioned for me to come back. I smirked evilly and grabbed Jiraiya by the back of his shirt.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" Jiraiya asked. I reared back, and threw him onto the ground of the hot springs, creating a crater in the earth. I jumped high up above the springs, flipped, and crashed down, landing on my feet. Jiraiya looked up groaning with a bloody nose. He saw Anko standing above him and started giggling. I saw out of the corner of my eye that Arine was scared out of her mind at something. She was probably scared of Jiraiya peeping on her.

"Shall we, Aaron-kun?" Anko asked evilly. I grinned, baring inch long fangs.

"I think I have something better than just beating him up." I told her. I activated my Mangekyo Sharingan and lifted Jiraiya's face up so he looked in my eyes. His widened, but then he slumped completely, with his nose still bleeding from the impact. I turned my Sharingan off and looked at Anko with a devious grin.

"What'd you do?" She asked, sounding like a mother who was thinking her child had done something clever.

"I did the old "Tsukiyumi, bitch" routine." I told her. She started laughing.

"That'll teach him not to peep on my friend and girlfriend." I said. Arine was still cowering a little. Anko and I both walked back and sat down in the hot water again.

"As I was trying to ask before that happened, could you tell us about yourself?" I asked Arine.

"L-Like what?" She asked me.

"How about your likes, dislikes, affinities, fears, any jutsu, and any past experiences that would be important to know?" I asked. She nodded.

"W-Well, I like red pandas, h-horses, spiders, r-roses, apples, a-any foods that are sw-sweet, canines, f-felines, coloring, and s-sleeping." I nodded while she was talking.

"So you like canines, right?" I asked her. She nodded. I stepped out of the water and made multiple hand signs. Then I slammed my palm into the ground. A large cloud of smoke appeared and revealed Kumo.

"Meet Kumo. He's one of my wolf summons." I told her. Arine smiled a little and Kumo walked over to her.

"How ya doin'?" Kumo asked. He held out his paw and Arine shook it timidly while saying,

"G-Good." I nodded to Kumo and he saluted. Then a cloud of smoke surrounded him and he was gone. I got back in the water.

"Continue." I said.

"I dislike b-bugs, tulips, reptiles, sp-spicy foods, pineapples, long journeys, b-bossy people, and the Ab-Aburame clan." She told us.

"Why do you dislike the Aburame clan?" I asked.

"W-Well, they use bugs and have them inside th-their bodies, and I dislike bugs. Bugs g-gross me out. It's cr-creepy how some of them have those eyes that are like little b-balls that see about a thousand of you. I-It's creepy." She told me. I nodded.

"Makes sense." I commented.

"Any fears?" I then asked.

"I-I'm hemophobic, which means I h-have a fear of bl-blood, achuloisolophobic, which m-means I'm afraid of being alone in the dark, and I'm paraphobic, wh-which means I'm a-afraid of p-perverts." She told us.

"Why perverts? I mean, I can understand that you wouldn't want someone to see you naked." I asked. Her eyes drifted forward and she stared out into space.

"Hima-chan? Hello?" Anko asked, waving her hand in front of the girl's face. Arine slowly kept blinking, then focused her eyes back on us.

"S-Sorry. I was just...remembering something." Arine apologized. I waved my hand dismissively.

"No problem." I said.

"So why perverts?"

"I h-have to tell you something. S-Something I don't really tell people." She explained. I nodded.

"Whenever you're ready." Arine drew in a breath.

"I u-used to have a happy childhood. I was s-seven years old. I h-had been playing in a small park when a shady looking m-man came up to me. I-I got scared, so I r-ran away. Th-the man chased me into an alley. Then he...he..." Tears flooded her eyes, and she couldn't say what happened, but we knew. Anko held her hands up to her face in a completely shocked expression. I balled my fists so hard my knuckles turned snow white.

"I can't believe how horrible the world is." Anko said. I was trying my best to hold in my rage.

"I swear upon my life that if I ever meet him, I'll torture him until he begs for the sweet mercy of death. But I won't give it to him. No, I'll chop off each of his limbs and appendages slowly and painfully, and then let him live as a mutant, disfigured creature so ugly that it makes women, children, and men try to kill themselves when they look at it." I swore with a seething, rage-filled voice, making both Anko and Arine stare in surprise at me.

"You would really d-do that for me?" Arine asked. I nodded.

"Anyone who treats a friend like that deserves to be treated with no mercy or kindness." I said. Tears appeared once more and she hugged me, surprising even herself. When Arine realized she had hugged me, she let go and said,

"S-Sorry." I again waved my hand dismissively.

"It's fine. I didn't mind it." I told her. She started blushing. Suddenly, Pein's voice rung out in my mind.

'_Aaron, we need you back here now._' He said.

'_Why?_' I asked.

'_I have to tell you here._' I sighed. Anko and Arine looked at me strangely.

"What?" Anko asked.

"Nothing."

'_You owe me three days away from you guys._' I told him.

'_OK. Now get to the base._'

'_Fine._' I turned to Anko and Arine.

"I have to go." I said.

"Why?" Arine asked.

"My friends need me." I told them.

"How do you know?" Anko asked me.

"We have this telepathic connection that lets us speak with each other mentally." I explained. They both just kept blinking. I got out of the water. Then I made five hand signs:

_Tiger_

_Dragon_

_Boar_

_Rabbit_

_Dog_

"Fire Dragon Tel—" I couldn't finish because I was instantly pulled up into Heaven. I flew out of the hole and landed on my stomach.

"What the heck?" I asked. Kami was right in front of me. I got up on my feet.

"Hello Aaron." She said.

"Hey Kami-chan." I said back. Kami smiled.

"Why am I here?" I asked.

"I have something to give you." She answered.

"Why?" Her face turned to a completely serious expression.

"Orochimaru is still alive." She told me.

"**WTFPBJT?***" Inner and I both cried out.

"I thought I killed that bastard!" I stated.

"Apparently, he survived, and he wants revenge." I was quiet, taking in the gravity of the situation.

"So what did you want to give me?" I asked after a minute or two of utter silence.

"Follow me." Kami said with a wave of her hand. We both walked inside her huse and to a room I hadn't noticed before. The room was empty except for a piece of the floor which you could see had distinctive lines around it.

"Step on the pad." Kami instructed. We both walked forward and stood on the piece of the floor. The piece jolted, then began to move into the floor. It kept moving a long shaft, and we finally arrived in another room with some kind of vault. Kami walked over to it, and placed her hand on the door. The space her hand occupied glowed, and billions of glowing lines and patterns zoomed out from that point across the vault door. Then the door span and disappeared like it had never been there. Kami gestured for me to go in, and I did. Inside was a pure white room. At the back sat a sheathed katana, hanging proudly from the wall.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the sword.

"That is the Hisōzōsha no Tsurugi(Fire Creator Sword)." She told me.

"Ok then."

"As you know, Orochimaru has the Kusanagi no Tsurugi in his possession. This is the only sword besides the Totsuka no Tsurugi that is as strong."

"So why give it to me?" I asked her.

"A little backstory comes first." She said.

"The three blades, Totsuka, Kusanagi, and Hisōzōsha each belonged to a clan. The Totsuka could pierce the enemy, and seal their physical and spiritual being inside the sake gourd at the hilt. The Kusanagi was the definition of sharp. It could cut through diamond, platinum, and even adamantium, the toughest metal ever found. And the Hisōzōsha could create entities and creatures made of flames, equal in power to the night black fire of Amaterasu, but could be stopped more easily. If the fire were to touch anyone, they would be given a 4th degree burn." Kami said.

"_**4**__**TH**__** DEGREE**_ BURNS?**" I asked in a surprised voice. She nodded.

"The Totsuka belonged to the clan of the Samukaba. The Kusanagi belonged to the Zenreddo. And the Hisōzōsha belonged to yours." Kami began.

"It belonged to the Uchiha?" I asked.

"Let me continue. Only the clans to which the swords belonged to could access their full abilities, except a certain few. The Samukaba became extinct long ago, letting the Totsuka fall into a shroud of mystery and legend. Your brother found that sword, and is one of the certain few to be able to access its full potential. The Kusanagi's current wielder is of course Orochimaru. He is actually a member of the Zenreddo, who are a peaceful people, save for the warriors of their clan, who live in separate villages, hiding in caves and camouflaged locations. And then, the Hisōzōsha's current wielder is you." She continued.

"You're giving the sword to me?" I asked. She nodded and took the sword off of the wall. Then she handed it to me, and I strapped the sheath to my waist.

"It's your birthright." She said with a smile. I was confused.

"My birthright?" I asked. Kami nodded again.

"This sword dates back to the Sage of Six Paths. It belonged to his younger son. The son always used this weapon to protect his allies. Even though the Senju clan originates from him, he gave it to the Uchiha as a gift of goodwill and peace, hoping the two clans could have a friendly relationship. The sword was originally lost, so your clan forged multiple copies of it, and gave one to each clan heir on their 15th birthday. But I found out that you are directly related to the elder brother of the two sons of the Rikudō Sennin." She told me. I just stared in amazement. I was related to the Six Paths Sage?

"That's a lot to take in." I said with a long blown-out breath.

"So that is your birthright. If you wish to summon creatures, you must call them out. I already know of four creatures you could make." Kami told me.

"OK, so what do I do?" I asked her.

"It's simple." She said with a grin.

**Aaaaaaaand…CLIFFHANGER NO JUTSU! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M SO EVIL! BEING EVIL FEELS SO GOOD! Ahem, sorry. Anyways:**

***WTFPBJT?: It means What the fuck Peanut Buttah Jelly Time?**

****That's not an actual type of burn. I just wanted to say how hot the flames are. This is the end of Chapter 16, so I thank you guys for reading.**

**Me: The drawing has been UPLOADED! Here is the webpage: .com/#/d47l7b6. I will also have the page link on my profile. And, you'll never guess what happened to me today. I was sitting at home when everything started shaking all of a sudden. Apparently, we had a minor earthquake in my area. I live in North Carolina, so earthquakes rarely happen. I hadn't expected to be in an earthquake for a while. It was actually my first. I'm very lucky that I had a very small one for my first! AARON IS A GOOD BOY!**

**Tobi: AARON-SENPAI USED A TOBI PHRASE!**

**Me: What the hell's a Tobi phrase?**

**Tobi: Don't use naughty language, Aaron-senpai. A Tobi phrase is a phrase that Tobi uses normally, like "Tobi is a good boy!" or "Tobi likes Pixi Stix!" When someone like Aaron-senpai uses the phrase, they have to give Tobi more Pixi Stix! ^^**

**Me: *mutters a minute-long string of curses under breath* FINE. *tosses Tobi two Pixi Stix*There you go, Tobi.**

**Tobi: TOBI IS SUCH A GOOD BOY!**

**Me: Whatever. Anyways, Kay'baka-chan: I would still like you to draw Rich and May. I hope that's okay with you. I will PM you their traits. Oh, and Arine too, if you could? THANKS! :3**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *disappears in a shower of rubber duckies***


	17. Now I'm going to finish it

**Here is Chapter 17! I WANT MY ROBOT MONKEY SLAVE!**

**Inner: You don't have one.**

**Me: *pulls out a laser blade and a weird looking drill* Then I'll make **_**you**_** into one. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Inner: THE POWER OF CHRIST REPELS YOU, DEMON SPAWN! *Throws holy water at me***

**Me: *it hits my eyes* AGHHH! –THE FUCK, MAN? WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU? I WAS JUST KIDDING!**

**Inner: Sorry.**

**Me: You know what? **_**You**_** can narrate this chapter. I'm going to lie down and try to fucking heal my shitty eyes. *leaves the room***

**Inner: *blinks three times* Ok then. Well folks, here's Chapter 17!**

**Rule 10: If you kick someone's ass once and they get back up, be prepared to kick their ass four times as hard as before.**

**Aaron's POV**

"So I have to 'call forth' the animals to have them help me?" I asked Kami. She nodded.

"You have to basically call forth their being and make it from fire."

"Ok."

"Now you know how to use your sword." Kami said.

"Draw the sword from its sheath." She instructed. I grabbed the hilt with my right hand and slowly pulled the blade out. When I held it in the air, flames quickly surrounded the blade.

"Cool." I commented. Then I tried to put the sword back in, but Kami stopped me.

"I need you to make an animal with the sword." She told me.

"Why?"

"You'll see after." Kami said. I shrugged and held my blade open. Then I closed my eyes and held my sword above me.

"**Himei o agete kudasai, sora no kizoku!** (**Cry out, lord of the skies!**)" I cried out. The flames around the blade intensified, and a massive amount of fire shot out into the sky, forming the shape of a dragon. The dragon opened its mouth, and let out a fierce and proud roar, one that could be heard probably in heaven and below. I sheathed my sword, and the dragon dissipated. Then I looked at Kami.

"So what was that for?" I asked her. She was grinning from ear to ear.

"I'll have to—" Kami was interrupted because four people came running up to us. It was the Shodaime, the Nidaime, the Sandaime, and the Yondaime. The Shodaime spoke up when they reached us.

"What was—" He couldn't finish because he and the other three Kage were staring straight at me with "Holy shit..." expressions. I bowed to each, respectively saying,

"Shodaime-sama, Nidaime-sama, Sandaime-sama, Yondaime-sama." They all bowed back.

"What's wrong?" I asked them, as they were still staring at me, looking me in the eyes.

"The eyes of the elder brother..." The Shodaime said. I was completely confused, so I turned to Kami.

"What's with them?" I asked, jerking a thumb back towards the four Kage. Kami grinned even more.

"See for yourself." She said, making a hand mirror appear in her palm. She gave it to me and I looked closely. Then I gasped.

"My eyes..." If you had seen my eyes, you would have thought you had gone crazy. My eyes were the same as the elder son of the Rikudo Sennin.

"What—How—Wha—" I couldn't speak right.

"You've unlocked it." Kami said.

"Unlocked what?" I asked her.

"The Elder Sharingan." She told me.

"What's the Elder Sharingan?"

"It's the eyes of the elder son of the Rikudo Sennin. The ancestor of the Sharingan. Only his direct descendants can unlock it." Kami answered.

"Whoa..." I said. Kami nodded.

"Now you have to go back, and face Orochimaru." She told me.

"Orochimaru? He's not strong enough to face my former student." The Sandaime said.

"I might not have been before, but..." I said, pulling out my sword, letting flames surround the blade, and held it pointed upwards.

"**CRY OUT, LORD OF THE SKIES!**" I shouted as a stream of fire shot out of my blade. It then formed a blazing dragon, which roared loudly.

"The Hisōzōsha..." The four Kage said in unison. I smirked.

"It's my birthright." I told them proudly. Then I sheathed the sword.

"I'll see you all later." I said with a two finger salute. I walked towards the hole and jumped into it, landing down where I had been lifted up, surprising Anko and Arine.

"Where were you?" Anko asked.

"Heaven." I simply answered. Anko raised an eyebrow.

"Literally. I know Kami."

"Really?" Arine asked. I proceeded to explain how I had met Kami when I was younger.

"W-Wow." Arine said. I nodded.

"I still have to go to my friends." I told them. I kissed Anko on the cheek, waved goodbye to Arine, and made five hand signs:

_Tiger_

_Dragon_

_Boar_

_Rabbit_

_Dog_

A torrent of fire surrounded me.

"I'll see you both soon." I said with a two finger salute. Anko waved, and Arine,

"S-See you soon, Aaron." The fire formed a dragon's head, completely blocking me from their view. The dragon head then formed a complete body.

"IIIII'm ouut!" I announced, letting the dragon slither through the air, and disappear into the clouds.

**Akatsuki Normal POV**

Rich, May, Konan, Pein, Kisame, Itachi, Zetsu, Tobi had been waiting for thirty minutes for Aaron to come.

"Where the mother-fuckin' hell is that bastard?" Hidan asked.

"He should have been here already." Pein told them. Suddenly, a dragon made of fire crashed down through the roof of the base and landed on the floor, scorching where it landed. Everyone got ready to fight. The flames disappeared to reveal Aaron standing there with his arms crossed, grinning.

"'Sup?" He asked.

"How the hell did you do that?" Rich asked.

"I made it up." Aaron told them.

**Aaron's POV**

Everyone was eyeing the sword strapped to my side.

"What the fuck's that?" Hidan asked, pointing to it. I grinned.

"Rich and May won't know what this is, but you all will." I told them. They were confused.

"Follow me outside." I ordered. They all walked behind me as the boulder rolled away and rolled back. I told them to stand back. Then I walked down the hill and stood in the clearing right next to the hill. Then I drew my sword and held it up in one stroke.

"**CRY OUT, LORD OF THE SKIES!**" I shouted. The river of flames once more burst from my katana, and formed a mighty dragon of fire, which once more roared.

"Holy shit..." Everyone chorused. I smirked.

"The Hisōzōsha..." Pein said. I sheathed my sword and walked back to them.

"What a 'Hisōzōsha'?" Rich asked. Pein was about to speak when I stopped him.

"I'll tell them." I said. He nodded and I told them all the story of the three blades, and how I was a direct descendant of the elder son of the Sage of Six Paths.

"_You_? You honestly fucking think you're a shitty descendant of that fucker?" Hidan asked. I sighed. Then I activated my Elder Sharingan, a white line traveling along my eyes, revealing more and more of the Sharingan as it moved.. Everyone's jaws broke through the ground and they scooped up dirt in their mouths as they brought them back up. Then they all started choking on it. Then they spit it out.

"You have the eyes of the elder son..." Pein said dumbly.

"No shit." I said, rolling my eyes.

"I'm going to face Orochimaru by myself." I said to everyone.

"How did you know **he was coming?**" Zetsu asked.

"Kami." I told them. They all understood now.

"I'm not going to let you fight him alone, Otouto." Itachi told me. I shook my head.

"This is my fight and my fight alone. He started it by taking my friend. Now I'm going to finish it." I said.

"I'm going to hurt him like he badmouthed Senor Nacho." I told them.

"Who's 'Senor Nacho'?" Konan asked.

"A backstory will explain. I was age seven, playing with my frog named Senor Nacho. He was my pet, and he liked to hop around. One day, we were playing, and a hungry hawk came down, and tried to attack me. Senor Nacho saw that I was in danger, and he sacrificed himself to save me from the hawk. It grabbed him with its claws and impaled him. Then it took him away somewhere, I never saw Senor Nacho again. He was bravest little frog who ever lived." I told them. They were all silent for a few moments.

"That's stupid." Kisame finally said. My face turned to pure fury.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN CORPSE! AND THEN I'LL"

*This part is censored due to enough cursing to get Aaron into hell and very serious threats*

When I had finished threatening Kisame, I grabbed my sword and started chasing him around the base, screaming bloody murder and so many profanities that my father would have slapped me a billion times for saying. I eventually chased him back to where everyone else was, and Kisame hid behind Konan while every single male member of the Akatsuki, _and_ Rich and May had to restrain me from turning him into a special at a Japanese restaurant. Kakuzu had to grab me with his tentacles, and I still had enough of myself left in me to make a joke.

"DON'T RAPE ME WITH YOUR TENTACLES!" I shouted. Everyone stopped what they were doing and started laughing hard, except for Itachi, who's too badass for such things, and Kakuzu, who scowled.

"I'll have you know that I don't rape people with these. And if I were to rape someone, it sure as HELL wouldn't be _you_." He told me.

"I know. That joke just _had_ to be made." I turned back to Kisame.

"If you ever say anything bad about Senor Nacho again, I'll torture you endlessly." I told him. He nodded, and everyone let go of me. Then I felt something...something evil. It felt corrupted, twisted. Like the most sickening thing ever. And only one name could describe it: Orochimaru.

"He's coming." I told them.

"How do you know?" Pein asked.

"I can sense him coming this way." I drew my sword out.

"I'm going. No one is to follow me." I ordered. It was the evening; the perfect scene for an epic battle between good and evil. I walked to a clearing where I sensed Orochimaru's chakra heading towards. After sheathing my katana and waiting a few minutes, Orochimaru finally appeared with some 500 shinobi behind him.

"Ahh, Hiroshi-kun, how are you~?" He asked.

"I believe you already know I'm pissed." I said curtly.

"Well, you won't feel anything soon." Orochimaru said with a laugh. He saw my katana.

"You think a regular sword can stop me? I have the Kusanagi, insolent fool!" Orochimaru said. I smirked.

"Oh, this is no ordinary sword." I told him.

"This..." I drew my katana and held it out in front of me. Flames burst around the blade.

"is the Hisōzōsha." I finished.

**CLIFFHANGER NO JUTSU AGAIN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**So in my last chapter I said that fourth degree burns don't exist. Someone commented that they do. So I looked it up. They were right. So ignore that two asterisk explanation in the previous chapter, please. I have to go to the open house for my new school today. Ughhhhh. I really wanted to keep typing. It's one of the things I find solace in. But, orientation is mandatory, so screw that. I'm also starting school on in two days, so that sucks as well. I'll have less time for my stories because of my fuckin' homework. Dammit. Hope you guys like this chapter, and I'll be out with Chapter 18 soon!**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *disappears in a shower of rubber duckies***


	18. VENDETTA!

**CHAPTER 18! YAYYYYYYY! IT'S AWESOMETASTILISTIC! Dammit…**

**Tobi: Aaron-senpai, you have to give Tobi Pixi Stix!**

**Me: Yeah yeah, I fuckin' know. *tosses Tobi a Pixi Stix packet* There you go.**

**Tobi: *grabs packet and eats viciously* OMNOMNOMNOM! Oooooo, Tobi feels…TOBI FEELS BETTER THAN HE HAS IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE! AARON-SENPAI! WHAT WAS IN THE PIXI STIX? TOBI HAS TO KNOW WHAT IS MAKING HIM FEEL SO GOOD! :D**

**Me: Uh, let me check. *picks wrapper off of the floor* New Tastier Flavor…*mutters*…NEW WEED FLAVOR? Wait, Hidan gave me these! HIDAN! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU! *storms off to Hidan's room***

**In Background: **

**Hidan: What up, ya bastard? *Aaron grabs Hidan by the shirt***

**Aaron: YOU MADE ME GIVE TOBI WEED IN THE FORM OF PIXI STIX! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD! *proceeds to beat the shit out of Hidan***

**Hidan: OW! HEY! WHAT THE FUCK? DAMMIT! *is left on floor bleeding and bruised***

**Me: *walks back to Tobi* Tobi, you aren't getting any of these ever again. *Takes all his Weed flavor Pixi Stix and burns them with a grand fireball***

**Tobi: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! TOBI'S PIXI STIX! *turns to Aaron* TOBI IS GOING TO KILL YOU!**

**Me: Relax, I always keep spares in case I use too many Tobi words or phrases. *Tosses Tobi another one* That's for your compensation.**

**Tobi: YAYYYYY! ^^ *gobbles down packet* OOOOOOO, TOBI IS FEELING EVEN MORE GOOD! YAYYYYYYYYYY!**

**Me: *looks at wrapper* COCAINE? KISAME! YOUR ASS IS MINE!**

**Rule 11: If you've got power **_**and**_** a vendetta: VENDETTA!**

**Aaron's POV**

Orochimaru was wide-eyed.

"The Hisōzōsha? How did you get that?" He asked me.

"I have friends in high places." I simply told him. I could hear Kami mentally groaning at me.

'_Oh lighten up. It was kinda funny._' I told her.

'_Fine._'

'_Have you been listening in on this the whole time?_' I asked.

'_Mayyyybe._'

'_Whatever._' I focused on the matter at hand.

"Oh, and it's my birthright." I added.

"Your birthright?" Orochimaru asked. I grinned. A white line flashed across each of my eyes at the same time, like in an anime when they have that moment where a line of light sweeps across someone's glasses, changing them into the Elder Sharingan.

"Well, Hiroshi-kun, not only will I be taking your life, but your eyes as well. Kukuku..." Orochimaru said with an evil grin. I grinned right back at him.

"No you aren't. You are going to pay for trying to change my friend, and giving Anko that damned seal. I'll take you on alone." I told Orochimaru. He flashed me an evil smile.

"Go attack his friends. I have a score to settle." Orochimaru ordered his minions. They all nodded, and leaped away. We both stood there in silence for a few minutes, the wind whipping through the clearing. Then Orochimaru quickly made many hand signs and slammed his palm into the ground. A large puff of smoke appeared behind him and revealed Manda.

I bared my fangs in a delighted grin.

"Now _this_ is what I've been waiting for." I said. Orochimaru then hopped on top of Manda, and the massive purple snake charged. I drew my sword and raised it up in the air, letting the flames coat the blade.

"**TAKE FLIGHT, IMMORTAL BIRD OF THE FLAMES!**" I shouted. A stream of spinning fire erupted into the sky from my blade, forming a massive phoenix which screeched, letting the whole world hear its cry. I pointed my sword at Manda, and the bird opened its beak wide. A blast of flames shot out of its mouth and hit Manda. The giant snake was blown back, letting Orochimaru fall to the ground. He got back up and brought the Kusanagi out with his tongue.

"So, hand-to-hand combat, eh Hiroshi-kun?" Orochimaru asked. I grinned. We both started charging at each other. Our swords clanged together, their ring echoing throughout the forest. Our swords kept matching each other's blows, in an epic battle of strength and power. We broke apart. Suddenly, a giant sword swiped at Orochimaru. The sannin dodged away, letting the sword churn up earthen terrain. I looked behind me. There stood Itachi's Susanoo, holding the Totsuka.

"Itachi." I said. Itachi's Susanoo disappeared and my Otouto appeared on the ground next to me.

"Otouto." Itachi said with a nod and a smile.

"Itachi-kun~." Orochimaru acknowledged.

"Finally come to give me your body?" The pedo asked.

"I'd rather let Kisame get drunk and fuck me than give you my body, or my brother's, you gay prick." Itachi said coldly. (I have nothing against gays. In fact, I myself am not gay, but support the fact that everyone deserves to do what they wish with their lives. I say, "If they're gay and wanna fuck someone, let 'em do it! If they're lesbians and are having sex, film it and add it to your porn stash!" XD Just kidding about the porn.) Orochimaru looked hurt.

"You shouldn't say such mean things, Itachi-kun." He said innocently. Itachi turned to face me.

"Shall we, brother?" He asked. I grinned with a fang showing.

"Let's shall." I told him. We both activated our Mangekyo Sharingan.

"Susanoo!" We both shouted enthusiastically. Our Susanoos shone into existence around us. My sword grew gigantically, and my Susanoo grabbed it in its right hand. Then we both started slashing at Orochimaru, giving the pedophilic snake very little time to dodge. I managed to cut him a few times, but he just shed his skin once and he was alright.

"Itachi, go back." My brother turned to me.

"Why?" He asked.

"It's about to get very hot up in here." I told him.

"Did you mean me, Hiroshi-kun, or something else?" Orochimaru asked pervertedly. I had my Susanoo flip him off. Itachi's Susanoo nodded and it disappeared. Then he ran back to the base. I made my Susanoo disappear, and then I held my sword up to the skies.

"**COME FORTH ESSENCE OF MY BEING, AND VANQUISH THE ENEMY WHO HAS WRONGED ME!**" I screamed to the heavens. The fire on my sword dimmed.

"I'm so sorry Hiroshi-kun." Orochimaru said pitifully.

"But your attack did not—" He couldn't finish because the flames grew brighter than ever, and a swirling typhoon of heat and fire flew high into the sky. I manifested into a large Chinese dragon, one that was possibly the size of the five great Shinobi Nations combined together.

"How did you—"

"**STRIKE!**" I commanded, not letting the pedo finish. The dragon started speeding down towards the sannin. I swear, I could hear that music they play in dramatic scenes in movies with action. I think it's called "Requiem" or some chiz like that junk. The scorching dragon finally touched the ground, exploding, and turning the snake sannin to charred dust. (Is that even possible?) I sheathed my sword. Then I looked over where the former pedophile had been before his death. There I saw the Kusanagi lying on the ground away from the charred pile of ash. I walked over there and picked it up.

"It's my lucky day. I got a spoil of war." I commented, throwing the sword into the air and catching it multiple times. Then I made five hand signs. A dragon head of fire enveloped me, and I was transported to Konoha. Specifically, the Hokage's office. Tsunade cried out as I burst through the ceiling and onto the floor.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Tsunade said.

"Hello, Tsunade." I said cheerfully.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUST BURST THROUGH THE CEILING? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT'S GOING TO COST?" She asked me, yelling at the top of her lungs.

"I burst through the ceiling because of my jutsu. And you'll be able to pay off the costs with what I'm about to show you." I told her. Tsunade calmed down. I held out the Kusanagi.

"Is that..." She started.

"The Kusanagi no Tsurugi." I finished. I walked over and set it on her desk.

"I advise that you should open a museum placing artifacts in it for peoples' enjoyment." I told Tsunade. She nodded dumbly.

"How did you get it?" She asked me.

"Orochimaru was still alive. I put a stop to that." I answered.

"How?" Tsunade pressed. I drew my katana. Flames burst to life around the blade.

"With my birthright." I told her.

"Your birthright?" I closed my eyes and activated my Elder Sharingan. Then I opened them. She gasped loudly.

"The elder son's eyes..." She said in amazement.

"I'm one of his descendants." I said. She was silent for a few minutes.

"Is that the Hisōzōsha?" She asked. I nodded.

"I thought it was a myth; A simple legend..." Tsunade said.

"It's not." She was silent once more.

"Well, I must go see my girlfriend and apprentice, so...Bye!" I announced, leaping out of the scorched hole in the ceiling and bounding on the rooftops. Anko and Arine were probably going to be at the dango shack, so I headed there. Anko and Arine hadn't noticed me, so I landed on the roof of the dango shack gracefully. Then I applied a constant stream of chakra to my feet. I walked over and peeked down at Arine and Anko, who were hungrily eating dango. I walked and peeked my head down, saying,

"'Sup?" Arine nearly had a heart attack, and Anko dropped her dango.

"What the hell?" Anko asked.

"I just stopped by and wanted to say hello." Then I made puppy-dog eyes, being the only male besides Madara who could succeed because I'm smexilicious! XD

"You didn't have to be so mean, Anko-chan." I said in a five-year old's voice, which Anko tried to resist, but failed and said,

"I'm sorry." I hugged her, and a lot of people went,

"AWW!" I scowled at them.

"Don't you people have anything better to do?" I asked. They all stopped and continued their daily lives. I leaped down from the underside of the roof.

"I have a few minutes to spare before I have to get back to my friends and rest." I told them.

"Well then, let's make them count." Anko said. I ordered ten sticks of dango and sat down next to Arine.

"So, you still haven't told us any jutsu you can do."I commented to Arine. She nodded and began.

"I have my Shi no Torrapu: Chikyū no Shōtotsu (Death Trap: Collision of the Earth), my Mizu no Geijitsu: Aisumīra no keimusho (Water art: Ice mirror prison), my Doton: Jigoku no banken (Earth Release: Hell-hound), my Suiton: Tora no Kawa (Water Release: River of Tigers), and my Kyūkyoku no Hyōton: Doragon kyoei-shin (Ultimate Ice Release: Dragon Vanity) jutsu." Arine told us. I nodded. Then we spent the few minutes I had talking about random things. I told Anko that the fact that Orochimaru was killed would soon sweep the Shinobi Nations. _So_, if anyone gave her a hard time, she could tell them her boyfriend was the one who took Orochimaru down. When my time was up, I kissed Anko on the cheek, hugged Arine, making her blush deeply, and transported myself to the Akatsuki base. Time to get some sleep.

**Same for me! It's 4:00 AM, I'm tired as hell, so good night! *passes out and started snoring and drooling***

**Inner: What a wuss.**

**Me: *grabs laser gun and shoots Inner* Shut up. I'm trying to get some sleep.**

**Also, whoever can guess where the phrase, "VENDETTA!" came from will get some meth-flavored Ring Pops that Kakuzu gave me after saying he bought them for free. Weird... Anyways,**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *disappears in a shower of rubber duckies***


	19. Grasswhistling and a Beautiful Night

**I got school tomorrow, and I DON'T WANNA GO! NUUUUUUU!**

**Tobi: Aaron-senpai, what's school?**

**Me: *sighs* School is this place where you have to learn stuff and junk for your 'future'.**

**Tobi: Tobi thinks that sounds fun!**

**Me: Trust me, it doesn't. Here's Chapter 19!**

**Rule 12: Have something to find solace in.**

**Aaron's POV**

**3 Hours Later**

I couldn't sleep. It was midnight. So I got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. I made myself a glass of warm milk, but it did nothing to help me sleep. I decided to go outside and watch the stars. The entire Akatsuki base was big, and I mean _big_. It was about the size of the White House, if that's anything to go by. The kitchen was near the back. So I just kept walking and walking.

**Normal POV**

Aaron made it all to the door and got out. Little did he know, a certain blue-haired individual was watching him, and wondering what he was doing.

**?'s POV (I'm sure you know who)**

What is he doing? Why is he going outside? Maybe I should follow him. Ok, I'll see what he's doing. I followed him outside to see where he was going. He jumped up to the top of the hill, where a lone tree sat. I wonder what he's going to do.

**Aaron's PV**

I sat down by the only tree, looking up at the full moon and the stars.

"I wish I could sleep." I said. I just kept staring at the stars, thinking about life and such things.

"What are you doing?" A female voice called out. I jumped back a little and found Konan right next to me.

"Oh. I was just looking up at the stars, thinking." I told her.

"About what?" She asked.

"Life, how the universe revolves, our place in the natural order." I answered. She nodded. I started looking around.

"What are you looking for?" Konan asked me.

"A grass blade or a leaf." I said.

"Why that?"She asked.

"You'll see." I kept looking around. Despite the top of the hill being covered in short grass I was looking for the perfect blade. I decided to get a leaf from the tree. So I hopped on a branch and snagged a leaf from it. Then I hopped down.

"So why were you looking for that?" Konan questioned.

"Watch." I said. I put the leaf to my lips and began to blow. A melodious sound began to travel through air. Konan was amazed.

"What was that?" She asked when I finished.

"It's called grasswhistling."

"What's grasswhistling?" Konan asked.

"It's when you take a leaf or a blade of grass and blow on it, creating a musical sound."

"It sounded amazing."

"Well, when I was a kid, I first grasswhistled when I was still in school. It was weird, though, because I was the only one in my entire school who could do it. A lot of the time, people would gather around me when we had a break, and I would grasswhistle for them."

"Wow..."

"In fact, some people in my school thought I was of elvish descent."

"Elvish?"

"If someone's of elvish descent, they're an elf. Elves are people of fantasy. It's said that elves were regular humans who were born from the spirit of the forest."

"What does an elf look like?"

"An elf looks like a regular human, but normally with long hair, and they have long pointy ears. And they're also known for being very adept at grasswhistling, and could even make music from it." I said. She understood now.

"What's school?" Konan asked.

"Well," I told her that school is a place in that other universe where you have to go to learn things to have a better future, get a job, settle down, raise a family, then die a happy old person. She just kept blinking after I explained.

"Do you want me to grasswhistle some more?" I asked Konan.

"Sure." She said. I put the leaf up to my mouth once more and began to play.

**Akatsuki minus Konan POV**

Everyone walked out of their rooms sleepily. They had been woken up by some kind of music playing nearby.

"What the fuck's that?" Hidan asked angrily.

"I don't know. Let's go check it out, un." Deidara said. Everyone started walking towards the front door.

"Wait. Where's Konan?" Pein asked. Everyone shrugged.

"Aaron's gone as well. Where'd he go?" May asked after checking Aaron's room. Everyone but Rich, May, Pein, and Tobi started thinking, then all got nosebleeds from their thoughts. Pein started fuming, though. Rich saw his expression and said,

"Don't worry, Pein. He's not screwing Konan behind your back." Making May blush at the perverted thought.

"Your minions just have perverted minds." Everyone but May, Tobi and Pein started glaring at Rich.

"WE'RE NOT FUCKING MINIONS (UN)!" They all shouted.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY, SO HE'S NOT A MINION!" Tobi yelled.

"Whatever." Rich said, shrugging.

"_Anyways_, let's go see what that noise is." Pein said, making sure to glare at everyone to get them to shut the hell up. Everyone walked outside the base. They could hear the music coming from the top of the hill. So everyone started jumping up the side of the hill to the top. When they got up there, everyone was staring at Aaron sitting at the trunk of a tree, blowing into a leaf and making music, with Konan watching intently. (You should actually do this with a blade of grass. Look for Bermuda grass. It's the best type for it. If you want to learn how to grasswhistle (you can't actually make music with it. I just thought it would sound cool.) (well, I think you can't. Maybe if you combined differently pitched blows, you could), you can search it up on the internet. I suggest WikiHow.) When he finished, everyone was staring at him. The way he looked was simply indescribable. His tan skin glowed like candlelight in the pale moonbeams. His black hair was lit up by the stars above, glowing and shimmering like one of their kind. His blue-green eyes had a separate light to them, as though each eye had been split into two different colors. And the leaf he had played kept changing color: from green to yellow, from yellow to light green, from light green to teal, and back to green. It all looked ethereal, as if it was straight out of legend, like nothing they had ever seen before.

**Aaron's POV**

I finished. Everyone was staring at me.

"What?" I asked. They all seemed transfixed on me.

"What, is there something out of place?" I asked them. They kept staring.

"Well, I'm going back to bed." I told everyone. Then I hopped back down to the base and got in my bed.

**Akatsuki POV**

"OK, everyone saw how he looked, right?" Rich asked. Everyone nodded.

**Well, that's Chapter 19! Since I start school in the morning, which is Thursday, I'll try to update by Saturday. That's gonna be my thing until the end of the school year. Since I have to get up at 6:00AM (WHY, JASHIN-SAMA? WHYYY?), because my schooltime starts at 7:30 (AGAIN, WHY?), I have to try to get some sleep. Kay'baka-chan, I've PMed you something important, and I hope you'll read it after this chapter. I thank you all for being patient. So I'll try to get Chapter 20 out by Saturday, but that's going to be a challenge for me. LUCKILY, since, as previously stated, my schooltime starts at 7:30, I get out at 2:30! YAY! So I think I might be able to get Chapter 20 in by the time the first two days are over for my schooltime. Thank you all.**

**Until next time,**

***says unenthusiastically, and tiredly* Ja Ne. *a shower of puppies flies out* Okay, *yawn* who the hell forgot to make it a shower of rubber ducks? Aw, I don't care. I'm getting some sleep. Bye.**


	20. HALLOWEEN! HECK YEAH!

**It's finally out! I made it in one whole day! IT'S A NEW RECORD! YAY! Anyways, I was at my first day of school today, AND IT WAS SO CONFUSING! AHHHHHHBLABLABLABLABLABLA!**

**Tobi: Why is Aaron-senpai making funny noises?**

**Me: I got so confused at school.**

**Tobi: Why did Aaron-senpai get confused?**

**Me: Because the school has so many hallways, and I had to search for my classroom and was almost late to math.**

**Tobi: Tobi wants to know what 'math' is, Aaron-senpai!**

**Me: Inner will narrate this while I talk to Tobi.**

**Inner: That's not fair!**

**Me: Spending time with Tobi is unfair. You got lucky. Now shut up and read the goddamn chapter. *starts telling Tobi about math and all the school subjects and that kind of shiz***

**Inner: *sighs* Whatever. Here's Chapter 20.**

**Rule 14: Holidays are a MUST.**

**Aaron's POV**

I woke up with a yawn at 10:00. After last night, I had a great sleep, like I was protected by a mysterious force. Immediately after waking up, I went into the kitchen and got some coffee, I drank it down quickly, and placed the cup in the sink. Then I walked into the living room. Everyone was in there

"Good morning everyone!" I said loudly. Everyone turned to face me and were transfixed again.

"What?" I asked them. They again kept staring.

"Seriously, what?" I asked.

"There's something different about you." Rich said.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"You look different."

"What?"

"Your ears seem longer, and your skin's, like, glowing." I blinked.

"Ok, then." I said. I sat down on one of the couches.

"So are we doing anything today?" I asked them.

"No, I think we're all going to relax today." Pein told us.

"Wait, what day is today?"

"Why do you want to know?" Konan asked me.

"Just for the sake of wanting to know." I said.

"Well, today is October 31st." Rich, May, and I's eyes all bugged.

"IT'S HALLOWEEN?" We shouted in unison.

"What the fuck's Halloween?" Hidan asked.

"What is Halloween? WHAT IS HALLOWEEN? Halloween is one of the best holidays EVER!" I shouted.

"Why?" Pein asked.

"When you're a kid, you get to dress up in a creepy costume, go to peoples' houses, and they give you candy! When you're an adult, you can dress up, AND YOU CAN PARTY YOUR FREAKIN' ASS OFF!" Rich said gleefully. Everyone's eyes shone at the word party. If there was one thing the Akatsuki loved more than killing people, it was partying.

"TOBI WANTS TO PARTY!" Tobi said/yelled.

"THEN LET'S PARTY!" I shouted, pumping my fist in the air. Everyone cheered, even Itachi, who's too badass to _not_ cheer at the mention of a party.

"Okay everyone, you're gonna need the most frightening costume you can think of." Kakuzu opened his mouth to say that he wouldn't spend his "precious money", but I interjected (I'm a vast well of knowledge and terms. BOOYAA!).

"Kakuzu, if you don't spend anything, Itachi and I are both going to burn everything you own, _and_ all your money." He smirked.

"You don't even know where I keep it."

"Fifth drawer on your dresser; open it up, and dig through all the clothes. There's a knob which you twist to unlock a secret compartment in your wall. Reach your hand in, tap the third button, and another secret compartment opens up under your bed. Crack open the safe door and it's in a sealing scroll." I said emotionlessly. Everyone but Itachi gawped—A) Because he's badass, and B) He and I found it together—especially Kakuzu.

"You still won't be able to get it before I find a new hiding spot!" He said hopefully. I grinned, reached into my pocket, and pulled out his wallet. It had the words "No Touching!" in gold on it. Kakuzu's jaw broke through the floor.

"How did you—"

"It was easy."

"But how did you—"

"I will never tell." He scowled. Then he broke down.

"My money!" Tobi came over and patted him on the back.

"It's okay Kakuzu-senpai." Tobi said semi-quietly. After a few minutes of silence, I started preparing everyone.

"Everyone, you have a job to do before you can receive your costume." I began.

"Kakuzu, Tobi, and Kisame, go out and buy candy, sake, costumes, and some lighting." I ordered, pointing to the three. Kakuzu scowled and I pulled out my sword. Then I held it over his wallet in a threatening way. He would have gone to an emo corner if I hadn't given him an order. Man, that would've been Youtube gold. Deidara cheered because he didn't have to be with the orange hyperball. I smirked and said,

"You're not out of the woods yet, Deidara. You and Sasori are in charge of decorating the base." He withdrew his cheer.

"If you two fight at all, Sasori, I will burn every single one of your puppets to the ground, and Deidara, I'll lock you in the same room as Tobi for five days, and tell him you want to continually play tea party with him." I added, making Sasori nod and Deidara start shivering.

"Hidan, help them by drawing some pentagrams and satanic shit like that to make the base seem more evil." Hidan let out a loud "Fuck yeah!" I pointed to Zetsu.

"Zetsu, you're also on decoration duty. Get some venus flytraps and some deadly looking plants and place them in here. Make sure they won't eat anyone." I told him. Zetsu nodded, and dug into the ground.

"May and I will pick out costumes for everyone." I said.

"Pein and Konan will help us." Konan looked delighted while Pein shrugged.

"Rich will help with whatever Itachi's doing..."

"And Itachi will...um..." I couldn't think of something for him to do. Itachi looked like he was thinking,

'_Please let it be something with tomatoes or pocky._'

"Itachi can slather the walls in tomato sauce to look like blood, and can help keep Sasori and Deidara under control." I said. Itachi just said,

"Hn." But I knew what it meant. He was happy.

"Thank Kami I'm an Uchiha!" I said, voicing my thoughts out loud.

"What'd he say, un?" Deidara asked. I gave Kisame a look that said, "Don't tell them." He nodded.

"I shall never tell! MUAHAHAHAHA!" I said, making lightning flash outside and cackling maniacally. Everyone stared.

"Anyways, once Pein, Konan, May and I decide on the costumes, we will tell Kisame, Tobi, and Kakuzu what they are. Now GO!" I announced. Everyone started scrambling for what they had to do. I told Pein, Konan, and May to follow me. I got on Bob and opened up Google. It was actually nighttime because everyone had taken the daytime to prepare.

"Let's start with Kisame." I said.

"What kind of costume should Kisame wear?" Everyone thought. And kept thinking.

"You know, I'm just randomly saying this, but Halloween always makes me think of this one saying that repeats in my head, in a voice that I can only recognize as my mother's." I said with no pretext.

"What is it?" Konan asked.

**Normal POV (You'll see why soon enough) **

"It's: 'Light and dark, forever linked. Without light, there can be no shadows, and without darkness, the righteous have no purpose. Their fates are shackled together as one.'" Aaron told them. The full moon was shining in through a window. For just a minute, the moonbeams shone brighter than usual upon him. His body seemed to glow, in a way. Everyone but him could see it, but no one decided to say anything about it.

"Wow, that could make for quite a beautiful piece of poetry." May commented.

"After thinking of that, I would—and still do—hear my mother's voice again, this time saying, 'Remember this, my son. The light will always protect you if you keep it near.' Then I would just focus on other things." He said. Everyone seemed intruiged by what he had said. Then, he let out a large and long yawn.

"Man, *yawn* I'm already tired? We should get through *yawn* at least half the costumes before *yawn* I pass out." He said with another yawn. So they got back to thinking.

"You know, it'd be ironic to see Kisame as a land creature." Pein said thoughtfully. Aaron got an idea.

"I've got just the thing!" He said excitedly. Quickly, he typed in something, He hit enter and billions of pictures popped up. Then he turned the computer towards the other people.

"What's a werewolf?" Pein asked.

**Aaron's POV**

"A werewolf is like a half-man half-wolf creature. I guess that would mean Kisame's a wereshark then." I explained.

"Can you tell us more?" Konan asked.

"Well, originally in legends and myths, the werewolf started out as a man who had gotten bit by a wolf with some kind of disease. Every night during the full moon, he would change into a hideous beast that couldn't control itself, and would kill thousands of livestock, leaving their animal blood wherever it went." I said in a spooky voice. May looked a little bit frightened.

"Sounds fascinating." Pein said.

"So *yawn*, Kisame's a werewolf. Next is Hidan. I think if he just looked like he did during his rituals, and wore a black cloak, he'd be a perfect Grim Reaper." I suggested.

"What's a Grim Reaper?" Came the question from Konan.

"Well, not _a_ Grim Reaper, _the_ Grim Reaper. You know how Death appeared during that party we had?" I said and asked. They both nodded.

"The Grim Reaper is what Death is. The legend about him is that whenever someone dies, he comes and takes their soul to the underworld." I explained. They both made understanding faces.

"But once you meet the guy, you know some of that's a load of junk." I added. Death suddenly appeared in the corner of the room.

"It _is not_!" He said.

"It is. Your collection rate has gone way down since people invented bungee cords, safety trampolines, regular trampolines, safety gear, and the seatbelt. They're cheating you." I countered. He crossed his arms and flipped me off.

"Fuck you." And with that, he was gone. I blinked two times.

"So anyways," I began, changing the subject.

"Hidan's Death. Next is Itachi."

"He could be a vampire." May suggested.

"Yeah, I think that'd look cool." I said.

"What's a vampire?" I sighed.

"The literally bloodsucking mortal enemy of the werewolf. Hides in the shadows, then bites their victims' necks, drinking their blood and also turning them into vampires." I quickly said.

"What do they look like?" I typed in vampire and showed the pictures to Konan and Pein.

"Ohh."

"So Itachi's a vampire. Next is Tobi." We all thought. Tobi's too cute like a puppy to be scary.

"You know what'd actually be scary?" I asked them.

"What?"

"Tobi knowing what weed is and dressing up as a giant bag of it." Everyone shivered as if death was hovering over them. I looked up at the ceiling. Death was hanging like those spies who place their hands and feet on the beams of the ceiling.

"GET OUTTA HERE YA CREEPER!" I shouted. Death hissed like a cat and went away in a cloud of smoke.

"So anyways..." We all kept thinking.

"He could just be a lollipop." I suggested. We all shrugged. Tobi would probably try to lick himself all night to see what a lolly tastes like.

"Next is you guys."

"Konan could be an angel, and you could be a zombie." I said while facing Pein. He scowled.

"Oh stop it. I already know about you, Nagato, and I know that's just a dead body scowling at me. It's already a zombie." I said, making a "oh stop it" expression. He stopped scowling.

"So now that's six people, right? *yaaaaaaaawn* Okay, I think I could be a demon samurai, since I have a flaming katana, May could be...um...May, what _do_ you want to be?" I asked.

"I kinda always wanted to be Frankenstein's bride. My mother wouldn't let me because I'd 'scare the other kids to death'." She told me.

"Ok, May is Frankenstein's Bride, and" I was cut off by Pein and Konan.

"Who's 'Frankenstein's Bride'?" They asked. I searched up Frankenstein and showed them the images.

"Frankenstein," I got images of Frankenstein's bride.

"Frankenstein's bride." They nodded.

"Now, that just leaves Zetsu, Kakuzu, Rich, Sasori, and Deidara." I said. Then I let out the biggest yawn ever.

"I'm going to sleep for a bit. Wake me up when everyone's back and ready to change into their costumes." I ordered as I walked out the door. Then I got to my room, fell on my bed, and drifted off into a wonderland of black.

**Normal POV**

Aaron was drifting off to sleep while May, Konan, and Pein were deciding on all the costumes. Little did he know, a metamorphosis was occurring as he slumbered peacefully.

**I'm so tired as well.**

**Hidan: I WILL SACRIFICE YOU!**

**Me: WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M SO GODDAMN TIRED, AND YOU GO ABOUT PREACHING ABOUT YOUR SHITTY GOD, AND TRYING TO FUCKING SACRIFICE ME! ****SHUT THE HELL UP****! *storms off to room***

**Hidan: Who shit in his fucking dinner?**

**Kay'baka-chan: Thank you for hoping that. :)**

**Whoever can guess where the phrase "VENDETTA!" from the last chapter, and the phrase "Light and dark, forever linked. Without light, there can be no shadows, and without darkness, the righteous have no purpose. Their fates are shackled together as one." came from gets not one, BUT _TWO_ COOKIES! So guess, guess, guess! I'm tired, so see ya!**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *a shower of puppies flies out* Oh great. Who the fuck forgot-...Ya know what? I'll just stick with the puppies. Well, that could draw in some animal abuse charges...I'll have to think.**

**See ya! *walks out door***


	21. Illyon

**I had my second day of school, and now it's the weekend! YAYY!**

**Dutchy Puppy: YOU GOT IT! The "VENDETTA!" Is from El Tigre. And if you steal Anko, I'LL HUNT YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE UNIVERSE, THEN FIND YOU AND TOTURE YOU MERCILESSLY IN FRONT OF YOUR BLEEDING AND WOUNDED FAMILY, THEN BURN YOU AT THE POISONED STAKE! ANKO IS MINE, BITCH! Sorry about that. DON'T TOUCH ANKO.**

**Kay'baka-chan: I'm fulfilling two wishes in one author's note. You get to be in the beginning author's note, and you're right in the sense that the "light and dark" poem is from a game. It's from the Web RPG Dragonfable. I got it from the description of a weapon. I actually play Dragonfable. I am level 57, and my character name is Flashy. My ID is: 16719659. So here's the next chapter!**

**Rule 15: Know your roots.**

**Normal POV**

Aaron woke up happily as May tapped his shoulder.

"Everyone all set?" He asked.

"We got all the costumes, and they're getting dressed as we speak." She answered, confirming his question.

"Great." He got right up out of bed.

"So what are Kakuzu, Zetsu, Sasori, Deidara and Rich wearing?" Aaron asked her.

"Kakuzu is supposed to be a mummy, Sasori is Saw, Deidara's a terrorist," She began.

"Isn't he already?" The young man asked.

"Yeah, but he's got a fake bomb strapped to his chest, which his mouth keeps trying to eat, and one of those crazy beards." May told him.

"Whatever."

"Rich is Jason Voorhes, and Zetsu is a homicidal plant monster." May finished.

"Ok." She pulled a bagged costume from behind her.

"Here's your costume." She said. Aaron accepted it.

"Thanks."

"You can get changed in the bathroom." May told him.

"'Kay. See ya." And with that, Aaron started walking to the bathroom. On the way there, he bumped into Rich.

"Oh, you're awake?" Rich asked. Aaron nodded.

"Yep."

"Well, that elf costume looks awesome."

"Elf costume?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah, you're wearing an elf costume."

"No I'm not."

"What are you, blind?"

"You trying to prank me?"

"No!"

"Whatever." With that, Rich walked away, leaving a very confused Aaron to just stand there. Then he walked into the bathroom. What he saw in the mirror surprised him. His ears were longer and pointed. His hair was shiny, not the way it usually looked. And his eyes were the same colors, but the blue and green separated, splitting his irises into two halves.

"Weird..."

"Well, I'll just go looking like this." Aaron walked into the living room. Everyone was there, and in their costumes. Tables lined two of the walls, covered in bowls of colored candy and sake bottles. There were spotlights pointing all around from different positions in the room. Pentagrams were put in random locations on the floors and walls. Pein saw Aaron entering the room.

"Nice elf costume." He said.

"I thought you were going to be a demon samurai."

"I was, but I was apparently put into an elf costume. Though I can't seem to take the ears on or off." Aaron told him. He shrugged. There was also a little stage we had set up in case anyone wanted to say something, sing, or play music. Aaron walked right up and grabbed a mike.

"YOU GUYS READY?" He asked, my voice booming all over the room. Everyone cheered.

"THEN THIS IS GOING TO BE THE MOST MEMORABLE HALLOWEEN YOU EVER HAD!" Aaron then announced. Everyone started cheering. They were all cheering loudly. Almost immediately, they heard footsteps.

"Quickly men, we must search this castle for the king!" A male voice said. Everyone made a "WTF?" face. Suddenly, a bunch of men with long, shiny hair came running in the room. They looked Aaron and gasped.

"My lord." Their apparent leader said. All of them got down on one knee.

**Aaron's POV**

What...the fuck...

"My liege, we have finally found you." The leader said happily.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. The leader held out a scroll.

"It was foretold in the prophecy." Pein walked over to him and grabbed the scroll. He opened it and gasped himself.

"There's no way..." He said. Everyone came over and looked at the scroll. They all went wide-eyed. Then they looked up at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You have to come see this." Rich said. I got down off the stage and walked over to the middle of the room. Pein handed me the scroll. I looked at it.

"Oh my god..." On the scroll was a prophecy that looked like an animation. It depicted elves worshipping a sun. Then it showed the sun glowing. Next the sun disappeared. Then it showed an elf with black hair who looked just like me in a castle, surrounded by people who looked just like the Akatsuki and my friends did now.

"It is just as the prophecy described. 'You shall find the king in a castle, surrounded by many creatures, humans in disguise. He shall have shining black hair, blue and green eyes, the common long ears, and skin which glows like the sun's eternal warmth.'" The leader said.

"What—How—I—"

"I know you are confused. I wish to do something that may help explain." He motioned his hand forward. One of the elves carried something covered with a small tarp.

"May I?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Sh-Sure." He handed me the item. It felt dense and solid, and had a warmth one couldn't describe. I took the tarp off slowly. In my hands was a sword. But it wasn't just any sword. The hilt was made of a yellow metal, which felt as hard as hard could be. Two curved points were on top of the hilt. Then there was the blade. Oh, the blade. It was finely composed, with engravings lining the bottom of the blade. The blade drew out from a thin bottom, and finally was the size of a regular blade. At the middle of where the hilt met the blade was a green gemstone, cut in a perfect circle, with no jagged edges or chipped pieces, and with a glowing yellow sun inside. It felt smooth and warm, as though it were living.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"Your rite of passage." He answered.

"What do you mean?"

"If you had grown up within our kingdom, you would have gone through a rite of passage. Each male member of the royal family goes through a rite of passage when they reach the age of sixteen. Only the royal family can wield the Sword of Truths."

"The 'Sword of Truths'?" The leader nodded.

"The Sword of Truths was created by your ancestors at the beginning of our race. It is one of the last remains of our ancient culture. While the rest of our world gained technology and science, we stayed with magic and the old ways, and even though our race's culture grew more slowly than others, it flourished the most. We have gained new ideas and trades, but most pieces of our ancient ways were lost to the ages." He explained.

"World?"

"Our race was born on Ra'drith, the world of fantasy. Many creatures existed there; lizards, cats, people, monsters, and even the shadows had life. But one day, the empires of the races began to feud for power. This sent the other races looking for ways to annihilate their foes. We chose to stick with the ancient ways; the ways of sorcery and beliefs." I took a minute or two to take this in.

"So why me?"

"You are Illyon in another body."

"What?"

"You are the reincarnation of Illyon, the sun."

"WHAT?" Suddenly, the ground began to shake.

"The shadows approach!" He exclaimed.

"What do you mean?" Rich asked.

"The creatures of the darkness. They have been trying to make sure we could not get to the king. But he cannot use his powers yet, and they are too strong! We're defenseless!" The leader told them. He tried to step in front of me to sacrifice himself, but I stopped him.

"I'll stop them." I told him.

"How? You do not even know how to use your sword!" He said. I felt something overtake me. I somehow knew what to do with the sword.

"Yes, I do." I said in a deeper voice than usual. Everyone took a step back. I could feel light emanating from my eyes.

"I'll be back soon." I walked out the door. I could feel the corruption of the shadows coming towards the base.

**Normal POV**

The beasts of darkness were nearing a valley. As they got inside, they could feel some kind of power. So they all stopped. Suddenly, a blinding light overtook the entire area. The creatures could only see the shadow of someone standing there. When the light went away, Aaron was standing there, holding the Sword of Lights. The general of the dark forces stepped forward.

"Ah, so the king finally decides to accept his death." He said in a raspy voice. Aaron held his sword up.

"So you wish to give us the sword? Wise choice." There was no emotion showing on the young man's face.

"Light." He began. The sword's blade grew a little longer.

"Purity." He said. The blade grew even longer.

"Freedom." He finished. The blade grew to full length.

"I AM ILLYON, THE SUN, GOD OF THE LIGHT, AND VANQUISHER OF SHADOWS!" He yelled to the world, letting all hear his mighty cry. The sword's blade glowed, and a gigantic beam of light erupted down from the sky, and bathing the man in a torrent of yellow. When the light was gone, Aaron had not changed much. His hair had now turned golden, and his eyes were still the same. The sword, however, had changed into a more massive version of itself, with a thin line of gold all around the blade.

"What?" The general cried out. Aaron smirked. Then he burst forward in a streak of yellow, and began destroying the 500 evil creatures which had come to destroy his domain, not letting a single one see him before their death. When only the general was left, Aaron appeared in front of him in a streak of light.

"Death comes swift for the shadows of evil." He said. With a final blow, he decapitated the general. Some bushes nearby started rustling.

"Come out now, or death you shall meet." Aaron ordered. A female form came out of the bushes.

"Anko-chan?" Aaron asked. She looked startled.

"Who're you?" She asked in a scared voice. A voice rung out in Aaron's mind, saying,

'_Will the sword to retract and for yourself to change back to normal._' Aaron forced his body to change, and could hear Anko gasp.

"Aaron-kun?"

"What happened? Why are you here?" Aaron asked her.

"I was on my way to see you. A day ago, there was this giant dragon made of fire in the air. You could see it all the way from Konoha. I got worried and wanted to check on you. When I got here, there was this giant bolt of light coming down from the sky. I decided to check it out, and I found you there. What happened?" Aaron sighed.

"I cannot tell you yet. It is a story that I myself am new to. I can only tell you one thing." He said.

"What's that?"

"The warmth of the sun shall always envelop you, even at night."

"Okay, then."

"Anko-chan, you have to go." Aaron told her.

"But—"

"Please. For me." Anko sighed.

"Okay, but only for you." Aaron kissed her on the cheek.

"Thank you." He said sincerely. Then he walked away.

"What is going on?" Anko asked herself.

**I have finished Chapter 21! Yay! I got the idea for the Sword of Truths from Thundercats (also known by: "Thunder. Thunder. Thunder. THUNDERCATS, HOOOOOO!") HELL YEAH! THUNDERCATS! *clears throat* So, a little spoiler alert: SOME BIG SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN.**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *a shower of stars comes flying out* There. I fixed it. GET OFF MY BACK PETA!**


	22. The start of a war like no other

**Chapter 22! SURPRISES AWAIT THE GLORIOUS ONES! Wait…What the fuck did I just say? *shrugs* Eh, enjoy the chapter, or PENGUIN-SAMA WILL RAIN ARCTIC FIRE UPON YOUR PITIFUL AND FANFICTIONLESS LIVES!**

**Rule 16: TASTE THE FUCKIN' RAINBOW!**

**Normal POV**

Aaron arrived back at the base.

"What was that beam of light?" Pein asked. Aaron held his sword up.

"Light." He began his chant. The sword blade grew a little bit longer.

"Purity." He continued. The blade grew even longer.

"Freedom." The blade grew to full length. Aaron started floating up in the air. All over his skin, glowing yellow suns appeared.

"I AM ILLYON, THE SUN, GOD OF THE LIGHT, AND VANQUISHER OF SHADOWS!" Aaron shouted. A bolt of light burst down from the sky and into his sword, but this time, he was enveloped in a glow. When it disappeared, he had glowing yellow gauntlets on both his arms, two shining pauldrons rode atop his shoulders, and golden armor adorned his entire torso. On the middle of the armor was a glowing sun. The Sword of Truths was sheathed inside his right arm's gauntlet as a dirk.

"What the—"

Everyone stared in amazement except for Tobi and Kisame. The two were fighting because Tobi had annoyed Kisame. Kisame threw a packet of Skittles at Tobi, and the masked Uchiha let them hit his face.

Rule 16: "TASTE THE FUCKIN' RAINBOW!" Kisame shouted. Suddenly, Aaron looked surprised.

"No..." He said. Even Kisame and Tobi turned to him.

"What is it?" Rich asked.

"The shadows are gathering under the ultimate enemy..." Aaron said in a foreboding voice.

"Who's the ultimate enemy?"

"The stranger..."

"Who's the stranger?" Pein asked.

"I cannot tell you. But he is using Cryptus to gather the shadows."

"Who's Cryptus?"

"The deathbringer."

"What does he look like?" Aaron held his hand up, and an image glowed to life. The image showed a person. They were wearing some kind of skull as a helmet, and carried a black staff with blood red steel at the top and a skull at the bottom. They were dressed in blood red and black armor, with the kanji for doom on their chest.

"That...is Cryptus, the harbinger of doom." Aaron told them.

"Ha! He doesn't look so fuckin' scary! I could fucking kick his shitty ass with my fuckin' eyes closed!" Hidan said out loud. Suddenly, Aaron's eyes lit up with a golden light.

"You may think so, Jashinist, but Cryptus will slice you to pieces and use your meat as his victory meal." He said in a deep voice. Everyone took a step back. Aaron's eyes turned back to normal.

"King, you must learn to control your power before the darkness can consume us all." The leader elf said. Aaron nodded firmly.

"I forgot to ask you all your names. What might they be?" Aaron asked him.

"I am Drelgo, general of the elves." The leader said. He pointed to one with medium length brown hair.

"This is Arthrun." The elf bowed. Next was one with short blonde hair.

"This is Bracus." Bracus bowed as well.

"And this is Kendrel." He said, introducing one with long auburn hair. Kendrel bowed.

"We are the greatest warriors in the elven army." Drelgo said. Aaron smiled.

"Good."

"So...What's going on?" Rich asked him.

"We will soon be at war."

"Just us?"

"The entire world." Everyone but Hidan stood still, taking in the severe gravity of the matter.

"THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD?" Hidan cried out.

"I must alert them." Aaron said. He floated up into the air, and flew out the door, into the sky. He amplified his power.

"PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, RALLY YOUR FORCES! THE SHADOWS ARE COMING, AND THEY WILL GIVE NO MERCY! FIGHT BACK AGAINST THEIR CORRUPTION, AND PROTECT YOUR VILLAGES!" Aaron yelled to the world.

Kiri

"What's going on?" Mei asked.

Kumo

"Whose voice is that? I demand to know!" A shouted.

Iwa

"I don't know what we should do..." The Tsuchikage said.

Suna

"Who's saying that?" Temari asked.

"A friend of Naruto's..." Gaara told her.

Konoha

"Aaron?" Tsunade asked. Anko burst in the door.

"Tsunade-sama, is that Aaron-kun's voice?" Anko asked.

"I-I think so..."

Back with Aaron

"GATHER YOUR TROOPS AND COME TO KONOHAGAKURE! I WILL BE WAITING!" Aaron finished. Then he focused on sending a message to all the Kage.

'_Kage of the Shinobi villages, you may not know who I am, but you must trust me. The darkness is growing, and we must fight back. Come to Konohagakure with your mightiest troops._' He said.

'_WHO ARE YOU? HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?_' A asked loudly in Aaron's mind.

'_Who are you?_' Mei's voice asked calmly.

'_Aaron?_' Tsunade's voice asked.

'_It is me, Tsunade._' Aaron replied.

'_Hokage-dono, You know him?_' Gaara asked.

'_He's one of the shinobi in my village._' Tsunade told him.

'_Wait, how are we talking to each other?_' Mei asked.

'_Me._' Aaron told them.

'_TELL US HOW!_' A shouted.

'_You will all learn when we meet._' Aaron told them.

'_When should we meet?_' Gaara asked.

'_Tomorrow._'

'_Are you sure?_' Tsunade asked.

'_I am. The Akatsuki will also be with us._'

'_WHAT?_' Everyone but Gaara shouted.

'_They will not harm you._' He affirmed.

'_Are you sure?_" Tsunade asked him.

'_The sun's warmth extends to allies, and will protect them. We will meet at the gates. Remember the name Illyon. He will guide you._' Aaron said. With that, he shut off their connection. Then he flew back to the base.

"What was that?" Rich asked.

"The shadows are gathering, and we will fight back." Aaron said.

"How?"

"The shinobi villages and we are fighting."

"We?" Pein asked.

"You will join them."

"No—" Kisame began. Pein stopped him.

"We will." He said.

"But—" Aaron's eyes glowed, cutting him off, and a little flash of light appeared on each of their chests.

"WHAT THE FUCKIN' HELL WAS THAT SHIT?" Hidan asked.

"You are now bound by your word. You are to only help them. If any of you kills any ally shinobi, your hearts will catch on fire, and you will die."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT?" Hidan asked.

"The sun shines no light on his enemies." Aaron said coldly. They all stood there silent for a moment.

"We're going to Konoha tomorrow." Aaron told them finally. Pein nodded.

"This is the start of a war like no other..." Aaron said.

**Dun dun dun! What will happen next? Find out when Chapter 23 comes out!**


	23. To the Battlefield!

**Chapter 23 is here! *musical flourish plays* HELLZ YAH!**

**Dutchy Puppy: I didn't know that! Sweet! What's your character's name, ID, level, and your favorite weapon?**

**Rule 17: Show your skills.**

**Normal POV**

They had finally arrived at the gates of Konoha, with Aaron under a henge to hide his elf ears. Kotetsu and Izumo got ready to attack, but Aaron stopped them.

"They're with me." He said. The two Chunin relaxed. Suddenly, the gates opened. Tsunade walked out along with Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and about 40 ANBU. Sasuke took one look at Itachi and scowled.

"What is _he_ doing here?" He asked.

"Yeah, what are these guys doing here? They want to kill me!" Naruto asked loudly.

"They're here to help." Aaron told him.

"How do you know they won't kill anyone?" Tsunade asked.

"I took precautions to make sure they couldn't kill anyone, or else they would die." Tsunade nodded.

"So what are you doing with them?" She asked Aaron.

"Well, you might want Anko here." He told her. She nodded and an ANBU raced back into the village. When Anko came up, she gasped at seeing the Akatsuki.

"What are you doing with them?" She asked him.

"I knew this would come." He said. Then he asked them all to sit down.

"Before I came here, I hadn't known who I was. I met the Akatsuki in another dimension, and helped them." Everyone looked surprised.

"Why would you help them?" Tsunade asked.

"Because I didn't know that I would become a leaf shinobi. I met them all first when they were in the form of birds."

"Birds?"

"Something happened when they were searching for a jinchuuriki. They met an old man, and he asked if they wanted entertainment, and Tobi said yes. He did some kind of ritual, and they were transported and turned into birds. Rich, May, and I found them, by fate or luck, I don't know, and we gave them some food. Next thing we knew, the Akatsuki was sitting in my living room. We decided to hang out with them for a bit, and fell down some kind of interdimensional hole the next day. That was right before Naruto found me." Aaron explained. Everyone looked surprised.

"Why did you keep it from us?" Anko asked.

"I didn't want everyone to start hating me because I helped the Akatsuki." Aaron said sadly.

"You all probably hate me now. Go ahead and banish me." He said. Anko came over, and hugged him.

"Why do you still treat me as a friend?" Aaron asked her.

"Because from the day I met you, you've done nothing but help people, and stand up for me and Naruto. Anyone who was evil would have only done that for a sinister purpose." She told him. Then she kissed him on the cheek. Tsunade spoke up.

"You've helped the village a lot. I think the same." She said to him.

"You got Sasuke back!" Naruto exclaimed, voicing his opinion.

"You reunited me with my friends, and my older brother." Sasuke said happily. Then they heard footsteps.

"Is Aaron back?" Came a voice. Everyone looked to see Arine walking out of the gates.

"Yes, yes I am." Aaron said. Arine bowed.

"No bowing. I hate how some people just demand people always bow to show the person's superiority." He ordered. Arine nodded. Then she saw the Akatsuki.

"What are the Akatsuki doing here?" She asked frightenedly.

"They're helping us." Aaron told her.

"How? I've heard that some of them have raped people." She said, hiding behind his back. Hidan grinned.

"Would you fuckin' like some as well, bitch?" He asked Arine. She cowered even more, and Aaron drew the Sword of Truths.

"What is that?" Anko asked him.

"Part of another secret I just learned about." He said with a sigh. Everyone but Rich, May, and the Akatsuki gave a questioning look. He let his henge fall apart.

"What looks different about me?" He asked them. They all studied him a moment.

"Nothing." Anko said.

"You're wrong. My ears and eyes." He told them. They looked closely.

"You're an elf?" Tsunade asked. He nodded.

"Baa-chan, what's an elf?" Naruto asked/yelled. Tsunade bonked him on the head. Some of the Akatsuki started snickering.

"Don't call me that in front of other people!" She ordered. Naruto rubbed his sore head.

"What's an elf?" He repeated. Aarons sighed once more.

"An elf is like a human. They're humans that were born of the forest." He told Naruto.

"What does that mean?" Naruto asked loudly.

"As you all know, in the beginning of the universe, there was the gods. There were many different ones, a god of the sky, god of the ocean, god of the land. The goddess of the forest was Yama-no-Kami. She ruled over many deities and creatures. In the forest lived spirits who brought peace and tranquility. One day, some of those spirits mated with human females, and the elves were born." Aaron explained.

"What does 'mated' mean?" Naruto asked cluelessly.

"They fucked 'em." Kisame said quickly. Pein smacked him upside the head.

"Don't say that in front of a child!" He said. Aaron turned back to Naruto.

"You know about the birds and the bees, right?" He asked the blonde.

"I learned about in the Academy, but I couldn't really understand it." Naruto said sheepishly.

"Well, when a man and a woman like each other very much, they get married. Then the man and the woman...do stuff, and the woman has a baby nine months later. Then very slowly, but surely, the man starts regretting his entire existence because his wife keeps nagging at him to stop drinking and get off his butt, but the man just wants to watch sports and have fun." Aaron told him. Anko punched him on the arm playfully.

"I was just kidding!" He said.

"So anyways, mated means they had any number of babies." Aaron finished.

"Ohhh."

"The elves were the first children of the spirits. Then the elves began to breed with other elves. The elves were skilled hunters and gatherers. They had special abilities, like being able to form an easy bond with animals, and even being able to make music with only a leaf. The line of elves streamed down from the first generation. Thus I was born."

"But aren't you Sasuke's brother?" Anko asked.

"Well, I think I'm his half brother."

"Why?"

"He hasn't had anything like I have happen to him."

"How can you be sure?" Anko asked him.

"Drelgo, come out." Aaron ordered. Drelgo appeared from the bushes, shocking everyone.

"Who's that?" Tsunade asked.

"Drelgo, general of the elven race, at your service." He said, bowing.

"Drelgo, who was in the royal family?" Aaron asked him, giving him a look that said "Don't tell them about me".

"There was King Bracxious (pronounced Brayk-shus), Queen Mikoto, and Prince Alren." The elven general said.

"The royal family?" Tsunade asked. Aaron nodded.

"As you can see, I am an elf. But I am no _ordinary_ elf." He told them. They were confused.

"Have you all ever heard of the Sword of Truths?" Aaron asked them. They all shook their heads no.

"It was the sword of the royal family of the elves, who lived on the planet Ra'drith. When each male member of his generation reached the age of sixteen, he would go through a rite of passage. They would receive the sword, and would attempt to draw forth its full power. Few have only draw half of it, but only the true wielder can draw out the sword's full potential. Even if they completely failed, they would be given the sword. As I stated, I am not _just_ an elf. I am Prince Alren." Aaron told them. They all gawped. Suddenly, the other four Kages' forces came to the area they were in.

"Who is this 'Aaron' the Hokage spoke of?" A shouted.

"I am."

"You think you have the right to tell me what to do?" A asked him loudly. Aaron remained silent and calm.

"DO YOU?" A asked again. Aaron didn't speak. The Raikage drew his fist back. Everyone gasped. A's massive fist came forward, but it never hit Aaron, because the young man had drawn his sword.

"Seeing as how I'm the only person capable of helping you defeat what is to come, I suggest you do not try to harm me. I may look like you could beat me easily, but there's more to me than what you know, which is very little." Aaron said with his sword pointed at the Raikage's neck. Everyone stared at him. Then the Raikage backed off.

"Why have you called us here?" Mei asked.

"As I told you, the darkness is coming." Aaron began.

"What do you mean by 'the darkness'?" Gaara asked curiously.

"Only the people standing here with me know that I am an elf." He began. The Raikage laughed hard.

"If you do not believe me, take a look at my ears and eyes." Aaron told him. The Raikage shut up, and the four Kage looked. They all were surprised.

"Back on my home world, everything had life and was intelligent, even the animals and shadows. Something happened one day, and the shadows were corrupted." Aaron continued. Then he turned to Drelgo.

"Drelgo, do you know why?" The elf nodded sadly.

"Your father one day became evil, and corrupted the shadows with dark powers."

"What does his father have to do with all this?" Mei asked.

"I am getting to that." Aaron said curtly.

"Now, there is an artifact that belongs to the royal family: the Sword of Truths." He continued. Then he drew the sword.

"Is that it?" Anko asked, pointing to it. He nodded.

"The Sword was a rite of passage for each male member. They would attempt to draw the sword's full power from it. Only few have ever only drawn half of it, but only the true wielder can bring out its awesome might. Do you know why I have it?" Aaron asked them. They shook their heads.

"I am no ordinary elf. I am the son of King Bracxious, the king of elves; Prince Alren." Everyone gawped.

"But there is a secret beyond that." Aaron continued.

"I am the reincarnation of Illyon, the sun." He said.

"You must be crazy! The sun cannot be reincarnated!" The Raikage said. Aaron closed his eyes. The armor he had appeared once more, and the sun on his chest glowed. He held out the Sword of Truths.

"Light." The blade grew.

"Purity." It grew longer.

"Freedom." The blade grew to full length. Aaron plunged the sword into the ground.

"**I AM ILLYON, THE SUN!**" He shouted in a deep voice. The glowing suns appeared all over his skin, and his eyes glowed golden. The next thing that happened was indescribable. He started to glow. Then his hair turned to actual waving flames. Next his eyes turned to white with a reddish-orange ring around each. His hands turned to claws of flame. His feet caught on fire. Then his legs and arms started flaming. Finally, his armor seemed to glow ont eh outside, having small tongues of fire wave around at the edge. Everyone was staring in shock. Aaron closed his eyes, and his markings and armor went away, his legs, arms, hands, and feet looked regular, and his hair turned into its common shiny black. When he opened his eyelids, his (now) normal blue and green eyes were there.

"Now you all see who I am." Aaron said. They all stood in shock. Suddenly, a loud boom came from nearby, making the ground shake, causing a cloud of black to fly up in the air, and making Aaron turn his head sharply.

"It has begun..." He said.

"What has begun?" Mei asked.

"The war..." Everyone stayed silent for a moment.

"Come with me, and hurry!" Aaron said. Everyone started following the reincarnated god.

"Where are we going?" Tsunade asked.

"The battlefield, where Cryptus stands."

**Just when you thought when you thought it was over, that it was safe to read my story, they've come back! THE CLIFFHANGERS! MUAHAHAHAHA! Anyways, I am so awesome! I managed to get four chapters out in three days! WHOOP WHOOP! BOBURRITO, STOP HUMPING THAT BARSTOOL! I NEED IT FOR MY DRINK-OFF CELEBRATING ME GETTING THROUGH THE FIRST TWO DAYS OF SCHOOL! BREAK OUT THE GIN AND THE BLOODY MARYS! WE ARE GONNA HAVE FUN!**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *a tidal wave of beer blinds you* ARRIBA! *runs off with a "ZOOM!" noise***


	24. Shall we get this party started?

**Chapter 24! OHMYGOSH! BOBURRITO, STOP HUMPING THE FREAKIN' BARSTOOL! UGHH! If you're wondering who Boburrito is, it's Inner. *readers gasp* Yeah, I know. It's shocking. He went from my inner persona to a 24-hour wasted drunk in 5 chapters. It's sad. Enjoy the chapter!**

**Rule 18: Never take Konan from Pein.**

**Normal POV**

They arrived at the battlefield. Where was the battlefield? The forest outside of Konoha. There they saw many undead and creatures made of shadow attacking shinobi. Suddenly, the group heard a female yell behind them. Everyone turned to see an unconscious Konan being carried away by a skeleton. Pein started fuming. The undead monster was already 50 yards away by the time he started to race after it. Aaron put a hand on his shoulder.

"We'll get her back." He told Pein. The former Ame-nin calmed down. Suddenly, a mass of skeletons and shadow creatures stormed towards the group.

"Listen up!" Aaron ordered.

"You're going to need whatever weapons you have and your strongest jutsu." He told them. Aaron looked at Naruto.

"It's Rasengan Time." He said with a grim. Everyone stopped what they were doing.

"Wait. Rasengan Time?" Aaron looked up at the sky.

"SERIOUSLY? That's the BEST you can do?" He asked.

"Hey man, don't go breakin' the fourth wall just yet." Rich told him.

"Whatever." Everything resumed back to normal. The groups broke apart, bashing and slashing the dark creatures. Many creatures started to pounce on Aaron. Then he pushed them off. They all fell in a pile a few yards away, but got right back up. A smirk grew on Aaron's face. He held his hand out. Rings of light surrounded it. Then he moved his hand down, making a curve line out of energy. The line solidified into a katana. Then he held the sword back. Then next you could see was two yellow lines streaking across the battlefield. Then some of the group of creatures fell to pieces. LITERALLY. The next thing that followed was three yellow rings appearing and disappearing. Then the last of the creatures Aaron was facing fell apart. The rest of the shinobi finished pounding down the creatures. Then they heard a loud, evil-sounding voice.

"I SHALL ABSORB THE POWER OF MY SACRIFICE, AND PLUNGE THE WORLD INTO AN ERA OF DOOM!" It called out. Aaron's eyes widened.

"Oh no." He said.

"What?"

"We've got to rescue Konan." Aaron told them.

"But she's with the Akatsuki! Couldn't we just let her die?" Anko asked. Pein started fuming.

"1) Pein wouldn't allow it. And 2) If Cryptus sacrifices her, we'll have a hell of a hard time trying to beat him." Aaron told them.

"Then let's go! DATTEBAYO!" Naruto shouted. Everyone started racing to where the voice was coming from. There they saw Cryptus standing over an unconscious Konan with a sword.

"Who's that?" Tsunade asked.

"Cryptus, the harbinger of doom." Aaron told them.

"What's—" Naruto began to ask loudly. Sasuke slapped a hand over the blonde's mouth before he could alert Cryptus to their presence.

"Be quiet, dobe. We don't want this guy to know we're here." Sasuke told him. The blonde nodded. However, Pein and Aaron were already gone.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" Aaron's voice shouted. They then saw a man with bright green hair kick Cryptus in the head, sending him flying. Pein came out of some bushes off to the side as the man stood over Konan.

"Bansho Tenn'in!" Pein said. Cryptus came flying towards him and the doombringer's head collided with Pein's hand. Then the former Ame-nin pulled his hand away, attempting to draw out Cryptus soul. But nothing happened. So the green-haired man spin-kicked Cryptus, sending him flying again.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention this...but he has no soul. It's kind of a "I sold my soul to the Devil and now I have ultimate power" kind of thing." The man said sheepishly. Pein scowled, but jumped forward, and started pounding Cryptus. After a few minutes, Pein jumped back.

"That's for taking Konan." He said. Pein started to walk away, but an evil laughter bellowed, like some sort of cruel joke had been played by someone with sick sense of humor.

"I do not go down that easily." Cryptus said.

"Now who might be the fool that dares to challenge the essence of darkness itself?" He asked. Aaron smirked, and let his henge go away.

"The name...is Illyon."

"You are the sun? BAH!" Cryptus laughed.

"You must be joking!" Aaron's smirk grew bigger. He closed his eyes. Aaron began to transform into the form he had before. His eyes turned white with a red ring around each, his hair became flames, his hands and feet changed into fiery claws, his legs and arms caught on fire, and the armor he wore appeared on him. Cryptus looked relieved, though you couldn't see his face.

"I thought for a minute my greatest enemy was a mere human!" He exclaimed.

"Oh believe me, I have higher standards than that." Aaron said. Then he drew the Sword of Truths. The blade extended to full length.

"Now then, what say we get this party started?" Aaron asked him. Cryptus smiled evilly.

"Let's."

**DUN DUN DUN! MUAHAHAHAHA! You'll have to find out what happens next when you read Chapter 25! Review, or Cryptus will find you, chop you to pieces, and use your meat for his victory meal! Also, I won't make another chapter ever.**

**Ja Ne! *disappears in a bunch of rainbows* TASTE THE FUCKIN' RAINBOW!**


	25. A Great Loss

**Chapter 25! Chapter twehenty-fihiive! HELL YEAH! I decided that I would release the chapter anyways out of kindness. *smiles* BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO REVIEW. *points finger at you* Here is the latest chapter!**

**Rule 19: You have to try.**

**Aaron's POV**

We both stood silent for a moment. Then we charged each other, clanging our swords together. We broke apart and came back together several times in a deadly dance of power. Then we both broke apart.

"You cannot defeat me!" Cryptus exclaimed.

"If I can't, the best I can do is try!" I retorted. We jumped back together, clanging our fierce weapons once more. Then we separated.

"I bet that you cannot even use your powers!" Cryptus bragged. I smirked.

"That bet..." I began.

"Is lost." Cryptus looked surprised. A bolt of light hit his back. Behind him stood another me. He was forced to the ground by the blast. Then I let my palm glow, and smashed a ball of light into the ground, releasing a blinding light which covered the battlefield. In an instant the light faded, showing Cryptus holding his sword to my neck.

"Any last words, fool?" He asked haughtily. I smirked.

"Kaboom." I said. Then I exploded in a fiery blast, making Deidara go wide-eyed and cheer.

"Art is eternal, brat." Sasori said.

"AN EXPLOSION! SHUT UP, DANNA!" Deidara shouted, wanting to see more. Everyone was shocked at Deidara ending the argument. I appeared behind Cryptus, but he smirked (what is with villains always wearing masks? You can't tell if they're smirking, frowning, smiling, or even having a goddamn TROLLFACE!). Cryptus grabbed my arm and flung over his shoulder and onto the ground, letting the Sword of Truths fly in front of me.

"The light may shine, but it creates more shadows, from which I THRIVE!" He shouted, stabbing me in my right arm. My arm was on fire.

"And now, I send you to hell, so I may consume the light!" He said, holding up a sword.

**Normal POV**

Aaron smirked, and grabbed his sword using his left arm.

"You may think I only use my sword with my right hand. What you _don't_ know is that...I'M MOTHER-FUCKIN' AMBIDEXTROUS!" Aaron announced proudly. He stabbed his sword into the ground. From it, the earth split, creating a path to hell.

"And if I'm goin' to hell, YOU'RE COMIN' WITH ME!" Aaron shouted, grabbing the Doom Warrior.

"What?" Cryptus cried out. Aaron took the warrior, and jumped into the fissure, letting both of them fly down to the fiery pits. The crack remained open, and all who watched were amazed and sad.

'He...He did it..." Tsunade said amazed. Anko started crying.

"Yeah, but now he's gone!" She said in between sobs. Anko fell to her knees. Rich, May, and Arine came over to Anko, and began consoling her.

"He was the finest example of a hero that I'd ever seen." Tsunade said, starting to cry herself. Everyone was silent for maybe even an hour. The other four Kage hadn't known him much, but he had shown bravery like no other. Sasuke and Itachi were not fighting at all, both mourning the loss of their half brother. Tobi cried over losing a senpai, which were actual tears. The kid was pure, and he hadn't told a soul about who Madara was. The immortal Uchiha had started to really like him. Deidara and Sasori didn't argue about art, both starting to agree that art was emotion. Pein and Konan both were silent. Hidan didn't say a single profanity. Kakuzu stopped thinking about money because this was serious to him. The guy may have threatened to burn his money, but he showed them all a good time. It was a great loss.

_THE END...?_

**OH NOES! I KILLED OF THE MAIN CHARACTER! WHAT THE ****HELL**** IS WRONG WITH ME! PENGUIN-SAMA, HELP ME FIND OUT WHY I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!**

***HGOPAMLB teleports to me and whispers in my ear* Oh yeah. Folks, I have a legitimate reason for this. The next chapter will be out soon! DO NOT FLAME ME. YOU'LL SEE WHY THIS HAD TO HAPPEN.**


	26. A tale for another day

**Chapter 26! HERE YOU WILL SEE WHY I KILLED OFF AARON!**

**Rule 20: Never give up.**

**Normal POV**

**Timeskip of Sadness: 2 years after, on that very day.**

**The Forest outside of Konoha**

It was a stormy and cloudy day; _that_ day. The day he saved the world; The day he died. Anko was standing in the forest with his friends, Tsunade, Naruto, Sasuke, Rich, May, Arine, Hinata, Kakashi, and even Itachi, at a statue memorial made to honor him, which stood near the fissure, where at the end lay the Sword of Truths, still embedded in the hard and cold earth. The memorial was a statue of him holding the Sword of Truths, looking proud and mighty. Itachi had been accepted back as a shinobi of Konoha after the battle, in honor of his half brother. Many tears hit the ground plinking. On the day Itachi had been accepted back, many civilians cried out in outrage, saying, "That criminal shouldn't be accepted back because of him! He threatened us because of the Snake Whore!" Tsunade had then made a law. If anyone were to speak poorly of Aaron, they would be executed in front of the entire village. That made the villagers' mouths shut like bear traps. As they all stood there, they wondered why he had to sacrifice himself. Why? Why did he have to leave them all? After spending an hour at the memorial, they all went to their respective homes. Anko didn't leave her home much after it happened. She rarely talked to people. It was the same with Rich, May, and Arine. In fact, all of his friends had lost a lot of happiness in their lives.

**Akatsuki**

At the Akatsuki base, the Akatsuki were holding a memorial for him as well. Everyone was gathered around a scroll with a picture of Aaron. They all held their tongues, no one speaking a word throughout the entire time.

**Forest**

When everyone had been gone for an hour, a ball of energy lit up in the air. Suddenly, a black-haired man fell out of it, and landed on his back.

"Dammit, that hurts. 2 years in that place can give you such a crick in the neck." He said, cracking his neck. He got up and looked around at where he was.

"Well, perhaps it's time to pay my dear friends a visit." The man said.

**Konoha**

All the residents were going about their daily lives. Suddenly, the sky turned pitch black, and purple lightning began to flash all over the world.

**Atop the Hokage Tower**

The man looked up and saw the lightning and the black sky.

"Aw, fuck. He's here too?" He asked with a playful glint in his eye, brandishing the Sword of Truths.

**Kiri**

"What is this?" Mei asked, seeing the lightning.

**Kumo**

"WHAT THE HELL'S HAPPENING?" A shouted.

**Iwa**

"What's going on?" The Tsuchikage asked.

**Suna**

"Not again..." Gaara said.

**Konoha**

"No...it's not possible..." Tsunade, Anko, Rich, and May said in unison.

**Akatsuki**

"...It can't be..." Pein said. An evil voice bellowed out.

"**YOU ALL THOUGHT I WAS GONE; THAT THE MIGHTY CRYPTUS HAD BEEN EASY TO DEFEAT! NOW, I AM MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER, AND I WILL CONSUME YOUR WORLD!**"

"No..." The five Kage, Rich, May, Anko, Kakashi, Sasuke, Naruto, Arine, Pein, and the Akatsuki said together.

"**AND TO START, I WILL DESTROY WHAT KEEPS THE DARKNESS AT BAY; THE SUN!**" Cryptus announced. All over the world, you could see a giant black dragon fly into outer space. You could see it right by the sun, but it was bigger.

"NO!" All the previously mentioned people cried out. In a flash, the sun was eaten by the shadowy monster. Suddenly, all light escaped from the sky, and you could see the stars brighter than ever. The dragon flew back to the earth.

"**NOW, LET THE CREATURES OF EVIL HIDING IN THE SHADOWS OF THE WORLD COME FORTH! GRANT ME YOUR POWER, AND TOGETHER, WE SHALL ENVELOP THIS WORLD IN AN AGE OF DARKNESS!**" Almost immediately, black blobs began to fly towards the dragon, making it grow constantly bigger. As it reached probably the size of the planet, darkness began to cover town by town, making it impossible to see anything.

**Konoha**

Anko, Rich, May, Tsunade, Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi, Hinata, Itachi, and Arine ran to the middle of the city. There they could see darkness descending upon the village. Tsunade fell to her knees.

"The sun...the sun is gone..." She said in a spaced out voice.

"How can we stop it?" Anko asked.

"We can't. There's nothing we can do..." Tsunade said. A familiar voice rung out.

"PROTECT MY ALLIES, LIGHT OF THE HEAVENS!" The voice shouted. A massive clank was heard behind them. Then a dome of light surrounded the village. Everyone was surprised. They turned around to see a familiar sword plunged into the ground. They looked up to see who the voice belonged to. There, kneeling, was someone they thought they'd never see.

Rule 20: "Never give up."

The owner of the voice stood up on both legs, and grinned at them. They all stared in complete shock.

"It's you...You're a-alive?" Anko asked. The black-haired man's grin grew bigger.

"As alive as someone who just did pot." He said. They started breaking down into tears.

"How?" Anko asked. He smiled.

"That's a tale for another day. If we live that long, that is." Aaron told them.

**BUM BUM BUM! **

**I TOLD YOU NOT TO HATE ON ME! I TOLD YOU I HAD LEGITIMATE REASON! YOU ALL OWE ME FIVE COOKIES EACH. NOW PAY UP, BITCHES! *accepts your cookies* Good. Now wait for the next chapter.**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *confetti pops out, and blocks me from view* HA! FUCK YOU, PETA! I'm not against them, but it gets annoying when I constantly hear people rallying outside my door at three in the morning, complaining about anything that looks relatively like fur. *turns to rallyers outside door* GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!**

**BYE!**

**~Jinso**


	27. The Plan

**Chapter 27 IS HERE! THE STORY CONTINUES! YAY!**

**Rule 21: Those who abandon the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash.**

_A familiar voice rung out._

"_PROTECT MY ALLIES, LIGHT OF THE HEAVENS!" The voice shouted. __A massive clank was heard behind them. Then a dome of light surrounded the village. Everyone was surprised. They turned around to see a familiar sword plunged into the ground. They looked up to see who the voice belonged to. There stood someone they thought they'd never see. _

_Rule 20: "Never give up."_

_The owner of the voice stood up on both legs, and grinned at them. They all stared in complete shock._

_"It's you...You're a-alive?" Anko asked. The black-haired man's grin grew bigger. _

_"As alive as someone who just did pot." He said. They started breaking down into tears._

_"How?" Anko asked. He smiled._

_"That's a tale for another day. If we live that long, that is." Aaron told them._

**Normal POV**

Anko was completely crying by now. She ran up to him, and began pounding on his chest.

"HOW COULD YOU LEAVE US LIKE THAT? WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE FOR GOOD!" She shouted at him, wailing on the elf's torso. Aaron put a hand on her back and pulled her into a hug.

"I thought I was as well. When this all over, we'll all go out for some ramen and dango, and I'll tell you all how I made it back." Then he looked to where Cryptus was.

"But for right now, we have another matter to focus on."

"You can beat him, right?" Sasuke asked.

"I can try. As we were falling towards hell, he managed to absorb a bit of my power. He's a dragon because of that. I don't have enough power to easily beat him." Aaron said grimly.

"You're the sun, how could you not be able to beat him?" Anko asked Aaron.

"Because when we were in hell, he managed to find the source of all of the devil's power, the Orb of Doom, a few days ago. He absorbed it, and became the ultimate being of darkness." He told them.

"What's the 'Orb of Doom'?" Naruto asked.

"Back when the spirits ruled the lands, each spirit had an orb. This orb was the source of their power, what made them immortal. The Orb of Doom belonged to the spirit that became the Devil. He was corrupted and got banished to the depths of hell. Then Cryptus found the Orb, and absorbed it. There were twelve orbs to begin. Now there's only eleven." Aaron explained to the boy.

"Then how can we beat him?" Sasuke asked.

"I have a plan, but you'll need to buy me some time." He said.

"How can _we_, mere humans, go up against the ultimate being of darkness?" Tsunade asked.

"I'll have to have a chat with a certain nine-tailed biju first." Aaron told them. They all looked wide-eyed.

"You can do that?" Anko asked. Aaron flashed them a fanged grin.

"There's _some_ perks to being the reincarnation of the sun." He said. Aaron walked over and placed his hand on Naruto's forehead.

"Just a warning: You're gonna get big-ass headache when this happens." The elf said. Then he closed his eyes. His form started wavering, and then he was lifted up, and sent straight into Naruto's mindscape.

**Naruto's Mindscape**

The entire place looked like a sewer.

"Ugh, it smells like a barn filled with cow shit in here." Aaron commented.

"**WHO DARES TO VISIT ME?**" The Kyuubi's voice called out.

"Ah, the Kyuubi no Kitsune. It's a pleasure to meet you." Aaron said, giving a bow after twirling his hand.

"**HOW HILARIOUS. A PUNY HUMAN, USING HIS PUNY INTELLIGENCE TO MAKE A JOKE.**"

"It was no joke. I take pride in meeting an old friend." Aaron said to it.

"**AN OLD FRIEND? WHO MIGHT YOU BE?**" The Kyuubi asked him.

"I shine bright in the sky." He said, reciting a phrase that Illyon would say to the Kyuubi whenever he met her.

"**ILLYON, IS THAT YOU? WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE A REGULAR ELF?**" The Kyuubi asked.

"I am not actually Illyon. I am his reincarnation." Aaron told it.

"**I AM GLAD TO SEE YOUR DEMEANOR HASN'T CHANGED IN THE LAST 500 YEARS.**"

"Same here, little miss."

"**YOU SEE I AM FEMALE. MOST SEE ME AS AN IT.**"

"A woman as beautiful as you deserves to be called what she is." Aaron said. The Kyuubi smiled and slowly began to shrink down to a normal-sized fox. Then she stood up on two legs, and all traces of fur disappeared from her skin. She was dressed in a red and orange kimono, which was wrapped with a white sash, and went down to her feet. Kyuubi had nine orange and red tails in the air behind her. Aaron looked her over.

"Still as beautiful as ever, I see." He said. Kyuubi blushed a little.

"Still as handsome as ever." She said back in a soft voice. They both stared for a bit in an awkward silence. Somewhere in the world, a gay baby had just been born.

"So why are you here?" Kyuubi asked him.

"We're about to go up against Cryptus." Aaron said.

"I always disliked that bastard. Let me guess, he's trying to 'cover the world in shadows and begin an era of darkness'?" Kyuubi asked. Aaron nodded.

"Figures. As a kid, he always dreamt about controlling the world. I never thought he'd actually get to a point where he might." She said.

"That brings us to why I'm here. Naruto's going to be fighting. He's definitely going to need some of your chakra." Aaron told her. She smiled.

"Anything for an old friend." Kyuubi said.

"I think he may need about two to three tails of chakra to help buy me some time." Aaron said. Kyuubi grinned.

"Sounds destructive. I like it." She said.

"But just as insurance, I need to tell you something." Kyuubi added. Then she leaned close and whispered something in Aaron's ear through the bars of the cage. (She was still in there while they were talking) He grinned deviously.

"Ooo, this is gonna be good." Aaron said.

"In return for helping, I'm gonna let you stretch out your limbs and walk around." He told her.

"When I tell you go, channel your chakra into Naruto." Aaron instructed. Kyuubi then nodded.

"Hey Naruto!" He called out.

**Real World**

"Huh? Aaron is that you?" Naruto asked, franticly looking around.

'_Calm down. I just want you to think of a field with a waterfall._' Aaron instructed him.

'_Why?_' Naruto asked.

'_JUST DO IT!_' Came Aaron's booming voice. Naruto sweatdropped.

'_Ok, ok. Jeez._' Naruto squinted with his eyes closed and imagined a lush field with a sparkling waterfall.

**Mindscape**

Kyuubi gasped. Then she hugged Aaron. How? Her cage was gone, and in its place with the seal drawn out on the fertile grass. He had allowed her more mobility, but no escaping from the seal.

"There you...GO!" Aaron yelled. Kyuubi began channeling her chakra into Naruto's tenketsu points. Aaron gave her his special two finger salute, and warped out.

**Real World**

Everyone stared as an orange glow covered Naruto. Then Aaron appeared out of nowhere, frightening the shit out of even the badass Itachi Uchiha.

"I think we're almost ready." Aaron announced. Then he held out his hands. A ball of yellow light appeared in each, then broke apart into little fragments, and one of them went into each person, making them glow a little for a short time.

"What was that?" Tsunade asked.

"You each now have a bit of my power. You can do things up to shooting beams of light out of your eyes, but that's it. Don't waste it." Aaron told them. They all looked at each other and themselves. Each of them was glowing a little bit.

"And the coup de'gras..." Aaron began. He made about 500 hand signs in the blink of an eye. Then he slammed his palm into the ground. A puff of smoke the size of a human appeared near them. When it cleared, Kyuubi was standing there.

"A woman?" Anko asked.

"What are you, a pimp?" She questioned angrily, backhanding the elf. He rubbed his sore cheek.

"First, I'm no pimp. Second, this is no _ordinary _woman." Aaron told them. Then he looked at Kyuubi.

"Would you do the honors?" He asked. She smiled. Then a 200-foot cloud of smoke enveloped her. When it cleared, the mighty Nine-Tailed Demon Fox stood there.

"AH! IT'S THE KYUUBI!" Tsunade cried out.

"Relax, she's on our side." Aaron assured them.

"Are you sure?" Anko asked worriedly. Aaron smiled.

"She's an old friend..." He said as if he was remembering the days when Kyuubi and Illyon would hang out with each other. Anko waved a hand in front of his face.

"Hello! The world's still ending out here!" Anko said, trying to get the raven to focus. He blinked, and looked around.

"Sorry, what?" He asked. Anko smacked him upside the head.

"Baka! We're still at war here!" She said. He rubbed the pain spot sheepishly with a chuckle, and a sweat drop rolled down his head.

"Sorry." Aaron apologized. Then he went back into "general saving the world" mode.

"Each of you are going to need to work together to stall Cryptus while I get the way we will end this war. You are going to need to keep him busy for about half an hour." He ordered. Everyone nodded.

"NOW GO!" Aaron shouted. The group charged towards the battlefield, not caring that civilians were shouting, "DEMON!" at the sight of Kyuubi. Anko stayed behind.

"How did you find a way to come back?" She asked him. He smiled a true smile.

"I stuck by my sensei's motto."

Rule 21: "Those who abandon the rules are trash, but those who abandon their friends are worse than trash." He told her.

"And what was with the dome of light?" Anko also asked. Aaron closed his eyes.

"In a world covered in darkness, we shall remain a beacon of hope." He said poetically. Then he opened his eyes and smiled at her. She smiled back and kissed him.

"Good luck." She said after breaking off. Anko ran back to join the others. Aaron then became enveloped in a ball of light, and it flew upwards. The last thing he heard before coming to heaven was,

"**A GROUP OF FOOLS DARE TO CHALLENGE THE ULTIMATE BEING? HAHAHAHA! LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!**"

'_Dear Kami-chan, I hope this works._' Aaron thought as he entered the clouds.

**BUM BUM BUM! MUAHAHAHA! I AM EVIL! You'll have to find out what happens next…..maybe tomorrow! Or on Tuesday…**

**JA NE! *a shower of barstools flies out, knocking you out* NOW YOU CAN'T WITNESS MY SECRET PLANS! MUAHAHAHA!**


	28. Let's go

**HERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER! YOU GUYS **_**SERIOUSLY**_** THOUGHT I WOULD KILL OFF THE MAIN CHARACTER? WHY THE HELL WOULD I? You're all just weird. Anyways, enjoy chap—**

**Evil Tobi: I'm baaack~.**

**Me: AHHHH! FUCK! *Throws holy water which smashes on evil tobi's face***

**ET(XD): *hisses* DAMN YOU TO HELL, ILLYON! I SHALL USE YOUR MEAT AS FEED FOR MY PETS! *melts into shadows***

**Me: …Fuck-o. Enjoy chapter 28!**

**Rule 22: Use what'cha got.**

**Normal POV**

Aaron dropped out of the ball of light and onto the hardened clouds. Kami came running towards him.

"Aaron! Thank me you're here!" She said.

"What's up? He asked her.

"I've been rallying the strongest people here, but they seem to worry too much. Can you knock some sense into them?" Kami asked the elf. He grinned.

"How?"

"I don't know! Just make sure they know what to do." She told him. He nodded, and his grin grew larger.

"I know exactly what to do." Aaron said. Then he made a henge so his elf ears looked normal.

"I'll be back, and only the strongest will be with me." Aaron told her. He then disappeared in a flash of light, reappearing in front of the (now) startled shinobi. Every past Kage was there, and there were also some famous shinobi.

"Listen up maggots!" Aaron shouted, making everyone focus their attention on him.

"I may look like a regular shinobi to you, but..." He let his henge fall.

"I'm also an elf. That being said, I have superior speed than most humans. But there's another secret beyond that." He let the glowing suns appear on his skin.

"I'm the Sun." He continued, letting the shinobi gawk at him.

"Now Kami has told me that you all are worrying about 'Oh no, we're just spirits. Blah blah-blah blah-blah.' Bullshit. If you all want to be pussies and let world get destroyed, fine by me. But if you want to help save it, then you will listen." Aaron said, surprising all of them at how he didn't use any terms of respect.

"I need only the strongest of all of you to come with me. Normally, anyone would say that the Kage are a must. I'm not Anybody. So I have a test. You are all going to take me on. 300 on one." He continued. There were about 300 shinobi there in total. They all gasped.

"Are you sure that's safe?" The Third asked him.

"If I wasn't sure..." He teleported in front of the Third and kicked him right in that painful spot, making the geezer collapse to the ground in pain.

"Would I do that?" He asked with a fake innocent smile. The Third got back up and sort of scowled. Aaron teleported back to where he had been.

"Now the rules are simple. You come at me as though you're taking the bell test; with the intent to kill. If you get a hit on me, you stop and go stand over there." Aaron continued, pointing to a spot off to the side.

"If I get a hit on you, you need to stop and go over there." He also said, pointing to a spot opposite of the other.

"How will we know if _you_ hit us? What if another shinobi hits us to wipe out the competition?" A shinobi piped up.

"That's a very good question. Come up here for a second." Aaron ordered. The shinobi walked up. It appeared that the shinobi who had asked was Haku.

"So you're Haku, right?" Aaron asked him. Haku nodded.

"I'm friends with Naruto. I assume Zabuza's with you?" Aaron asked. Haku nodded again.

"Can Zabuza Momochi come up here?" Aaron called out. Zabuza walked out from the middle of the crowd.

"Zabuza Momochi, it's an honor to meet one of the Seven Swordsmen." Aaron said, bowing to Zabuza. Zabuza bowed back.

"Say Zabuza is me, and Haku is himself. If Zabuza and Haku are fighting, and Zabuza lands a hit on Haku, Haku will know..." Aaron grew a flaming claw.

"Because of this. He will feel a burning sensation where he was hit." Aaron explained, tapping Haku's shoulder lightly. The clothing Haku was wearing grew red at the shoulder, and the boy held a hand there.

"Sorry about that. You guys can go back now." Aaron apologized, making his fiery claw go away along with the burn on Haku's shoulder. When they had finished walking, Aaron continued.

"Now, the moment I am done speaking, you may attack me. Hell, you can attack me right now! You may use any jutsu you have. I'm not going to hold you back, seeing as how the end of the world is happening below us. You may begin whenever you're ready." As he spoke, nobody moved. Then when he was done, he turned around. Suddenly, a shinobi jumped out, racing towards him. Right as the shinobi neared him, Aaron thrust his fist into the man's gut, leaving a burn as he flew away.

"That's one down." He said. The next thing he knew, 150 shinobi were bounding at him. He grinned as they flew at lightning speed.

"Finally! NOW I can have some fun!" Aaron announced. The first person to reach him was the Fourth. Minato began engaging in lightning speed hand to hand combat with the elf. Aaron kept dodging, all the while striking an opponent on occasion. Finally, someone nearly punched him, and he had to turn around. At that moment, Minato punched him on the back, making him jerk.

"Minato's in." He announced.

**Earth**

They had all started the battle. Right at the beginning, Cryptus fired a breath of darkness at them. They all jumped out of the way at the right time. Then a few of them jumped towards the ultimate dragon, aiming for his heart. He smacked them all away, letting them crash into the ground. Then Cryptus saw Kyuubi.

"**AH, COME HERE TO BE MY QUEEN?**" Cryptus asked smugly.

"**I WOULD RATHER LET THE DEVIL RAPE ME!**" She spat. Cryptus growled.

"**I WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED A POLITE NO, BUT NOW I HAVE TO DESTROY YOU. SUCH A SHAME TO KILL A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.**" He told her with a sigh. She snarled and began to gather chakra near her mouth. Then she raised her head and lowered it, blasting a Tailed Beast Ball at the dragon. He raised his head and blew dark fire, which collided with the beam. The entire battlefield erupted in fire and chakra. When it cleared, Kakashi jumped back towards the dragon. Cryptus kept swiping at him, but the Jounin jumped around from hand to hand. Kakashi landed on top of his head, making Cryptus try to shake him off. He pulled down his headband and looked Cryptus in the eye. That just made the Doom Dragon laugh.

"**YOUR PUNY DOJUTSU CANNOT AFFECT ME!**" Cryptus shouted. Kakashi then made a Raikiri and stabbed Cryptus' eye, making the dragon howl in pain.

"**YOUR BLOOD SHALL STAIN THE SOIL ON WHICH I COVER IN DARKNESS!**" He screamed.

**Heaven**

Aaron turned back around. The same person as before tried to punch him again, and he flipped in the air. Then he held his hand downward, making his fiery claws grow bigger. His hand slammed down on the shoulder of the Sandaime Kazekage, sending a burning pain throughout the man.

"That's two." Aaron said. Three shinobi started attacking at the same time. Aaron kept moving his upper body, twisting and moving about to dodge their blows. Then he sent his leg out, making the three shinobi fly backwards.

"Five down." Aaron said with a grin. Then he felt a sharp pain in his back. He turned around to see Haku with some senbon made of ice floating in the air.

"Naruto's gonna be happy to see you." Aaron told Haku. The boy nodded with a smile and went to go stand with Minato. Then a sword cleaved part of his shoulder. Aaron didn't wince, though; because the part healed immediately He turned around and saw Zabuza holding his sword.

"Naruto will also be happy to see you." Aaron told him. Zabuza smiled. Without his mask, he looked much better.

**Earth**

Cryptus knocked Kakashi off his face and roared.

"**YOUR PUNY REBELLION ENDS NOW! THE WORLD IS MINE!**"

**Heaven**

The next thing Aaron felt was a punch to his side. He turned to see the Sandaime grinning.

"You're in." Aaron told him. The Sandaime nodded and walked off. Suddenly, the elf heard the distinct sound of someone yelling. He turned around to see Kami running towards him.

"Aaron!" She shouted.

"What is it?"

"Cryptus is about to get your friends! We need to do _it_ quickly!" She told him. He nodded. Then he turned to the shinobi.

"As it turns out, we're going to need to speed things up. Just a second..." Aaron told them, and then grabbed his sword.

"Choose the right men." He ordered. The sword flew out of his grasp and began swiping certain men on the shoulder.

"You may notice my sword is slashing you. If it slashes you, you will receive my mark, stating that I am picking you for battle. Those who already got a hit on me are where you will go if you receive my mark." Aaron told the shinobi. They all saluted and he ran off with Kami. They arrived at her house.

"So it's time?" He asked. She nodded. They ran into Kami's house and went to the same secret room where Aaron had received the Hisōzōsha. Kami pressed her hand softly on the wall and a room opened up. There, floating above a pedestal, was the Orb of Glory.

"The only thing able to beat the power of Doom..." Kami said. Aaron nodded at her. Then he walked up to it and held his hands to his sides. His hands had a ball of light appear in each, and his eyes glowed. The orb floated from where it was to in front of him. It remained floating in the air. Aaron then drew a ritualistic symbol underneath him, and a pillar of light surrounded him. It slowly disappeared, and when it did, Aaron stood there with a pair of angel wing tattoos on his chest and his eyes still glowing.

"Let's go."

**Earth**

"**PREPARE FOR THE LIGHT TO DIE, AND GIVE RISE TO THE DARKNESS!**"

**OH NUUUUS! WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Just kidding. Man, school's a bitch in heels with a control freak attitude. Enjoy what the story has so far. Man I hope Evil Tobi doesn't come back.**

**ET: I'M BAAA-**

**Me: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!**

***ET hisses and runs away***

**Me: *mumbles* Demonic retard…trying to scare away my readers…gonna have Kami-chan kick his ass…*notices you* You're still here? I HAVE PLANNING TO DO! GIT! **

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *disappears in a shower of lava* FUCK YEAH!**


	29. My old rival

**DISCLAIMERS! The first lab rat...er...guest is Zetsu!**

Zetsu: You're alive?

**What do **_**you**_** think if I'm standing right here, talking to you?**

Zetsu: You're a mirage created by my psychopathic brain to help me hang on to the last microscopic bit of sanity left in me until after many years of hallucinations, and then I finally snap and have to be put down?

**Wrong. *punches him* Now do you believe I'm alive?**

Zetsu: *nods while rubbing his cheek*

**Good. NOW DO THE DISCLAIMERS!**

Zetsu: Why sh**ould we?**

***grins evilly* Because I have your mother. *holds up cornstalk***

Zetsu: That's no**t our **moth**er!**

**Oh, yeah. *holds up venus flytrap***

Zetsu: Mother! **You evil bastard!**

**I said DO THE FUCKIN' DISCLAIMERS!**

Zetsu: *sigh* Fine. **Jinsokuna does **not own **Naruto**, Naruto **Shippuden**, or any characters **from those two**. But he _**does**_ own **Aaron, **May, **and Rich.** Now can **we go**?

**Yes. NOW GIT 'FORE I GET MY WHIPPIN' STICK!**

Zetsu: *runs for his life*

**That never fails. *wipes a tear from eye* Enjoy chapter 29!**

**Rule 23: Have a **_**backup**_** for the backup.**

**Normal POV**

Cryptus had his head reared back, ready to end their existence. As he lowered his head, a cry rang out.

"SHINRA TENSEI!" An invisible shockwave blew Cryptus back as the nine Akatsuki landed down on the earth.

"What are you all doing here?" Tsunade asked.

"We've come to help in Aaron's name. He sacrificed for us, so we will for him." Pein told her. Tsunade was about to tell them that Aaron was alive, but she figured they could figure it out on their own.

"**SO, MORE PUNY HUMANS HAVE JOINED THE RESISTANCE...NO MATTER; YOU WILL ALL SOON BE GONE!**" Cryptus said. He slashed his black claw at the ground, churning up the tough earth. Everyone jumped out of the reach of the giant monster's appendage. He spent the next few minutes slashing at them, trying to turn their bodies into nothing but steak through a meat grinder. He failed though, and grew extremely annoyed.

"**YOU ARE NOTHING! NOTHING BUT INSECTS! INSECTS WHICH I WILL CRUSH LIKE THE VERMIN THEY ARE!**" Cryptus roared in anger. He raised his maw, and began gathering a dark, dense ball at the entrance of his jaw. Then he lowered his head, and blasted a laser large enough to swallow them whole. The shinobi cringed, ready to accept death, but they didn't feel the heat and pain of the energy. Instead they felt a warm, comforting feeling all around them. Above them was a shield of light, being kept up by none other than Aaron, who was there with the shinobi from heaven.

"JIJI!" Naruto cried out. He ran to hug his favorite Hokage. The Third ruffled the blond's hair.

"It's good to see you, Naruto-kun." He said. Aaron turned his head to Naruto.

"Zabuza and Haku are here as well." Aaron told him with a smile. The hyperactive 14-year old went wide-eyed at the mention of them.

"YOU'RE FUCKING ALIVE?" Hidan asked bewilderedly.

"As alive as you can get motherfucker." Aaron said with a grin. Then he focused on Cryptus.

"**SO, YOU ARE ALIVE. I EXPECTED NOTHING LESS FROM MY GREATEST RIVAL.**" Cryptus said.

"It's good that you have better standards than me dying that easily." Aaron replied with a smile.

"He's your rival?" Anko asked. Aaron stopped holding up the shield and faced them.

"Back when Illyon was still around, he and Cryptus had been old friends and rivals, much like Sasuke and Naruto. They had both been apprentices to the most powerful gods; the sun and the moon. Illyon and Cryptus both were trying to become the next sun and moon. Unfortunately, only Illyon succeeded, which drove him sort of crazy. So Cryptus made some kind of deal with a cloaked old man, and sold his soul to him. He gained great power, but chose to use it for evil. He slew the moon and took his power for himself. Now he's corrupt." Aaron explained.

"**THE STRANGER PROVIDED ME WITH ALL THE POWER I NEEDED! IT FEELS GOOD!**" Cryptus said. Aaron looked at his friends again.

"It's epic battle time." He announced. At that moment, Cryptus let out a torrent of black flames at the reincarnated god. He jumped in the air, and performed and axe kick, sending a wave of light at the flames. The two forces collided for a minute or two, and then exploded in a flash of light. He then flew towards the dragon, with Cryptus slashing and biting at him, but never being able to. Aaron began floating in mid-air while sending wave after wave of energy at Cryptus, never relenting. Then he flew back to the ground with his friends. He held his hands out beside him, and put his left foot behind. Two balls of light appeared in his palms. Then he made a swiping motion with each. Two humongous blades of light shot out at the dragon. He simply roared, and they burst apart. Aaron smirked.

"I love fighting to the death." He commented. Cryptus laughed heartily.

"**IS THIS THE BEST YOU CAN DO, MY OLD FRIEND? THE MIGHTY SUN GOD CAN ONLY SEND OUT PUNY WAVES? AHAHAHAHAHA!**" Aaron's smirk grew fangs.

"Oh trust me, you ain't seen _nothin'_ yet." He told the Doom Dragon.

**BUM BUM BUM! OH I'M SO EVIL! Yeah, school does that to ya when it's a bitch in heels. Well actually, I'm normally insane, and therefore evil is a part of the package, so...whatever... Anyways, the next chapter will come out soon.**

**P.S: I just figured out that in two days, it will be the one-month anniversary of the start of "All the Birds of Akatsuki"! YAYZERS! *confetti flies out* HAPPY UN-BIRTHDAY! WOOHOO! So anyways, I'll see you all when I get back from Sheila. Sheila's what I named my bitch of a school. I HATE YOU SHEILA! BURN, BURN, YOU RELIC OF CONVENTION! I am still living in Steve, the bipolar dimension, though. My sister and I were coming back on a road trip, and I thought it would be fun to think of a name for the dimension we're in. My sister gets semi-high when she's tired, and this was at night, so she got this weird obsession with an imaginary dog named Blitzkrieg (WTF?), and kept saying, "Blitzkrieg, attack!" in a loopy German voice (XD). So I kept thinking of that movie, "Over the Hedge" (which I loved), and thought that we should name our dimension Steve, in honor of the hedge the animals name Steve. But **_**she**_** wanted it to be called Blitzkrieg. So we came to terms and made him bipolar. His regular self is Steve, and his other personality is Blitzkrieg. So now I keep referencing Steve, the bipolar Caucasian dimension. *dramatic echo* He has a condo and collects rare dart fruit.**

**...**

**...**

_**Anyways**_**, Chapter 30 will come out soon!**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *a shower of cotton candy flies out***

**~Jinso**


	30. Expectations

_Omake 1:_

Aaron stood apart from another trainer on the battlefield of the Silver League Conference, holding a pokéball ready.

"Go Blastoise!" The other trainer shouted. The trainer had brown spiky hair and green eyes. He was wearing a light purple long-sleeve tee, blue jeans, and yellow boots. The trainer threw his pokéball into the air, and a giant blue turtle landed on the ground. The turtle stood on two legs, and had two cannons peeking out of its shell. Aaron smirked.

"Charizard, I choose you!" Aaron shouted. He threw his pokéball into the air, and an orange dragon with a flame at the tip of its tail landed on the ground. It roared, and flames flew from its mouth.

"Looks like it's all come to this, eh, Illyon?" The other trainer asked.

"I think it has, Cryptus." Aaron said back with a grin.

_End of Omake 1_

**Did you like my FIRST EVER OMAKE? HELL YEAH, YOU DID! Finally, it's Chapter Thirty! Death to—Wait, I almost spilled it! THANK KAMI-CHAN I DIDN'T!**

**...**

**DISCLAIMERS! YAY! Kisame, you're up!**

Kisame: Why me?

**Because I said so, and I'm the author. I can rain kitteny terror upon your fisheh life. *menacingly glares***

Kisame: No. *folds arms*

**I know how to use a frying pan, **_**fish stick**_**.**

Kisame: I'M NOT A FUCKING FISH STICK!

**Then I guess I'm having shark fin soup for dinner.**

Kisame: You wouldn't.

**Fucking. Try. Me, Fish Stick. *makes a fireball in hand***

Kisame: Dammit. *sighs* Fine. *turns to you* Jinso does not own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, The Akatsuki, Naruto, his friends, Anko, or _any_ Naruto characters at all, but he does own Aaron, May, Rich, Cryptus, the stranger, and Evil Tobi. Speaking of which, where is that demonic bastard?

Evil Tobi: Right here, Kisame-kuuun~. :)

Kisame: AHHHH! GET THE FUCK AWAY, DEMONIC SHIT! *throws a cross*

Evil Tobi: *hisses* WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOU PEOPLE? I JUST WANTED SOME PENTAGRAM SUGAR!

**Oh. I'll get some from Hidan. *walks off***

Evil Tobi: So, do you come here often, Kisame-kuuuun~?

Kisame: JINSO! GET BACK HERE! HE'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!

***zooms back in* Why are you trying to rape him?**

Evil Tobi: I wasn't! I just asked if he came to this disclaimer room often! I like to learn interesting tidbits about people.

**Oh. *slaps Kisame* If you shout rape again without it actually being that, **_**or**_** Orochimaru, I'll turn you into a tasty snack, **_**fish stick**_**.**

Kisame: *nods frantically*

**Good. Enjoy Chapter 30!**

**Sadly, this Chapter has no rule, but don't worry, I SHALL POST TWO RULES IN THE NEXT! YOSH! AND IF I CANNOT DO THAT, I SHALL TYPE UNTIL MY FINGERS BLEED ENOUGH FOR ME TO DIE! Whoa...I just had a Gai moment...WHAT. THE. FUCK.**

**Normal POV**

"**OH REALLY? I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING YET, HM? WELL THEN, SHOW ME. SHOW ME WHAT YOU HAVE TO OFFER!**" Cryptus yelled. Aaron grinned.

"Alright, but it might be too much." He warned.

"**TOO MUCH? HA! THERE IS NOTHING THIS FORM CANNOT HANDLE!**" Cryptus said with a laugh.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Aaron told him. He stood in a meditating stance. Aaron started floating up in the air.

"Keep him busy." The elf ordered. Then he turned his head to Drelgo, who had come along.

"Drelgo, you and your men need to use 'it'." Aaron told them. Drelgo and the other elves nodded. Floating orbs came out of Aaron and went into the other people. A shield of light formed around each.

"You have the sun's protection." Aaron said calmly. Then he went into battle mode.

"DRELGO! ELVES! NOW!" He shouted. All the elves spoke in unison.

"ANCIENT RITUAL: SHINING LIGHT FROM ABOVE!" They yelled, slamming their palms into the ground. Elegant and strange symbols carved themselves into the ground below Aaron, formed by a blue light. They made the symbol of Illyon, which looked quite strange, but fascinated you at the same time.

"NOW, HOLD HIM OFF!" Aaron shouted/ordered. The shinobi moved quickly to restart the battle. Many of them yelled out, but one of many cries was this author's favorite:

"LET'S GO, YOU MOTHER-FUCKIN' GODLESS DIPSHITS, AND KICK SOME DARK, PUNK-SHIT ASS! MOTHER FUCK YEAH!"

**BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! I'M FUCKIN' HILARIOUS! Yeah, sooo I will try to get the next chapter out soon! I have extra time this weekend. Do you know why? BECAUSE OF MOTHER-FUCKIN' LABOR DAY! An extra day off school means extra typing! YAY! So review unless you want a boulder to fall from the sky after you just ran into a rock formation's side, crushing you in a cartoon-like fashion, except your innards will spill out, and I will be there to drink them hungrily, and laugh, laugh maniacally as you scream for mercy and death! MUAHAHAHAAHAHA! Yeah, I know, I'm scary. It's part of the fuckin' package, people. REVIEW! I say fuck too much. Oh well. It's yet another part of the package. AGAIN, FUCKIN' REVIEW! My favorite word starts with f, and ends with uck. That's right, the word is fuck! LIVE WITH IT, BITCHES!**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *disappears in a flash of light* A BADASS WAY, BITCHES!**


	31. We're here to kick ass and chew gum

**DISCLAAAAIMEERS! Pein, it's your turn.**

Pein: Why do I have to?

**PWEEEASE?**

Pein: No.

**PWEEEEEEASE?**

Pein: No.

**PWEEEEEEEEEEEEASE? *uses the dreaded puppy dog eyes***

Pein: *gets unnerved* Uh...Uh...May-Maybe...

**I'll get Tobiii~.**

Pein: No.

**Fine. *runs off to get Tobi***

Tobi: What does Aaron-senpai want?

**Leader-sama killed apple-chan.**

Tobi:...

Pein: Tobi...You're being awfully quiet...

Tobi:...You..killed..Apple-chan...

**That, and he won't do the nice disclaimers. Disclaimer-san did nothing to him! So what do you propose we do?**

Tobi: Make him suffer...

Pein: WHAT?

**You **_**heard**_** him. YOU MUST SUFFER!**

Tobi: *goes right up to Pein and whispers in his ear* You will wish you had never done a thing to Apple-chan or Disclaimer-san, because I will terrorize you for the rest of your life, and finally, when you crack under the pressure of running from me, I will be there to drink up your blood and seminal fluids while you burn and wither like a flower under a magnifying glass.

Pein: *pisses his pants*

**HA! I see a puddle on the floor! I wonder who it belongs to. Tobi, go put up flyers!**

Tobi: Okay, Aaron-senpai! *turns to Pein* Remember what Tobi said... *runs off*

Pein: I...I'm not going to slee-sleep tonight...*shivers*

**Just do the disclaimers, and I'll get you some sleep pills.**

Pein: O-Okay. *Turns to you* Jinso does not own any of the Naruto characters, the series, or anything previously mentioned except Aaron, May, Rich, Cryptus, the Stranger, the elves, Evil Tobi, Apple-chan *shivers*, and Disclaimer-san. Please get me the pills now.

**Sure thing. While Pein takes some pills because Tobi went into "Badass Mode", please enjoy Chapter 31.**

**Rule 24: TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!**

**Rule 25: We're here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and we're all out of bubblegum.**

**Normal POV**

The shinobi were charging towards Cryptus. Behind Aaron, you could see something forming from its lowest part up. Cryptus began to take notice, and said,

"**SO, YOU WISH TO DO IT THAT WAY? NO MATTER, I CAN CRUSH ANY PUNY THING YOU SEND AT ME!**" Tobi suddenly hopped up on Cryptus' head.

"TOBI WON'T LET YOU HURT AARON-SENPAI BECAUSE **TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!**" Tobi yelled. He began slamming his fists into Cryptus' maw. The Doom Dragon kept trying to shake him off, but the hyperactive masked man held on with an iron grip. This gave the other shinobi time to perform more attacks. Everyone jumped as fast as they could towards the titan. Suddenly, a large beam of light shot up into the sky.

"The first stage is complete." Aaron announced. Behind him was one third of something's body.

"**SO YOU **_**DO**_** PLAN TO GO ALL-OUT. SO BE IT.**" Cryptus said. Then he roared.

"**YOUR GRAVE SHALL MARK THE START OF MY REIGN!**" The dragon shouted. He then blew dark fire down upon the battlefield, hoping to make the shinobi turn to dust. But they were shielded by the light Aaron had given them, so they remained unscathed. They all jumped back into action, kicking and punching, clawing and slashing, techniquing and jutsuing. (words I made up) They still couldn't get to the darkness dragon that stood before them.

"**HA! YOUR PUNY ATTACKS CAN DO NOTHING AGAINST THE ULTIMATE BEING!**" Cryptus shouted with a laugh. They all were starting to lose morale. Maybe they _wouldn't_ be able to stall him enough. Maybe they _couldn't_ win. Maybe they'd all die. What if Cryptus actually won? Aaron could sense them starting to get depressed.

"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE A BUNCH OF PUSSIES, YOU HEAR ME?" He shouted. They all looked at him surprised.

"SO WHAT IF HE CAN BLOCK ALL YOUR ATTACKS? THERE'S ONE THING HE _CAN'T_ BLOCK!" He told them.

"AND THAT'S YOUR UNBREAKABLE SPIRIT! YOU WERE ALL BORN TO HELP SAVE THE WORLD!" He continued, making each of them start to think positive.

"NOW, WE CAME HERE TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLEGUM, AND WE'RE ALL OUT OF BUBBLEGUM! SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?" He asked them.

"KICK ASS!" They all shouted.

"THAT'S RIGHT! WE'RE GONNA KICK ASS!"

"And we're gonna be proud of it!" Kisame yelled out.

"DAMN STRAIGHT, WE'RE GONNA BE PROUD!" Aaron told them. They all cheered.

"NOW LET'S WIN ONE FOR THE WORLD!" He finished, letting them all cheer to the sky.

"**SO YOU ALL STILL THINK YOU CAN BEAT **_**ME**_**, THE GREATEST BEING IN THE UNIVERSE? HA! THAT IS THE MOST FOOLISH THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!**" Cryptus said.

"We don't _think_ we can beat you..." Aaron began.

"**OH RLY?**" Cryptus asked him.

"We _know_ we can beat you." The elf finished.

"**AND WHY MIGHT THAT BE?**" The dragon questioned.

"The second stage is complete." Aaron told him with a smirk. Behind Aaron stood what looked like two thirds of a person. Cryptus looked surprised.

"**I AM TRULY SURPRISED. NO ONE HAS EVER MADE IT TO THE SECOND STAGE BEFORE.**" The dragon told him.

"That's because I hadn't done it." He said.

"**THEN THIS WILL BE MOST INTERESTING...**"

**BUM BUM BUM, YET AGAIN, YA MOFO'S! I'm just plain fucking evil. TODAY CELEBRATES THE ONE-MONTH ANNIVERSARY OF THE BIRTH OF ALL THE BIRDS OF AKATSUKI! YAY! Break out the gin! Boburrito, stop humping that cactus! FIESTA! ARRRRIBA! This is actually perfect because since it's the end of my first week of school, I'm going to the Melting Pot! HELL YEAH! So I can celebrate my first week of surviving Sheila, **_**AND**_** I can celebrate the one-month anniversary of my fanfic! HOORAY! I'll see you all soon!**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *disappears in a shower of cake mix***


	32. Goodbye, old friend

**DISCLAIMERS! HOO-RAA! It's Deidara's turn!**

Deidara: Why me? Un.

**Please do it for me.**

Deidara: But I don't want to.

**If you do it, I'll get Pein to give you a day off.**

Deidara: OH HELL YES! UN! I _NEED_ TO GET AWAY FROM THAT MONSTER OF A LOLLIPOP!

Tobi: *starts sniffling* That...That was mean, Deidara...

**OH MY GOD, HE DIDN'T USE THE HONORIFIC "SENPAI"! DEIDARA, YOU FUCKED UP ****BIG TIME****!**

Deidara: Oh shit, un. I'm sorry, Tobi! Don't cry!

Tobi: *starts bawling* TOBI IS SAD! *runs off*

**NICE GOING. Now Pein is gonna have your ass on a silver platter. Or is there a mouth there, too, **_**hmm**_**?**

Deidara: There ISN'T!

**Do you kiss your own ass with that mouth?**

Deidara: SHUT UP!

**I'm just sayin'. If there's a mouth there, you'd probably use it to kiss your own ass.**

Deidara: SHUT THE MOTHER-FUCK UP, YOU DIPSHIT! UN!

**Did you and Hidan switch lives?**

Deidara: I SAID SHUT THE—

Pein: Deidara, did you make Tobi cry?

Deidara: Y-Yes, un...

Pein: I see...Sharingan him.

**SIR, YES SIR! *Sharingans Deidara* There you go.**

Pein: Thank you. *drags Deidara off*

**I better go check on Tobi. *goes to Tobi's room* Tobi, are you OK?**

Tobi: Tobi is sad. Go away, Aaron-senpai. *is in emo corner*

**Tobi...it's okay...**

Tobi: Why was Deidara-senpai so mean? :'(

**He's like Konan; He PMS's every once in a while.**

Tobi: What's PMS?

**You'll learn when you're older. Now how I about I get you a day off so you can see all the happy candy stores?**

Tobi: Candy? TOBI WANTS CANDY!

**All you have to do is do the Disclaimers. Disclaimer-san would like that.**

Tobi: Okay! Tobi is going to do disclaimers because Tobi is a good boy! Jinso-senpai does not own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any of the characters affiliated with them. If he did, he would give TOBI TONS OF CANDY IN EVERY EPISODE! YAY! Jinso-senpai _does_ own Aaron, May, Rich, the elves, Cryptus, the Stranger, and Evil TOBI! YAY! CAN TOBI HAVE CANDY NOW?

**One sec. * walks out in the hallway* PEIN, IF YOU DON'T GIVE TOBI THE DAY OFF, I'LL FRY YOUR ZOMBIE ASS LIKE MY MORNING BACON!**

Pein: *yells back from office* Okay, okay! JEEZ! Tobi, you have the day off.

Tobi: YAY! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!

Pein: *is still yelling from office* Why does he need the day off?

**I'm giving him candy as a pick-me-up.**

Pein:...*still speaking from office* God help us.

**Whatever. Tobi, Let's go get some CANDEH!**

Tobi: YAY! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! *runs out the door with Jinso*

Pein:...Enjoy chapter 32.

**Rule 26: If you push someone off the deep end, be prepared to get pulled in with them.**

**Normal POV**

"Oh yes, it will be interesting." Aaron told the doombringer.

"**LET'S MAKE THIS **_**MORE**_** INTERESTING...**" Cryptus suggested.

"How?" Aaron asked interestedly. Cryptus raised his head and roared. Dark flashes popped out on the ground, and there stood an army of skeletal warriors, picked right out of their stony graves for battle.

"**WITH MORE FOES OF COURSE.**" Cryptus said.

"Good. I was hoping you weren't rusty." Aaron said with a smirk.

"**CREATURES OF THE SHADOWS! DESTROY THE LIGHT, AND LET DARKNESS TAKE ITS PLACE!**" The dragon shouted with a mighty flourish, letting the undead fighters know what to do. They all charged, their jaws and joints clacking and rattling like a house during an earthquake, their soulless, blank eyes staring, and their weapons raised.

"JUST KEEP THEM BUSY FOR A LITTLE BIT LONGER!" Aaron ordered. His friends leaped into battle, letting out a might cry of war. They ran straight into the crowd of skeletons, and began hacking and slashing at them. Aaron stayed in his meditating pose as they fought and fought.

...

5 minutes went by.

...

...

30 minutes went by.

...

...

...

An hour went by.

...

...

...

...

2 hours went by.

...

...

...

...

...

...

They were still battling the forces of darkness. By now, the shinobi were tiring out, but the undead kept coming. They had no life; no soul; no energy. Therefore, they could never get tired. Aaron noticed the drop in their energy and became irritated.

"DON'T GIVE UP JUST YET!" He told them. With that sentence, he sent yet another glowing ball of light into each of them. They were revitalized; renewed, and full of new energy. They kicked it all back into gear, going at a faster speed than normal while Aaron was still continuing his technique. They fought for many hours. No one knew when it was day and when it was night. The sun was gone, so only the moon shone. She lay in the night sky, without her lover. They had always paralleled each other, and thus, were perfect together. But now that her lover was gone, she had no one. So she wept each day, never leaving the place where he was. Aaron felt sorry for her, and tried to think of ways he could do something while the fight raged on. He spent the minutes thinking and pondering while collecting his energy. Maybe he could free her lover. Bring them together once more. But how? After what could have been three days, he heard a voice. It sounded faint, like the voice of a small child a few yards away. It was soothing, and he listened intently.

"The orb lies below the heart, as well as her lover. Free him, and set the two together once more." It told him gently. The voice reminded Aaron of a distant memory that he could only tell was from when he was maybe one year old by how faint it was. He was inside a forest. Not the forest where he had been lost; on his homeworld, Ra'drith. A young girl, maybe fourteen called from behind him with a gentle voice. Aaron had walked over to them.

"What's your name?" The girl asked. She was the same girl the sweet voice had belonged to.

"A-Alren." He said timidly.

"Well, I hope we can be friends." She told him. The young boy brightened up at that thought.

"Really?" He asked.

"Really." She assured him. They seemed so far away now. Were they still alive? And if they were, did they remember him? He tried to focus more on that memory.

"What's _your_ name?" Aaron asked her.

"Kyuubi. I hope you can remember it." It was Kyuubi. So she had known who he was all along. He shook the thought from his mind and woke from his stupor. He started trying to match the voice he had heard with another one, but he could only think of one voice: his mother's. He snapped out of it once more and focused. Saving the world was more important right now. So he continued meditating; sharpening his mind, body, and soul.

**Time skip of awesomesauceness: 2 hours later (third day of fighting)**

It was finally time; a glowing image of a person stood to Aaron. Cryptus' forces were nearly defeated. He got out of his meditating pose and landed on the ground.

"CRYPTUS!" Aaron shouted.

"YOUR TIME HAS COME!"

"**OH REALLY? MY TIME HAS COME? TELL ME, WHAT **_**IS**_** MY TIME?**" Aaron grinned.

"The dawn of a new day." Cryptus looked and saw the image standing next to him. He was shocked.

"**YOU COMPLETED THE THIRD STAGE?**" He asked bewilderedly.

"Yes, yes I did." Aaron answered smugly. Then he stood in a ritual stance.

"I call upon my ally; my predecessor; my mentor..." He began.

"ILLYON! LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE OUT AND REVEAL A NEW DAY AS YOU EMERGE FROM THE SPIRIT WORLD!" Aaron then shouted. The image beside him, which looked like a crash test dummy, except without the sign on the head, and having full limbs and connecting body parts, began to glow. Its form slowly changed to that of the sun god, Illyon. He wore an animal fur cloak, basically all tribal clothing, When it was fully formed, Illyon looked at Aaron and studied him.

"So you are my reincarnation..." Illyon said blankly.

"I am." Aaron told him.

"I can see your capabilities and personality in your eyes. I am proud to have someone such as you be my new life."

"And I am honored." Aaron said back. Then Illyon looked at Cryptus.

"Hello old friend." He said with a smile.

"**ILLYON, IT'S YOU?**" Cryptus asked.

"Yes it is. I can't believe what's happened to you."

"**WHAT HAPPENED CANNOT CHANGE. I AM WHO I AM NOW.**" Cryptus told him. As he said those words, he realized the severity of his actions. Cryptus realized that he could never amend for everything he had done. Aaron saw his expression, and realized that he had figured it out.

"**OLD FRIEND, I WILL SEE YOU IN THE SPIRIT WORLD.**" Cryptus said as a final goodbye. Illyon nodded with a sad smile.

"I wish this didn't have to happen, but it must." Aaron said gloomily with a sigh. He held his hands forward. Illyon walked up to him and merged with his body, causing his hair to turn into flames, his eyes and skin to glow, his hands and feet to turn into fiery claws, his legs and arms to catch on fire, and his chest to have the insignia of the sun god. Then Aaron started floating up in the air. He held his hands out, and directed them right below Cryptus heart.

"SOUL BEAM!" Aaron shouted. A magnificent and deadly laser erupted from his palms and flew towards Cryptus at unbelievable speeds. If you had slowed time down, you could see small tears coming from both Aaron and Cryptus' eyes. The laser burst into Cryptus chest, and the dragon's breath started hitching. Everyone watched in shock. Aaron had done it. A small orb of light burst out of Cryptus, and flew up into the sky. It then grew bigger and bigger, changing back into the sun. Cryptus began to shrink as he was breathing his final breaths. Then he lay on the ground defeated, back into human form. Aaron went over to him.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way..." He said. Cryptus smiled a weak and bloody smile.

"Don't be." Cryptus said back. Now that he was human, his voice had changed from raspy and evil to a friendly and semi-deep voice. It sounded like silk, his voice.

"I chose this path, and yet you tried to save me. That is all I could ever ask for." His eyes started closing as he spoke. And with a heaving breath, he said his final words.

"Thank you..." All movement left his body. Cryptus lay there with a sad smile on his face, his eyes staring into the distant sky, dreaming of a different life. Tears fell one-by-one from Aaron.

"My dear friend, if only I could have rescued you..." Everyone looked at Cryptus' body. He had black spiky hair, tan skin, and blue-green eyes. In fact, they were the most brilliant shade of any color they had seen besides Naruto's. He wore green and brown tribal-like clothing, and had moccasins on his feet. Aaron gingerly picked up Cryptus' dead body, and carried it a few feet away. He closed his eyes, and a memorial tomb made of light appeared in front of him. Aaron then walked inside and set Cryptus' body down. He walked back outside. While they had been fighting, many villagers had come to see who would win. They cheered when Aaron had killed Cryptus, but were angry when he had buried him.

"He now rests in a proper grave." Aaron announced sadly. They all walked back to the village, with the civilians trailing them. When they got back inside the gates, everyone came to them cheering loudly. After many people came up to Aaron and asked "How did you do it?"— to which he replied "It was hard."—, a civilian shouted out.

"A proper grave? Why would you put that _thing_ inside a grave? It was a demon; a MONSTER!" Aaron eyes started glowing red in fury (like a mongoose's).

"A monster? _He_ was a monster?" He began to ask emotionlessly.

"HE WAS A MONSTER! HE THREATENED TO KILL US ALL!" They shouted at him.

"Really? Tell me, do you know what true loss is like?" Aaron asked them.

"Of course I do! THE DEMON BRAT KILLED MY BROTHER!" They yelled. The person who was yelling was a man with a gruff voice.

"First, NARUTO IS NOT A DEMON. Second, _no_, you _don't_ know what true loss is." Aaron told them.

"Have you ever had a friend who became so corrupted that he went down a path that would ultimately end in his death, and there was _nothing_—" He spat that word out with such venom that he could have been mistaken for a cobra.

"—You could do?" He asked them, sending out waves of killer intent. Everyone started to back away from him.

"Has your best friend ever tried to kill you because their mind had been twisted beyond all belief?" Aaron asked, starting to sound sickeningly manic.

"Have you ever found yourself wondering whether or not they're worth fighting for?" Aaron continued. There was silence.

"You have never had any of those things happen to you." He said in his coldest voice. The voice was cold; like ice. It felt frigid enough that it could make Hell freeze over.

"Cryptus was not a demon. I should know. I know of the demon world, and every youkai in it. They would never bring harm to an innocent child," He gestured to Naruto.

"Nor would they be so cruel to a woman who had her whole life thrown away by a traitor." He gestured to Anko.

"You are the demons." Aaron continued. The citizens began to get spastic about what he had just said.

"_Demons_, the things you fear will get you in your sleep, don't even harm a child. If you ever wish to see what a demon or a monster looks like, go home and look in a mirror." Aaron told them. They all began yelling at him.

"Cryptus was a friend, NO, _more than a friend_. He was a friend since the very beginning. And you have the GALL to call him a demon? You are lucky that I have not called upon the gods to smite you all!" He spat at them, increasing his anger and killer intent.

"IF I EVER HEAR ANYONE, AND I MEAN ANYONE, CALL CRYPTUS ANYTHING BAD, I WILL PERSONALLY GIVE THEM A ONE-WAY PLANE TICKET TO HELL!" He shouted.

"Who do you think you are, telling us what to do?" A civilian retorted.

"The only person in the universe with enough power to turn your greatest fears and worst nightmares into reality, the reality which you will have to live through EVERY. DAY. OF. YOUR. LIFE." Aaron finished, spiking his KI through the roof. The shinobi from heaven had gone back, seeing that the battle was over.

"I have to rest now, because I'm almost out of energy. I will be asleep for a week. DON'T THINK YOU CAN TALK ABOUT CRYPTUS WHILE I'M ASLEEP. I will have my friends be listening to see if anyone is talking bad about him. They will tell me who is and isn't and who did and didn't. Once they tell me your name, your fate is set, and you WON'T be able to escape it." He told them mercilessly. Then he stormed off to a house he had bought when he first came here, leaving enough KI for the civilians to start gagging and begging for air.

**YAY! I FINALLY FINISHED THE CHAPTER! I went to the Melting Pot last night, and it was SO good! I'm glad that the one-month anniversary of All the Birds of Akatsuki was yesterday, because I also got a video game. It's a DS game, but so what? I play DS; nothing wrong with it. I thank you all for reading so far, and reviewing. YOU STILL NEED TO THOUGH. Otherwise, Aaron will turn your greatest fears and worst nightmares into reality. *cue dramatic lighting* REVIEW! BWAHAHAHAHA!**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *disappears in a soul beam which knocks you out* BYEEEEEE!**


	33. All good deeds must be punished

**HELLO! I'M BACK AGAIN! DISCLAAAAIMEERS! Deidara, it's your turn again. DON'T MESS UP THIS TIME.**

Deidara: I'm still mad at you, un.

**DO THE DISCLAIMERS OR I SHALL UNLEASH THE TOBI!**

Deidara: You wouldn't.

**I gave him about 200 dollars worth of candy.**

Deidara: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! AHHHHH! UN! OMGWTFBBQ?

***slaps Deidara*Not if you do the disclaimers.**

Deidara: But I don't want to, un.

***brings in a cage with Tobi in it who is bouncing around like a molecule***

Tobi: HI, DEIDARA-SENPAI! TOBI HAD CANDY! CAN DEIDARA-SENPAI PLAY HOUSE WITH TOBI? TOBI WANTS TO PLAY HOUSE BECAUSE TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!

Deidara: You're evil.

**Yes, I know. My family has told me that for years. I even said so.**

Deidara: I have no choice, do I? Un.

**Nope. *smiles and does an eye smile like Kakashi* Now do the disclaimers.**

Deidara *sigh* Jinso does not own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any characters affiliated with them. He does own Aaron, May, Cryptus, Rich, the Stranger, Apple-chan, Disclaimer-san, Evil Tobi *major shiver*, the elves, and Illyon. Enjoy the chapter.

***while Deidara is talking, lifts up cage door* *when Deidara is finished* TOBI, ATTACK!**

Tobi: DEIDARA-SENPAI!

Deidara: *points finger accusingly* YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T! *gets hyper-glomped by Tobi*

**I'm evil. Of course I did. I'm also insane, and a trickster.**

Deidara: I HATE YOU!

**You'll love me by the end of the chapter. Enjoy it, peoples!**

**Rule 27: All good things must be punished. (one of my dad and I's favorite sayings)**

**Normal POV**

**Time skip: One week**

When Aaron woke up, he was for some reason in the Akatsuki base. He could faintly remember a conversation happening before he fell asleep.

_Flaaaaashbaaaack~_

"_So why would you want to keep him with you?" Anko asked the Akatsuki outside his bedroom door.._

"_We are a group of S-Ranked shinobi. He'd be much safer with us than here, where people could try to assassinate him while he slept.' Pein told her._

"_Are you sure?" She pressed._

"_Abso-fuckin'-lutely, bitch!" Hidan said. Kakuzu whacked him upside the head. Anko sighed._

"_Fine." She conceded._

"_But he comes back in twelve days or else." Anko then added. _

"_Deal." Pein agreed. Before he could hear anything else, darkness started to consume his vision. The last thing his tired mind could comprehend was someone picking him up._

_Ooooooveeer~_

Aaron sat up with a long yawn. His chest felt heavier than normal, and his voice sounded higher pitched, but he didn't care. He had gotten the greatest sleep of his life, and his energy was completely renewed. So he got out of the room he had stayed in with the Akatsuki before and walked to the kitchen. Konoha had come out with a kind of energy drink after Aaron had won, and named it Sunlight, after him. A few times throughout the week, he had woken up and had a little bit of the drink each time. Aaron had quickly grown accustomed to its taste, and so the Akatsuki had bought 4 12-packs of it for him. In the kitchen he saw Hidan drinking a can of his energy drink.

"Hey, mofo," Hidan looked at him.

"Who said you could drink my Sunlight?" Aaron asked sternly.

"Um...Who the fuck are you, bitch?" Hidan asked.

"I'm not a bitch, you jackass, and you know who I am!" He replied angrily.

"You don't get to fuckin' cuss at me, you dipshit whore!" Hidan yelled back.

"I'M NOT A FUCKIN' WHORE!" Aaron shouted at him, with his head growing about 10x bigger. It was his version of Iruka's "Mega Head" jutsu.

"Pein, there's a hot bitch we don't know in the goddamn base! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!" Hidan yelled in the direction of a door. Pein walked into the room.

"Hidan, if you shout at me again, you're gonna—" Pein tried to threaten, but could only keep staring at Aaron.

"What?" Aaron asked. Pein then moved forward, grabbed Aaron by the throat, and slammed him against a wall.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Pein asked with a growl.

"You know who I am! I saved the world, _and_ your collective asses!" Aaron yelled back, shoving Pein off of him.

"For a normal girl, you shouldn't be able to push me away..." Pein mused.

"I'M NOT A FUCKING GIRL! If you all are pranking me, I'm gonna burn the body you're currently using, Nagato!" Aaron threatened him.

"How do you know that?" Pein questioned.

"FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, YOU ALL NOW WHO I AM, AND HOW I KNOW THAT!" Aaron yelled at the top of his lungs. May and Rich came running in the room.

"Who's she?" Rich asked, pointing to Aaron.

"ARE YOU GUYS PRANKING ME TOO?" Aaron yelled again.

"Calm down. Who are you?" May asked.

"It's me! You guys know who I am! We've been best friends since Kindergarten!" He told them.

"How do you know what Kindergarten is?" Rich questioned.

"Guys! It's me, Aaron! Of course I know what Kindergarten is!"

"How do you know who he is?" They asked, interested.

"I'm him! I saved the world with you guys' help!" He said.

"Prove it, bitch." Hidan said, folding his arms. Aaron held out his hand in the air. It changed into a fiery claw. When he turned it back, they were all gawking.

"Aaron...That's really you?" Rich asked slowly.

"Of course it's me! That's what I've been trying to tell you for the last ten minutes!" He said loudly. Then he looked at them questioningly.

"Why would you think it wasn't?" Aaron asked. Rich just pointed a finger at his torso. Aaron looked down slowly, and then grimaced in horror. His chest was a tiny bit over 25 centimeters bigger than normal. It made sense now. His voice was higher, and his chest felt heavier. A loud

"WHAT THE FUCK?" rang out throughout the base. Aaron was somehow...a girl. He placed his hands up in his jet black (and now longer) hair.

"There's no way this is possible..." Aaron said in a scared voice. Pein handed him a mirror. Aaron held it up to his face. Every single one of his facial features seemed more feminine than before; his eyelashes a little bit longer, his chin more curved than blocky, his hair even having a feminine look. Then he decided to go into the bathroom to see what his entire body looked like. There was a full body mirror in every bathroom so the members could look at their outfits and such. Konan, of course, had been the one to make this happen. Aaron looked over his new body for a few minutes. He was wearing one of his regular black tees, though his chest stood out from everything else, and he made himself out to be a D-cup. He was also wearing regular dark blue shorts. Every single curve on his body stood out now, and he was pretty sure that if he was looking at himself from another guy's point of view, he would have started drooling. It felt weird having breasts and a vagina, since he had been a guy before. They might've slowed him down, had he been a regular shinobi. But being one of the few definitions of stamina and speed, he wasn't hindered in the slightest, down to even the tiniest molecule. When he got back to the kitchen, every member was standing in the room, with the eight people—Sasori, Deidara, Kisame, Itachi, Konan, Tobi, Zetsu, and Kakuzu— who didn't know it was Aaron looking at him strangely.

"Who's the girl?" Sasori asked.

"And do you think she'll wanna go out with me? (un)" Kisame and Deidara asked in unison.

"Tobi thinks Girl-chan looks pretty!" The masked man said, clapping his hands and jumping up and down. Truthfully, he was just as confused as the others, but didn't want to intimidate the girl just yet. Kisame and Deidara both stared angrily at each other.

"I wanna ask her out!" Kisame shouted.

"No, I do! Un!" Deidara yelled back.

"I do!"

"I do!"

"I DO!"

"I DO!"

"I DO!"

"I DO!" Pein growled and performed the Mega Head Jutsu.

"SHUT UP!" He yelled, blowing their hair back as gusts of wind hit their faces.

"I know you're all wondering who this girl is, and why she's here." Pein began.

"This is going to shock you, but this girl is Aaron." He told them. They all stared disbelievingly. Then Kisame, Deidara, Konan, and Tobi burst into laughter.

"That's a good one, Leader!" Deidara said, wiping tears from his eyes. Aaron just held out a hand emotionlessly, and grew a fiery claw. They stopped dead in their tracks.

"How is that possible?" Konan asked with wide eyes and a zoned out stare.

"Apparently, _someone_ thought it would be good if I got genderbended." Aaron said while scowling at the sky. (he explained genderbending to them while surfing fanfics here a bunch of chapters back)

**Author: Hey man, don't look at me. I didn't do this one. I'm not a pervert. Well, then again, everyone's a pervert. Some people just know how to hide it.**

He just turned towards the person who is reading this story right now.

"If any of you perverts out there draw me in an explicit and sexual way, your lives will become hell." Aaron threatened. Everyone stared at him like he had grown a second head.

"Are you sure we should be breaking the fourth wall?" May asked him.

"The readers need to know that piece of information." He simply answered. No one decided to ask what she meant. Suddenly, Kisame and Deidara both started vomiting.

"Ewwww." Aaron said. Everyone agreed by taking a large step away from the pile of bile.

"Why'd you puke?" Rich asked.

"I'm guessing they both, being the perverts they are, had been thinking about doing some very inappropriate things with Aaron before they learned who he was." Konan speculated. As if on cue, every male (including Aaron) bent over and puked, except for Pein (who still had bent over), seeing as how he was a corpse and therefore void of any stomach acid. When all the guys recovered, May brought up an interesting point.

"You know, now that you're a girl, if you keep your regular name, people will think you're crazy." She pointed out.

"Yeah, that is true..." Rich agreed.

"So I need a girl name?" Aaron asked them. May nodded. For some reason, Tobi was sniffing Aaron's hair.

"RAPE!" Aaron screamed. He grabbed Tobi's head and threw him into the wall, letting pieces of it fall off.

"Deidara-senpai, what's rape?" Tobi asked while sitting on top of a pile of rubble. Deidara tensed up.

"Um...You'll learn when you're older, un." He said, casually playing it off. A couple of people started glaring at Aaron.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT'LL COST TO FIX THAT WALL?" Kakuzu shouted. Aaron shrugged sheepishly.

"Sorry. I just got turned into a girl, my mind is on the fritz, and seeing as how you guys are criminals and what Deidara and Kisame were thinking of earlier, I don't know if one of you guys is gonna jump me or not." He said nervously. They nodded in understanding. It was hard being around ten male criminals and being a girl. Then he turned to Tobi.

"Tobi, why were you sniffing my hair?" He asked the childish shinobi.

"Tobi thought Aaron-senpai's hair smelled like lilies, and Tobi likes lilies, so he thought it smelled good!" Tobi said happily.

"Oh." *cue sheepish rubbing of head*

"I think Tobi just gave me an idea for your name!" Konan exclaimed. All eyes focused on her.

"What?" Aaron asked.

"Yuriko! (lily child)" She said with a smile. Aaron thought for a moment.

"Yeah, that could work." He said. Aaron smiled. Then he frowned.

"What is it?" Konan asked, thinking he might not like the name.

"I don't know how the hell I'm going to explain this to Anko..." Aaron said. Kisame grew a perverted grin.

"Alright, lesbians!" He said goofily. Somehow, a frying pan appeared in both Konan and Aaron's hands, and they each whacked one side of his head. Konan hit the front, and Aaron whacked the back, sandwiching his face between the two pans of death. Kisame fell to the ground unconscious with a bloody nose, a bruised head, and a black eye. Aaron folded his arms.

"Typical pervert." He said, blowing one of his new bangs out of his face. Itachi grabbed Kisame's leg and dragged him into his room.

"So you're going to be called Yuriko now?" Rich asked.

"I'm not completely sure. I might want to think up some other names first." He said.

"It'll take me a while. I'll be in my room. No one is allowed to bother me. I need a couple of hours to think this through." Aaron added. Not even willing to let anyone interrupt his thought process by answering, he went to his room instantly.

"This is so fucked up..." Pein said, rubbing his temples.

**PEIN IS RIGHT! THIS IS SO FUCKED UP! I hope you liked this chapter, because the next might come out tomorrow if you review! Deidara, I told you you would like me by the end of the chapter.**

Deidara: *is staring at Aaron's breasts* *drools*

**Hey Aaron, can I borrow your frying pan?**

Aaron: Sure. *gives frying pan*

**Thanks. *hits the back of Deidara's head with frying pan***

Deidara: *starts falling over with goofy expression still on his face* *makes creaking noises as he falls*

**TIIIIIMBEEEER!**

Deidara: *crashes to the ground*

Aaron: Was he staring at my—

**Yes, yes he was.**

Aaron: *scowls* He's dead. *grabs Deidara by the leg* Come, Deidara, it's time for a playdate. *drags Deidara off to Tobi's room with a malicious smirk*

Deidara: *realizes what's happening* No, don't! I'm sorry! I WON'T DO IT AGAIN! *begins begging for mercy*

Aaron: Nope, too late. *opens Tobi's door and tosses him in* * closes Tobi's door and holds it closed*

Deidara: *pounds on door* Let me out!

Aaron: *locks Tobi's door* Sorry, but that's the price of perversity.

Tobi: Is Deidara-senpai here for a playdate? YAY!

Deidara: OH GOD, NO! AHHHHHHH!  
>*screaming and cries of 'TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!' are heard in the background*<p>

Aaron: Thanks for telling me.

**No prob. I _hate_ *is spat with venom* perverts. *turns back to you* Thanks for reading, and I'll come out with the next chapter soon.**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *disappears in a cloud of flowers* OKAY, WHO ADDED THE WUSSY EFFECT?**

**~Jinsokuna E)**


	34. I'm afraid so

**YAYZORS! IT'S TIME FOR CHAPTER 34! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! Disclaimers, Itachi, my good chap.**

Itachi: Hn.

**Just do them. I'll get you a ton of pocky if you do.**

Itachi: Can't...resist...pocky...must...have...

**I'll give you the pocky once you do the disclaimers.**

Itachi: Jinso does not own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any characters affiliated with them. He _does_ own my brother, his two best friends, Cryptus, the stranger, Evil Tobi, Apple-chan, Disclaimer-san, the elves, and Illyon. Oh, and HGOPAMLB.

**See, that wasn't so bad. *gives pocky***

Itachi: Thank you. *walks off to see if he won a ticket to PockyLand*

**Enjoy this chapter!**

**Rule 28: It's nice to get an upgrade. But not always if it makes Hidan do a wolf whistle.**

**Normal POV**

Aaron came out of his room after a good five hours with an emotionless face.

"I figured out a name." He announced. Everyone peeked their heads out to see what he had chosen.

"I chose the name Karasubi (Ka'ra-su-bee)." He told them.

"'Raven Beauty'?" Pein asked.

"It kinda does fit," Rich mused.

"Doesn't it, _Deidara_?" He asked jokingly, jabbing Deidara's ribs lightly with his elbow. (He was referring to the latest end author's note) Deidara blushed profusely and refused to make eye contact.

"Well, seeing as how I have raven hair, and I'm hot, I'd say that fits to a tee." Aaron explained, still showing no emotion where most would have smirked. Pein shrugged.

"So if I'm a girl now, does that mean I have to buy different clothes?" Aaron asked. Konan and May thought.

"I think you do." May told him. Aaron's eyes widened in fear.

"No! NOT SHOPPING!" He said, trying to hide behind Rich.

"SHOPPING, THE ONLY ACTIVITY I TRULY FEAR..." Aaron continued in a scared voice. Then he stood up, and pointed a finger up in the air.

"TO THE PANIC ROOM!" He zoomed down the hallway, leaving a very confused Akatsuki and a cloud of dust behind him. Konan and May went into "Seriousness" mode.

"NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, YOU'LL HAVE TO GO SHOPPING AT SOME POINT!" May shouted, her and Konan running down the hallway after him. They could hear faint cries of "Lemme go!" and "NEVER!" Finally, they saw May and Konan dragging a squirming Aaron behind them.

"I DON'T WANT TO!" He yelled like a five year old throwing a tantrum.

"Unless you want these pervs to keep staring at you and imagining they're screwing you, I suggest you come!" Konan said with a grunt. Aaron stopped squirming.

"AW HELL NO!" He shouted, running out the door at the thought of that.

"Well that was...eventful...(a quote from Eddsworld)" Pein said.

"So what should we do while they're gone?" Rich asked.

"Let's see...we got beer...and TV..." Deidara thought. Hidan grew a devious grin and said only one word:

"Porn."

**With Konan, May, and Aaron**

"So what are we getting?" He asked. They were walking into some kind of girl's clothing store in the land of hot water. All around the store had everything from graphic tees to fancy clothing.

"First we're going to get you some regular clothing." May told him.

They walked over to a random section and began looking at clothing. They found a shirt that said "I'm a chick and I'm proud of it", but Aaron didn't want that. So they kept looking. Then they found a tee that said "If you got problems, don't complain to me. I'm not your wife." Aaron actually wanted that, so they put it in a basket they had been carrying. Then they got him a few pairs of jeans, some long pants, some other miscellaneous clothes, and a skirt. He was never going to wear that...that _beastly_ thing. Hidan, Kisame, and Deidara would probably go full-on perv if he ever wore it. The trio paid for the clothing and walked out of the store. Aaron got excited like a child when he saw one of those stores that printed whatever you want on a tee. So he ran into the store with May and Konan following close behind.

"We could get a tee for everyone." He told them. May shrugged. It was fine with her. They got a black t-shirt with a nuclear explosion on the back and the text "ART IS A BANG!" on the front in red for Deidara. A blue t-shirt that said "Fish are friends, not food." on the front and had a picture of a shark hugging a goldfish on the back was for Kisame. A black one with the words "You're next for my collection" on the front in red made to look like blood with a picture of a creepy marionette on the back was going to Sasori. A silver one with black text that said "You are a heathen; get used to it." and on the back a picture of the Jashinist symbol was Hidan's. The next one was going to Itachi, and it was black with two red Sharingan eyes on the back, and only two words were on the front "Tsukiyomi, bitch." Then came Kakuzu's. It was green with black dollar signs all over the back and on the front said "Step away from the money." in black text. Tobi's was orange with black swirl designs all over it and said "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" on the front with a picture of a lollipop on the back. Konan got a blue one with white text that read "Origami rocks!" on the front and had an origami crane on the back. Zetsu got a green one that had a picture of meat on the back and on the front in red was "OMNOMNOM!" Rich got one that said "Got a problem? Get a life." which was blonde yellow and the text was green. On the back of his was the words "BLAH BLAH BLAH..." in graphic text. May got one that was lavender with blue text that read "I may seem timid, but I can KICK YOUR ASS."" And on the back was a picture of a stick figure girl punching someone. Pein got an orange shirt that said "Gingers _do _have souls." and had a picture of a ginger kid on the back. Finally, Aaron got a green tee with white text that said "Pain heals, chicks dig scars, but glory lasts forever." and had a picture of a trophies and awards on the back. They paid for all the shirts and headed back to the base. When they got inside, they saw all the guys watching some kind of porn on the giant TV.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Konan shouted. They stopped the porno with a startle and looked back, seeing their deaths in the near future.

"Um..." Pein kept stammering.

"I can expect Kisame, Deidara, and Hidan to do this, and maybe even Sasori, but YOU, PEIN? AND YOU, ITACHI?" She yelled. The guys then scrambled for their lives. The only guys who weren't there were Tobi, who was probably in his Madara persona, plotting something, Kakuzu, who was definitely counting his money, and Zetsu, who had been in his greenhouse. Konan handed Aaron his clothes and told him to change to see how it looked. He sighed, but went into a bathroom. When Hidan had tried to follow him in, the elf whacked him upside the head with his frying pan. Then when Hidan said, and I quote "You should be fuckin' learnin' how to make me some food with that thing, bitch, not fucking whackin' me with it", Aaron kicked him in the balls repeatedly until he was sure Hidan could never have children for making such a sexist remark. Then he went inside and got changed. While he was doing that, Hidan put his ear next to the door to see if he could hear anything. After a few minutes, the door was pushed open, slamming Hidan against the wall. The Jashinist was cross-eyed and had little stars floating around his head when he fell to the ground. Aaron just walked into the living room and asked,

"So how do I look?" Everyone turned their heads, and almost immediately, the guys started drooling. Aaron was wearing a black sleeveless kimono-style blouse, almost exactly like Tsunade's, which had white feathers depicted on it, a snow white obi holding it together, and wore a pair of grey shorts along with high-heeled open toed shinobi sandals.

"Hummina-hummina-hummina-hummina..." Pein kept stammering. Aaron grinned.

"I take that as a 'good'." Aaron said with a laugh. Hidan made a wolf whistle. Instantly, Aaron scowled at the Jashinist, and then K.O'd him with his frying pan of doom, laughing like crazy. Then he became serious. Serious Aaron is serious.

"I'll have to go to Konoha and tell Tsunade about this." He told them. Pein nodded.

"Go whenever you feel." He said. Aaron then got on a cloak with a hood to mask his face. With a wave, he disappeared in a flash of light.

**Konoha**

Tsunade was sitting at her desk, fuming over all the paperwork she was being given. All of a sudden, a cloaked stranger appeared in the middle of the room in a bright flash.

"Who are you?" She shouted.

"Your questions will be answered if you do something for me." The figure simply said.

"Why should I? You could be an enemy." Tsunade said with a glare.

"I am no enemy. I have been in this village for some time, and am also a shinobi of it." She said, gesturing to the hitai-ate around her neck. Tsunade looked surprised.

"What is your name?" She asked the mysterious person.

"My name is Karasubi, but you know me as someone else."

"I've never seen you before in my life." Tsunade informed her.

"Oh, but you have. The other people who have seen me many time before are Mitarashi Anko, Uchiha Sasuke, and

Himawari Arine." The woman said.

"How do you know who they are?" Tsunade demanded.

"You must bring them here."

"How do I know you won't try to kill me?"

"If you still think I will try to harm you, I will sit right where I am with a chakra suppression seal on me, if it makes you feel any better." The woman told her with a sigh. Tsunade calmed at the idea of that, so she ordered three ANBU into the room. One of them slapped a chakra suppression seal right on the cabalistic woman's forehead when she sat on the floor. Then Tsunade ordered the ANBU to go get Sasuke, Anko, and Arine. Within a few minutes, the three came rushing into the room along with the ANBU.

"Who're they?" Anko asked, jerking a thumb at the hooded figure sitting on the floor. Tsunade held up a finger, saying "One moment" as an ANBU took the seal off. The woman stood up, and bowed to each of them. They bowed back in a confused way.

"She said her name is Karasubi, but we know her by a different name." Tsunade told them. The three were still confused.

"She?" Sasuke asked. The woman pulled her hood back to reveal a flawless looking face. She had mid-length long black hair, and the same eyes as Aaron.

"Yes, she." Tsunade said after rolling her eyes.

"I've never seen her before in my life." Anko said. Arine and Sasuke agreed to that statement.

"We have actually met many times before." The woman told them. They just looked confused yet again.

"Then h-how come we don't know who you are?" Arine asked?

"You _do_ know me, but I've never appeared to you like this before." She said. Before anyone could question what she meant, a shadowy blob burst in through the ceiling.

"**Illyon!**" It hissed.

"**I shall destroy you for killing my master!**"

"Aaron's not here, dumbass!" Anko said angrily. The woman just stepped in front of them.

"Hey, what'd'ya think you're doing?" Anko asked.

"I can take it on easily." She told them.

"You must be nuts! That thing could kill you in a heartbeat." The woman smirked.

"Oh, trust me, it can't." She said. Then she held her right hand out. Fire spread all over it, turning it into a fervid claw that lit up the room.

"Aaron?" Anko asked. The woman simply disappeared in a streak of light, which moved towards the creature. Then it stopped right behind it. The blob suddenly froze up, and then literally fell to pieces. The woman went back to the four with a grin.

"You know who I am now?" She asked.

"Aaron, is that really you?" Anko asked. The woman's expression turned grim.

"I'm afraid so."

**BUM BUM BUM! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM SO EVIL! Itachi, do you think I should let Deidara out of Tobi's room?**

**Itachi: Hn.**

**That's a yes. *zooms to Tobi's room* Come on, Deidara, your playdate's over.**

**Deidara: *scowls as he walks out covered in bruises and torn clothing* I hate you.**

**No, you WUV me.**

**Deidara: I don't **_**WUV**_** you. I want to blow you up.**

**Are you sure you don't wuv me?**

**Deidara: YES! I HATE YOU!**

***starts crying***

**Konan: *is walking by* Bastard. You made him cry.**

**Deidara: I'm sorry!**

***runs away***

**Konan: You know you're gonna owe him something, right?**

**Deidara: *sigh* Yes. *turns to readers* We hope you like what has come out so far, and will continue to read this fanfic. Bye. *turns to Konan* Can you help me think of what to get him?**

**Konan: You're on your own. *walks off***

**Deidara: DAMMIT!**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *disappears in a flash of light* BADASS!**

**Also, the word fervid means fiery, blazing, burning, etc.**

**SEE YA!**


	35. Who made it?

**Hello, it's time for another chappie! THE DISCLAIMERS NEED A SACRIFICE! BWAAAAAAHH! Konan, can you do them?**

**Konan: Uh, sure?**

**WOW. You're the first person I haven't had to do anything to, threaten, or bribe to do the disclaimers.**

**Konan: They're all guys who're stubborn.**

**Yeah, I know. It's annoying. Can you do the disclaimers now?**

**Konan: Ok. Jinso does not own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any characters affiliated with them. He **_**does**_** own Aaron, May, Rich, Cryptus, the Stranger, the elves, Apple-chan, Disclaimer-san, HGOPAMLB, and Illyon, though.**

**Thank you very much. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!**

**(BTW, the rule will be introduced later in the chapter. ^^)**

**Normal POV**

"What-What happened to you?" Anko asked. Aaron shrugged.

"I don't know. I know I was a guy while I was sleeping, because I woke up a few times, and had a drink each time, and I didn't have these." He told them, gesturing to his breasts.

"Well, did anything happen after you woke up?" Tsunade asked him. Aaron shook his head.

"Not that I know of. I simply drank some of that new energy drink, Sunlight." He said. Tsunade looked she had just gotten an idea, and told them to wait. Then she walked out the door. Tsunade came back with a can of said drink in her hand.

"You mean this?" She asked him. He nodded. Tsunade popped the cap, (or whatever that thing is on top of drink cans) and took a sip.

"Tastes weird." She said, making a "blecch" face.

"Let me try it." Anko said. Tsunade handed her the can, and she drank some. Anko made the same face as Tsunade did, and commented,

"She's right. It tastes weird." Arine thought for a moment.

"L-Let me try as well." She told them. Anko handed Arine the can, and she took a sip as well. She gagged a little, and said the same thing as the two before her.

"Can I try?" Sasuke asked. Arine handed him the can, and he took a grateful sip.

"It doesn't taste weird to me. It kinda tastes good." He commented.

"How come only you guys l-liked it when we didn't?" Arine asked him. Aaron shrugged again.

"You know, I think Hidan and Konan both tried it as well, and Konan didn't like it, but Hidan did." Aaron said, holding his hand up to his chin.

"So only guys like it, but girls don't? Strange..." Anko mused. Suddenly, someone crashed into the room via the roof.

"'Sup, bitches?" A female voice called out. Dust clouded their view of the person who had said that. When the dust settled, it revealed someone who looked like a female and apparently busty Hidan.

"Hidan?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah, it's me, motherfucker. What the hell of it?" He asked.

"Um..." Aaron just pointed Hidan's chest. The immortal looked down, and let out a massive "SHIIIIIIT!" effectively scaring every bird nearby away.

"It fucking got me as well?" He asked in a freaked out voice. Sasuke started to glow.

"What's happ—" Sasuke couldn't finish because he was enveloped in a flash of light. When everyone could see, in his place stood a female version of himself.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Sasuke cried out. Normally, he wasn't one to curse, but this was a different matter.

"So the dr-drink is what's causing this?" Arine asked.

"I believe so." Anko said.

"So why haven't we changed gender?" Tsunade asked everyone.

"I don't know. It only seems to be guys." Aaron said. Then he made a "oh man, I have to warn them" face. He looked up, and began speaking to the Akatsuki.

'_Guys, whatever you do, don't drink the energy drinks!_' Aaron said through his ring.

'_Why?_' Rich asked.

'_Apparently, the drink turns guys into girls for some reason._'

'_That's very unusual._' Pein said.

'_We'__**re**__**hung**__ry._' Zetsu said.

'_Just go get some meat out of the fridge._' Aaron told him.

'_So anyways, how do you know that it does that?_'Pein asked him.

'_Hidan and Sasuke are both girls because they both drank some._'

'_WHAT?_' Came Itachi's cry, shocking everyone that he had showed so much emotion.

'_We're trying to figure out how to fix it._'

'_Be careful._' Pein told him. Aaron gave a mental confirmation, and focused back on the others in the room.

"What was that?" Anko asked him.

"The Akatsuki gave me and my friends each a ring to communicate with." He told them. Tsunade started scowling. Aaron groaned.

"I'm not a spy. Being the wielder of the Sword of Truths, I must always tell the truth unless I have to lie for a mission or anything along those lines." He told her. Tsunade's expression lightened.

"Since I wield the Sword of Truths, I can also sense when others are lying." He added. Tsunade nodded.

"While we try to figure this out, would you like to have lunch?" Anko asked him. As if on cue, Aaron's stomach growled.

"Lunch sounds good. How about dango?" He asked Anko with a sheepish smile.

"This may surprise you, but I was thinking of this new restaurant that opened a few days ago." She told him.

"_Anko_ not wanting dango? It's the-the end of the world!" Arine said. Aaron laughed.

"Well, I think the end of the world has passed already since I beat Cryptus." He said, then staring off into space with a thoughtful look in his eyes.

"Well?" Anko asked. He snapped out of it instantly.

"Let's go!" She told him. Then the two raced off into the village, laughing all the while.

**The Jade Leaf**

Anko and Aaron were sitting at a two person booth inside the restaurant.

"So what's this place called?" Aaron asked the purplette.

"It's called the Jade Leaf." She told him. He looked around for a bit, then said,

"Hm. Seems pretty nice." Anko looked to her side and noticed that one male patron across the floor from them was staring at them with a weird expression. She couldn't tell if it was glee, confusion, excitement, or constipation. She just acted like he wasn't there. Their waitress came a few seconds later.

"Hello, and welcome to the Jade Leaf. Would you like anything to drink?" She asked.

"I'd like some green tea, please." Anko told her.

"And I'll have water." Aaron said. The waitress nodded and smiled as she wrote them down.

"I'll be back with your drinks in just a minute." She told them. Then she walked off. Anko looked to her side again and noticed the weird man was still staring straight at them with that goofy but extremely creepy smile.

"What's up with that guy?" Anko asked Aaron in a whispered voice.

"What guy?" He asked back. She pointed to the creepy dude with the smile.

"Him? What about him?" Aaron asked her.

"He's kept that creepy smile on his face since we sat down."

"Well that sounds weird." He commented. The waitress came back.

"Here are your dri" She tripped over herself.

"—Iiiiiiinks!" The waitress nearly fell on the table as Aaron's water splashed on his shirt.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" The waitress apologized, giving a bow. Aaron dismissed it.

"It's alright. You don't have to apologize." He told her. She smiled, bowed, and then ran off to get him a towel. His eyes wandered around, looking at everyone. Most people hadn't noticed, but he saw the weird guy with the smile was staring at him with a lecherous smile, looking at his _assets_. A chorus of perverted giggling erupted from his mouth. A gigantic red tick mark appeared on Aaron's forehead, and he walked over to the man. Then he raised his hand, and slapped the guy. A red hand print was left on his cheek. Suddenly, a puff of smoke appeared around him. Then when it cleared, Jiraiya was in his place.

"JIRAIYA?" Aaron cried out. Said super perv looked confused.

"How do you know me?" Aaron raised his hand, turning it into a flaming claw.

"Aaron, that's you?" Jiraiya asked surprised.

"Yes, it's me." Aaron told him with a sigh. Jiraiya grew a proud and excited look.

"FINALLY! SOMEONE GIVE MY PERVERTED LEGACY TO!" He cried out, anime tears falling from his eyes.

"I'm not a pervert." Aaron said.

"Are you a _super_ pervert?" He asked with a grin.

"No, I'm not that either." Jiraiya's grin turned to a pout.

"Stupid energy drink...*mumble*...turning me into a girl...*mumble*...gonna maim whoever made it..." Aaron kept muttering. A mix of fear, happiness, curiosity, and perversity crossed Jiraiya's face in one second, but it looked like Aaron didn't see it.

"You're a girl?" Jiraiya asked. Aaron nodded, maybe knowing what was going to happen. Jiraiya's perverted expression came back, and he started giggling again. A bigger tick mark than before appeared on Aaron's head, and he reared his fist back.

**Rule 29:** "FALCOON PAAUUNCH!" Aaron shouted. His fist flew forward, surrounded by an aura. It slammed into Jiraiya's face, digging into it. Jiraiya suddenly went flying out the wall. They were on the second floor of the restaurant, which was three stories tall. He flew into the air and landed on the ground. Aaron held his fist up, and popped his knuckles.

"Man, I have got to get some gloves like the ones Sakura has." He said. Then he turned around.

"Anyone _else_ wanna perv out?" He asked the other people in the restaurant. Everyone shook their heads.

"Anko, come with me." He said. Anko nodded and the two leaped out the massive hole in the wall. On the ground, in a crater, lay Jiraiya on the ground unconscious. Five teeth were near his head and he had a huge black eye. Aaron whipped out a blank piece of paper and began writing on it. Then he stuck it on Jiraiya's back, and reared his leg.

"What are you doing?" Anko asked.

"If I aim this right, he should land in Tsunade's office." He told her.

"But why?"

"So she knows he was perving." He told her simply. She made an "Ah" face. He shot his leg forward, sending Jiraiya flying.

**Tsunade's Office**

She was just sitting at her desk, doing that _accursed_ paperwork, when a large object crashed into the room.

"WHAT THE HECK?" Tsunade cried out. Shizune came running in the room.

"Tsunade-sama, what's wrong?" Then she spied the object on the floor.

"Is that Jiraiya?" She asked.

"I-I think so..." Tsunade told her. She looked at him. He had glass shards all over him, many bleeding cuts on his face, some of his teeth were missing, and he had a black eye.

"What happened to him?" Shizune asked. Tsunade got up and walked over to him. There she saw a note stuck to his back. She picked it up.

"A note?" Shizune asked. It read:

"_Dear Tsunade,_

_When Anko and I went out for lunch at the Jade Leaf, Jiraiya was henged as a man who kept staring at me and Anko lecherously. When my water I ordered spilled on me, he began to giggle in his perverted way. So I got up and slapped him. His henge fell, and Anko and I were both shocked. So I falcon punched_ _him, and he was knocked unconscious. I sent him here with this note via a kick. If you wish to know what a falcon punch__ is I will tell you. Another thing: If you wish to know the secret to defeating paperwork, you'll give him a severe punishment. I am at my house with Anko, changing into new clothes. Send someone for me if you need anything at all._

_Truly Yours,_

_Aaron"_

Tsunade's eyes widened.

"What did the note say, Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked her.

"He knows the secret to defeating my greatest foe..." She said.

"What? Who's your greatest foe?" Shizune asked. Tsunade shook her head, snapping out of it.

"You already know who, or I should say 'what' my greatest foe is. The note said that Jiraiya was peeping on him and Anko, and when water spilled on him, Jiraiya acted like he usually does when he sees a wet lady." She told her assistant.

"A lady? Why are you calling Aaron a lady?" Shizune asked confusedly. Tsunade sighed.

"Because of some damned weird energy drink, the savior of the world is now a woman." She told her. Shizune's eyes widened.

"What—"

"So are Sasuke Uchiha and the Akatsuki member Hidan."

"How—"

"The energy drink somehow makes guys turn into girls. But it doesn't work on anyone who is female."

"Why—"

"We don't know why someone would make something like that, but I might have a clue." Shizune was out of questions. Tsunade had answered them all without even hearing more than one word.

"Go get him. We need him here for an important meeting."

"Hai, Tsunade-sama." Shizune said, quickly going out the door.

'_Dear Lord, what kind of person would make such a thing as that drink?_' Tsunade questioned in her mind. Somehow, Kami heard her.

"It's—"

**CLIFFHANGER! Aw, and just as you were about to find out who made the energy drink! Oh well, I **_**guess**_** you'll have to read the next chapter to find out. MUAHAHA! So long and good night, world!**

**~Jinso**


	36. I'm Impressed

**Halloooo again! I LIKE SHAM-POO. It is time for disclaimers; BRING IN THE FOOL-er-GUEST!**

**Hidan: *gets shoved into the room* *door locks behind him* What the fuck am I doing here, you dipshit?**

**You are doing disclaimers, my friend.**

**Hidan: THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY I WILL, BITCH!**

**Hidan...The Tobi is loaded...**

**Hidan: WHAT? *starts shaking with fear***

**I've got him aimed on you...**

**Hidan: You...You wouldn't...**

**I gave him 2_50_ dollars of candy this time.**

**Hidan: How can you spend so much?**

**Money's no object. *flashes five 200 dollar bills* I get it from being an author.**

**Hidan: *jaw drops to floor* *points finger while saying*: FUCK YOU!**

**Bad choice of words. *opens a cage which had Tobi in it* LET SLIP THE DOGS OF WAR! MUAHAHA!**

**Hidan: NOOOOOO! *gets super ultra glomped by Tobi***

**Tobi: HIDAN! TOBI HAD CANDY! TOBI LIKES CANDY, HIDAN! DO YOU LIKE CANDY? TOBI ****LOVES**** CANDY! WILL HIDAN BUY TOBI SOME CANDY? :D**

**Hidan: GET THE FUCK OFF ME, ASSNUGGET!**

**Wow, Hidan, I didn't know you were **_**gay**_**. Do you and Kakuzu like spending time **_**alone**_** together?**

**Hidan: Shut the fuck up, shithead!**

**Wow, **_**more**_** dirty words from the bad man's mouth. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you use those around Kakuzu when you're alone.**

**Hidan: SHUT THE MOTHERFUCK UP, YOU BEEEEEP BEEEP BEEP BEEEPITY BEEEPIN' BEEEP SON OF A BEEEP BEEPITY BEEP BEEEEP!**

**Again, wow. Does Kakuzu like hearing those words come out of your mouth?**

**Hidan: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR FUCKED UP SHITTY HEAD?**

**Relax, I'm just joking.**

**Hidan:...Never mind...**

**Or **_**am**_** I?**

**Hidan:...**

_**Relax**_**, I am.**

**Hidan: Phew.**

**Enjoy the chapter folks!**

**By the way:**

**Kibi Tosame: I actually did it to make people want to read more, **_**and**_** I just **_**love**_** screwing with people. Not trying to piss you off, guys.**

**Although, in **_**this**_** chapter, we do find out who made the energy drinks! BUM BUM BUM!**

**READ ON!**

**Rule 30: Itachi is badass. Question it, and you will be subjected to the most indescribable torture. And it will involve **_**Tobi**_**.**

**Normal POV**

Aaron burst into the room through the ceiling in a spectacular and magnificent display of lights and noises.

"You rang?" He asked.

"Yes, I did. I'm trying to figure out why the drink you had would turn guys into girls, and who would make such a thing." Tsunade told him.

"So why call me?" He asked.

"You were the first person to get turned into an apparently busty girl, so you might be able to think of something." She said.

"You got anything I can build on?" Tsunade nodded.

"I think it might have to do with who created it. It was someone here in Konoha, I know that. Who can you think of that would do such a thing?" She asked the elf. The question seemed to have struck him in a way he couldn't explain, but he just thought. His eyes widened, and fire raged inside his normally blue and green eyes.

"I'm gonna kill him..." Aaron muttered.

"Kill who?" Tsunade asked.

"No... killing's too good for him...Yeah...the most painful way to torture him..." Aaron kept saying with an evil glare, and a wicked smile.

"Aaron? Are you alright?" Tsunade asked worriedly, questioning his sanity a little.

"I'm gonna take his d**k, rip it off, and shove it _so_ hard where the sun don't shine, just to give him a feeling of how rape is..." Aaron snarled. Tsunade grew a frightened look.

"Aaron? Anooooooo." She asked timidly. He blinked a couple of times and looked at her.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"Who were you talking about?"

"What do you mean talking about? I wasn't speaking." He said.

"You were talking doing some...unmentionable things to someone. Who were you talking about?"

"Oh, you mean who I thought of?" He asked. Tsunade shrugged.

"Uh, sure."

"I was thinking of your teammate." He said blandly.

"That figures." Tsunade commented with a roll of her eyes.

"So anyways, what is a 'falcon punch©'?" Tsunade asked him.

"Watch." He ordered. He pulled out a brick from the wall of the restaurant Jiraiya had plowed through the wall of, and made it float in the air.

"FALCOON PAAAUUUNCH!" He shouted. His fist flew forward and ignited. Then it hit the brick, causing it so shatter. Aaron held his fist and popped his knuckles again.

"Yep, I have got to get some gloves like Sakura has." He said. Then he glared at Jiraiya on the floor, remembering what had happened earlier. As if he was supposed to, Jiraiya woke up from his position on the floor.

"Whe-Where am I?" He asked. Then he saw Aaron glaring at him.

"Oh shit."

"YOU CREATED THAT FUCKIN' ENERGY DRINK, YOU BASTARD!" Aaron screamed at him. Then he jumped on the old sage and began beating the crap out of him.

**Akatsuki POV**

They were all just sitting in the living room, waiting.

"I wonder when Aaron's gonna get back." Rich mused. Suddenly, they heard a loud noise coming from outside. They all ran to see what it was. They saw a fallen woman, holding an egg-shaped object in her hands. The object was white, with black veins sprawled all over it, and was glowing faintly. This was no ordinary woman, though. She had long ears, just like Aaron.

"It's an elf..." Pein said.

"And she's hurt!" May cried out. She and Rich ran to the woman hurriedly. The woman looked up slowly, and gasped at seeing them.

"You are friends of the king. You have his essence inside you..." She said hoarsely.

"Yeah, we are and we do. You're going to be alright!" May said, preparing to heal the woman. But she stopped her.

"Don't." The woman said.

"You'll die if I don't!" May told her. The woman grew a weak and sad smile.

"It is my fate." She held up the egg-like object with shaking hands.

"Please. See that this gets to the king." She told them.

"Are you sure?" She asked her. The woman smiled and nodded.

"I am. This is worthy of the king." She told them. May took the object out of her hands. It was a stone, maybe? The stone was glossy and smooth, like a perfectly cut gem. It pulsed and felt warm, as thought it was alive. Then she became worried.

"Now go quickly. He is almost upo—" She let out a loud wheeze as an arrow made of bones went through her heart, killing her instantly. The bushes rustled, and out came a man. He was about 5'7, with mahogany hair, deep black eyes, and normally colored skin like that of a white man.

"Hand it over, woman." The unknown man hissed.

"Who are you, and why do you want this?" May asked.

"You do not need to know who I am, and _that_" His eyes drifted to the object and back to May.

"Is something a common _wench_ is not _worthy_ of." He spat. May was shocked, but looked about ready to go Armageddon on his ass.

"You're calling me a WENCH?" May asked angrily. The man flinched at her volume.

"What's the matter? Afraid a WENCH is gonna kick your ass?" May wasn't usually like this, but when someone insulted her deeply, she was hell in a human form. The man bristled, and a spear made of bones appeared in his hand.

**Konoha**

Aaron was almost done beating up Jiraiya, who was now bruised and unconscious, but stopped and perked his head up.

"My friends need me. I'll be right back." He was about to teleport in a flash of light when he stopped.

"You know, I think I've figured out this whole drink thing." He said.

"Really?"

"Yeah. When I woke up, I was a girl, and kept feeling something pulling at my chakra. So maybe if I pump an overload of it, the transformation will stop." Aaron told Tsunade.

"That could work." Tsunade mused.

"Try it." She then ordered. Aaron closed his eyes, and sent out a massive burst of chakra. He was enveloped in a glow, and when it went away, he was finally back to normal.

"Alright! No more girly stuff!" He said, pumping his fist. Then he focused.

"Oh, right, my friends." He said. He gave a two-finger salute to Tsunade.

"By the way, tell Sasuke and Hidan how to undo the thing. If you want to find Hidan, follow the trail of blood and remains." Aaron instructed. She was about to ask what he meant when he disappeared in a flash of light.

**Outside the Akatsuki Base**

"For insulting a mighty god, YOU SHALL DIE!" The man shouted. He threw the spear. Everyone watched in fear as it flew towards May's heart. They all cringed, waiting for her innards to spill out on the ground. But they didn't hear a cry of pain, or anything for that matter. They opened their eyes, and there stood Aaron, holding the spear mid-shaft. He tightened his grip, and the spear broke.

"Cragos..." Aaron began.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked the supposed "god".

"Illyon? I-I was just smiting this _heathen_ for insulting a god."

"Aaron? What are you doing here?" May asked.

"I sensed you guys were in trouble." He said, looking at them. Then he turned back to the man who was now known as Cragos.

"You should not have tried to hurt them. They are allies, and will be treated as such." Aaron told him sternly.

"So sorry, my lord. I shall go." Cragos said, having been humbled by Aaron. Then he disappeared in a couple of flames, which quickly dispersed. Aaron then turned around to them.

"Who was that?" Rich asked. Aaron sighed.

"That was Cragos, the elven god of fire, bones, and pride. He always gets so annoying when someone insults him after he insults them." He told them, pinching the bridge of his nose while looking down and muttering with his eyes closed. Then he looked up and opened them. His eyes widened when he saw what May was holding.

"Who gave you that?" He asked. May pointed to the woman who had died, and he nodded sadly when he looked at her.

"He slew one of my own people. He will pay for that." Aaron told them. May held it out to give it to him, but he shook his head.

"You can have it." He told her. She raised an eyebrow.

"That object is the egg of some kind of creature. I can sense that it has already taken a liking to you as a mother figure. You should keep it." Aaron explained. She nodded and smiled. Then she hugged it.

"It feels warm and comforting..." She said. He smiled.

"That's your motherly instincts." He told her.

"How about you fuckin' make us some shitty breakfast out of that, bitch?" Hidan asked, coming out of the bushes. May bristled and then slapped the Jashinist, making him fall to the ground.

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME THAT WAY!" She shouted.

"And if you want 'shitty' breakfast, I suggest you cook it yourself!" May added, turning away from the Jashinist.

"You're both back to normal?" Pein asked.

"Fuck yeah! Elf bastard here figured out how to counter-act that dumb-ass shit!" Hidan said, getting up from the ground and rubbing his cheek.

"I did do that, though I prefer not to be called an 'elf bastard'." Aaron told them with a nod. They all looked surprised.

"Itachi, I need you to come back to Konoha with me. I want to visit Sasuke and I think he'll want to see you." He told the other Uchiha. Itachi nodded, and they both disappeared in separate flashes of light.

**Konoha**

They burst into Tsunade's office instantly, startling the two Sannin that were in there.

"Now _that_ is a form of badassness you need to learn, Itachi-deshi (apprentice)." Aaron commented to his half-brother. The white haired Sannin snorted.

"You think he's badass?" Jiraiya asked Aaron.

"Oh, he is." Aaron told him.

"He doesn't look so badass." Aaron scowled.

"ITACHI FANGIRLS, ATTACK!" He shouted, pointing a finger at Jiraiya. About 5,000,000 Itachi fangirls came running in the room and began collectively beating the shit out of Jiraiya. When they were done, Aaron trapped them all in a genjutsu and teleported them away.

"Now, do you _still_ think he 's not badass?" Jiraiya weakly raised a finger, and said,

"Y-Yes..." hoarsely. Itachi walked over to him and lifted his head up, trapping him in a genjutsu.

**Inside the Genjutsu**

Jiraiya was a black piece of space. He walked around.

"Hello?" He called out.

"Do you want to play with Tobi?" Tobi's voice called out in the second person. (Second person POV is when you

speak in third person, but refer to yourself in that same way).

"Um, ooooook?" Jiraiya said.

"YAY!" Multiple voices yelled out. Jiraiya was then swarmed by so many Tobis that Deidara would puke. That 's _definitely_ saying something. He screamed as too many shouts of "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" swarmed his voice.

**Outside Aaron's Genjutsu of Doom (MUAHAHA! :D)**

Jiraiya began screaming and convulsing.

"What did you do to him?" Tsunade cried out.

"Relax, I didn't assault his mind. That was my 'Million Tobis of Doom' Genjutsu." Itachi said with a wave of his hand.

"Then what did you do?" Tsunade asked.

"Let's just say, he'll scream like a little girl whenever he sees Tobi." He told her.

"Tobi?" She asked. He henged himself to look exactly like Tobi. She nodded. Then he changed back to normal.

"I'm going to search his mind for something." Aaron told her, reaching his hand out without warning. It connected with Jiraiya's forehead, and he closed his eyes. Then he opened them in shock.

"I know who created the energy drink." He said abruptly.

"What?"

"I know who did it." He told her.

"Who?"

"Follow me." Aaron ordered. They both ran across the village and arrived at the home of the perpetrator. Aaron kicked the door in.

"LISTEN UP! I KNOW YOU MADE THAT ENERGY DRINK, SO COME ON OUT!" He shouted. A familiar person walked almost out of the shadows, clapping their hands.

"Bravo...I'm impressed that you figured it out so quickly."

"No...How could it be you?" Tsunade asked in a shocked voice. The person walked out completely, revealing themselves. It was—

**BUM BUM BUM, YET AGAIN! I know, you all hate me right now for not telling you and lying about learning who it was. But, I have a contest for you! I want you all to guess in the comments who you think did it. If you can figure it out, I'll make a songfic in your honor, with your choice of song, of course. THAT'S RIGHT! Your very own one-chapter songfic! So guess hard and guess good! You only get one guess to figure it out, so think about it!**

**Last thing: I used to have a songfic about Aaron and Cryptus' friendship, called The Gap Between Us. But after reading the comment for it, I learned that songfics aren't allowed because of copyrighted lyrics and such, yet I read a songfic involving a song from Three Day's Grace that had the lyrics of it, but hadn't been removed. Oh well. :( So I have removed the songfic due to the goddamn rules, but if you want to read it, I have posted it on my profile. So you can read it if you want. That is all. Actually, now I decided to take it off of my profile due to copyright laws and all that shit, so sorry.**

**Until next time,**

**Ja Ne! *disappears in the form of a falcon punch which knocks you out* ARRRRRIIIIBA!**


	37. Enter: Endor the fledgling!

**HALLOOO AGOON! I shall do the disclaimers this time because it's "that time" again for Konan, and she's yelling at everyone else.**

**Konan: SHUT UP!**

**Ok, jeez, just let me do the disclaimers and I will.**

**Konan:...You're lucky you're pretty...**

**What the **_**fuck**_**? **_**Any**_**ways, I do not own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any character affiliated with them. (MEGA SADNESS X( ) I **_**do**_** own the three main characters, Cryptus, the Stranger, Evil Tobi, Disclaimer-san, Apple-chan, the elves, Illyon, Cragos, HGOPAMLB, and any elven god in the story. I **_**also**_** own a character that will come soon in this chapter.**

**Last thing: None of you were able to guess the character right. I'm sorry. But then again, this is a character nobody would expect.**

**...**

**Would'ya like to find out?**

**WELL HERE YA GO!**

**...**

**Rule 31: EXORCISM!**

**Normal POV**

It was Sakura. (BET'CHA WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT! XD)

"But how? And why?" Tsunade asked.

"I was tired of all the sexist remarks people have been making, and decided to teach them a lesson." She said with an evil laugh.

"You're a strong person. _Seriously_, why?" Aaron asked with a bored tone.

"You wish for the truth? Very well." Sakura began.

"I wanted to cause havoc in this _puny_ world. It disgusts me to no end how there is always praise for the good, but never for the dark! THEY ALL MUST PAY!" She hissed, speaking in tongues and ancient languages, cursing all the while. Aaron slapped her and placed his hand on her forehead. Then he pulled his hand away, and a spirit came out of her and wailed as it was brought out of existence with a bolt of light.

"There we go. All better." He said with a smile.

"What. THE HELL WAS THAT?" Tsunade screamed.

"An exorcism." He told her. Sakura swayed like she was dizzy.

"What-What happened?" She asked woozily.

"If I told you, you'd have nightmares." Aaron told her. Her eyes widened, but she nodded.

"Tsunade-shishou, what are you doing here?" She asked innocently. (The story takes place when the Akatsuki had just begun collecting Tailed Beasts)

"I came with Aaron to find out something important, but I can't tell you." She said sadly.

"Well, I hope you both have a good day." Sakura finished with a bow. They both left.

"I need to get back to my friends. Something important came up, and I need to be with them." Aaron said when they were at the Hokage Tower.

"Go ahead." Tsunade said with a nod. Aaron gave a regular salute and disappeared in a flash of light.

**Akatsuki Base**

He reincorporated in the middle of the living room, near the couch.

"Hey everyone." He said with a lazy wave. Rich and May waved back.

"Is the egg alright?" May held it up proudly. Somehow, it slipped, and hit the floor with a metallic sound. She flinched, expecting it to break apart.

"Alright! Now I can fuckin' get some shitty breakfast!" Hidan said. Kakuzu whacked his partner upside the head. Suddenly, May's shoulder began to glow. Everyone crowded around her to see what was going on.

"Well, isn't _this_ interesting?" Aaron asked after inspecting her shoulder.

"What?" Pein asked.

"She has the mark of the Dragon Warriors."

"What are the 'Dragon Warriors'?" Konan asked.

"Tobi thinks the Dragon Warriors sound EPIC!" The masked shinobi said with a fist pump.

"You'll all see soon enough." As if some force had willed it to, the egg glowed as well. In a blinding flash of light, a sound like a harp playing came out of nowhere. When everyone could see, there, on the floor, lay a sleeping baby dragon, letting out a near faint snore that made May and Konan get stars in their eyes. They prepared to glomp it, but Aaron stopped them.

"No one touch it. It's very weak, seeing as how it was just born." They semi-pouted, but went with his wishes.

"Is that...a dragon?" Rich asked. Aaron nodded.

"One of the last. And a fledgling, too."

"What's a fucking fledgling?" Hidan asked him.

"A fledgling is a creature of a baby or child's age." Aaron answered.

"So it's one of the last?" May asked. (hey, that almost rhymes...)

"Dragons, in the last century or so, have shut themselves off from mankind. They became virtual hermits, never communicating with the world beyond their hiding places. People hunted them for fame and glory, and thus they began to die off in great numbers. This little guy is one of the last living dragons. Only about 20 remain alive." He explained.

"Wow..."

"I can tell that even though dragons remain hiding, he will become a great warrior." Aaron added.

"How can you tell that it's a he?" Rich asked.

"Male and female dragons have a distinct difference in their anatomies. And I do NOT mean guy parts and girl parts!" He told them, getting those thoughts out of their minds.

"Male dragons have a different shape to their wings. Theirs have more of a jet-wing shape than the females."

"So how do you know he'll become a great warrior?" Pein asked.

"I am not just the god of the sun. I'm also the god of medicine and prophecies, like the Greek god Apollo, and also purity." Aaron answered. Then he turned to Kakuzu.

"Kakuzu, if you even THINK about selling him on the black market, I'm going to burn every single piece of money you're ever going to get." He threatened. Kakuzu held up his hands in defeat. Aaron nodded.

"Now we're going to have to take care of him until he is old enough to fight. Even then, he will remain loyal to May."

"Why the bitch?" Hidan asked in an outraged voice. May kicked him in the balls.

"He'll remain loyal to her because she bears the mark of the Dragon Warriors."

"Sooooo what is that again?" Rich asked him.

"The Dragon Warriors are a group of people who have gained the trust of dragons. They are an ancient order of fighters that have dragons by their side. When a warrior receives an egg, a mark appears on their shoulder. It signifies that they are the allies of the dragons. Each of them has a loyal bond with their dragon, and it never breaks. They can use different magicks in battle, and speak the language of dragons. Give it a try, May." Aaron said. She gulped, and began to speak Draconian. (anyone recognize this? XD)

"_Ie ferengun weirvdia._" She spoke with a raspy voice.

"_Varandia gudril. Yu'rantho alredro dorgine venrel welish'ya._" Aaron said back.

"_Dirackna Ie jushrend sperekna Draconiashca?_" May asked.

"Yes, yes you did. You can speak on and off." Aaron said in a normal voice. May swallowed again, and she could speak normally.

"That was odd." She commented.

"So what'd you fucking say, ya dipshits?" Hidan asked. May bitchslapped him once more.

"This was our conversation:

'I feel weird.'

'Very good. You're already doing very well.'

'Did I just speak Draconian?'" Aaron told them.

"Wait, you said the word 'very' twice in two sentences, but the word both times was different." Rich told him.

"Which brings me to a couple of facts about Draconian. First, only a special few can speak it. Second, the words change each time you say them except for the pronoun 'I'. This prevents enemies from deciphering text easily. And finally, if you just look at the words people say, you can figure it out by how they're spelled." He said. Everyone, one-by-one, made an understanding face. Aaron's eyes drifted to the dragon.

"We have to name him. May has the honors." He said. May looked ecstatic at getting to chose its name. So she assumed a thinking pose, stroking an imaginary beard. After a few moments of silence, she cried out,

"I got it!"

"What'd you think of?" Rich asked. She did an eye-smile, and said,

"Endor!"

"Endor?" Rich asked her.

"Why Endor?"

"He's so cute, and it reminds me of the furry little Ewoks from Star Wars that live on _Endor_!" She chirped.

"Then Endor it is." Aaron said. As if cued by a director of a film, Endor stirred at his name. Then he got up, making everyone (even Pein) go "Awww!" at his cuteness as he walked over to May. Then he nudged her leg with his tiny head, and she picked him up. The little dragon looked so cute. His scales were black, but they had a hidden green glint when light shined on them. A thin, translucent membrane lay in between the shafts of his small wings, paling in the light. Finally, his eyes were a royal blue, and he looked as innocent as a child. She hugged him, but not too tightly, and he rubbed his head against hers, making a small purring noise all the while. As Aaron watched him, Endor's innocence reminded him of Cryptus; how pure he had been before _it_ happened. So he lowered his head, hiding his eyes from the others. Tears ghosted one by one down his tan face, hitting the floor with a soft plink. Rich noticed, and asked,

"You alright?" Aaron smiled sadly.

"I just...need some time alone..." Rich nodded.

"Take all you need." Aaron walked outside of the base, and ran into the forest. When he was panting from running around and wailing on trees enough to dirty his knuckles with his own blood, he sat down at the trunk of a tall oak. Then he rested his head against the solid and supporting wood.

"Why?" He asked.

"Why did it have to happen like this?"

**Cryptus' Memorial**

Three guards were standing at Cryptus tomb per request of Tsunade and Aaron to keep civilians from throwing stones and rubble. A cloaked person seemed to melt out of the shadows.

"Who are you? What're you doing here?" One of them asked, hefting an iron spear about 1.5 times his size.

"Me? I'm just here to pick up a gift..." The person said.

"And who _are_ you?" Another guard asked. This one wielded a spiked club made of steel.

"I'm just a regular old stranger..." They told the guards. The three each gained a puzzled look, and tried to think about what the person meant. But that was their mistake. The figure raised their hand. The one with the iron spear was lifted into the air by a shadowy tendril which clutched his neck with a steely grip. The tendril closed tighter and tighter around his neck until...

*SPLAT!*

His neck was crushed to a degree never seen before, blood splattering all over the ground. The other two looked at the cloaked stranger in fear. Next, the one with the club was being constricted by a tendril, which tightened around him like a cobra. It finally crushed every organ in his body, and so much blood rushed out that his stomach burst open, a sea of blood pouring out. The last standing, who had a metal sword and wore a bronze skullcap, had a tentacle pry his mouth open, and rush inside, choking him. Not before long, the guard stopped breathing, and the tendril removed itself. He slumped on the ground, blood streaming from the corner of his mouth and onto the hard earth. The stranger walked inside Cryptus' tomb and ripped the coffin' lid right off. Then he held up the body with one hand. It you had been inside the tomb, and he had not noticed you, you would have seen the face of an aged man, with red eyes which were clouded with insanity, and a wicked smile which could make the devil run in fear.

"It'll take me a month to prepare..." His grin grew wider and madder.

"But it'll be worth it when my son receives his 'present'..." He let out a maniacal laugh, and vanished into the shadows.

**BUM...BUM...****BUUUUUUUM****! What will happen next? Find out next time on**

**All: ALL THE BIRDS OF AKATSUKI!**

**~Jinso**


	38. Armageddon x 2!

**It is time for ARMAGEDDON!**

**Tobi: NUUUUU! THE WORLD IS ENDING! WHYYYYYY?**

**Tobi, calm down. Everything's gonna be fine.**

**Tobi:...Thank you, Jinso-senpai.**

**You all know the deal about the disclaimers and all that chiz, so here's the story!**

**Rule 32: Never insult a touchy subject.**

**Normal POV**

**One Month Later**

Endor had now grown to the size of an adult dog, and could fluently speak about a paragraph in wordlength at a time. As the days went by, Aaron was still saddened by his friend's death, and would probably never be the same. But on the same day he stopped worrying, Armageddon was about, hiding in the shadows; waiting for the right moment. So at midday's time, the sky turned black as night, and lightning flew about.

"_**YOU ALL THOUGHT IT WAS OVER; THAT THE WORLD WAS SAFE ONCE MORE! WELL HERE I AM, AND I TELL YOU NOW, THE WORLD IS NOT SAFE! I SHALL CONSUME IT FOREVER, AND YOU ALL SHALL BE NO MORE!**_" A deadly, hissing voice rang out all over. Everyone ran out of their homes, their schools, their workplaces, and saw the giant beast which lay at the center of the surface of the world. They all thought Cryptus had returned, and that they were all doomed. But Aaron knew better. It was the person he despised most, the man who started it all, and caused his friend's doom: The Stranger. As they ran outside of the base, Hidan cried out,

"I THOUGHT WE WERE FUCKING DONE WITH THIS COCK-SUCKING BULLSHIT!" Aaron just looked towards the giant dragon which stood above all else.

"You are all to stay back." He ordered.

"WHAT?" Anko's voice cried out. She came out of the bushes and ran up to him. Anko had traveled to Tanigakure to see him.

"ARE YOU INSANE?"

"I am not insane. But I give no kindness towards those who use my friends as simple tools; as if they never really mattered." He told her.

"I'm _not_ letting you go alone." She told him sternly. He growled.

"If any of you follow me, and we survive this, I swear I will come into your bedroom at night, lock the door, and peel you like a potato until you bleed to death! Do you hear me?" He asked them. Everyone took an instinctive step back. He had never spoken to his friends like that before. Tears appeared in Anko's eyes.

"I care more about your safety than I do _my own life_. If any of you were to ever get hurt, I would rather kill myself than live with the burden of knowing it was my fault." He told them. They all were shocked. He hadn't meant it for selfish reasons. He meant to protect them. He turned to Endor. The dragon had grown from the size of a human baby to the size of an adult dog. He was black, but his scales, which were as hard as adamantium, had a green glow to them when in the light. His wings had a light membrane, which looked pale in the sunlight, shining through the translucent skin.

"Endor, if I do not live, I want you to take care of May." He told the dragon. Endor nodded.

"I will take care of her as if she were my own kin." He told Aaron. Endor had a somewhat gruff voice that yet calmed you down. Aaron began to walk up the cliff. A huge plume of flames, similar to a volcanic eruption, burst into the sky, lighting it up like the sun. Ashes fluttered down like snowflakes on the battleground. When Aaron arrived at the top of the cliff, he could only describe the scene as Armageddon. Ashen bodies littered the ground. Cryptus' memorial was in shambles. Purple lightning thundered about in the raven sky.

"STRANGER!" He shouted. The massive dragon turned toward him.

"_**AH, YOU'RE FINALLY HERE. I WAS GETTING TIRED OF CRUSHING PUNY WEAKLINGS.**_" The Stranger said.

"I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" Aaron told him.

"_**REALLY? WHO MIGHT I BE?**_" The Stranger asked him.

"Someone who should have died long ago; someone I hate with my very being...I will kill you, and your blood shall litter the ground as a sign of victory," The next word he pronounced was spat with massive venom.

"_Father_." The Stranger began shrinking. He changed into the form of Cryptus.

"So, you figured out who I am..." Bracxious mused.

"Yes, I have. But unlike Cryptus' death, this is one I will enjoy..." Aaron said, licking his lips.

"Well, then, you might be able to provide some _mediocre entertainment_ for me." Bracxious said.

"You know, it's quite easy; planning one's death. You just have to have the right tool." He told Aaron, gesturing to the body he had merged with. Tears streamed down Aaron's face.

"HE IS NOT A TOOL! HE IS A FRIEND; A FRIEND WHO WAS MISGUIDED BY A _PIECE OF SHIT_ LIKE YOU!" He shouted at Bracxious. Aaron wiped up his tears.

"This is a one-on-one fight. It's only you and me. No one else gets hurt." Aaron told him.

"Fair enough. There comes a time in every boy's life when he has to stand up to his father. I suppose this is yours." Bracxious changed back into a dragon. Then he grinned.

"But will you succeed...Or fail?" Aaron held out his palms. A big orb of light appeared in front of him. Then he spun his arms in slicing motions, adding waves of light to the ball. Then he jumped, and pushed it with his feet. It flew toward Bracxious, but he let out a massive waves of flames that engulfed it. Aaron then charged him, flying through the air. He grabbed the Sword of Truths off of his back and swung it, sending a wave of light. Bracxious just swiped his claw at it, making it dissipate. Then he knocked Aaron back with a slash, and he landed back on the cliff. Bracxious roared, and reared his front legs. Then he slammed them down, causing the earth in between the cliff Aaron was standing on and the area where Bracxious was to shatter and crumble.

"So, an aerial fight, huh? Figures since you wish to have the advantage." Aaron commented.

"_**ALWAYS.**_" Bracxious simply told him.

"Just so you know, I'm going to wipe you from existence." Aaron said.

"_**I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY.**_" Bracxious said with a laugh. Aaron smirked.

"Gladly, _father_." He held his hands out, and floated up into the air. An aura of golden light began surrounding him. It stretched and molded, taking the form of a gigantic warrior.

"AVATAR OF HOLY LIGHTS!" Aaron cried out, his head to the sky. Then he lowered it, and grinned at his father.

"_**AH, SO YOU SHARE MY LOVE OF THE FIGHT TOO? THEN THIS SHOULD BE MOST EXCITING.**_" Bracxious said. Aaron raised him arm, his smirk perpetually embedded into his face, and so the arm of his avatar moved in the same motion as well. A massive ball of light appeared at the avatar's palm, and shot out in a magnificent laser. Bracxious simply phased in and out of existence, letting the beam go straight through his intangible scales..

"_**IT LOOKS AS THOUGH YOUR FIGHTING SKILLS ARE NOT NEAR GOOD ENOUGH TO PROVIDE ANY ENTERTAINMENT. PITY. I LOOKED FORWARD TO A GOOD MATCH.**_" He said.

"Oh, that's not even a sixtieth of what I can do." Aaron told him. His avatar reached behind itself, and drew forth a massive blade.

"_**FOOL! NO BLADE CAN STAND AGAINST MY MIGHT!**_" Bracxious yelled.

"_**I AM THE VOICE THAT CRAZED OROCHIMARU; THE REASONS YOUR FRIEND DIED; THE SLIGHT WHISPERS THAT FORCED ITACHI TO KILL YOUR CLAN;**_" He let out a proud, thundering roar.

"_**I AM CORRUPTION INCARNATE!**_" He saw Aaron still grinning, not frightened nor intimidated in the least.

"_**YOU HAVE A PLAN. A PITY IT WILL FAIL.**_" He announced.

"Trust me, it won't." Aaron said. His avatar flew forward, and slashed at Bracxious. The dragon phased in and out of reality, simply avoiding the blade. It churned up earth in a straight line underneath his ethereal form.

"_**THAT BLADE CANNOT EVEN LAND A SCRATCH ON ME! YOU ARE A FOOL!**_" Bracxious roared. Aaron kept slashing at him, only for the dragon to phase again and again. More earth was churned up in lines and curves.

**Heaven**

Cryptus watched as his best friend took on Bracxious.

"So the Stranger is his father?" Cryptus asked. Kami walked over to where he was. A hole stood out in the cloud, and he was peering into it.

"This doesn't look good." Cryptus told her.

"I think he means for Bracxious to dodge his attacks." Kami told him. Cryptus peered closer. He gasped. Then he grinned.

"I see what he's doing..." He said in a "Clever..." voice.

"What?" Kami asked him.

"Take a good look at what is happening on the ground below Bracxious." He told her. She focused the vision of the hole. The lines and curves of churned earth were forming some kind of symbol.

"What is that?" She asked.

"That...is the elven symbol of purification and banishment." He told her.

"Why that particular symbol?"

"If you're able to put enough energy into it, you can use the symbol to banish any evil creature or being to hell, and you can also use it to resurrect someone." He told her. Kami looked shocked.

"So that means..."

"I'm gettin' a second chance." Cryptus said with a grin.

**YAY! THE BATTLE CONTINUES NEXT TIME ON:**

**All: ALL THE BIRDS OF AKATSUKI!**

**BAI BAI PEOPLES! MERRY CHRISTMAS! HERE'S A COOKIE!**


	39. Hansuke

**CHAPTER 39, BABIES! DISCLAIMERS! DO THE DISCLAIMERS, KAKUZU!**

**Kakuzu: Ok, ok, JEEZ!**

**...**

**...Well?**

**Kakuzu: Well what?**

**Are you going to do them?**

**Kakuzu: No.**

**Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?**

**Kakuzu: Because I'm not getting paid.**

**I'll tell Tobi you took away his Pixi Stix, which you **_**did**_**.**

**Kakuzu: Go ahead. I won't do them.**

**Tobi!**

**Tobi: Yes, Jinso-senpai?**

**Kakuzu took your Pixi Stix and burned them to a fine crisp.**

**Tobi:...YOU WILL PAY!**

**Kakuzu: Wha?**

**Tobi: *whispers something long in Kakuzu's ear***

**Kakuzu: *pales* Alright, I-I'll do them. Jinso does not own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any characters affiliated with them. He **_**d-does**_** own the three main characters, Endor, Cryptus, Bracxious, the elves, Illyon, Cragos, and HGOPAMLB. *pees his pants***

**Thank you Tobi!**

**Tobi: Jinso-senpai is welcome! *skips off***

**Kakuzu:...*shiver***

**Here's the chapter!**

**Rule 33: ART IS A BANG! (don't question it)**

**Normal POV**

"_**YOU CANNOT WIN! YOUR FATE IS INEVITABLE!**_" Bracxious shouted at him.

"That's the same thing Neji Hyuga said before the fight he _lost_ against Naruto." Aaron retorted with a smirk. Bracxious roared.

"_**WE SHALL SEE!**_" He said. Aaron's avatar charged at him once more, churning up soil like butter. Aaron then returned to the cliff where he had stood before.

"_**WITH THIS TOOL, I AM THE PERFECT CREATION; THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR! NOTHING WILL STAND IN MY PATH!**_"

"10 BUCKS SAYS YOU AREN'T!" Aaron shouted.

This just enraged Bracxious more, and he let loose a mighty and loud roar, much like the sound a t-rex would make.

"_**THIS TOOL I AM USING IS NOTHING MORE THAN A TOY; A MERE OBJECT! IT HAS NO VALUE! I ONLY NEED IT SO I CAN KILL YOU!**_" He yelled back. That was all it took for Aaron to snap.

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU MOTHERF***ING SON OF A GODD*** BITCH!" Aaron screamed. Aaron's hands balled so much that his knuckles turned as white as snow. He dropped his fists to his sides in one rapid movement. The next thing to come from the elf's throat was a loud cry of power. Sparks fluttered around him. They grew and grew, until he was a living spark plug. Then they burst into a magnificent golden aura, making the earth beneath him tremble and compress. He floated into the air even more so. Then, all hell broke loose in his sense of reason. He screamed beyond the point where a human's voice would have been lost. Gold light erupted from his aura, and began striking every point on Bracxious' body. The dragon was blown back by the tempest of attacks that ravaged him. But even with all of those blows, he wasn't killed yet. No, he couldn't be killed that easily. He was the epitome of darkness itself.

"_**I...**_" Bracxious began, heavily panting.

"_**I AM STILL ALIVE. YOU ARE STRONG, MY SON, BUT YOU ARE NOT STRONG ENOUGH.**_" Then he laughed.

"_**HAVE YOU ANY LAST WORDS BEFORE YOU GIVE UP?**_" Aaron lowered his head, covering the smirk he had.

"Yes..." Aaron began. Then he lifted his head.

"The seal is complete. You may have ruined my life, but now yours is all over. Do you know why?" He asked his father.

"_**WHY MAY THAT BE, HMM?**_"

"Because..." Aaron slammed his fists together.

"ART IS A BANG!" His voice rang out all over the world. A column of fire and light erupted from the seal, shining even all the way through heaven.

"_**NO! IT CAN'T BE!**_" Bracxious wailed. He slowly sunk down into the seal, slipping into the depths of Hell which lay below.

"You will suffer in the depths of Hell for all you have done, and you will tortured mercilessly and endlessly. NOW, YOU DIE!" Aaron told him.

"_**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**_" When his cry ended, the column of light began to waver.

**Heaven**

Cryptus began to fade on and off.

"It's time?" Kami asked. He nodded.

"I'm glad he gave me a second chance." Cryptus told her.

"He _is_ a forgiving person." She commented.

"When I come back here, I'll be known as Hansuke (helpful friend)." Kami nodded and smiled.

"I think you two are gonna have fun times together." She said. Cryptus gave a wave and disappeared.

"Mankind, the strangest creatures to ever exist..." Kami said with a sigh.

**Earth**

When the column disappeared, Cryptus was laying on the ground like a mummy, except his arms were by his sides. He sat up and blinked, adjusting to the light as the dark clouds dispersed and gave way to the break of dawn.

"Hey Cryptus." Aaron said happily.

"I'm not Cryptus anymore. I no longer want to entomb the world in darkness. I want to help it. Call me Hansuke." He told him. Aaron helped him up and patted him on the back.

"We're a strange bunch, aren't we?" He asked.

"Yes, yes we are." The two were silent, but then laughed as if nothing had ever happened.

"I missed you a lot." Aaron told him.

"Likewise. It was getting boring pranking the same Kage every day." Hansuke said. They both laughed again.

"We should be getting to Konoha. The villagers might hate you, but that's because most of them are cock-sucking, stereotypical assholes who need to go fucking die in a hole." Aaron said to Hansuke. When daylight had shone through again, Aaron's friends had come to see what would happen. They were shocked to see Cryptus there.

"Is-Is he still evil?" May asked, pointing a trembling finger at Hansuke. He flashed her a smirk.

"Only if you want me to be." He said. He and Aaron burst into laughter.

"He's just joking." Aaron told them, wiping a tear from his eye.

"I might or I might not be. You never know~" Hansuke retorted.

"I think that ship has sailed, my friend." Aaron said back. They both started laughing again. After about a minute, they both calmed down.

"We need to go to Konoha." Aaron told everyone. Anko got happy and hugged him.

"Let's go." She said. All five of them waved goodbye to the Akatsuki and Aaron put his hands in a seal. They disappeared in a flash of light, and reappeared on top of the Hokage Tower.

"What're we doing here?" Anko asked.

"I needed a ceremonial place to do something important." He said simply. Then he turned to Hansuke.

"You strived hard for the title of 'The Moon', and even though you became corrupted, you saw what you had done, and realized it was wrong." He began.

"By the power bestowed upon me by my predecessor and the elven gods, I officially give to you the title 'The Moon." With that, he slammed his palm into the roof of the tower. In the sky, the distant and near faint moon began to glow brightly, enough for it to distract nearly everyone on the planet. It kept getting brighter and brighter, until it was finally snow-white. Then, Hansuke glowed as well. He was lifted up into the air, and a flash burst into the air. He reappeared back on the roof, with a glowing crescent moon on his forehead. It disappeared, and the moon stopped glowing as well, and he looked at Aaron with a half-smile, half-smirk.

"I'm proud to accept this title." He said. Suddenly, Aaron yawned.

"Before I go to sleep—since I fought all night— how about some fun?" He said with a devious grin. Anko, Rich, May, and Hansuke's grins all matched his.

"What'cha got?" Rich asked. Aaron bared inch-long fangs.

**3 Hours Later**

Aaron settled back into the covers of his bed and laughed tiredly as he heard people crying out about their houses being 'vandalized', and that all the fish in the markets were plastered on important signs. Then he settled down with his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. Right before he fell asleep, he felt Anko hug him tightly, but not too tight.

'**Aw, young love...**" Inner commented.

'I'm too tired to think of a comeback. See ya in the mornin'.' Aaron thought. Then his room's light was turned off, and he fell into blissful slumber.

**AWWW! IT'S A WITTLE BIT FWUFFY! Yay! I got chapter 39 out! I'm going to be coming out with the next chapter as soon as I escape my ****prison**** (underlined for a reason) of a school. I HATE IT! BLARGHABLARGHABLARGH! Wow. Word actually accepted that. Weird...And yes, I type on Word. Got a problem? Go complain to Bracxious, who's in hell by the way.**

**...**

**Well, time to go!**

**Aaron: Tune in next time on:**

**All: ALL THE BIRDS OF AKATSUKI!**

**Hansuke: ARRRRRIIIIBA!**

**Me: FRIJOLE!**


	40. The Poker Tournament

**HALLOOOO! IT IS I, JINSOKUNA! **_**You**_** must call me Jinso, though. You can add any suffix you want to it. **_**ANYWAYS**_**, IT IS TIME FOR CHAPTER 40! I never thought I'd make it this far. This is the longest story out of the three I have done. HOORAY! Hansuke, would you do the disclaimers?**

**Hansuke: Sure! Jinso does not own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any characters affiliated with them. He does own my best friend, Aaron, Rich, May, **_**me**_**, of course, Illyon, HGOPAMLB, Bracxious, **_**that fucking bastard**_**, the elves, Ra'drith, and Endor.**

**Thank you very much! Are you all ready for some poker? Well, you're gettin' some! Not **_**that**_** some, you ero-bakas! YOU WILL HAVE POKER! YOU CAN TAKE MY LIFE, BUT YOU NEVER TAKE ****MY PIE****! YAARRRRGHHHHH!**

**Hansuke:...Nice Braveheart impression!**

**Why, thank you! Here you go, peoples!**

**Rule 35: It's all in the cards. No, not Yu-gi-oh, though I do like to play that. (It's true. It's a good strategy game.)**

**Normal POV**

Rich awoke to birds chirping and bright sunshine. (thought it was going to be Aaron, didn't ya?) It blinded him, and he fell sideways out of bed.

"Damn you, Beatles for making that song 'Here Comes the Sun'..." He mumbled after his face hit the wooden floor. He got up on his feet like a ninja would: with badass smoke and lightning fast-movements.

"If that song didn't fit right now, I'd have the Aaron resurrect the Beatles, and kick their asses..." Rich said as he walked over to his dresser.

"What to wear today..."

**With May**

May rose out of bed with a yawn and the sound of her lips smacking. She walked over to her mirror, and her eyes widened at her semi-big (read: hu-frickin'-mongo-giganticous) bedhead. Her eye twitched a little, as she hated having bed head, and she calmly grabbed a hairbrush. She then yanked and tugged on her hair with the brush, trying to straighten it out. After many minutes of pulling her hair and cursing the pink skull-covered unicorn that loved to torment her from somewhere in the skies above. Then a knock came at her door.

"Yes?" She called out.

"A-Are you awake?" Hinata's voice asked.

"Yep! Come on in!" May told her. Hinata entered, dressed in her pajamas.

"How are you doing today, Hinata?" May asked. Hinata gave a small smile.

"Good."

"So what's up?"

"W-Well, I thought you might want t-to know that father is entering a poker tournament tonight. The minimum amount of money required to play is 10,000,000 Ryu." She told her sister.

"A poker tournament? Rich and Aaron will definitely be there." May said with a devious grin.

"What are you thinking about?" Hinata asked.

"Aaron's gonna win." Was all May said. She then closed her eyes. Her right shoulder glowed, and she opened them again.

"What was that?" Hinata asked with her Byakugan activated, having seen that May's chakra had spiked a little.

"I was just telepathically telling Aaron that there was a poker tournament, and also the price." She explained. Hinata cocked her head a little.

"There's something I have to tell you." May said with a sigh. She motioned for Hinata to sit down on her bed, which lay beside the wall. Hinata sat down, and May began.

"A month ago, I discovered something pretty incredible. I found out that I am what's known as one of the Dragon Warriors."

"Dragon Warriors?"

"Yes. They're an ancient group of fighters who go into battle alongside dragons. I was given a dragon egg, and it hatched a month ago, yesterday."

"What's a dragon?" Hinata asked curiously.

"That is something I want to show you. Endor, you can come on out." May called. The sound of claws raking a little bit against wood was heard, and Endor came from the side of May's bed.

"That's what a d-dragon is?" May nodded.

"Pleased to meet you, Hinata." Endor said. Hinata gasped.

"It can talk?" She asked incredulously. Endor blew a puff of smoke out of his nostrils.

"I prefer to be referred to as a 'he'." He told her. Hinata looked about ready to faint.

"Don't faint. You two can converse for a while if you want. Endor, even though he is only a month old, is stronger than most human beings." May told her. With that, she left Hinata and Endor to themselves and went to go see what was going on inside the compound.

**Aaron's House**

Aaron sat up in bed slowly, yawning all the while. The time on his clock said 10:00AM. Suddenly, May's voice blossomed inside his head.

'_Just to let you know, Aaron, there's a poker tournament tonight, and you might want to tell Rich. You need 10,000,000 Ryu per person to play._' Before he could respond, their connection faded. He shrugged, got out of bed, and walked to Rich and Naruto's house to tell them. After that, he went to find Hansuke, who had actually spent the night in the forest.

"So what's up?" Hansuke asked.

"There's a poker tournament tonight, and I'm entering along with Rich. You wanna come?" Aaron asked him with a grin. Hansuke got what he meant, but refused.

"I'm fine. I assume you want me to give you some luck?" He asked. Aaron just grinned more. Hansuke sighed.

"Alright then." He made a very complicated sign with his hands, one which I will not describe for fear of running out of pages in Word (XD). A symbol appeared beneath Aaron's feet, and he glowed a little. His glow and the symbol vanished, and he thanked Hansuke, then went to prepare for the tournament.

**10:00PM, the finest bar in Konoha**

Aaron and Rich walked through the door, having gotten $20,000,000 each from the elven goddess of money. They both sat down in chairs next to each other, and looked around. Each of the clan heads was there, and so was Tsunade, Danzo Shimura, and Homura. Anko, Kurenai, May, and the genin were also watching, seeing what would happen. Aaron was obviously now the clan head for the Uchiha, and Rich was the Uzumaki clan head. Everyone cashed in 10,000,000 for chips and the games began. It started out with Aaron winning the first hand with a straight. Slowly, the game progressed on, with everyone taking a drink of sake at intervals. Later, the major betting began. The cards were dealt, and everyone was focused. Chouza won a hand with a full house. Then Hiashi won with a royal flush.

"Let's see if you all can beat me," Tsunade said, not revealing her cards. Many clan heads began sweating. Aaron just stayed emotionless at the sight of his cards. His face was made of stone. On the inside, though, he was grinning from ear to ear. The pot right now was 250,000 Ryu. Shikaku folded, as did Inoichi, Chouza, Tsume, Danzo, Homura, Shibi, and Rich. Only Hiashi and Aaron were left. Hiashi called. Aaron wanted more of a challenge, so he said,

"I will wager _it_." He said. Everyone gasped at him.

"You wouldn't!" Rich said in disbelief. Aaron unsheathed Hisōzōsha from his back, but willed the flames not to burst, and laid it on the table.

"I would." Tsunade and Hiashi both nodded. Tsunade was first to reveal hers.

"Full house, queen high." Everyone stared, silence all about. Hiashi then smirked.

"Full house, king high." He said. The watchers and Tsunade gawped. Aaron then grew a major smirk. Hiashi and Tsunade both paled at his expression.

"Full house, _ace high_." He said. The jaws of every person in the room but him broke through the floor. He just packed his cards together, and scooped the pot towards him.

"Next round~!" He proclaimed. The cards were shuffled, then dealt again. Everyone watched with intent as the game went on. Soon, Hiashi, Tsunade, Inoichi, and Homura were all drunk.

"I...I'm g-going to wager my house in the-the land of Nude Beaches." Hiashi said while swaying in his seat.

"Plus, o-one of my country ma-mansions and a m-maid." He added. Everyone gasped. If you had looked carefully, you would see a bulge in the pants of every adult male in the room. He must've really thought he could win if he wagered that.

"I'll wager all my sake!" Tsunade announced. Everyone gasped harder. Aaron just smirked and revealed his cards. Four of a kind.

"DAMMIT!" Tsunade shouted. And so, the rounds went on, with Homura passing out on the floor, Chouza running off to get food and not coming back, Shibi passing out with his head on the table, and Rich slumping in his chair. Aaron showed Rich's cards.

"Damn, he could've won, had he not passed out." He remarked. Some more rounds went on, with the game nearing its end. Only Tsume, Danzo, Aaron, Tsunade, and Hiashi were still conscious or there by then.

"This round is winner takes all." Tsunade told them. They all nodded.

"Everyone, wager what you have." They began thinking of things they could wager.

"I wi-will wager the Hot-(urk)-Hot Springs." (Bet you know who!)

"I'll wager my favorite bo staff." Danzo.

"I'll wager all my money." Tsume.

"Same here." Tsunade.

"I'll wager my compound, my sword, all my money, and...the title of 'King of the Elven Race'." Aaron said grimly. Everyone looked at him in utter shock and disbelief. Was he insane?

"King of the Elven Race?" Danzo asked. Aaron nodded.

"As you guys know, the person I defeated just yesterday was my father, Bracxious—damn him to hell—oh, wait, he's already there—who I hate with all my guts. What you might not have known is that he was the king of the elves before he became corrupt. Since I am his son, I have the right to the title of the king of the elves." He explained. They stood in shock. He would seriously bet all of that?

"Now show your cards." Aaron ordered. Tsume revealed first.

"Three of a kind." Then it was Danzo.

"A full house, queen high." Then Tsunade.

"Full house, king high." Second to last, it was Hiashi.

"Four pairs, suckers! Ha!" He then swayed and his head banged on the table loudly. They stopped and looked at his cards.

"Man, he must've been **really** drunk if he thought he had four pairs!" Tsunade exclaimed. Hiashi had no pairs or any good cards at all. Finally it was Aaron.

"Four of a kind." Jaws dropped one by one all around the room, making a sort of music. He just scooped up the winnings, which was 40,000,000 Ryu, and sealed them in a scroll.

"I really just need the money. You all can keep your belongings and such." Aaron said.

"I need to go visit a friend." He then told them. Then he just teleported away, leaving a stunned crowd and Hiashi getting his head shoved into a bucket of water.

Aaron reappeared in a room filled with money, gold, and gems. There he saw a lime-green haired woman sitting on the floor, counting all the cash.

"Hey, Moneyyeah." Aaron said. (It's pronounced: Muh-nee-yeah.)

"Uggghhh!" She cried out. Then she got up off the floor and walked over to him.

"You made me lose count!" Moneyyeah yelled. She was about to yell again when he unsealed his poker chips.

"Is that all for me?" She asked. He rubbed his head sheepishly.

"Actually, half." She scowled.

"You get 20,000,000 Ryu." She instantly brightened up. He gave her half of the chips, and she turned the ones he had left into cash.

"Thanks!" He said. Then he just disappeared and reappeared back at the bar. Nearly everyone had gone, the genin had left, and Rich was awake.

"Damn, man, you won 40,000,000 bucks? Niiiice." Rich said. Aaron shrugged.

"It's a gift."

"So what are you going to do with the money?"

"I don't know. I'll have to think." They were silent for a moment, but it wasn't awkward (thank god, or else a gay baby would've been born!). Then Aaron said,

"Let's go guys." Rich, May, Anko, and Aaron then started walking together towards the district where their houses were. Somewhere along the way, Anko felt a hand on her butt. So she turned around, along with everyone else, to see a guy grinning at her suggestively. But the moment he saw Aaron's expression, he looked ready to piss his pants. Everyone felt a massive spike of power. So his friends turned to see Aaron seething beyond all belief, his eyes full of rage and fury. They all began to back away as a golden glow started forming around him. His eyes turned golden as well. The ground underneath him started wavering, and was being crushed under his awesome power, forming a large crater. His muscles bulged and grew a little bit bigger. In a single moment, he grabbed the man's neck and slammed him into a wall.

"**Listen to me!**" He barked with a deep voice, which sounded mixed with another, more ancient voice.

"_**Never**_** do that again! Back on my homeworld, you would have been flogged for doing such a thing! If you ever try that again, your life will be hell before you even get there!**" He yelled at the man, who was flinching under his tone and the volume of his voice.

"**DO YOU UNDERSTAND?**" Aaron asked at a booming volume. The man nodded in fear.

"**Now get control of your hormones, and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT!**" He finished. He let go of the man, and he scampered away, with everyone else that was out on the streets staring at him. He just flew off with his glow still around him.

**YAY FOR CHAPTER 40! I hate my other older sister right now. Yes, I have two sisters. I'm the youngest in my family. She yells at me for getting food when it's after dinner. She thinks she's the boss of me, and she even threatens to hurt me for not doing what she says. As if she could hurt me. I could kick her ass with one hand lopped off! Yep, I hate her guts right now. I feel like sacrificing her to Jashin-sama for everything she does! KABOOM! MUAHAHAHAHA! Damn fucking control freak bitch...Well, I shouldn't bore you with my personal problems, so goodbye!**

**~Jinso ^3^**


	41. New Enemies and a Bloody Dawn!

HELLO AGAIN! As you may have noticed, I'm not typing the beginning A/N in bold. That's because...

IT'S IN A NEW FORMAT NOW! _HELL_ YEAH!

Dutchy Puppy: JOUR VELCOME!

Time for DISCLAIMERS!

**Disclaimer: I hath no reason to claimeth that I ownst Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any so characters that might be affiliatedeth with them. So...DISCLAIMETH!**

Now then, on with Chapter 41:

**NEW ENEMIES AND A BLOODY DAWN****!**

**Normal POV**

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

Aaron woke up to a knock at his door early in the dawn. The sky was the color of blood, and it would've scared some had they woken up with him.

'_Who could __that__ be?_' He wondered in his mind. The knock came again, this time, more pressed than a usual visitor's would be. So he groggily got out of bed and trudged to the door, mumbling something about "Fate getting his comeuppance". He swung the door open lazily, and there stood Tsunade holding a scroll.

"Tsunade?" He asked with one eye half open. She nodded nervously.

"Why're you here?" Aaron asked her.

"We received a message for you." She told him, her eyes having traces of a frightened look.

"So?"

"You need to read it. It's really important."

"Why?"

"No one has read it yet, but we found it sitting in a small pool of blood, addressed to you." His eyes widened, but he nodded. She handed him the scroll and started to run away.

"Wait, where are you going?" He asked.

"Back to my duties." With that, she ran away, giving him no time to ask any further. He opened the scroll and read the grim message that lay on it.

_Hello, __Illyon__._

He froze. Only _enemies_ called him by his god name. And it was pronounced with such venom that he could practically see it oozing off the parchment.

_We have seen what has been going on lately, and have a...test...for you, so to speak. We hope you will enjoy the fact that we have taken your beloved. We sincerely hope you like the surprise._

_~The Ageul _(1)

His eyes remained wide for a few seconds as he read the signature. But then, they changed to a shade of black so cold that ice would have been humbled by it. Then came the fury and anger that lay inside them, melting the cold and bursting out of him. His entire body became outlined with a single, thin, gold line. Then it spread, creating a flaring aura around him. His hair whipped about, his power creating gales of wind around. Then ground beneath him began to form a huge crater. Gathering all his rage, it bunched up. And there was only one place for it to go; out. He let out a primal roar, and thunder and lightning clapped down in the skies. People ran out of their homes, and saw him standing outside of his house, screaming in rage. A massive lightning bolt touched down, and lit a house on fire, destroying some of it. Luckily, its residents were already outside, watching as Aaron's fury swarmed all over. He flew towards the Hokage Tower and broke through the wall, shocking Tsunade.

"I'm going somewhere. _They_ took Anko, and I'm going to get my revenge." Then he flew off, not wanting to hear her response. She called two ANBU in.

"Get Rishi Uzumaki and Maya Hyuga here RIGHT NOW!" She yelled. They saluted, and shunshined to the two's houses. Within moments, they were back with Aaron's best friends.

"Gather any shinobi you need and get Aaron back!" May and Rich nodded and ran out the door.

**Forest**

Aaron landed down next to Hansuke.

"What's up?"

"I need you to come with me. The Ageul captured Anko." Hansuke's eyes widened. Then they narrowed in anger.

"They're going to pay for hurting my best friend's girlfriend." He cracked his knuckles. They both tried to take off, but found they couldn't move.

"Shadow possession success." Shikamaru's lazy voice said. Aaron growled, and his eyes glowed red this time.

"Aaron, why the HELL are you running away when the village is being destroyed?" Rich asked.

"**I am not running away! **_**They**_** took her, and I'm going after them!**" He exclaimed in a deep voice. Rich and May both winced a little at his tone.

"Who's _they_?" May asked.

"**The creatures I **_**hate**_** as much as my father!**" He spat.

"What creatures?" Rich asked. He made a face of disgust when he thought of them.

"I believe he means the Ageul." Came Endor's voice from behind them. A tall man walked forward. He had grey eyes, fairly tan skin, and hair the color of blood. Maroon tresses fell all over his face, framing it in a sort of peculiar way.

"Who're you? And who's the Ageul?" May asked.

"May, I'm hurt that you wouldn't even recognize your own dragon!" Endor joked.

"Endor?" May asked. He nodded.

"**That is his avatar. Every dragon can change to the form of a human to disguise themselves and such.**" Aaron explained. She made an expression of understanding.

"**And as for your question to who the ****Ageul**** are, they are **_**filthy**_** creatures who spite my race, and DESERVE TO DIE!**"

"What do you mean 'they deserve to die'?" Rich asked.

"**They have slaughtered thousands, if not MILLIONS of my people! We have been at war for centuries, and even though they are an intelligent race, they are stupid to take a loved one from a god!**" He told them.

"What do they look like?" Aaron closed his eyes, and an image wavered to life in front of them. It depicted a horrific looking creature reminiscent of a troll. The image faded after they studied it, and Aaron said,

"**Hansuke and I are going to get Anko back. Do not follow me, for the Ageul will kill each of you in one swift blow. Goodbye for now.**" With that, he and Hansuke faded into nothing. They stared for a moment, and then Rich punched a tree and shouted,

"DAMN IT!" The tree snapped in half.

**3 miles away from there**

Aaron and Hansuke appeared at the top of a hill.

"So how are we going to find them?" Hansuke asked.

"I just have to find Anko's energy." He told his friend. He placed two fingers onto his forehead.

"What are you doing?" Hansuke asked him.

"If I can do this right, we should be able to warp directly to where Anko is." He closed his eyes and focused his mind. Then he opened them quickly.

"I've got her energy. Grab my hand." He held his right hand out, and Hansuke took it. The two wavered, then disappeared with a loud "WHOOSH!"

**Secret Base**

Anko was chained to the wall, and she was mad.

"Let me go!" Anko raged. A person that looked like a disfigured troll walked up to her.

"Ah, but not yet, my lovely. We have to wait for your lover to get here first." He said, holding her chin up with a clawed finger. She spat on his face, and he growled.

"You are lucky we haven't killed you yet. I suggest you do not try your luck." Suddenly, Aaron and Hansuke appeared in the middle of the room.

"Aaron!" Anko shouted. Aaron scowled at the troll who was next to her.

"Let her go, Zhib'rec." He ordered.

"But why? We were having so much fun." He licked the side of her face, making her shiver in disgust, and making Aaron seethe.

"You'll have to play our little game first." Zhib'rec said. Aaron growled, but surrendered.

"Fine. But she is left untouched." He told Zhib'rec.

"We'll have to see." Suddenly, Aaron's hands were forced behind him, and he was handcuffed.

"Hey, what the hell?" He cried out. Hansuke tried to Aaron's assailant, but he too was handcuffed, and then was pushed against the wall.

"Now you cannot use your powers. The game will commence." Aaron was then pushed onto the ground, and the room began to shake. Suddenly, nearly a dozen boulders fell from the ceiling and fell onto Aaron.

"Aaron!" Hansuke and Anko both cried out. Zhib'rec laughed evilly.

"Let's see how long you can last while we..._attend_ to your beloved." He laughed again. Hansuke and Aaron both tried to break out of their bonds, but found they couldn't.

"Those bonds cut off your energy. Only an ungodly amount of energy can break them!" Zhib'rec said snobbishly. He pulled out a dagger and held it against Anko's throat.

"You have half a minute to get out of there before her throat is slashed. I suggest you hurry~" He said as if it were a game. Aaron kept struggling. It was so hard!

"Fifteen seconds~" He still kept struggling.

'_Dammit! Why the hell does this always happen to me?_' He asked himself.

"10, 9, 8, 7..." The final countdown was beginning. His eyes widened. He wouldn't be able to make it! But he had to try!

"4, 3, 2, 1..."

"NO!" He cried out. The dagger moved across Anko's throat. Her eyes widened as well, then began closing as her entire world began fading away. He growled loudly. Zhib'rec turned around and began walking away with a happy whistle. The ground began shaking. So he stopped and looked back in fear. Light began shining through the cracks of the pile of boulders. Suddenly, it intensified, and a massive explosion occurred. When the smoke vanished, Aaron was standing on the ground, his hair longer and ablaze, a golden aura around him, and pupil-less eyes that promised death and pain.

"_**You DARE to harm her! You shall spend an eternity in hell for doing such a thing!**_" Aaron shouted in his godly voice. He held his hands forward. Tendrils made of light shot out of the ground and wrapped themselves tightly around each troll's throat. They began to beg and scream.

"Please! We-ACK! We're so-sorry!" Zhib'rec pleaded.

"_**It is too late! Your fate was sealed the moment you took her!**_"

"We're-ACK!-*cough*-*cough*-SORRY, AARON!"

"_**You do not even deserve to call me that! I am Illyon, god of the sun, vanquisher of the dark, brother of the Moon, and the man by which your death will come painfully!**_" Aaron roared. Ten tendrils appeared for every man and plunged themselves into their bodies, ripping bloody gashes and holes, and burning their insides.

"_**Hansuke, grab her and get out of here! I will meet you in Konoha!**_" Hansuke nodded and grabbed Anko. He held two fingers to his forehead and disappeared. Aaron let out another primal roar. Pieces of earth began floating upwards at the feeling of his power. He slammed his palm into the ground, and the entire base was bathed in a deadly light.

_Chapter...End!_

Did you like it? The end author's note is also in non-bold too! Now onto the definitions and pronunciations!

(1): Pronounced: (ahg-ale) Literal Korean for evil.


	42. Life Becomes a Game for Rich & Aaron!

CHAPTER 42! WAAIYAA! OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! Here it is for joo, my loyal fans!

**Disclaimer: I hath no reason to claimeth that I ownst Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any so characters that might be affiliatedeth with them. So...DISCLAIMETH!**

Now then, on with Chapter 42:

**Life Becomes a Game for Rich & Aaron!**

**Normal POV**

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

**Konoha Hospital**

Tsunade, Hansuke, Kurenai, Arine, and five nurses rushed into the ER, wheeling a hospital bed which carried Anko. She had a long, bloody gash on her neck, and her skin was deathly pale.

"What happened?" Tsunade asked.

"The Ageul kidnapped Anko, trapped Aaron under a pile of boulders, and then made him play their 'game', which meant if he couldn't get out from under the boulders in half a minute, they would slash her throat!" Hansuke explained.

"Who're the Ageul, and why wasn't Aaron able to get out from under the boulders in time?"

"The Ageul are these troll-like people who are the mortal enemies of the elves, and Aaron wasn't able to get out from under the boulders because they cuffed him with some special kind of metal which made him unable to use his powers!" Hansuke told her as they were still rushing. She nodded. They finally got into the ER after yelling at people to "Get the hell out of the way!" in Tsunade's choice of words. The five nurses looked over Anko's wound.

"Oh, this is bad!" One with brown hair said.

"What? What is it?" Hansuke asked hurriedly.

"She's got some kind of poison in her system! We can't even touch it!" She yelled. Hansuke raised his fist and slammed it on a table, crushing it like it was a toothpick.

"DAMN IT!" He shouted.

"Aaron, you gotta get here!"

**Ageul Base**

The light faded, and all around him were devastated ruins, cracked and broken, crushed and torn. Pillars lay on the ground, cracked in half. Walls were like crumbs on a dinner table.

"_**That is what you deserve,scum!**_" Aaron said. He roared once more, and began creating massive explosions and flashes of light out of anger. Then he stopped.

"_**Anko...**_" He placed his middle and index fingers on his forehead and disappeared.

**Konoha Hospital**

They all were waiting for Aaron worriedly. What if he was too angry to focus? Suddenly, he appeared in the middle of the room, making everyone cry out. Then he walked over to Anko and laid a hand on her forehead.

"There's a strong venom in her bloodstream." He turned to them.

"Stay back." He ordered. Anko's forehead glowed where his palm lay.

"_Haeille, porsandre worund. Don neote letress herenn blodvell spillestre._" He whispered in a gentle voice. The glow brightened. Then it faded away, leaving her forehead looking like it had never been there. Then her skin brightened a little, and the gash closed a centimeter tighter. He kept his hand on her forehead.

"What did you say?" Tsunade asked.

"He said, '_Heal, poisoned wound. Do not let her blood spill._' That was in the ancient language of the gods." Hansuke answered.

"So what did he—"

"As he is the god of healing, he can heal any wound, even a fatal one, so long as the god of the dead permits." Hansuke explained.

"So who is the god of the dead?"

"I am. I permitted it because she's supposed to live."

"How do you know that?"

"I am the god of death, fates, and the moon."

"I thought only Aaron could know the future."

"He does, but in the form of prophecies. I tell him of the fates, and he turns them into prophecies. We're practically brothers and partners in what our godly duties are."

"Ohhhhh." They could see Aaron's lips moving silently, and a glowing mark appeared on Anko's forehead, then went away as fast as it had come.

"What was that?"

"I blessed her." Aaron told them. Suddenly, Rich and May came bursting in the room.

"Tsunade-sama, we weren't able to get Aaron ba—" They stopped when they saw that Aaron was standing right there.

"Aaron? How'd you get here so fast?"

"I killed them." He said with a low pitch in his voice.

"The Ageul?"

"I slaughtered them for hurting her. Soon their race will pay..." Everyone took an instinctive step back from him.

"I'm going into the forest. You may visit me if Hansuke allows it." He told them. Then he added.

"Her system is healing quickly. Do not let anyone touch her _no matter what_." With that, Aaron disappeared into thin air. They looked and saw that the gash on her neck was already near non-existant.

**Konoha Forest**

He reappeared in the middle of a dense area. Slowly, he drew a symbol inside a circle on the ground. It looked like a 5, but with a backslash from the end of its tail to the end of the line on top, and two asterisk-like marks inside each open space. He sat down at one end of it and meditated.

"_Shrendow mrae hendessr; thrine onshke whradshao garllve mrae lindrofe..._" Aaron said softly. A gentle breeze flowed through the forest. If you listened closely, you would have heard a voice translating what he said.

"_Show me her; the one who gave me life..._" It whispered. A cloud of blue mist came out of him, and went over to the side of the symbol opposite him. It then began taking the form of a woman. When it finished, Aaron's hard eyes softened.

"Mother..." He said. Mikoto smiled at him.

"Alren..."

"I don't know what to do. I've already lost you, my race, my best friend, even though I brought him back, and now I almost lost the one I love. Please help me..." He begged, a tear coming down his face.

"It's alright..." She cooed, trying to soothe her son.

"You have to be strong. Fight for the ones you love. Show that you can beat whatever comes your way." Mikoto told him. He wiped the lone tear off of his face.

"Thank you..." He said.

"Everyone needs guidance at some point in their lives. This is yours..." With that, she faded into nothing. He got up, and erased the symbol. Then he turned to a tree, and punched a massive hole in it. Hansuke appeared right next to him.

"Anko's healthy now. You might wanna come back." He told Aaron. Aaron nodded, and Hansuke disappeared. Then he teleported back to the hospital, sensing Anko's energy flourishing again.

**Hospital**

Rich, May, Arine, and Tsunade were all sitting in separate chairs, waiting for either Anko to wake up, Hansuke to get back, or for both Aaron and Hansuke to get back. They both appeared in the middle of the room, and Aaron walked over to Anko. He laid a hand on her shoulder. Slowly, she stirred, her eyes opening groggily, and she blinked many times.

"Aaron?..." She asked hoarsely.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." He said gently.

"What happened?..."

"You nearly got killed and he went 1337 on their asses!" Hansuke said with a laugh.

"Wha?..."

"It means he pwned them into last year." Rich explained.

"Did you guys know that 1337 began as an elven term?" Aaron asked.

"Damn..." Rich trailed. Anko slowly sat up in her hospital bed. Aaron leaned in and hugged her tightly, but not too much.

"Why don't we go celebrate the fact that you're alive?" Rich suggested. Aaron cheered.

"Come on." Aaron helped Anko get out of her bed, and they all walked to a bar. When they sat down, someone shouted out,

"Hey look! It's the Snake Bitch! Careful, she'll turn you into a pedo!" Aaron scowled in their direction.

"Why do they have to be so cruel?" Anko asked him in a hushed voice.

"Ooh, look! Her voice is hoarse! I bet he gave her such a deep-throat that she doesn't want to leave him! That's all she's good for!" The person shouted again. Arine, Hansuke, Rich, May, and Anko could feel Aaron's rage growing.

"Everyone but Rich, get out of here." He ordered.

"Aaron..." May warned.

"When I'm done, there won't even need to be someone to clean this place up." He told them.

"Why everyone but me?" Rich asked him. Aaron grinned wolfishly at him.

"I want you to help me pwn some noobs." He answered. Rich's grin matched his.

"Let's do it." They both cracked their knuckles. The others got Anko and got out of the bar.

"You two're gonna take _us all_ on? You're dumber than I thought!" The person yelled back. Every patron who was a dumbass got out of their seats and laughed. Suddenly, they all froze. Aaron waved a hand in front of their faces.

"What's going on?" He asked. Suddenly, like in a Star Trek movie (yes, I'm a Trekkie), a beam of light appeared, and out of it stepped a man with spiky silver hair. He looked to be about 21, and his blue-green eyes had a mischievous glint in them.

"Who're you?" Rich asked, pointing at the man.

"Me? I'm Jinsokuna wa mada yasashii, the author, and the man who controls your entire existence!" He said enthusiastically.

"You control my existence?" Aaron asked.

"Sure as hell! I control your every movement via an HP Windows Vista laptop!" Jinsokuna made an eye-smile.

"So why are you here?" Rich asked.

"Well," Jinsokuna began.

"I've noticed that I've given both Aaron and May skills and things that make them 1337, but you don't have any. So, I'm adding to Aaron's, but I'm also giving you some!"

"Some what?"

"Pro skills!" Jinsokuna said with a smile.

"Like what?"

"Simple. You guys have heard of an hacking and cheat codes, right?" They both nodded.

"Well, think of something like...you both can imagine cheat codes for life, and use them to their full potential! All you have to do is think of a five-digit cheat code, such as 'L-R-A-A-B', and shout it like a jutsu. You also have to think of what you want it to be used for. Anyways, once you have used the cheat code, you can use it again and again. Also, I've already got some for you set up in a cheats list. To open the cheats list, you have to shout 'Pause!', and time will stop like in a game. Then you select the cheat codes you guys and I have created that you wish to use, and use them/it."

"Why don't you practice it on these uber noobs?" Jinsokuna suggested.

"So we just shout 'Pause!', and time stops? Then we select our cheats, right?" Rich asked.

"I'll even give you a quest to start you off with something awesome! Just pause life, and select 'Enable Fists of Fury'!" He said.

"Ok!" Rich said happily.

"Good. The reward you'll get will be quite worth it!" Jinso said with that mischievous glint in his eye again. With that, he stepped off to the side.

"Won't they notice you?" Rich asked.

"Nah. I'm the author, so I control whatever happens." Jinso said with a bored look.

"NOW LET THE GAMES BEGIN!" A trumpet flourish sounded. Suddenly, the people snapped back to life.

"You're a dumbass if you think you can take us!" The guy sneered.

"What you don't know is..." Rich smirked.

"What we can do..." Aaron continued.

"Will make you PAUSE!" The patrons froze in place. A list of cheats appeared in front of them. Aaron found the one that said "Enable Fists of Fury". He tapped it, and the screen disappeared. Rich then looked confused.

"Hey, Jinso? How do we unpause life?" Jinso sighed.

"How do you unpause a game?" He asked in return.

"You do the same thing you do to pau-Oh!"

"Exactly. Just shout 'Pause!' again, and life will unpause. Now please continue. I really want you to kick their asses so I can get back to where I need to be. Assassin's Creed isn't gonna play itself." Aaron and Rich nodded.

"Pause!" The bar patrons unfroze.

Aaron and Rich's fists lit up in flames.

"Whoa..." Aaron grinned. Then he punched a man in the face. Then he kicked him. Then a barrage of attacks came out of him. A number appeared beside him, and kept counting upwards.

"**C-C-COMBO BREAKER!**" A male voice announced out of nowhere. The man flew backwards into a wall; the meter had stopped at 100. Rich shouted "Pause!" again, and time stopped.

"What was that for? I wanted to punch some more people!" Aaron whined.

"Relax. I wanted to check our stats." A list appeared in front of Rich, and he scrolled through it.

_**Player 1: Aaron**____(Hiroshi Uchiha) (Prince Alren) (Illyon)_

_Stats: 100,000 HP 20,000 Chakra_

_Skills: Soul Beam, Dr. Octagonapus no Jutsu, God Form, Sword of Truths mastery, Genjutsu Mastery, Hax, Time Stop, Falcon Punch, Combo Breaker (Just to name a few)_

_**Player 2: Rich**____(Rishi-Uzumaki-Namikaze)_

_Stats: 2,000 HP 3,000 Chakra_

_Skills: Time Stop, Hax, Raireza, Falcon Punch, Combo Breaker_

_**Chapter 1: A Test of New Powers from the Crazy Yet Lovable Author!**_

_**Opponents:Bar Patron #1**_

_Stats: 10 HP 2 Chakra_

_Skills: Drunken Idiocy_

_**Bar Patron #2**_

_Stats: 0 HP (KO) 3 Chakra_

_Skills: Nothing (WEAKASS)_

_**Bar Patron #3**_

_Stats: 50 HP 1 Chakra_

_Skills: Nothing_

_**Bar Patron #4**_

_Stats: 500 HP 300 Chakra_

_Skills: Shunshin, Kunai Throw, Shuriken Toss, Kawarimi, Substitution, Henge_

_**Bar Patron #5**_

_Stats: 20 HP 2 Chakra_

_Skills: Nothing_

The list of opponents stopped there.

"Wow, one of 'em's a shinobi." Rich commented.

"Oh well. It's still fun to beat the shit out 'o someone!" Aaron said happily. He clapped, and the fight resumed back to normal. Bar Patron #1 rushed at Rich, but he side-stepped and falcon punched him in the face, sending him spiraling out into the sky, shouting,

"FALCON PAUNCH!" The man shouted,

"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" as he was flying. They also heard a faint cry of "Wobbuffet!" The man disappeared in a glint of light which looked like a star.

"Damn, you were right. You _do_ need gloves for your hands not to hurt from that!" Rich said, rubbing his sore hand.

"**Bar Patron #1: KO!**" The male voice rang out from the sky.

"**Battle, continue!**"

"AW HELLZ YAH! Thank you, crazy author dude who controls the story!" Aaron said while looking at the sky. Everyone besides Rich gave him a "WTF?" look. A slight breeze went through the bar and whispered,

"_You're welcome, but call me that again, and I kill off Anko..._" Aaron nodded carefully. Then he turned back to the patrons and shouted "Pause!".

"What cheat should we pick now?" Aaron asked, scrolling through the list. Rich saw one he liked, and said,

"Let's try 'Mega Speed Boost'!" Aaron nodded, and tapped the cheat. The male voice rang out.

"**Aaron and Rich speed boost to: MAX!**"

"Hell yeah!" Rich cried out. Aaron clapped his hands, and time unfroze. He and Rich moved around so fast that the patrons seemed to be in 100x Slow-mo. They punched the last three patrons in the face, and finished their work. Jinso just faded away with an amused and pleased smile on his face. The breeze whipped through the bar again, this time whispering,

"_I'm a happy waffle cake..._"

**BAR PATRONS DEFEAT!**

**ITEMS GAINED: NONE**

**RICH LEVEL UP: LVL 40**

**AARON LEVEL UP: LVL 40**

**RYOU GAINED: 100**

**EXP GAINED: 500**

**TROPHY UNLOCKED: 100x COMBO BREAKER!**

**REWARD: BRASS KNUCKLES OF DOOM AND PWNAGE x2**

**+500 EXP**

**+50 CHAKRA**

**QUEST FINISHED: TRIAL BY AUTHOR!**

**REWARD: CHEAT UNLOCKED: NON-SHARINGAN TSUKIYOMI!**

"That was frickin' awesome!" Rich shouted. The other patrons who hadn't participated watched in shock at what had happened. In a flash, the two had taken out five patrons, and some mysterious voice had shouted upgrades and such. Aaron and Rich just walked outside.

"I wanna select a few more cheats before we get a night's rest." Aaron said. So he clapped and the world froze. The list appeared in front of him. He tapped six of them, and it disappeared.

"So what did you pick?" Rich asked him. He just pointed at the sky. As if Aaron had cued it, the male voice rang out,

"**AARON AND RICH UPGRADE:**

**MAX STAMINA,**

**MAX INTELLIGENCE,**

**MAX STRENGTH,**

**MAX CHARM,**

**MAX KISSING ABILITY,**

**ALL TECHNIQUES UNLOCKED!**"

"Max kissing ability?" Rich questioned. Aaron shrugged.

"Hey, gotta have some fun every once in a while!" He said happily. They just walked along the street until they ran into everyone else.

"You guys okay?" Hansuke asked.

"We're better than okay! We're 1337, bitches!" Rich announced, happy as a waffle cake(1). They just cocked their heads.

"W-Well, what should we do now?" Arine asked.

"Hang on." Rich said.

"Pause!"

"_Falcon Punch for all Characters Unlocked" Check!_

_Are you sure?____Yes!_

**FALCON PUNCH IS NOW UNLOCKED FOR ALL PLAYERS! HOORAY FOR YOU!**

"Pause!"

"W-What was that?" Arine asked.

"Oh, nothing. Just that you all can do a falcon punch now." Aaron just grabbed Anko and started making out with her. When they broke apart. She swayed.

"Damn..." Anko said woozily.

"I GOT THE POWER!" Aaron said loudly in a sort-of autotuned voice, pumping his right fist in the air while keeping his left arm around Anko.

"I think we all need to get to bed. Today's becoming too crazy." Hansuke suggested. They nodded.

"See you all later!" Aaron said with a wave. They all walked to their homes and got in bed. Before he fell asleep, Aaron opened his cheats list and tapped "Anko's Curse Seal Removed" Then he said,

"Pause," and drifted off into the world of the subconscious mind.

Did joo lieks it?

(1): A term this author usually uses when he is happy. Note: This phrase can only be said by the insane, and if attempted by the sane, said sane person will lose the ability to talk forever. This only happens in the story, though.

Give me suggestions for cheats and such, and I will see you all soon! BAI BAI!

_Cheat Unlocked: Awesome Reviews_

BAI BAI, AGAIN PEOPLES!


	43. Pwnin Noobs and New Codes!

HEY AGAIN! IT'S TIME FOR CHAPTER 43! OH _YEAHHHHHHHHH!_

Btw, to Dutchy Puppy:

I saw your idea! That sounds pretty funny! In fact, I already thought up a scene using that, and am including it in this chapter! I also got an idea from yours! DANK JOO SOOOOOOOO MUCH! HUGGLES! *hugs Dutchy Puppy*

...

Ok, that's enough OOC-ness! *sheepishly rubs back of head*

Last thing before we begin the chapter:

I got the idea of altering reality with hacks from the story: Naruto:Life is a Game by rebukex7. He is a genius with that idea, and I praise his work. You should check his story out!

Okay, last, _last_ thing before we begin the chapter:

**DISCLAIMER AND WARNING:**

**DISCLAIMER:****I hath no reason to claimeth that I ownst Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any so characters that might be affiliatedeth with them. So...DISCLAIMETH!**

**WARNING: This chapter contains tidbits of DBZ, Mario, waffle cakes (mmm yummy!), and sexual references. If you are offended by the last one, GET THE F*** OFF THIS WEBSITE AND GO JERK OFF TO BDSM! THERE'S A LOT OF SEXUAL REFERENCES ON HERE! WHO GIVES A FLYING F***?**

Okay, time to begin Chapter 43:

**PWNIN' NOOBS AND NEW CODES!**

**Normal POV**

_Chapter...Begin!_

Aaron woke up to a MAJOR death hug from Anko.

"Why ya huggin' me?" He asked.

"I don't know how you did it, but my seal is gone!" She said with tears streaming down her face and a smile the size of Manhattan stretching across her features.

"You wanna know how I did it?" He asked mischievously. She nodded her head rapidly. Aaron looked up at the sky.

"Hey Jinso! How can I show Anko the hacks?" He called out. Again a slight breeze ghosted through the room, with Jinso's voice whispering,

"_Just tell her to touch you and then do what you normally do..._"

"Thanks!"

"_You're welcome..._"

"What was that?" Anko asked confusedly.

"_That_ was the author telling me something important." Aaron told her.

"The author?"

"Apparently we're part of a fanfiction by someone named Jinsokuna wa mada yasashiii, and he gave me and Rich the power to practically hack reality. It's awesome." He told her.

"Fanfiction? Hack?"

"You remember how I told you that you're part of an anime show, right?" She nodded.

"A fanfiction is a fan-made fictional story about something. Hacking is when you break into the encoding of something and re-write it to change the game or whatever to what you want." Aaron explained. She nodded again.

"Hold onto my arm." He ordered. She laid a hand on his left arm, and he shouted,

"Pause!"

"Nothing's happened." Anko complained. She moved to get off him, but he stopped her.

"Don't let go of me. If you do, you'll be frozen in time until I say pause again. Only Rich, Jinso, and I are able to not be frozen in time. Rich and I are able because we can control it, and Jinso is able because he's the author." He said. She nodded once more. They both got up in sync, and the list of cheats appeared in front of Aaron.

"Max Strength? Poison Immunity?" Anko asked.

"Life is basically a video game now. Everyone has stats like in a video game." Aaron saw one he thought was interesting.

"Mario Mode? Let's try that." He said. Then he tapped the cheat. A voice announced:

"**MARIO MODE ACTIVATED!**" Suddenly, Aaron and Anko were both bathed in light.

"What the— " They both were cut off by a dinging sound. When the light and sound ended, Aaron was dressed in a red cap with a red M in a circle on it, and a red shirt with blue overalls, and Anko had a little gold crown with three jewels on it on her head, and was wearing a pink gown.

"Why do I look like a fat plumber?" Aaron's eyes went from himself to Anko. When he saw her, his eyes bugged, and he was blown back by a huge nosebleed. Anko looked at him worriedly, but was frozen. He got back up and wiped up the blood.

"You know, with all the perverts like Jiraiya and Ebisu getting so many nosebleeds, I'm surprised they haven't died of blood loss yet." He commented. He wiped up the blood that was on the floor, and went back to the list.

"Let's save Mario Mode for another day." With that, he tapped Mario Mode again, and they went back to normal. Then he touched Anko, and she was unfrozen.

"What happened?" She asked.

"I'll tell you later."

**TROPHY UNLOCKED: TOUR GUIDE**

**Requirements: Stop time and show one person your hax**

**Characters Unlocked: Mario Aaron, Peach Anko**

**Support Character Unlocked: Peach Anko (can give mushrooms to grow exponentially)**

**Anko's friendship rank went up to 10/10**

"Sweet!" Aaron cried out, pumping a fist in the air.

_Unlock Alternate Form?_

"Alternate Form?" He questioned. He tapped "_Yes_".

**SNAKE CHARMER ANKO HAS BEEN UNLOCKED!**

Suddenly, Anko was enveloped in a bright, white glow. When it faded, she was not totally different, but much so. She now had golden hoop earrings, a purple veil over her face, the kind of pants a belly dancer wears, a flute, and was nearly naked.

"What the?..." She scowled at him, then pulled him closer with a smirk on her face.

"If we make it that far, then you can use this." She told him. Then she pecked his cheek and let go of him. He tapped "Turn off Snake Charmer Anko", and she reverted back to normal.

"Ok then...Let's see what's coming up today..." He said.

"What do you mean?"

"This tells me any battles that will happen in the near future." He found the first one for today, titled, "General Warthrax' Siege!" His eyes widened, and he tapped the battle info.

"*mumble*...3,000 men...*mumble*...GENERAL WARTHRAX HIMSELF?" He cried out.

"Who's General Warthrax?"

"The general of the Ageulian army. Now what time is he attacking?" He looked at the information.

"12:00 PM?" He looked at his clock. It read:

"11:59AM?" He shouted. Suddenly, his eyes widened, and he saw a vision of sorts.

_Vision_

_Members of the 3,000 man army charged up to the gates of Konoha. They reached the guards and slashed them to pieces. A battering ram was brought forward, and the gates broke open. Then they raced in, screaming curses in their language. Men and women were slaughtered. Children were crushed._

Before Aaron could see anything else, the vision faded away.

"What's wrong?" Anko asked.

"General Warthrax will be here in one minute." He warned.

**TROPHY UNLOCKED: I CAN GAZE INTO THE FUTURE**

**Forms Unlocked: Kickass Anko, Kickass Aaron**

**Battle Ally Unlocked: Kinkaku the Dragon (requires Kinkaku's Unsealing Scroll to have join)**

"Kinkaku the Dragon?" Anko asked.

"He was Illyon's ally in battle before he was sealed by enemies. Illyon was told only the power of a force known only by the moniker "The Author" could unseal him. Now I now that it's Jinso." Aaron explained.

"I guess I'll have to face Warthrax."

**QUEST: Mortal Combat: ACCEPTED!**

"Okayyyyy, then." Aaron went to the forms list and selected Kickass Anko and Kickass Aaron.

_Change to Kickass Anko? Yes!_

_Change to Kickass Aaron? Yes!_

A white, glowing line traced down both Aaron and Anko. As it passed each bit of their bodies, their forms were changed. Aaron looked like a tribal warrior, and Anko looked like a warrior princess.

"You ready to fight?" He asked Anko. She grinned wolfishly.

"As long as there's blood."

"And trust me, there will be." Aaron assured her.

"But you don't want to taste Ageul blood. It's like dirt and sewage mixed together." She nodded.

"So what can these forms do?"

"Let's check the techniques." He looked at both of their stats.

_**Player 4: Anko Mitarashi**_

_Stats: 40,000 HP 9,001 Chakra_

"My god..." He said.

"What?"

"Your chakra...it's over 9000!" He exclaimed, a random Scouter from DBZ that came out of nowhere breaking under his crushing grip.

**TROPHY UNLOCKED: OVER 9000!**

**Requirements: Recite the famous phrase**

**Rewards: Gallic Gun Attack**

"Ok, then." They resumed back to her stats.

_Skills: Gallic Gun, Special Attack: Black Hole, Special Attack: Fire Cannon, Hidden Shadow Snake Hands, Many Hidden Shadow Snake Hands, Shadow Snake Death Grip, Pervert KO_

"Pervert KO?" She asked.

"Basically you just walk by a guy or girl, and if they're a pervert, they'll get knocked out."

"Oh."

**Player 1: Aaron**(Hiroshi Uchiha) (Prince Alren) (Illyon)

_Stats: 300,000 HP 60,000 Chakra_

_Skills: Soul Beam, God Form, Sword of Truths Mastery, Hax, Time Stop, Falcon Punch, Combo Breaker, Special Attack: Black Hole, Special Attack: Fire Cannon, Gallic Gun_

"Damn, we got it good." Anko said.

"Now let's get ready to fight. The moment I continue time, we're going to teleport in front of the gates. Got it?" He asked. She nodded. Aaron resumed time with Anko still holding onto his arm, and then teleported to the gates of Konoha. Right after he disappeared, his clock changed to 12:00AM.

**Gates**

Kotetsu and Izumo were sitting in the little box things at the gates when the ground started shaking. As far as they could see, troll-like warriors were charging towards them.

"Oh, SHIT!" Izumo said. Suddenly, a man with tribal clothing and a woman with tribal clothing appeared right in front of them.

"Who're you?" Aaron just turned his head towards them and grinned. They were definitely shocked. Suddenly, Aaron stopped time. A list of cheats appeared in front of him as everyone but him, Anko, and Rich froze in place.

"Let's see..." He tapped a bunch of cheats.

**LUCK: MAX**

**DEXTERITY: MAX**

**HP 999,999,999**

**INFINITE CHAKRA**

**TRANSFORMATIONS ALLOWED AT ANY TIME**

**PERSUASION: MAX**

**SWORD OF MAX PWNAGE**

**ALL JUTSU USABLE**

**FLY**

**WALK THROUGH WALLS**

**CHAEMELEON**

_Are all these cheats OK?Yes!_

A sense of being completely 1337 overwhelmed them for a second.

"'Sword of Max Pwnage'? What's that?" Anko asked him.

"You'll see." He clapped his hands. A massive sword appeared in a sheath on his back. The army began charging once more. They both just floated up in the air, with grins on their faces like predators about to devour prey, and flew towards the army. Aaron unsheathed his sword and cleaved one of the Ageul in half.

**TROPHY: FIRST BLOOD DRAWN**

**Requirements: Make the first kill in an extremely hard battle in one shot.**

**Rewards: Key Item: Kinkaku's Unsealing scroll**

A large (read: fuckin' gigantic) scroll appeared in Aaron's hands. He landed farther back, and unraveled it. Then he placed his hand on the parchment, and a seal spread out on it. He placed it on the ground. Suddenly, all commotion stopped as a loud and screeching roar rang out. The seal on the massive scroll glowed, and out of it flew the largest (and only) adult gold dragon they'd ever seen. It flew up into the sky.

"'Sup, Kinkaku?" Aaron asked casually.

"You know of me. You must be Illyon's reincarnation." Kinkaku said in a deep, rumbling voice.

"Sure as hell! Now what say we kick ass and take names?" He asked excitedly. Kinkaku brightened up.

"You know my favorite phrase. I think I'm going to like you." He said with a smirk.

"NOW LET'S PWN SOME MOTHA FUCKIN' NOOBS, BETCHES!" Aaron shouted. He held his hand out. A blue sphere came to life above it. Then, a shuriken-like shape appeared around it. Aaron shouted,

"FILLER MOVE TIME! OODAMA RASENSHURIKEN!" He flung the sphere into the crowd of Ageul. It began spinning rapidly. Suddenly, it grew humungously, and chopped half of the army into pieces. Anko took care of the rest with her Black Hole Special Attack. She would hold her hands out, and a black funnel-like shape would appear in front of her and suck many Ageul into it, causing them to be erased from existence. Finally, General Warthrax stepped out among the dead bodies.

"This is my fight." Aaron said with a predatory look.

"**So, you've decided to still fight against us. No matter, for soon the Ageul shall take control of Ra'Drith!**" Warthrax snarled.

"I have two things to say before we begin," Aaron said.

"**What might they be?**"

"First:" Aaron drew in a deep breath, and began singing.

_U-G-L-Y_

_You ain't got no alibi,_

_YOU UGLY!_

_Uh-huh!_

_YOU UGLY!_

_Uh-huh!_

_U-G-L-Y_

_You ain't got no alibi,_

_YOU UGLY!_

_Uh-huh!_

_YOU UGLY!_

_Uh-huh!_

Everyone, even Jinso himself stared with twitching eyes at what Aaron just did.

**PLATINUM ULTRA GHOST RARE TROPHY UNLOCKED: OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST DID THAT IN PUBLIC...**

**Requirements: Do the Ugly song...IN PUBLIC.**

**Rewards: Level up to lvl 99, Super Saiyan status (takes complete and utter fucking guts to actually perform this! (NOOBY HATERS GONNA HATE!))**

A yellow glow appeared around Aaron as his raven hair pointed towards the sky and turned gold, and his onyx eyes turned teal.

"Lastly, YOUR ASS IS GRASS AND I'M THE MOWER, YA MOTHA FUCKIN' NOOB! I'M TOO 1337 FOR YOUR NOOBISH ASS TO HANDLE, LIKE YOUR MOM'S!" Aaron shouted.

**BRONZE TROPHY UNLOCKED: OH SNAP!**

**Requirements: Do a MAJORLY dissing taunt**

**Rewards: Courage: MAX**

**Character Unlocked: Badass Aaron (must unlock Trophy: OH SNAP! first)**

Everyone gawped at him with twitching eyes once more as he stood in a proud pose while Warthrax fumed.

"**YOU SONOVA—**" He was cut off by a massive jab to the stomach. Warthrax clutched over. Being the size of half of a house, he was still pretty big lurching over like that. Suddenly, he regurgitated a girl with light blonde hair, who was wearing a vest, a jean skort, black tights, and a black and white striped shirt. Aaron helped her up.

"#18, I presume?" He asked. She nodded bewilderedly.

"You're in the wrong anime." With that he teleported her back to the right anime by the right creator.

"Back to business." Aaron said cheerfully. He hopped high in the sky and onto Kinkaku's back.

"Let's do it, Kinkaku."

"I haven't done _it_ in a long time." Kinkaku grinned deviously.

"This will be _most_ amusing." Aaron suddenly turned yellow and melded into Kinkaku's skin. Next, Kinkaku turned completely yellow, making none of his features recognizable. Then, they flew high in the air, and began spiraling and plunging down towards where Warthrax stood.

Three things happened:

Everyone watched in awe.

Light began spinning along with them.

Warthrax pissed his pants so much that the ground was sopping wet.

The spiraling drill of light hit the ground, and a massive explosion occurred. When it stopped, all that was left of Warthrax was a microscopic piece of charred ash.

**QUEST: MORTAL COMBAT: COMPLETE!**

**Rewards: Golden Dragon Ending Attack**

**Anko EXP: + 999,999,999**

**Anko is now level 99**

**Item(s) Gained: Key Item: Inner Demon Key**

"Inner Demon Key?" A big-ass scroll appeared in Aaron's hands after he reappeared next to Anko.

"Damn, that's a big-ass scroll!" He exclaimed.

"Let me check the guide for it." He paused time, and even Anko froze. Suddenly, Rich landed down beside him.

"Dude, what's that scroll, why are there dead bodies everywhere, why is the ground over there charred and burned, and why are you dressed like a tribal warrior?" He asked hurriedly.

"There's dead bodies everywhere because Anko and I killed all these Ageul, the ground is charred because of an epic attack I did with a golden dragon, I'm dressed like a tribal warrior because it's my Kickass form, and the scroll is something called the 'Inner Demon Key'." Aaron's eyes widened after he heard what he had said.

"Oh god..." He whispered.

"What?"

"You know how Naruto had the key to fighting Kyuubi and he used it to gain his Nine-Tailed Chakra Mode?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I have a demon inside of me."

"Why?"

"This looks almost exactly like Kyuubi's Key."

"Oh my god..." Aaron clapped his hands again. Everyone unfroze.

"When did Rich get here?" Anko asked.

"Time stop." Aaron said quickly. She got the message.

"I think I have a demon inside of me..." He then said.

"What? Why?"

"Since I watched the Naruto anime, so far it has gone to a 4th Shinobi World War, and Naruto gains a key to using Kyuubi's chakra." He explained.

"This," He held out the scroll.

"Is the Inner Demon Key. It's a key item for me, so I think I have a demon inside of me." She gawked.

"I need to go into my mindscape. Watch my body." With that, he plunged himself into the depths of his mindscape.

**Aaron's mindscape**

He landed facefirst on hard concrete. If he hadn't been a god, that would have hurt like

"SON OF A BITCH!" Oh wait, it did.

"JINSO, YOU'RE GONNA FUCKIN' PAY FOR THAT!" Aaron shouted, waving his fist at the pseudo-sky.

"**Who dares curse in my presence?**" A low voice called out.

"The person you've been sealed inside of since birth." Aaron said after turning to his left. He was inside some kind of prison. Behind the biggest cell he'd ever seen was a pair of glowing orange eyes.

"**You woke me up from a nap. I'm not pleased.**" Aaron rolled his eyes.

"Well I'm not a pleased waffle-cake either, considering I just landed facefirst on solid-fucking-concrete." The demon laughed heartily.

"**You are the first person to make me laugh in a long time. You interest me. Tell me, have you any special abilities?**" His demon asked.

"Let's see...I am an elf," The demon was surprised.

"I have the power of light," The demon became even more surprised.

"I'm the god of the sun," Fluffy (as I shall call it for now) was shell-shocked as hell.

"And I was given the ability to hack life by the author." Fluffy gawped, though Aaron couldn't see it.

"**You are Illyon, correct?**" Fluffy asked. Aaron nodded proudly.

"**I suppose it is fair you know who I am. Sit down and I shall tell you of myself.**" Aaron complied.

"**You know of the Kyuubi, correct?**"

"I am friends with her."

"**She is my sister.**" Aaron was definitely surprised.

"Funny...She never mentioned a sibling..." He mused.

"**That is because I was sealed long before her, so we lost contact since 21 years ago.**" With that, Fluffy walked out from the shadows to be revealed as an almost exact replica of Kyuubi, but with maroon where Kyuubi's orange fur would be. Then Fluffy shrunk, turning into a woman that looked like Kyuubi, but had with maroon hair with gold highlights at the tips.

"So what is your name?" Aaron asked her.

"My name is Akahana."

"It fits you very well."

"Would you hear my story?" She asked hopefully. He smiled.

"Sure." She drew in a breath.

"My fate was much like my sister's. We both were controlled by a madman, and both went rampant on a village. Only, I was on Ra'Drith, and I had never been sealed inside a human before." Aaron nodded.

"I was sealed by your father," Aaron growled at the mention of that _bastard_.

"The king of your people, and you had been born right at the time. The situation was near the same as my sister's. Nobody else would offer their child and let them be subjected to the cruelty of society. So your father sacrificed you for the greater good. And you know that he went insane, right?" Aaron nodded.

"It was because of this. His child was subjected to cruelty unlike none he had seen, and he could not stop the children from mocking you, nor the people from their attempts of assassination. He could stop the assassinations, but not the people from keeping on trying." Aaron just stared for a moment.

"If you never wish to see me again, I am fine with that." Akahana said, sobbing all the while. Aaron just pulled her closer, and hugged her.

"Why? Why would you not scorn me?" He held her out in front of him.

"Hey, what kind of god of purity would I be if I hated someone for something that wasn't their fault?" He asked jokingly. She just sobbed more and held him closer.

**Player: Aaron has shown kindness to Akahana (Kyuubi's Sister). Unlock alternate form?**

_Yes_

Akahana glowed, and when it disappeared, she had angel wings on her back, nine maroon and gold-tipped fox tails behind her, maroon and gold-tipped fox ears, a halo, and was wearing practically nothing.

'**INNOCENT' AKAHANA FORM UNLOCKED!**

Aaron silently cheered his head off.

"Thank you, Aaron-_sama_ for being so kind to me. I'll do _anything_ to please you." She said lecherously. This author does not know if it was hormones, or just seeing such a hot babe he had to fuck her *gets whacked by sister* DAMMIT, I'M TYPING HERE! :( *sister goes away*, but something just took over in Aaron's mind and the fun began. *gets whacked by sister again* IF YOU DON'T FUCKING STOP THAT, I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD THAT EVEN NARUTO'S ENGLISH DUB COUNTERPART WON'T BE ABLE TO FUCKING _BELIEVE IT_! *sister runs away* THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH! RUN THE FUCK AWAY!

**Thirty minutes later**

Aaron stirred outside of his mindscape, making Anko and Rich look at him questioningly.

"Well?..." Rich asked.

"Well what?"

"Is there a demon inside you?"

"Oh, right! *sheepishly rubs back of head* Yeah, there is. *gets serious* Her name is Akahana and she is Kyuubi's sister."

"KYUUBI HAS A SISTER?" Rich and Anko both cried out at the same time.

"Shh! We don't want the villagers flipping out because of another 'demon that's going to kill us all!'" Aaron told them. They both nodded.

"Now let's go back to the village, and explain this to Tsunade." They agreed and walked back.

_Chapter...END!_

**ENDING AUTHOR'S NOTE ACTIVATED!**

Hey, ya'll! It's Jinso here with the last author's note of Chapter 43! I am updating at 11:03PM, and I am tired as hell, so I'll make this quick!

A/N #1: Whoever can guess first where the "I can Gaze into the Future" reference came from will get to make up a cheat and provide me with a scenario for it!

A/N #2: Whoever got the "Believe it" joke gets a cookie!

A/N #3: I'm a _tired_, but _pleased_ waffle cake!

BAI BAI!

**~Jinso ^3^ V**


	44. The Newest Jinchuriki!

IT'S CHAPTER FOURTY-FOU-OR TIME! CHAPTER FOURTY-FOU-OR TIME!

HALLOOOOOO AGOON! It is, Jinso-sama, the great and powerful deity who controls the story you crave! Nah, just kidding. I do control the story though.

...

So...I herd you like mudkipz...*troll face* FORESHADOW NO JUTSU!

CHEATS AND TROPHIES TO THOSE WHO GIVE ME REVIEWS!

...

_Soooooooo_, here's Chapter 44:

**THE NEWEST JINCHURIKI!**

**Normal POV**

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

Aaron had just explained the whole "I and my best friend have the ability to hack reality" concept to Tsunade, leaving her gawping.

"Wait. How come I didn't get a trophy for helping Akahana?" He asked.

**EHEH...SORRY!** (Aaron facepalmed, as did Rich and Anko while Tsunade cried out "WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?")

**TROPHY UNLOCKED: BEAST OF BURDEN**

**Requirements: Player must help Akahana get over her guilt and unlock her alternate form**

**Support Character(s) Unlocked: Akahana, Innocent Akahana**

**Character: Akahana can be brought into battle in demon form or human form to help!**

**Character: Innocent Akahana can be used to get information via seduction or interrogation!**

"Why did the voice that freaked me out say _demon form_?" Tsunade asked.

"Well..." Aaron then told her the story of how Akahana was Kyuubi's sister, how she got sealed inside him, how he forgave her, that unlocked her alternate form, and all that chiz.

"So...you're like Naruto now?" Tsunade asked.

"Actually, I have been since birth." Tsunade pursed her lips.

"Well, now I'm going to have a hard time explaining to the council and citizens about there being another jinchuriki." She said.

"I think I might be able to help."

*_CLAP!_*

"Let's try...'villagers shut the fuck up until you end a speech'." Aaron said.

_Is this cheat ok? Yes!_

*_CLAP!_*

Everyone was unfrozen.

"What was that?" Tsunade asked.

"I just made it easier to get a word in edgewise with these pain-in-the-_asstrala_ villagers."

"_Asstrala_?"

"Elvish for ass."

"Oh." An awkward silence was there for a few moments, giving birth to a gay baby (DAMMIT!). Then Aaron said,

"Hey Anko, let's try out that form I got after kicking Warthrax' ass."

"Okay!"

*_CLAP!_* Aaron then tapped Badass Aaron.

_Activate Badass Aaron form? Yes!_

Aaron was enveloped in a glow of bright light.

(**UNLOCKED: BGM: BENI SOUBI)**

A glowing line like before traveled down him, changing his shape and form. A black and gold mask which covered his entire head except for his eyes appeared on him. A black and gold chestplate appeared on his torso, and real-world black ninja-style pants appeared on his legs. He was also wearing the kind of shoes real-world ninjas wear, and had the Sword of Truths in the form of a katana sheathed on his back, along with Kinkaku's sealing scroll strapped to him like Naruto had one during his fight with Pein.

"Damn, I look good in any clothes!" He exclaimed.

*_CLAP!_*

Everyone looked at him with wide eyes as they saw the clothes he was wearing.

"This is my Badass form." He told them.

*_CLAP!_*

*_CLAP!_*

Just as quickly as the items had appeared did they vanish off of him, leaving him in his regular clothes.

"Now let's go announce to the town the existence of Kyuubi's sister." So they walked outside and in front of the Hokage Building. Tsunade had ANBU sent out to each of the townspeople, and pretty soon, everyone was gathered. Murmurs of "Why are we here?" and "What's going on?" were all throughout the crowd.

"You're all wondering why you're here in the middle of the day, I'm sure. I have called you all here to tell you that there is another jinchuriki among us." Many people gasped, with Kakashi, Itachi, May, and Jiraiya among them.

"I would like to call them forward. Please step in front of the crowd so that we may see you." Nobody moved. The tension in the air was so thick that you could practically see it. After moments of silence and wondering, Aaron stood up, shocking them all.

"DEMON!" Someone cried out. Aaron showed no emotion.

"No, I am not a demon. You may try to kill me in my sleep, and burn down my home, but know this: If you were to kill me on a one in a million chance, there would be no-one who could save you from impending doom. Your lives could end as quick as a snap of my fingers if I were to die. So know that if you were to kill me, all hope would be lost in fate-of-the-world deciding battles." He said.

"Even if you were to kill me, I would bear no ill will towards you. You would have done what you thought was best, and even though it would have been an utterly wrong decision, I would not punish you from beyond." The crowd was silent and stunned.

**PLATINUM TROPHY EARNED: RISIN' UP, BACK ON THE STREETS**

**Requirements: Earn the respect of most of the villagers**

**Rewards: Aaron social rank: 9.5/10**

**.5 more social points to unlock hidden form!**

The crowd was still silent, having been shell-shocked by the flow of powerful words that escaped his lips. A clap sounded out. Then another. And then another. Soon nearly the entire crowd was clapping and cheering. Those who still thought he and Naruto were demons just went away and sulked in their nooby emo corners. They can't even have a proper emo corner! HOW SAD! Ha! He exited the stage and went home. Then he was pulled straight into his mindscape to talk to Akahana.

**Mindscape**

"So why'd you bring me here?" He asked.

"Well, you know about the Clan Restoration Act, right?"

"Yeah. I also know that it started on Ra'Drith."

"Well...On Ra'Drith, it was said that you would have eight wives minimum if you were a low socially ranked clan, but it you were high up in social hierarchy, you would have at least sixteen. Seeing as how you're higher ranked, it is tradition to have at least sixteen wives." Akahana stated with a blush. He saw that, and was shocked.

"You wish to marry me?" She nodded.

"Fine by me." He said with a smile. She looked up at him, tears welling up in her eyes. Then she glomped him with all of her strength.

"THANK YOU! THANK YOU!" She shouted.

"You are now my second wife."

"Is Anko the first?" He nodded.

"Hansuke told me so." She smiled at him.

"Damn, I gotta have sixteen wives? Let's see where to start..." He wracked his brain for a few minutes.

"Okay...first up..." He telepathically talked to Hansuke.

'_Dude, who's my third wife?_' He asked.

'_Let's see...it's...Samui._'

'_Samui? Thought it would be someone else._'

"So who is it?"

"Apparently it's Samui."

"You could definitely get someone like her." Aaron nodded his agreement. Suddenly, his eyes widened. He received a vision.

_Vision_

_Sasuke was standing in front of the Konoha gates at midnight._

"_Sasuke, please stay here!" Sakura begged._

"_I must avenge my family. The only way I can do that is with power." He said._

'_Isn't this what happened in the series?_' Aaron asked himself.

"_I have to go see the Ageul. They promised me power, and I __will__ get it." Sakura began crying. He began to walk outside. Suddenly, Naruto landed on the ground behind them._

"_Sasuke! What do you think you're doing?" He asked._

"_I'm avenging my clan; what I was meant to do."_

"_Don't do something you're gonna—" Before Naruto could finish his sentence, Sasuke disappeared in a cloud of smoke._

"—_regret..."_

_Vision End_

Aaron focused his vision and cursed.

"SHIT!" He cried out. Aaron stood up.

"What?"

"I have to go. Something major is going to happen." With that, Aaron went out of his mindscape. He looked at his clock.

**12:00AM**

"DOUBLE SHIT!" He cried out. Aaron then teleported to the gates, where Sasuke was just leaving.

"—regret..." Naruto finished. Aaron yelled his head off. A maroon cloak of chakra surrounded him, and made fox ears and a tail. He punched the stone wall of the gates, and cleaved a hole straight through it.

"**FUCK!**" He screamed. Aaron kept punching the wall over and over, practically making it about to crumble. Naruto and Sakura watched as he kept beating the wall. People ran out of their homes to see what was going on.

"Run! The demon is going to kill us!" One man shouted.

"**SHUT UP, YOU FILTHY PIECE OF SHIT!**" Aaron barked. Everyone backed away. Tsunade appeared out of nowhere and ran up to him.

"What happened?" She asked worriedly.

"Sasuke left...again..." Naruto explained. Aaron roared at his brother's name, and disappeared in a flash of light. He reappeared in the forest, at the base of a mountain. He needed something heavy and massive to pound all of his rage into. So he punched the mountain's base, bit by bit, making it slowly shrink down.

**Konoha**

Rich and May joined the crowd and watched as Aaron leveled an entire mountain in five punches.

"Holy shit..." Rich said.

**Forest**

Aaron destroyed the last bit of the mountain, and screamed,

"**SASUKE! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? WHY?**"

**TROPHY UNLOCKED: FIST OF HATRED**

**Requirements: Player must destroy a mountain or something of equal size out of anger for a loved one**

**Rewards: Aaron's Social Rank: 10/10 (BUT FULL OF ANGER)**

**Hidden Form Unlocked!**

_Activate Hidden Form? Yes!_

A bright glow enveloped Aaron completely. It was so bright that not even the Byakugan or Sharingan would be able to see through it. He floated up in the air. Black dragon wings grew out of his back. The Sword of Truths multiplied into two obsidian scythes with gold engraving which hung in an "x" on his back. Gold and obsidian armor appeared all over him, and a black and gold helm shone into reality on his head. Golden glowing sun tattoos appeared on his elbows, his knees, and his back.

**ANGUISH AARON FORM HAS BEEN UNLOCKED!**

He landed on the ground which shook under his awesome power. His face transformed into the snout of a dragon for a second, and he let out a shrieking roar.

His wings started flapping, and he flew back into the city.

"Wh-Who are you?" A citizen cried out.

"**Me? I am Player 1.**" He answered.

_Chapter...END!_

And that is Chapter 44, done in a single day! WOOHOO!

THAT'S A WRAP!

A/N #1: I LIKE PIE! BELIEVE IT! _ Ok, that was just stupid. *shoots self in head and then gets right back up like nothing happened*

A/N #2: It'll be harder for me to get my chapters in with the fact that I get math homework nearly every night, (CURSE YOU MS. NELSON!) so sorry about that!

A/N #3: Again, I'm a pleased, but tired waffle cake.

BAI BAI, YOO GAIS!

**~Jinso**


	45. I've Got to Get Him Back!

CHAPTER 45! HECK YEAH!

Dutchy Puppy: Sorry about not giving you your cookie yet. SO HERE'S TWO! *hands Dutchy two cookies* DERE JOO GOES!

Time for Chapter 45:

**I'VE GOT TO BRING HIM BACK!**

What will happen? Find out now, on

ALL THE BIRDS OF AKATSUKI!

**Normal POV**

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

Anko came running up to Aaron.

"What the?" She cried out.

*_CLAP!_*

*_CLAP!_*

"That's his anguish form."

"Anguish form?"

"It's a form he unlocks after getting the trophy 'Fist of Hatred', which can only be unlocked by leveling a mountain out of anger for someone he loves." Rich explained after looking at his form on the list.

*_CLAP!_*

"Dude, why'd you stop time?"

"**I need to activate some hacks.**" Aaron simply told him.

_All Key Items_

_Irresistability: MAX_

_Infinite Chakra_

_Walkthrough Guidebook_

_Mario Mushrooms x99_

_Are all these hacks okay?_

_Yes!_

A backpack appeared on Aaron's back, and he pulled out a huge black book with the words "Naruto: the Game Walkthrough and Guide" on it in white, blocky text. He flipped through the pages and stopped halfway between the beginning and the middle.

"**Sasuke's going to Kumo. We'll need two years to prepare for rescuing him.**" He told them after scanning the page with his Sharingan.

"Kumo?" Anko asked.

"**Apparently that's where the Ageul have their major base stationed.**"

"So what do we do in those two years?" Rich asked.

"**We train.**" (PLEASE DON'T SUE ME, AKIRA TORIYAMA! (He's the creator of Dragon Ball, DBZ, and Dragon Ball GT))

"What makes you think we can get him back again? I mean, it took a _miracle_—which was you appearing in this world—to make him come back the first time! We'd need _another one_ to make it happen _again_!" Rich shouted.

"**I'm **_**going**_** to get him back.**" Aaron emphasized.

"Are you sure?" Aaron turned back to his regular form.

"Even if it I have to die to get him back, I will." Anko started crying at the idea of his death. He went over to her, and held her up against his chest.

"Don't worry. If I have to hound Hansuke for eternity just to come back to life, I'll do it for you." She smiled up at him.

"Now we're going to train." He turned around.

"I know the perfect place. Follow me." He told them with his head turned in their direction. As he faced his head forward and leaped onto the rooftops, a smirk danced on his face.

**2 Years later**

They all were set to go. Aaron found some new forms which would help him in the two years they trained.

_~Flashback to nine months ago~_

_He was looking at the cheats list while standing outside Ichiraku's Ramen Stand. Hansuke had told him that his fourth wife would be Ayame, and he told Anko what would happen (and she just said, "We'll have lots of teammates in bed...Kukuku...), so he figured "What better time to start on the others than now?"_

'_Damn,' He thought._

'_I'm just one lucky son of a bitch.' Then, he found the cheat he wanted._

_Overprotective father resistance: MAX_

_Is this cheat okay?_

_Yes!_

_He clapped his hands and the world started moving again._

"_I was wondering...would you like to be my fourth wife?" He asked the shocked Ayame._

"_Um..." She stammered with her cheeks a deep red tint._

"_You don't have to answer right now. Tell me when you feel like it. It's okay if you say no." He assured her, trying not to ruin the moment. She blushed even more so, and he said,_

"_Just tell me when you're ready." With that, he disappeared in a flash of light. Teuchi just walked up to her._

"_You're one lucky girl, Ayame-chan." He said with a grin. Aaron reappeared in an alleyway near Ichiraku's._

_**SILVER TROPHY UNLOCKED: SHE IS NUMBER FOUR (GUESS THE REFERENCE AND GET A COOKIE!)**_

_**FORM(s) UNLOCKED: KNIGHT AARON**_

_**SPECIAL ABILITY(s): DRAGON AMULET (CALLS KINKAKU INTO BATTLE AND RIDES ON HIS BACK, LETTING KINKAKU RAIN GOLDEN FIRE ON THE ENEMY, ROASTING THEM ALIVE) **_(Who can guess where the words "Dragon Amulet" are from? If you can, I'll let you create a cheat! (I will reveal the answers at the end of chapter 47!))

_He nodded at Jinso's voice coming from the sky._

'_Hansuke, who's next?'_

'_Let's see...it's...Kurenai.' Aaron was surprised._

'_I'll save that proposal for when the Jounin are out partying. Next?'_

'_Um...Someone named Aaruka.'_

'_Aaruka? There's no Naruto character that I know of with the name Aaruka.'_

'_Really? You should meet her in 3...2...1...'_

_Right as he said 0, a raven-haired woman fell from the sky on landed face-first on the pavement._

"_OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OK?" Aaron cried out. The woman got up with a groan and looked at him. Their eyes widened at the same time. It was like he was looking in a mirror, but seeing a female version of himself._

"_You look just like me..." They both said, pointing a finger at each other._

_**WELL NO SHIT, SHERLOCKS!**_

_Jinso's voice said from the sky._

"_Oh my god, yours is like mine, except it's a guy!" The girl said._

"_Wait...You've met 'The Author' as well?"_

"_Yeah! Me and my best friend Rachel both got the ability to hack life!"_

"_Same here!"_

"_Oh my god!"_

_**IS THIS CHICK-FEST GONNA BE OVER SOON?**_

"_You're just mad because you're a lonely dude with no social life who spends all his free time on the computer like a nerd!" Aaron shouted at him._

_**...**_

"_Ohhhhhh! You just OWNED him!" The lady shouted._

"_PWNED is more like it!" They both high-fived._

_**GOLD TROPHY UNLOCKED:...FUCK YOU...**_

_**Requirements: Diss the author so bad they can't respond**_

_**Rewards: Jinso's Katana**_

_**Description: A powerful katana once owned by the author himself. It is said that this sword can create rifts in the space-time continuum powerful enough to go into the future or past just by slashing the air.**_

_A sheathed golden katana appeared on Aaron's back._

"_Sweet." He said. Then he turned back to the woman._

"_Your name is Aaruka, right?" Aaron asked. She nodded. His expression turned as serious as global warfare._

"_I am reincarnation of the sun, medicine, and prophecy god Illyon, Prince Alren of the Dras'Tharechna clan of the elves, and one of my best friends is the god of the moon, fates, and death. He told me that somehow I would meet you, and you would end up as my fifth wife. Would you accept?" Aaruka's eyes widened._

"_I was told that I would meet someone named Aaron, and he would become my husband. I'm the sun, medicine, and prophecies god__dess__, Illyonna, and one of my best friends is the goddess of the moon, fates, and death. Her name is Hansukana. What is the name of yours?" She asked him._

"_Mine's is Hansuke."_

"_Then I would most definitely accept." Aaron nodded with a smile._

"_I'll be going to rescue my brother in nine months. After I do that, I'll return."_

"_And I'll wait for you." They both kept smiling at each other, to which Jinso went,_

_**EW! MUSHY GUNK! GET A MOVE ON, LADIES!**_

_Aaron scowled up at him._

"_Just for that comment, I get a trophy, and a new form as a reward." He said._

_**LIKE HELL YOU DO!**_

"_I __should__ be getting a reward for my sixth wife!"_

_**YEAH, I GUESS YOU DESERVE THAT...**_

_**SILVER TROPHY UNLOCKED: THE SIXTH PROPOSAL**_

_**FORM(s) UNLOCKED: SUPER COMBAT WARRIOR AARON**_

_**SPECIAL ABILITY(s):**_

_**SUPER RASENGAN (FROM NARUTO SHIPPUDEN 4: THE LOST TOWER)**_

_**PERK: COMMANDO (CAN ONLY BE USED ON THE BATTLEFRONT OF A MAJOR WAR)**_

_Activate New Form? _

_No._

_**NEW FORM HAS BEEN SAVED FOR FUTURE FIRST USE!**_

'_I think I'm going to wait before I try to get anymore wives.' Aaron told Hansuke._

'_Whatever, dude.' He continued with Aaruka._

"_I'll be back for you in nine months."_

"_And of course, I'll wait for you." He hugged her tight, and then set off for the Forest of Death._

_Flashback End!_

The forms in his flashback were just two out of six. He now was in the Uchiha Armory, where he had every piece of armor he and the Uchiha ever owned, and was currently putting some on. He slipped on a black cloth over shirt, black silk ninja pants, leather boots, and a black breastplate with a golden sun emblem on it. He took Jinso's Katana and slipped the brown strap of the sheath over his shoulder, and sheathed the sword in it. Then he strapped on a weapons belt, and stuck two kunai, two shuriken, and two sai into the belt. He walked out of the armory with Itachi, who was dressed in nearly the same clothes as him (the black over shirt and pants), but wore shinobi sandals, and had a weapons pouch on his waist. The two ravens walked to the gates, where everyone else was.

May wore a lavender coat, blue jeans, and had a weapons pouch slung over her shoulder. Two black tonfa stuck out on a belt Aaron had just noticed.

Rich was wearing a black over shirt, blue jeans, and had a sword (which Aaron didn't know why) sheathed on his back.

Anko had a longsword with a green stone on a golden hilt which was wrapped by a piece of metal shaped like a snake. She was wearing a purple kimono with lilies on it, which looked like it could easily conceal a few or more weapons.

Hansuke was wearing clothes identical to Aaron's, except for the fact that they were white and gold instead of black and gold. He was holding a double-edged glaive with blades that elongated into 5-inch shafts, then turned into crescent-like edges. It had the words "Pecalsh ontra thoshen yofura meeretan, anredres malsnay luxion shinralda ontra thoshen yofura lovrellen" inscribed in the language of the gods on the shaft, meaning "Peace on those you meet, and my light shine on those you love."

"Is everyone all set?" Aaron asked. Everyone confirmed that they were. Aaron set his stony gaze on the massive gates.

"Let's head out."

_Chapter...END!_

Like it? Love it? Hate it? Despise it? Tell me! TELL ME! TELL ME OR I SHALL CUT YOUR STOMACH OPEN, RIP YOUR GUTS OUT ONE BY ONE, SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT, AND REPEAT THE PROCESS UNTIL YOU DIE FROM BLOOD LOSS AND HAVE EATEN YOUR INNARDS A THOUSAND TIMES OVER!

...

Just review...

**~Jinso~ ^3^**


	46. The Battle with Sasuke!

IT'S TIME FOR CHAPTER 46! HELLZ YEASH!

Dutchy: You get to create a cheat! Also, I wasn't insisting that you despise my work. I'm sowwy. *hugs Dutchy*

...

Ok, OOC time is over.

On with Chapter 46:

**THE BATTLE WITH SASUKE!**

What will happen?

FIND OUT NOW, ON

ALL THE BIRDS OF AKATSUKI!

*DBZ intro plays*

Who put the wrong theme song in?

...

No response, huh? DAMMIT! Toriyama, please don't sue me.

**Normal POV**

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

They stopped at the gates of Kumogakure.

"Halt! State your business and who you are!" A guard said.

"We are here on an important mission to bring Sasuke Uchiha back to Konoha with us. I am Hiroshi Uchiha," Aaron gestured to Rich.

"That is Rishi Uzumaki," He gestured to May.

"That is May Hyuga," He gestured to Hansuke.

"And this is Hansuke." The guard inspected them for a moment before telling them,

"You may pass." The gates opened, and they walked through. The entire village was like Konoha, except all the houses were Feudal Japanese style. The Raikage's tower stood out in the middle of the village.

"Let's go." Aaron motioned for them to follow. They leaped on top of the houses, and jumped to some random market in town.

"Where would the Ageul be hiding?" Aaron asked, his eyes scanning the market. Then he got an idea.

*clap*

_Ageul Detector_

_Is this cheat okay?_

_Yes!_

*clap*

He suddenly saw a green arrow pointing at a cart filled with what looked like lettuce. Next to it was an old man with a scraggly grey goatee wearing a green headwrap, a yellow robe, and a green vest, who was talking to someone. Aaron walked over to him.

"_Terashle mrae whetre threl Agetuli arnesh._" He commanded in the elven language. The man paled, and his customer backed away.

"W-What?"

"Tell me where the Ageul are." The man scowled.

"**Never.**" He hissed in a deep voice. Aaron lit his fist up and smashed his cart, making the man cry out,

"MY CABBAGES!" (can joo guessh vere he'sh from? ^3^) Everyone stopped and looked at him and Aaron. Rich walked over to him.

"_Dude_! What was _that_ for?" Rich shouted.

"He's one of the Ageul." Rich scowled. Hansuke, having heard what Aaron said, walked up and scowled at the man.

"**Tell us now.**" Hansuke ordered in his god voice. The man started sweating.

"**You will tell us or suffer an eternity in hell being cooked alive like a Thanksgiving turkey!**" Aaron said. The people in the market started backing away, except for one.

"Stop harassing him!" A woman shouted.

"**I suggest you stay out of this, for what this is about is above your universal value.**" He snarled. The woman shut up. Then someone cried out,

"DEMON!" Aaron, Rich, May, Anko, and Hansuke all sweat-dropped.

'_Great, it's just like Konoha._' They all thought unanimously. Aaron looked the man straight in the eyes and activated his elder Sharingan.

'_I haven't had to use __this__ in a while._" He stared straight into the man's eyes and his Sharingan kept spinning, looking like one of those hypnotic spiral things. The man's eyes glazed over.

"**Tell me where the Ageul are stationed.**"

"If you go to the district nearest here, you will find them underneath a stone house that is colored dark green." The man said in a monotone voice. Aaron nodded, then walked away.

*clap*

_All Ageul you talk to forget the conversation_

_Is this cheat okay?_

_Yes!_

*clap*

They found the district the Ageul spoke up and found the dark green stone house.

"Is everyone ready? We're going to have to get Sasuke back, and I'm sure the Ageul have given him some kind of powers or something." Aaron told them. They all nodded, and Aaron punched a hole in the wall. They all walked in, and looked around.

"There should be some kind of switch or something. The Ageul are known for having dungeon master complexes and complicated entranceways." He said. They shifted through books, piles of paper, and looked around and under all the furniture, but couldn't find anything. Suddenly, the floor shattered in the middle of the room, and a glowing form rose up. It turned out to be Sasuke, but he looked very much different. He had red horns growing out of his hair, red bat wings with pale, leathery folds, and he wore a red tunic, black, baggy pants, and a maroon cloak strapped to his shoulders. Everyone drew their weapons, but Aaron held a hand up.

"**So, you've come here to bring me back? It is futile, brother, for I will not stop until I can avenge the clan.**" Sasuke told him in a deep, scratchy voice.

"You _will_ come back with me."

"**Not until I have avenged our clan.**"

"I'll fight you."

"**A god on god death match? You have good taste in your demise.**" Sasuke commented.

"Aaron, are you serious?" Rich asked. Aaron just stared at Sasuke with a determined expression.

"We go outside the city. No one else is to be hurt."

"**Fine by me. Death is the same any way.**" The two teleported themselves—along with everyone else—to a canyon just outside of Kumo. Aaron and Sasuke were both standing on earthen platforms, Aaron on one higher than Sasuke. Everyone else was seated just on the edge on the mass ravine.

Aaron's eyes glowed, and massive dome of light covered the canyon, blocking everyone else out.

"Whaddya think you're doing?" Anko cried out.

"Saving my brother." Aaron replied.

(**BGM activated: What I've Done, Linken Park**)

They both stood in silence, challenging each other with their eyes as the keyboard intro began. Aaron's eyes closed, and he held them like that. Then, when the guitar part began, his eyes sprung open, and he disappeared in a flash of light. He reappeared in front of Sasuke, and his leg connected with his brother's head, sending him flying. As Sasuke flew, the first verse of the song began. Aaron got back into a fighting stance. As Sasuke's head was about to connect with rock, he faded away and reappeared in front of Aaron, holding his hands up. He shot them down, and a beam of black light hit Aaron, sending him backwards in the air. The two then disappeared, and reappeared in mid-air, sending kicks and punches at each other at a speed so fast, only Hansuke could see it. They both suddenly disappeared again.

"Where'd they go?" May asked.

"They're fighting at super speed. Only someone with incredibly good sight could see it happening. That, or someone who's a god." Hansuke told her/everyone. They both reappeared across the canyon from each other, staring into each other's eyes. Then, they both let out a torrent of waves and beams of light at each other, causing massive explosions in the air. Everyone watched in awe and fear of their power. They both stopped, disappeared, and reappeared in the middle of the canyon, across from each other. Aaron stood still, while Sasuke's eyes somehow changed to the Mangekyo Sharingan.

"How did he get the Mangekyo?" Anko cried out.

"**You are probably wondering how I got the Mangekyo Sharingan, brother. When the Ageul gave me the power of their god of war, I didn't have to kill my best friend. I simply had to force them to appear.**" Sasuke announced. Aaron just stayed still.

"**Now, you shall pay for interfering!**"

"**AMATERASU!**" Everyone gasped as black fire rained down upon Aaron.

(**BGM: WHAT I'VE DONE, LINKEN PARK: ENDING**)

As the flames licked his body, a small smile graced his features. Then, the fire engulfed him, leaving nothing left. Anko fell to her knees as hot tears streamed down her face. Hansuke walked over to her, and held a consoling hand on her back.

"He's gone..." Was all she could get out between the choking sobs in her throat and horrible grief that stormed around her heart.

"**That is what you get for trying to stop me in my quest!**" Sasuke shouted. Hansuke, Rich, and May held their heads down in respect. Suddenly, Jinso's voice rang out from the sky.

**HIDDEN ABILITY ACTIVATED: FINAL DRAW!**

That's it for Chapter 46!

A/N #1: I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER!

A/N #2: I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE PIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE! GUESS WHO'S ON A SUGAR-HIGH!

**MUAHAHAHA! I CONTROL YOUR LIVES AT THE TIPS OF MY FINGERS! ***demonic voice* **MUAHAHAHAHA! BOW BEFORE ME!**

**...(awkward silence (GODF***INGDAMMIT!))**

Sorry about that! I was on a temporary spontaneous sugar-high! *rubs back of head sheepishly* SORRY!

BAI BAI, YOO GAIS!

...

I don't think any of you are like Gai. That'd be just plain weird. *shudder*

BAI BAI!

**~Jinso ^3^**


	47. The Battle's End: Hidden Form Unlocked!

HEY, YA'AL! WASSUP? HELLZ YEASH! IT'S CHAPTER 47:

**THE BATTLE'S E****ND****: HIDDEN FORM UNLOCKED!**

Dutchy Puppy: That's a great idea for a cheat! I'm going to use it in this chapter!

YOU READY? 'CUZ HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *room spins wildly and turns to fanfiction*

**Normal POV**

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

_Last time on All the Birds of Akatsuki:_

"_**Now, you shall pay for interfering!**__"_

"_**AMATERASU!**__" Everyone gasped as black fire rained down upon Aaron. _

_(__**BGM: WHAT I'VE DONE, LINKEN PARK: ENDING**__)_

_As the flames licked his body, a small smile graced his features. Then, the fire engulfed him, leaving nothing left. Anko fell to her knees as hot tears streamed down her face. Hansuke walked over to her, and held a consoling hand on her back._

"_He's gone..." Was all she could get out between the choking sobs in her throat and horrible grief that stormed around her heart._

"_**That is what you get for trying to stop me in my quest!**__" Sasuke shouted. Hansuke, Rich, and May held their heads down in respect. _

_Suddenly, Jinso's voice rang out from the sky._

_**HIDDEN ABILITY ACTIVATED: FINAL DRAW!**_

_CONTINUING THE STORY...NOW!_

**ULTIMATE HIDDEN FORM: ARCHANGEL OF LEGEND: ACTIVATED! **

Everyone looked at the fire in shock as four golden, huge, feathery wings spread out amongst the sea of flames. A tornado began swirling around them, and the flames dispersed like smoke. When the typhoon vanished, there stood a whole new person.

(A/N: Try to imagine this with epic music)

He was wearing a golden breastplate with white engravings and figures. A black cloak lay tied to his waistline, with a leather knight's belt keeping it there. Beneath that was a pair of cloth pants which bagged at his ankles. On his feet were sandals which wrapped around his ankles and right below that. Two small silver pauldrons sat on his shoulders. Armor trailed down to his elbows, where they ended in two guards, and cloth continued down and brown gloves were on his hands. A long, flaming broadsword was gripped firmly in his right hand.

"**You would attack your own brother because of power? A shame, Sasuke. I would've thought the power of a god wouldn't have gotten to you just yet.**" Aaron said, shaking his head from side to side.

"_**How**_**?**"Sasuke asked in an astonished voice, starting to back away.

"**How are you still alive?**" Aaron laughed.

"**How am I alive? It may be because I'm a reincarnated god, but it's probably because...I have **_**people**_** and **_**things**_**...people and things that are worth fighting for.**" He told Sasuke.

"**What do you have that is **_**so**_** worth fighting for?**" His brother asked.

"**My friends, the people I love, Itachi, Anko, May, Rich, Hansuke, and also...**" He looked his brother straight in the eyes.

One simple word was all he said.

"**You.**" Sasuke growled.

"**But—**"

"**You are someone I will always fight for; a friend; family; my brother. I will never let you fall into evil's grasp so long as a single breath still exists in my body; so long as there is still one cell in my blood; so long as time lasts, I will fight because of you.**" Aaron said in a solemn voice, his eyes closed, and his mind open to the universe. Then he opened them climactically, and said,

"**Now, not only do I fight for you, I fight with you.**" He held his sword in front of him with one hand.

"**IT ENDS HERE!**" He roared. Then in the blink of an eye, he disappeared, and a golden streak flashed across the canyon, heading towards Sasuke. Somehow, they could faintly make out an olive green book in Aaron's hand.

"_How the __fuck__ did that get there?_" Hansuke asked himself in a hushed voice. The book slammed into Sasuke's face, and he flew backwards, landing on a piece of land on his back. Aaron pocketed the book. Sasuke got right up, and activated the second stage of his curse seal.

"**I'm still here with you, Aaron!**" Akahana said from inside his mindscape. A maroon cloak of chakra surrounded Aaron, and grew a single tail and fox ears. A chidori formed in Sasuke's left hand.

"**Sorry for copying you, Kishimoto...**" Aaron muttered under his breath. He formed a rasengan in his right hand.

"**LET'S GO SASUKE!**" He shouted at his now blue-haired brother. They both flew at each other from where they were standing.

"**CHIDORI!**"

"**RASENGAN!**" The two balls of chakra collided with each other, sending out massive shockwaves of energy which shook the ground and everything within a 100 mile radius. Team Samui landed next to Anko, Rich, May, and Hansuke.

"What's going on he—" They stared with their mouths agape at what was going on. Inside the dome of light, a ball of energy was in between Sasuke and Aaron's hands, as big as a yoga ball. The massive ball of chakra exploded, causing a light to shine out all over the battlefield. Sasuke and Aaron broke apart, and the entire group of rock pillars between them crumbled and fell. Samui stared at Aaron with interest in her eyes. Aaron sped towards Sasuke, and placed his hand on his brother's head. Then he pulled a glowing red figure out of Sasuke's body, and sent it flying into the air. The horns on Sasuke's head disappeared, and he stumbled backwards, falling flat on his bum.

"**Leave my brother alone, Semp'thra!**" Aaron commanded. The figure slowly began to take the form of a young man, maybe twenty years old. He had night-black hair, glowing grey eyes which practically yelled "Anger me, and your life will become hell", and was wearing the same clothes as Sasuke.

"**Why should I?**" He asked.

"**Because if you don't, I will make you burn in the deepest pit in hell!**" Aaron yelled at him. Then Aaron raised his hand and shot out a beam of light, which hit Semp'thra, causing him to wail in agony and vanish.

"Wha—Where am I?" Sasuke asked. Aaron went over and helped him up.

"Glad to see you're back to normal." He said after returning to his normal form.

"Back to normal?" Sasuke questioned.

"Long story." Aaron said quickly. He grabbed his brother, and flew back to where the others were standing. He eyed Team Samui carefully, before taking Samui's hand, getting on one knee, and kissing it, as was the elvish custom when you met a female. Then he did the same with Karui. He walked over to Omoi, and shook his hand.

"You are Team Samui, correct?" He asked. They nodded.

"I look forward to meeting you again." He then simply walked back to the others.

"Let's get back to Konoha." He said. Then they disappeared in a flash of light.

"Who was that?" Omoi asked.

"I don't know, but he's interesting." Karui told him.

"Don't get interested in him! He could be a spy! You could end up going on a date with him, then he stabs you in the back when you're ordering ramen, and he could then leave you to die, making us all mourn for your—" Omoi couldn't finish because Karui bonked him on the head, shouting,

"OH, STOP WORRYING ABOUT EVERYTHING!" Samui just stared at where he had been.

"A date with him..." She trailed in a whispered voice.

**Konoha**

They reappeared right in front of the gates on the inside of Konoha.

**QUEST COMPLETE: SASUKE RETRIEVAL x2!**

**REWARDS: PLAYER CAN CREATE A SPECIAL ITEM WITH ANY EFFECT THEY WANT!**

_Item?_

Aaron thought for a moment.

_Wings of Fate_

**SPECIAL ITEM: WINGS OF FATE: CREATED!**

**DESCRIPTION: GRANTS THE ABILITY OF FLIGHT! IF EQUIPPED ON A PLAYER THAT HAS THE ABILITIES "THE GATES OF DESTINY" and "THE KEY TO LUCK" USED ON THEM, THEY CAN UNLOCK A HIDDEN FORM!**

"Wow. That's pretty awesome." Rich commented after seeing Aaron pull a set of four golden wings out of his backpack. Aaron nodded.

"What was that book you were holding?" May asked. Aaron pulled it out of his pocket. It had strange and arcane runes on the front, and the title was in an unknown language.

"This is 'The Elvish Book of Morals'. The elves use it to remind others of what is right and what is wrong, and those who touch it understand the values of morals." He explained. Everyone but Anko kept nodding. Aaron walked over to her.

"Anko? You alright?" She was staring at some dude across the road. He was scowling at Aaron.

"What? You got a beef with me?" Aaron said, throwing his hands up. The dude disappeared and reappeared in front of him.

"Frankly, I do, _Uchiha Hiroshi_. You stole my girlfriend from me." The man hissed.

"WTF is with you? I didn't _steal_ Anko. She willingly became my girlfriend." Aaron said in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Then if she did, the **S**uper **P**issed **E**xes **R**eady to **M**aim will see you in battle starting tomorrow!" He said. The man then disappeared.

"Anko..." Aaron said skeptically.

"Who was that?" Anko sighed.

"That was one of my eleven evil and maniacal exes: Kajo." She said.

"You had _eleven _exes?" Aaron asked.

"Yes, I did. The reason I broke up with them all was because, A) I hadn't met you, and B) they were either mean, distantly cold, or just too plain fucked-up for my taste." Anko explained.

"Ok. So why did that dude challenge me to battle?" He then asked.

"Because, they spite everyone I try to date, and challenge them to a death match against each of them at a time for me. They think I'm some kind of prize or shit like that."

"Well that's stupid."

"Believe me, I HATE it."

"So why do they think they can beat me?"

"They all have mystical powers and shit like that."

"Oh. Well we'll just kick their asses, 'cuz nobody messes with Hiroshi Uchiha and Anko Mitarashi!" Aaron announced, pumping a fist in the air.

"Well then, _I_ will see you tomorrow, _strong guy_." Anko said before planting a kiss on his cheek. He kissed her back, and she headed round a corner.

"Ah, love is just wonderful." Aaron said. Suddenly, they heard Anko's voice in the form of a scream.

"Shit!" Aaron cried out. They all ran around the corner to see Anko on the ground with her clothing nearly torn off and a man getting his you-know-what out from his pants.

"You're gonna love this, baby." The guy said. Anko just screamed again. Aaron started seething. Then he grew a predatory grin.

"Hey Rich, I think you can help me with this one. There's a special cheat I want to try out." Aaron told him. Rich grew a grin very similar to Aaron's.

*clap*

_Avatar State_

_Is this cheat okay?_

_Yes!_

Aaron and Rich's eyes glowed.

*clap*

They both disappeared and reappeared next to the rapist. Aaron lifted both of his arms, and two giant boulders broke out of the ground while fire surrounded Rich's hands.

"Hey! Back away from her NOW!" Aaron barked. The man turned to him with a grin.

"And what are you going to do if I don't?" He asked. Aaron smirked maniacally. He raised his hand, which made one of the boulders float up, and he brought it down, crushing the man underneath it in a cartoon fashion. The man was protruding from the ground like a post when Aaron brought the boulder back up, with cartoon stars swirling around his head. He was cross-eyed and babbling, but he shook his head and his eyes widened. Rich then flew over, pulled the man out by his head, and threw him on the ground. Then he pointed his hand towards the rapist. A torrent of flames burst from his hand, aimed directly at the guy's family jewels. He let out a howl as fire burned the most precious thing in his life to a fine crisp.

"Whoops. I was going to say that we were going to burn your balls off, but it looks like Rich got a little bit hasty!" Aaron said. The man got up and ran away, not caring that blood was gushing from where his holy artifact once was. Anko ran over to Aaron with tears in her wide eyes and hugged him tightly, shaking like a little child who thought they had seen a monster, and not caring that she was almost naked. Aaron was whispering sweet nothings into her ear and holding her close, assuring her that everything would be alright. She just let tear after tear fall from her face, letting them hit the ground with soft plinks.

"Come on, Anko, you can stay with me tonight." He said. She hugged him tighter, and the two transported to Aaron's house. Rich, Hansuke, Sasuke, and May all stared for a moment before Rich said,

"Well, that's enough pwnage for tonight." And promptly went home before the others followed suit.

**Aaron's House**

Aaron climbed into his bed and got comfortable underneath the covers. They tugged a little, and he felt a gentle form press against him. He just wrapped his arms around it, smiled, and sighed contently as he drifted into slumberland with Anko in his arms.

_Chapter...END!_

Did joo like it? I KNOW _I_ DID!

Reference Answers:

I CAN GAZE INTO THE FUTURE: That's so Raven, Disney Channel

SHE IS NUMBER FOUR: Movie: I am Number Four

MY CABBAGES!: Avatar the Last Airbender: Cabbage Merchant

That's all for now!

Prepare for Chapter 48:

**Pein vs Konoha: the Struggle for Power!**

LAST NOTE (**VERY IMPORTANT!**): I will not be on my computer for a month. Reason: I've been sucking at Math and have a B, so my parents have decided to cut me off from tv and my computer for a month. Although, if I get my grade to an A, and maintain it for three weeks (WTF?), I will get my computer and TV back early, so cross your fingers! :( I don't get to be on my computer for a month...SADNESS... :'''(

**ONE LAST, _LAST_ THING: **I am going to try to sneak my computer and type whenever I can (mainly weekends and before my mom gets home every day) so I can get the chapters out faster. Cross your fingers again! :)

SEE YA NEXT TIME!

**~Jinso ^3^**


	48. Pein vs Konoha: the Struggle for Power!

'SUP DOOOOOOOOOOODS? YOO READAAAAAAAAAY? HELLZ YEAH! ACTIVATE INTERLOCKS! FORM TITLE AND HEADINGS! FORM WORDS AND AUTHOR'S NOTES! **LET'S GO, FAN-FIC-TION!** (reference, anyone? *trollface*)

Prepare for Chapter 48:

**PEIN VS KONOHA: THE STRUGGLE FOR POWER!**

**Normal POV**

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

A large earthquake made Aaron fall out of bed with a cry. Anko sat right up and asked,

"What's going on?"

"I don't know." Aaron said, rubbing his sore cranium.

"Some kind of earthquake." His door was suddenly kicked open by an ANBU wearing a bear mask.

"The Akatsuki Leader is attacking! Lady Tsunade is ordering all shinobi to mobilize!" They said. The ANBU appeared to be a man by the sound of their voice. Aaron got right up.

"Pein's attacking?" He cried out. Pein wasn't supposed to attack for a **long** time! He helped Anko get off the bed.

"We're going. Thanks for telling us." He said. The ANBU nodded and ran back outside. Aaron changed into his Archangel form.

"Anko, this might sting." He said. His eyes glowed and two orbs of light appeared in his palms. He put both of his hands on Anko, and a bright light blanketed the room as Anko cried out. When it faded, she was changed. She was wearing a tribal crown on her head, a beaded necklace, a brown vest-like piece of clothing with a green breastplate over it, which had a symbol like two wings with a snake around each, and a brown, tasseled, long skirt. On her feet was a pair of brown sandal-like shinobi sandals. The only thing subtly different was her ears. They were now like Aaron's.

"Is this a new form or something?" She asked, looking over herself. Aaron smiled.

"Nope. It's exactly what I thought." He said.

"What did you think?"

"Well...I'd need to tell you a quick backstory."

"Go ahead." He drew in a breath.

"Ok, you see, you remember how I first took down Hansuke, or, Cryptus, as he was back then?" She nodded.

"Well..."

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FEAR THE LINE OF FLASHBACKS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

He was standing in front of Satan himself, trying to argue about something.

"**No, I will not let you go to heaven for a day or two.**" Satan said, folding his arms.

"Aw come on!" Aaron shouted, throwing his hands up. Then he got a devious grin.

"Ok, but if you don't, then I guess I'll have no choice but to tell Kami-chan, and you know what happened the last time someone _pissed her off_." He said, folding his arms on his chest. Satan's beady yellow eyes grew as big as grapefruits.

"**DON'T TELL HER! **_**PLEASE**_** DON'T TELL HER!**" He begged.

"Only if you let me go to heaven for a few days." Aaron told him.

"**Alright, alright!**" Aaron nodded.

"See ya in a few days." With that, he was enveloped in a column of light, and he disappeared. Aaron reappeared in front of Kami's house. She came running out.

"Aaron? Why are you here?" Kami asked.

"I want to look something important up, and I bargained with Satan to let me come here for a few days."

"What do you want to look up?"

"I noticed something strange in Anko's energy, and I want to check out her parents' past." She gave a questioning look.

"If I'm gonna be here for a while, I might as well make use of my time." Aaron said. Kami nodded.

"Well then, follow me." He walked with her inside her house and to her room. She picked up some type of glowing object off of her bed.

"What's that?" Aaron asked, pointing to the thing in her hand. She turned around, revealing it to be a glowing newspaper.

"A newspaper?"

"Not just _any_ newspaper. This newspaper can tell you everything about someone in the form of a headline article."

"Cool." Kami whispered something right in front of the picture, and a headline and article appeared on the cover. She handed him the newspaper. Aaron looked at the headline, and then the picture. What he saw shocked him. He saw a picture of Anko's parents, which would've looked normal except for one thing: Her parents had elf ears.

"Anko's were _elves_?" He asked. Kami looked over his shoulder.

"Wow, I never would've suspected that." She commented. Kami took the newspaper back and whispered something new in front of the picture. The picture, headline, and text changed, and he looked again. There was a picture of Anko this time, so he read the text that talked about her.

"*mumble*...Orochimaru's apprentice...already knew that...*mumble*...born on..." He stopped as his eyes widened.

"Born on what?" Kami asked. Aaron mumbled something.

"What?"

"_Ra'drith_..." He whispered.

"She's an elf?" Kami cried out. Aaron's expression grew solemn.

"I need to go speak with my _subordinate_." He said. He then teleported out of her house. Aaron reappeared right behind a certain blue-haired boy who was sitting down and looking through a hole in the clouds. Aaron's form grew and turned black, and a yellow glint appeared over his left eye.

"_Fate_..." He said in a warning tone. Fate turned around with a frightened expression. Aaron turned back to normal.

"Why did you keep from me the fact that my _girlfriend_ is an _elf_?"

"I didn't think it important to tell you before and...I was kind of...busy..." Fate told him, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

"Doing _what_, exactly?"

"Well..." Aaron sighed.

"You were trying to get Luck to go on a date with you, weren't you?" He asked with a facepalm. The bluenette rubbed his head again.

"Yeah..."

"That's fine and all if you do that, but getting information to me and Hansuke is above all else."

"Yes, sir..." Aaron knelt down to come face to face with Fate.

"I understand how love works, and it's fine if you try to woo the girl you like. You never know, she could like you back." Aaron said with an amused smile and a twinkle in his eye. Fate perked up.

"Really?"

"_Maybe_..." He told him. Aaron stood back up.

"But I'd have to check with Shintaja first." He added with a wink.

"Now," He began, growing a serious expression.

"Is there anything else you haven't told me? If there is, you need to tell me now." Fate nodded, and stood up. Then he leaned in close to Aaron's ear, and whispered something. Aaron's eyes widened, and he nodded.

"Thank you for telling me." Then he just walked off.

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YOU CAN STOP FEARING THE LINE NOW~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_ "You saw the flashback, right?" Aaron asked her. She nodded with an amazed look.

"I'm...an elf?..." Anko asked. Aaron nodded.

"So why do I look like this? From what you told me, when you got changed, you kept the same clothes on."

"The thing is, the thing Fate whispered to me...is who you really are."

"Who I really am?"

"In the elven culture, whenever a god or goddess dies, they are reincarnated as a special child."

"So?"

"You are one of those special children."

"Really?" He nodded.

"You know how you can summon snakes, and that you had the curse seal?"

"Yeah?"

"Those are proof of what goddess you are. Each reincarnated god has a special ability about them. Some have a mark, or can do certain things. Some of them are more special than others."

"I'm a goddess?"

"You have a natural friendship with snakes, and the curse seal was a special mark."

"A special mark?"

"Not to be curt, but you ask too many questions. Just listen for a while. It saves your energy, and you can learn more." He commented. She nodded.

"There are 50 elven gods and 60 elven goddesses. Of the major goddesses, there is Shintaja, the goddess of love and peace, Kenmeinajosei (pronounced Ken-may-eena-joh-say), the goddess of wisdom, daughter of Kangae, the god of thoughts, and bride of Ronritekinaotoko (pronounced Rhone-ree-teckeena-oh-toh-koh), the god of logic, Mizubi, the goddess of the sea and all sea creatures, and bride of Tsukiotoko, or really Hansuke, Ischeranka, the goddess of snakes and the sky, and bride of Illyon, Tsumatohahaoya (pronounced Sooma-toh-huh-how-yuh), the goddess of childbirth and marriage, and bride of Iegara, the god of parentage, and Kasaibi, the goddess of fire, and bride of Hakai, the god of destruction and explosions." Aaron told her.

"Since you have a friendship with snakes, who would you assume you are?"" He then asked. Anko put a finger to her chin.

"Ummm...Ischeranka?" She asked. He nodded.

"Now we've got to hurry. I need you to inform everyone about Pein's abilities." Aaron said.

"But we don't know what he can do." She told him. He grinned.

"You guys might not, but Rich, May, and I do." Anko's eyes widened. Aaron's grin disappeared.

"The one you normally see can manipulate gravity to pull things toward him or push them away. The one who's bald except for four spikes coming out of his head is practically a robot. He can shoot missiles, has a blade that comes out of his back, and is really hard to defeat. The path that has long hair can search peoples' minds for information just by placing his hand on them, and can kill them by removing their souls. The only female can summon animals. The path with spiky hair and spikes coming out of his ears can interrogate people and resurrect dead paths. The last one who has slicked back hair and a ponytail can suck chakra (XD). He summons the Outer Path, and can force people to tell him information. If they lie, he kills them." She nodded, showing she understood his information.

"So how do I tell them?"

"Since you are a god, and have much power, you can teleport. Just focus your energy, or, chakra, and imagine where you want to go." She nodded and closed her eyes. Then she flashed for a moment, and finally vanished. Aaron smiled.

"Now I know we can be together." He said. Then he teleported to the Hokage Tower.

**Hokage Tower**

"Pein! Why are you doing this?" Tsunade asked the piercing-covered corpse, who stood across from her. Beside Tsunade were two ANBU; Yugao Uzuki, and one with a dragon mask.

"We need the Kyuubi jinchuriki. If you lose him, you all will finally understand true pain." Pein said emotionlessly.

"Lady Tsunade!" Anko's voice called out. Tsunade turned around to see Anko running up to her, wearing some kind of weird tribal outift.

"What is it, Anko?"

"Aaron told me all of the paths' abilities!" The Deva Path's eyes widened.

"Multiple 'paths'? What do you mean by 'paths'?"

"Pein has six different bodies!" Pein held his hand out angrily.

"Shinra Tensei!" He shouted. A shockwave launched Anko off of the ground and sent her flying into a wall.

"Anko!" Anko groaned, got up, and dusted herself off.

"I'm alright." The Deva Path's eyes widened more.

"How could you survive that?" He asked. Anko grinned sadistically.

"Let's just say I've got some _newfound strength_." Pein stared.

"That will not be a problem." He said. Anko turned back to Tsunade.

"This path can manipulate gravity to push or pull anything." She said. Suddenly, four "POOF!"'s were heard above them. They looked up, and saw the other five paths dropping down.

"Those are the other five paths of Pein. One is a machine, one can collect information and remove souls, one can resurrect the dead and interrogate, one can summon the paths and creatures, and one can absorb chakra." All the paths' eyes widened.

"You know too much. Now you must suffer." The Deva Path said. The Asura Path grabbed him and the others one by one, and threw them in the air high above the village, jumping up after them. Aaron appeared right next to Anko.

"Shit!" He yelled.

"I'm too late!"

"What?" She asked.

"He's gonna destroy the village!" Tsunade and Anko's eyes widened. Tsunade was prepared to use the Mitotic Regeneration, but Aaron stopped her.

"I can protect the people from Pein's attack, but the village will fall and that'll be all I can protect them from." He told them. Aaron held his hands in what looked like a combination of the tiger and dog seals. All around, a shield of light appeared around every person. Aaron let a groan escape his lips, and fell to his knees.

"Aaron!" Anko shouted. He stood up shakily and turned around.

"I'll be alright. It's taken a lot of my energy lately to do everything I have." Aaron said with a grimacing smile.

"ALMIGHTY PUSH!" The Deva Path's voice shouted. Everyone looked up as an invisible shockwave brought every building down to the ground as the earth rumbled and shook like a Cyclops' stomach after 5 alarm chili. Aaron heard Anko cry out, and turned around to see her on the ground in pain, with a large piece of the Hokage Tower falling towards her.

"ANKO!" He shouted. Aaron tried to run towards her, his fear making him forget that he could teleport. But he was too late. The remains crumbled as they landed on Anko, completely covering her in a thick blanket of stone. Aaron made all the bricks and stones fly away with a hard flick of his wrist. She was laying on the ground, blood seeping from the corners of her mouth. He fell to his knees.

"Aaron..." She said with faint eyes.

"Anko..." Was all he could get out, tears welling up in his eyes.

"You know...*cough*...I thought my life was horrible...before you came..." She told him.

"Please...Stay with me..." Aaron begged, the teardrops now flying down his angular face.

"You were the greatest person...*cough* that I ever met..."

"Anko..." He could barely get any words past the massive lump in his throat.

"You showed me kindness...when nearly all the village hated me..."

"Please..."

"You were the first person...who truly loved me..."

"_Please_..."

"But now, I guess...*cough*...I can't repay what you gave me..."

"Anko, no..."

"Looks like...we might not be together...after all..." Anko said with a sad smile.

"Please..."

"See ya...in a while...Aaron..." Her gaze turned unfocused, and she lay still amongst the rubble.

"ANKO!" He screamed as he leaned over his lost love. All of his friends turned in his direction, knowing he had just lost one of the only things that gave his life purpose. Aaron kept sobbing as the paths returned to the ground.

"Now?" Pein asked.

"Now do you understand _true_ pain?" Aaron got up without a sound, not even bothering to look at Pein. Everyone was silent as they waited for his response. What they got was unexpected. A demented laugh rippled through the village. Everyone looked in Aaron's direction in fear, save for Pein. Aaron laughed more, sounding as crazy as if he was in a straitjacket. He turned around to face them, a manic and fiere look in his eyes.

"You think _I_ don't know true pain? I, the man who slew his _father_ and _best friend_ to save a world with so many people who deserved to _die_, don't know true pain?" He asked. Pein stared.

"You may be here for Naruto, but there's something you don't know." Pein's eyes widened.

"I'll sing you a little song." Aaron told him with a demented, feral, and evil grin.

**BGM ACTIVATED: AARON'S REVENGE** (**bold and underlined text = Aaron's singing**)

**My life,**

**It's been some kind of hell;**

An invisible shockwave shot out from Aaron as he sung.

**I've lost my mother,**

Another invisible shockwave burst from him. A ball of energy began building at his chest.

**My father,**

Yet another intangible wave blew from the mighty elf.

**And nearly my entire race.**

The energy ball was as big as a melon as yet another pulse echoed.

**Now I've lost the one I love,**

Thunder clapped and lightning appeared in the black sky above.

**And I'm going to take my VENGANCE!**

A massive shockwave blew everyone back.

**SO HEAR ME WHEN I SAY:**

He began glowing.

_**KYUUBI RELEASE**_**!**

_Chapter...END!_

I finally got this chapter in after much typing and thinking! I hope you liked it!

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? WILL AARON GET HIS REVENGE? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER 49:

**SAVE THE DAY, AARON!; THE WARRIOR AWAKENS!**

SEE YA L8A!

**~Jinso ^3^**


	49. Save the Day, Aaron! A Warrior Awakens!

HEY'OOOOOOO! IT IS TIME FOR CHAPTER 49! LET'S GIT IT OOOOOOOOOON!

Get ready, 'cuz it is time for Chapter 49:

**SAVE THE DAY, AARON!; A WARRIOR AWAKENS!**

**Normal POV**

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

Aaron slammed his hands together and crushed the ball of energy at his chest between them in a tiger hand seal, his entire body glowing red. Everyone's eyes widened like hell as he threw his arms out and released a battle cry. His entire body was covered in maroon chakra as he entered his **8 Tailed Form**. Somehow, though, he kept his personality.

**BGM ACTIVATED: 3****RD**** VERSE OF NEW DIVIDE, LINKEN PARK**

"**You may think you are a **_**god**_**, **_**Pein**_**, but how would you fare against a **_**real**_** god?**" Aaron asked him. As he spoke, tendrils of wind flew through the area, making his hair and chakra tails whip about.

"**They say in the elven culture that one day, a hero will be born amongst the ranks of children, and they will grow to assume a great destiny.**" The winds picked up. Everyone watched as the conversation happened.

"**But before they can assume that destiny, they will face tragedies and battles which will plague their mind and soul, battles which they **_**must**_** overcome.**" The winds began to go at speeds similar to an F0 tornado.

"**And you know, I had to face some pretty hard stuff.**" Everyone kept silent.

"**The first challenge, they said, was that they would have to win the heart of the person they loved.**

**After, one of the hero's comrades would be hurt, and they would kill the one who hurt him; an easy decision.**

**Next, the hero would defeat the general of their enemy's army after .**

**The next challenge was that they would face a comrade in a major battle, one of fate and death.**

**Then, they would slay a traitor within their own family.**

**The next obstacle was rescuing their love from new enemies.**

**Then they would find a demon inside them, but they would learn that the demon was sorry and loved them.**"

"**The last challenge, the legends say, would be the loss of the person whom they loved the most.**" Their eyes widened as they realized what he meant, except for the demon loving him part.

"**Finally, the hero would utter an ancient phrase of power in the form of a song taught to all elf children when they come of the elvish age of sixteen, which would be the human age of nineteen.**" Aaron raised his arms above him, and began to chant as the sound of an electric guitar playing appeared in the background and the BGM ended.

**Hear my cry,**

**Spirits of ancient times!**

**I have faced the challenges!**

**Give me power as the clock chimes,**

**And let my enemies face the consequences!**

He began to glow, and started chanting in an ancient and foreboding language.

**Hum na'thra!**

**Skul fed'ra!**

**Lren nu fdesh ka da!**

The winds picked up, and he glowed brighter. The sky began buzzing with lightning and energy.

**My journey is near complete,**

**So grant it to me today!**

**Hear me speak and wake me**

**When I say:**

**AWAKEN, LEGENDARY WARRIOR!**

A massive column of light struck down from the heavens and surrounded him. The village and the Paths watched in fear and awe as silver light shone. The column burst apart, and little dots of multicolored light, just like snowflakes, fluttered down, giving a colorful glow to the new man that stood there with his head held to the ground. His hair was like a lion's mane, but a glittering argent in color, and lustrous like a shining pearl. Within it were streaks of the oddest colors in a combination with silver. There were patches of wood mahogany, fire orange, ocean blue, and forest green. He had eight maroon fox tails flittering behind him, and a massive sheath was on his back.

"**Now you see why I've borne the pain and suffering. I knew that I was the one since I met my tenant, and that I would lose Anko. I feared for her, and tried to think of ways I could avert her death. But as time passed, I knew that what the ancients of my race foretold could not be avoided, so I came to accept it. The fact saddened my fragile heart. But now that I know my capabilities, there is no need to be sad,**" Aaron said. He raised his face to reveal a happy and bloodthirsty grin.

"**BECAUSE I CAN GET REVENGE!**" Aaron slammed his hands together and made at least 100 hand seals, maybe about 500. Then he chanted softly in a language, telling fantasies of healing the wounded and restoring love. All around, any dead bodies of civilians and shinobi started glimmering. Their comrades and families watched in awe as the dead sat up, blinked a couple of times, then cried at the thought that they nearly were gone forever. Anko sat up amongst the remains of the Hokage Tower, and stared at Aaron with big eyes.

"Tsunade-sama, who is that?" She asked quietly. Tsunade gave a warm smile.

"_That_...is your boyfriend." She replied. Anko just looked with her mouth agape at the scene before her.

"**Now, **_**Nagato**_**, let us see if you can stand against a **_**real**_** god.**" Pein stared, but his eyes widened in fear as Aaron smirked and disappeared. The Paths looked around in craze. Aaron reappeared behind the Preta Path and decapitated it with his fist. Then he drew a massive longsword as the Asura Path charged. He flew at it with his elbow out. Skin and machine collided, smashing one of the Asura Path's faces in. Then he slashed in great multitude about the Path's body, tearing off ribbons of skin from the corpse, and breaking it apart.

"**Am I too much for **_**God**_**, **_**Nagato**_**?**" Aaron asked with a sneer. The Animal Path was next. She summoned a giant chameleon with Rinnegan eyes. Aaron formed the seals and summoned Tasogare.

"**Feel the power of the clan of wolves!**" He shouted. Tasogare and the chameleon raced toward each other. Tasogare snapped the creature up in his jaws and it puffed into smoke. Aaron then summoned two shadow clones and they began pumping chakra into the palm of his hand. Suddenly, Rich and May landed nearby, ready for battle. Aaron's head turned to grin at them. They saw what he was doing and grinned back.

"You can do it, Aaron!" May shouted. The little theme that plays in a major moment in Naruto and Naruto Shippuden with the flute and the buh buh-buh-buh buh buh buh-buh-buh began playing. (Anyone know what I'm talking about is called? I sure as hell don't.)

"_**RASENSHURIKEN: NARUTO STYLE, BITCH!**_" He said. A rasenshuriken formed in his hand. He spun around and flung it as his shadow clones disappeared. The Deva Path held his hand out.

"SHINRA TENSEI!" The invisible wave pushed the rasenshuriken back towards him, making it look like it was going to cleave Aaron's head off. People gasped as it did exactly that. Aaron's head slid off his body and fell on the ground with a pained look on his face. Pein looked satisfied, but gawped as the "POOF!" of smoke was heard and Aaron was seen standing on top of a pile of rubble, laughing.

"**Really, Nagato? A shadow clone beat two of your Paths in two moves? Tsk, tsk, tsk.**" Aaron said with a grin. Pein was shell-shocked as he saw that that had been a single FRICKEN SHADOW CLONE.

'WHAT THE FUCK?' He thought, fighting the urge to shout that at the top of his lungs as an explosion occurred behind him while he screamed "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" (YAY, IT'S A REFERENCE! *epic-face*) Aaron put his arms to his sides and yelled an unintelligible word in his native language. A swirling black vortex appeared behind the remaining Paths.

"**Now prepare, **_**Nagato**_**, as your only weapons are cast in oblivion!**" Aaron said. The Paths tried to run, but one by one, they were sucked in and cast across the universe into nonexistence. Aaron slammed his hands together and the portal closed. Aaron closed his eyes, and rotated his arms with his hands flat in the air so the went like a counter clock and stopped at his midsection. He breathed in slightly, and sighed. Then Aaron opened his eyes, but did not smile. Anko got up and ran to him.

"Aaron! You did it!" She exclaimed, an exuberant smile on her face.

"But why did you call him _Nagato_?"

"**It is not over yet. The original Pein, Nagato of Amegakure was controlling them.**"

"So?"

"**I still have to find him**."

"But—" He smiled at her sweetly, making her stop her sentence.

"**I promise I'll be back.**" Aaron told her. She hugged him and said,

"You better, otherwise I'll have no one to torture." They both laughed, and Tsunade stared at them in confusion.

"Torture? I thought you loved each other." She said. Aaron and Anko both laughed again, and Aaron put his arm around Anko's shoulders.

"**It's an inside joke.**" He said. Then he grew serious again.

"**Be back in a while.**" With that, he disappeared.

"Why do I have the feeling I'll be competing for him, or something like that?" Anko asked after a few moments of silence.

"Foreshadowing, it's a mysterious thing." Tsunade said with a shake of her head or two.

**Forest**

Aaron appeared right in front of the tree Pein had been in during Naruto Shippuden.

"**Nagato!**" Aaron shouted.

"**I know you're in there!**" There was silence. Aaron waited for a few moments, then scowled. He ran towards the tree, and kicked a hole in the paper bark, landing inside.

"So, you're finally here." Nagato's voice said. Aaron looked to see Nagato in his weird machine and Konan standing beside him.

"**Yeah, I'm here. Now why are you attacking Konoha?**" Aaron asked.

"Simple. I wish to let the world know true suffering, and I'm starting with the Hidden Leaf Village."

"**That is so stupid. Just because you suffered, it doesn't mean you had to go emo and plot to make the entire world feel what you felt!**" He said. Nagato felt a tick mark appear on his forehead when Aaron called him emo.

"God commands it; therefore it has to be done." Konan said.

"**Seriously, you think he is God? Even when **_**God**_** is standing right in front of you?**"

"He is God, no matter what you may believe." Aaron was silent for a bit, seeming to be judging them.

"**Let us stay neutral for a moment or two.**"

"Might I ask why?" Nagato questioned.

"**I wish to show you something.**" He held out his hand, and pulled a small glob of water out of the ground with his energy. It splashed down and turned into a puddle, and Aaron whispered something. The puddle shimmered, and revealed an image of a woman and two kids gathered around a gravestone, all sobbing and crying.

"Look and see a suffering this family has had because of war and greed." The image zoomed in, and there, leaning against the gravestone, was a scroll with an ink picture of a man, who was smiling like everything was great.

"These children have lost their father, and a wife has lost her spouse, and he was not even a shinobi. He was a simple farmer, who was killed by thieves who wanted his money and possessions, which he did not give up." The puddle shimmered to reveal an image of Anko in the past, standing in a destroyed village.

"Anko lost her parents because Orochimaru killed them in his power craze." It then changed to Itachi on the night of the massacre, his katana covered in the blood of his parents.

"My brother had to kill most of his clan because Danzo Shimura ordered him to, and he was loyal as an ANBU." The image faded and the puddle returned to Aaron's reflection.

"Many people have suffered, like you. So why would you cause them even more when it would do nothing but ruin their lives?" He asked Nagato. For once, the leader of Amegakure was speechless. He used to think nobody had suffered the way he did.

"I..."

"Do not cause more suffering. In a world of quick deaths and pain, it is not ever needed." Aaron said, closing his eyes. Nagato stayed silent.

"What you should do is to relish what you have. You have a city full of people who are loyal to you, and you have someone who likes you, and not many people have someone as beautiful and..." Choosing his words carefully, Aaron added,

"...exquisite..."

"...as Konan." He finished, adding a wink. Konan semi-blushed. Aaron turned to leave. But right before he exited the tree, he said one last thing.

"Another thing I would suggest: see if you can stay in Konoha. We might like having you around." With that, he walked out of the paper tree.

**Ruined Konoha**

Tsunade, Anko, and the ANBU were helping people out of the rubble, and cleaning up the town.

"Hey look, it's him!" Someone's voice suddenly shouted out. Their heads turned as fast as lightning to see Aaron walking towards them with a proud smile on his face. Anko ran like she was using the Hiraishin, and glomped him as hard as she could.

"Hey, hey, take it easy! I got some important news!" He told them. Anko got off reluctantly.

"I showed Nagato what was wrong about what he was doing, and well..."

"We've decided we want to live in Konoha." Nagato's voice said semi-loudly. He was moving towards them in his contraption with Konan trailing not far behind.

"WHAT?" Tsunade shouted.

"I gave them the offer to live here." Aaron said with a shrug.

"WHY THE _HELL_ WOULD YOU DO THAT?"

"I was extending hospitality. Before I came here, I was Christian, which is a religion in that other dimension. One thing I learned; even if someone tries to hurt you, treat them as you wish to be treated."

"HE TRIED TO DESTROY THE VILLAGE? WE HAVE REASON TO TORTURE HIM AND CUT HIS BALLS OFF!"

"A different saying with the same meaning; unto others as yourself." Aaron said in a way reminiscent of a philosopher. Although he was calm on the outside, inside his mind, he and Inner were both puking their guts out at the thought of getting their balls cut off, with Akahana being scared at that thought and worried for her fiancé.

"I can't believe the Hokage, the best in the village, and one of the Sannin to boot, can't see the fact that Nagato and Konan would be valuable additions to Konoha." Aaron said jokingly, shaking his head from side to side. That caught Tsunade off guard.

"Wha-"

"Plus, if the leader of Amegakure and his second-in-command joined us, all of Amegakure would follow." He added. She seemed to ponder that for a moment.

"You know, that's actually a pretty good idea." She said, pointing a finger upwards.

"Exactly why I'm the leader of the gods." Anko, for reasons unknown until the next verbal sentence, grew a devious grin, and whispered something into Tsunade's ear. Then Tsunade grew a likewise grin, and said,

"I just got an idea. In honor of our victory, I'm making tomorrow the first annual 'Shirtless Guys Day'! All men cannot wear a shirt for the entirety of tomorrow!" All the males of the population jaw-dropped.

...

Except for Jiraiya. He was giddy with a bloody nose to add. What? Did ya think he really wouldn't have a pervert moment?

"Jiraiya and any old guys are the only exception." She added. Jiraiya's perverted little world came crashing down like an avalanche. _HA-HA_! (I just had a Nelson moment. XD)

"Son of a bitch, I'm probably gonna die of fangirl-itis tomorrow." Aaron said, mimicking shooting himself in the head with a pistol by using his hand.

"Well, why don't I just let everyone take a break from rebuilding and do it myself?" He then suggested.

"How are you going to do that?" Anko asked him.

"If I made the universe from scratch in one day, I can _certainly_ rebuild the village." Aaron answered with a grin. Then he closed his eyes and floated up in the air. He moved his hands around, and all the broken buildings and such floated up, and began rebuilding themselves. Within minutes, the entire village was back to normal. Aaron floated back down, and smiled.

"All done." Fate somehow appeared next to him, and whispered something in his ear, making Aaron's eyes widen a little.

"Thank you for telling me. You're making progress." Aaron quickly said. Fate nodded, and disappeared as fast as he came.

"What did he tell you?" Anko asked. Aaron dismissed it with a wave of his hand.

"It was nothing."

...

Awkward silence...DAMMIT!

"I think I'm going to head home; it's been a long day." He said. Then Aaron walked off. Anko shrugged and followed suit.

**Aaron's House**

He climbed into bed and stared at the ceiling.

"So she's one as well? I thought she would be with _him_ instead." Then he just turned over and went to sleep. Little did he know, a gentle form got in the bed as well. Aaron just assumed it was Anko.

_Chapter...END!_

Who was Aaron talking about? What did Fate tell him? And who got in bed with him? Find out next time!

**~Jinso ^3^**


	50. CRA Bullshit: Aaron says Fuck No!

I LIKE PIE! HERE WE GO! IT'S CHAPTA 50, YO!

...

Killer Bee would like that one...

Dutchy: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! **YOU SHALL NEVER TAKE ANKO!** **NEEEEEVEEEEER****!**

...

Ok then...HERE WE GO!

CHAPTER 50:

**CRA BULLSHIT; AARON SAYS 'FUCK NO!'**

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

Aaron was having the best dream ever. 6 different women; Anko, Samui, Akahana, Ayame, Aaruka, and Konan...and just him. You can imagine the rest in your pervy little worlds.

...

Yes, I said Konan. You remember how last chapter that Fate whispered something in Aaron's ear, right? Well, he said that there had been a mix-up in who one of his wives was. Instead of Kurenai, it was _Konan_.

NOW _THAT_ WAS A SHOCKER.

Suddenly, Aaron woke up with the best feeling in his lower region. A feminine hand was on his mini-me, moving up and down, from what he could tell.

_DAAAAAAAAAMN_ did that feel good.

"Oh Kami that feels good..." He mumbled. Aaron slowly opened his eyes to find Konan in the bed right beside him, asleep, doing what had been previously said.

"Konan..." Aaron groaned. Her eyes slowly opened, and then they widened hard as she saw what she had accidentally been doing.

"S-Sorry." She stuttered with a blush.

"It's fine. When I was a teen, I used to have those kinds of dreams all the time." He said after pulling his pants up. A knock came at his door. So Aaron just got up and answered it. A bird masked ANBU was standing there.

"You and your friends are requested by the Civilian Council." The ANBU said.

"Alright, thanks." Aaron told them, squinting his eyes against the bright light of the sun. (LOL! XD) The ANBU then left. Aaron walked back into the bedroom.

"I'll be back soon. Maybe I can show you around?" He said.

"Sure." He smiled. Then Aaron teleported away to go get Rich and May.

**Outside the Council Hall**

"So...what? Are we just gonna walk in there?" Aaron asked as they were headed towards the meeting hall.

"What do you mean?" May asked.

"I_ mean_, are we just going to have a boring entrance?"

"I think that's just fine."

"No, no, no." Aaron told them, shaking his head from side to side.

"We gotta make some of them shit BRICKS in surprise when we enter!" He said, slamming his fist down on his open palm.

"So what do you suggest? We're going to enter wearing _diapers_ and _angel wings_ and shout 'Happy New Year!'?" Rich asked, first rolling his eyes, then raising his hands in the air for emphasis at the end of his sentence.

"I thinking something more like..." Aaron gathered his two friends closer and they drew up a plan.

**Right Outside the Council Hall**

"Ready? I'm going to blow the doors open, and you're going to shout 'TIME'S UP! LET'S DO THIS!', then run in shouting 'RISHIIIIII UZUMAKIIIIIIII!' okay?" Aaron asked Rich. The blonde nodded.

"And May, you're going to crash in via the roof, and look cool, alright?" She nodded as well.

"What are you going to enter doing?" Rich asked him. Aaron smirked.

"Just watch." Then he held his hands out. May was lifted in the air, surprising her, and disappeared, coming back into existence on the roof of the hall.

"YOU SO OWE ME FOR THAT!" She shouted, waving her fist.

"I GOT YOU UP THERE, DIDN'T I?" He shouted back. She stopped, and just walked to the middle of the roof. Then Aaron held his hands in the direction of the doors, and fired a bolt of light, blowing the two frames inwards.

"TIME'S UP! LET'S DO THIS!" Rich shouted, beginning to run.

"RISHIIIII UZUMAKIIIIIII!" Rich ran inside. Aaron then heard a crash, signaling May was inside as well. Aaron just folded his arms on his chest, and teleported inside.

**Council Hall**

Needless to say, the Civilian Council was shell-shocked. Hell, some of them _did_ shit _actual_ bricks. How that was possible, this author will never know. May was standing on a piece of roof in the middle of the building, and Rich was smirking next to her.

"Where is the Uchiha?" One civilian asked.

"Right here." Aaron's voice came from all around. Everyone's heads were moving like lightning. Aaron walked out of the shadowy corner which he had been in, shocking some of them.

"How did you—"

"Trade secret." He simply said. Danzo cleared his throat.

"Anyways, it has come to our attention that you are courting the one known as Anko Mitarashi." Aaron's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, what of it?" He asked in an irritated voice.

"It has also come to our attention that you possess a demon." Aaron got angrier.

"So?"

"WE DON'T WANT ANY DEMON TRAITOR SPAWN RUNNING AROUND IN OUR VILLAGE!" The pink-haired banshee—Sayaka Haruno, one of Sakura's clansmembers—yelled. A tick mark appeared on Aaron's head.

"First of all," He began in a restrained tone—before Danzo could command her to be quiet.

"What my future children will become is none of your concern. Second, I suggest you stop screaming, you banshee, unless you want to personally find out _just how deep_ the shit you're getting into is." Aaron told them, getting ready to blow a hole in the building.

"HOW _DARE_ YOU TALK TO A MEMBER OF THE COUNCIL THAT WAY, YOU BASTARD!" She shouted. Aaron growled, and the floor beneath him began to form a crater.

"If you yell at me again, I swear to me that I will make you see your worst nightmares." He said.

"SWEAR TO YOU! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!" A streak of red light flashed across the room faster than anyone could see, and Aaron went into Legendary Warrior Mode™ with an explosion of power. Most of the council members shit bricks again.

"**Just so you know, **_**woman**_**,**" He spat.

"**Gods don't take very kindly to someone cursing at them.**" Then his Mangekyo Sharingan flashed, and Sayaka was unconscious.

"Have someone take her back the Clan District." Danzo ordered. Two ANBU appeared, picked up Sayaka, and carried her off. Aaron untransformed, and everyone settled down.

"Now, as you may know, we have called you here to discuss the Clan Restoration Act, primarily who you and your friend Rishi's wives will be." Rich's eyes narrowed at that, mimicking Aaron's.

"We thought that since Hiroshi has the Sharingan, he should marry a Hyuuga; at least one." Aaron just closed his eyes.

"And Rishi should wed one of the other clans' members; probably a Haruno." Rich's right eye twitched.

"We shall get back to you on who you will wed. Is that understood?" Danzo asked. They both were silent. Then, Aaron answered,

"No." The Council was shocked.

"No! How dare you speak that way to the Civilian Council?" A fat old man yelled, waving his fist. Aaron opened his eyes and transformed again.

"**You do not want to speak to me that way unless you want to find your family dead, your **_**reproductive organ**_** in pieces in front of you, and about 1000 unholy demons tearing you to pieces!**" He barked. _This _time, the Council shit _flying_ bricks. The member shrunk back into his seat. Aaron went back to normal, and said,

"I will marry _whom_ I chose and _when_ I want to. If you do not accept that, then the divine wrath of the Creator shall fall upon your life, Danzo Shimura." With that, Aaron gracefully strode outside the building.

"...Ditto..." Rich said. Then he and May walked to meet Aaron.

**Outside**

"Well that went well." Rich commented. Aaron gave a slight nod.

"Yes it did."

"Now then, I guess since the Hokage declared a 'shirtless guys' holiday, I have to wear no shirt." Aaron grabbed the side of his shirt, and tossed it away, leaving his bare chest revealed for the world to see. May forced back a blush. Aaron's shirt hit the ground hard, creating many cracks in the earth.

"Damn, man, what does that thing _weigh_?" Rich asked.

"'Bout five tons." Aaron then ran away so quickly that he was a blur, not seeing or hearing Rich's jaw smack into the ground as he was already a mile away.

**Konan POV**

Konan was sitting in the living room of Aaron's house on his black leather sofa (**A/N** Black is my favorite color, like his), watching what was called a "TV". It was amazing how everything looked like real life. Suddenly, the door flew open and shut in about 1 nanosecond, and she jumped up.

"Wh-Who's there?" Konan asked.

"Just me." Aaron's voice said. She turned with a start to see Aaron leaning against one corner of the room with his right knee bent and his foot on the wall. For some reason, his chest was bare.

"Oh, it's just you." She said, breathing in and out.

"O.o"

"What?" Aaron asked.

"Why are you shirtless?"

"Anko gave Tsunade the idea to make today a 'Shirtless Guys' holiday, and Jiraiya and all the old guys are the only exceptions. I'll have to get her back. Kukuku..." Aaron's eyes widened, and he said,

"If I ever laugh like Orochimaru again, please slap me." She nodded. Aaron let out a sigh.

"So how 'bout I show you around the village."

"Okay." Aaron took her arm and they walked outside. Many villagers shot them glares as they walked around. Aaron just cast a genjutsu on them which made them see the shadow of the Kyuubi on the ground in front of him, and he walked away while they writhed on the ground. After Aaron showed Konan the entire village, they parted ways, and he went home.

_Chapter...END!_

Well? Did you like it? Was it good?

...

ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!

...

Ya know what? Nevermind.

A/N 1: Did anyone get the Leeroy Jenkins reference?

A/N 2: Anyone know where I got the idea for weighted clothes from? (You get a cookie if you do! *epic face*)

...

Anyways, I'm so glad you guys have kept up this far! It makes me truly happy, something I rarely experience.

...

(too many awkward silences...)

Well, hope you'll stick with me even more, and the next chapter will be out soon!

SEE YA NEXT TIME!

**~Jinso ^3^**


	51. A Not so Normal Day: Mobbed by Fangirls!

HEYOOO! IT'S TIME TO GO! SO LET'S GET OUR FICTION ON, AND NOT GO SLO-MO!

...

I've been hearing Bee talk too much.

DUTCHY GETS A COOKIE! HELLZ YEAH!

**COOOOOKEEEEH PAAAARTEEEEH!**

*dance music plays and I do the chicken dance*

...

My god, I'm getting even more batshit insane...

WOOHOO!

...

BLARGHA-FUCKIN'-BLARGHA!

...

Dr. O: DR. OCTAGONAPUS—

OH HELL NO! HELL NO!

*shoots Dr. Octagonapus three times*

...

PHEW! Glad that's over.

Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

**A NOT-SO-NORMAL DAY; MOBBED BY FANGIRLS!**

...

Sounds like a news headline...

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

Aaron woke with Anko in his arms. Her normally ponytailed hair was down, leaving violet strands splayed about behind her.

'_Damn, she's cute when she looks like that._' He thought. He shifted slightly, making Anko stir. She blinked her eyes open slowly.

"Good morning, Foxy-kun." She said with a smile.

"Good morning, Hebi-chan." He said back. They both kissed for a moment, then broke apart.

"So what are we going to do today?" Anko asked him.

"I was thinking of maybe getting some money by destroying bandit camps or something like that." He said.

"Well then, you might want to get dressed." She said, poking his nose.

"Ok then, my sweet Hebi-chan." Aaron said. He then teleported out of bed and reappeared in the middle of the room.

"Ah, teleporting. You gotta love it." He commented. Then Aaron quickly undressed and got his pants on.

"At least I won't have to be shirtless again." He muttered.

"Oh, and by the way," Anko began. Aaron froze; hoping she wouldn't say today was a continuation of Shirtless Guys Day.

"Lady Tsunade wants you for something important." He phew'd quietly.

"Ok, I'll stop by her office." Aaron told her. He finished getting the rest of his clothes on, and walked out with a pleasant,

"See ya later."

**Tsunade's Office**

A knock came at her office door.

"Enter," She said. Aaron walked in with his hands behind his head.

"Hello Aaron. How are you doing?"

"Good. What'd you call me here for?" He asked.

"I have decided that for your contributions to the village, I am going to make you an ANBU, if you want." Aaron thought for a moment.

'_Should I be an ANBU? Would I get to see Anko all the time if I did? Maybe I could become a Jounin._' He asked himself in his mind.

"If I became an ANBU, would I have to be present all the time?" Aaron asked Tsunade.

"Sometimes. I would probably only call on you if I needed protection going somewhere or an escort."

"Hmmm..." Then he got an idea.

"Would it be alright if I became a Jounin, but was given ANBU rank authority?" He asked.

"I should think so. The council will disagree, though." He frowned.

"Screw the council. Those old bastards and bitches can take away my authority when they manage to _kiss my ass_, and we all know _that_ won't happen." Aaron said, rolling his eyes. Tsunade smiled and nodded her head.

"Then I now declare you a Jounin of Konoha." Confetti rained down from the ceiling.

"Okayyyy, then." Aaron stood up.

"Thanks. I'm off to celebrate with Anko." With that, he exited the tower via teleportation and reappeared right outside.

"Time to celebrate with Anko." He said. Suddenly, the earth started shaking. He turned his head quickly to see a fricking MOB of FANGIRLS charging towards him with hearts in their eyes.

"OH SHIT!" The brunette god cried out. He then began running at Mach Four away from the mob of fangirls. They managed to catch up to him when he stopped to talk to a cabbage merchant, thinking he was far enough away for a little chat, when the cabbage merchant cuffed him and the fangirls reached Aaron. He then screamed as they tore off some of his clothes. Luckily, when they tried to please (read: RAPE) him, he poofed into smoke. Aaron had made a shadow clone and sent it to lead them off. He teleported into his house while panting, surprising Anko, who was on his black leather sofa. (A/N: I LURVE black.)

"Soooo?" She asked.

"First off, I was mobbed by fangirls after this happened, and they almost managed to RAPE my clone." Anko scowled.

"But what happened was that I got promoted to Jounin." He said happily. Then he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he spoke.

"How about a celebration?" Aaron asked. Anko got up off of his couch.

"Be prepared for the best day of your life." She told him.

"Be prepared for the best _night_ of _yours_." He said right back. She kissed him on the lips.

"Now enter the world of the Sharingan, where your greatest fantasies shall become reality." Aaron said mysteriously. With that, his Elder Sharingan spun, and her world was overtaken by his.

**5 Minutes into the sexiest genjutsu ever (bet you wanna know, huh?)**

"Wow. I didn't know she had a brunette fetish."

**Right after the genjutsu ended**

Aaron carried Anko into his bedroom bridal style, with his violet-haired lover still conscious. 20 seconds after that—and after Aaron had put up a sign—massive screams were heard.

**5 Minutes Later**

Rich, May, Hansuke, Arine, Kakashi (for some unknown reason) and Jiraiya ran inside Aaron's house. Jiraiya was there only to see if there was any sex, and if there was, he thought he was going to see something amazing. They immediately located the source of the noise and ran to Aaron's room. The door was locked, with a big-ass sticky note on it that had words written in black marker. Arine and May both blushed at the sounds they heard.

"A sticky note?" Rich asked. They read the note carefully.

**To any of my friends who come into my house:**

**KINDA BUSY RIGHT NOW! (Get the message?)**

**Jiraiya: if you even think about coming in or peeping, I will skin you alive, then kill you, and then resurrect you just to kill you again. Then I'll bring you back and remove your dick painfully and put it back on five times before burning it to a crisp. Only ****then**** will I give you a little bit of a break. I will forcefully make you peep on a bunch of women at the hot springs, and when you get caught, incapacitate you and feed you to the metaphorical sharks.**

Everyone just turned to a random corner with a neon blinking sign above it that read "The Coward Corner" to see Jiraiya huddled in the fetal position, whispering,

"Mommy, make the bad things go away...Mommy, make the bad things go away..." He repeated his mantra over and over while crying. There was still more to the note.

**To everyone that's not Jiraiya,**

They all sweatdropped. He somehow knew that only Jiraiya would get in the corner.

**Now that we're done with that disturbing yet needed piece of information, know that I will be done in 50 minutes, more or less. Until then, do not come in.**

**Kakashi: NO IDEAS, YOU PERVERTED SONOVABITCH.**

Everyone then turned to _another_ corner with _another_ blinking neon sign that said "The Emo Corner" and saw Kakashi muttering in a somber voice. There was _still_ more to the huge sticky note.

**Arine: I know we haven't been able to spend a lot of time training, so know that once I'm done, I am going to meet you at Training Ground 35. Hope it'll make up.**

Arine simultaneously blushed and smiled.

**Rich and May: We can probably hang out together after I'm done here and with Arine.**

They both subconsciously nodded their heads.

**Hansuke: We could also spend a bit of time together soon, alright?**

Hansuke flashed himself a grin.

**Now to finish, if you're wondering why this is going on, it's because Tsunade promoted me to Jounin for what I've done for the village. I also have ANBU rank authority. See you all soon.**

**~Aaron**

"That was one really long note." Rich commented. May nodded.

"_Any_ways, let's take the two pervs and leave him alone. I think he's gonna need the time." May and Rich each took one of Kakashi and Jiraiya's hands and dragged them away with Hansuke and Arine following.

_**60**_** Minutes Later **(Thought it was gonna be 50, didn't ya?)

Aaron stepped out of his bedroom.

"Damn, that was good." He said with a yawn. Then he started sniffing in the air.

"I smell fear," He sniffed again.

"Disappointment," Aaron sniffed once more.

"...And emo-ness." He finished.

"Yep. They read the note." Aaron then deduced. He let out a yawn.

"Ok, time to meet Arine at training ground 35." With that, he flashed away.

_Chapter...END!_

So did yu like it? Hmmmmmmmmm? If you think a lemon for the implied sex is coming up...

...

YOU'RE WRONG!

I hope you liked it, and comment if you wish!

So remember people, keep reading, don't sniff mysterious cheese, and ointment that salsa till the cows come home!

SEE JOO LATER!


	52. Training Time: A New Genin Team to Boot!

HEYOOO! IT'S TIME TO GO! SO LET'S GET OUR FICTION ON, AND NOT GO SLO-MO!

...

I've been hearing Bee talk too much.

DUTCHY GETS A COOKIE! HELLZ YEAH!

**COOOOOKEEEEH PAAAARTEEEEH!**

*dance music plays and I do the chicken dance*

...

My god, I'm getting even more batshit insane...

WOOHOO!

...

BLARGHA-FUCKIN'-BLARGHA!

...

Dr. O: DR. OCTAGONAPUS—

OH HELL NO! HELL NO!

*shoots Dr. Octagonapus three times*

...

PHEW! Glad that's over.

Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

**A NOT-SO-NORMAL DAY; MOBBED BY FANGIRLS!**

...

Sounds like a news headline...

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

Aaron woke with Anko in his arms. Her normally ponytailed hair was down, leaving violet strands splayed about behind her.

'_Damn, she's cute when she looks like that._' He thought. He shifted slightly, making Anko stir. She blinked her eyes open slowly.

"Good morning, Foxy-kun." She said with a smile.

"Good morning, Hebi-chan." He said back. They both kissed for a moment, then broke apart.

"So what are we going to do today?" Anko asked him.

"I was thinking of maybe getting some money by destroying bandit camps or something like that." He said.

"Well then, you might want to get dressed." She said, poking his nose.

"Ok then, my sweet Hebi-chan." Aaron said. He then teleported out of bed and reappeared in the middle of the room.

"Ah, teleporting. You gotta love it." He commented. Then Aaron quickly undressed and got his pants on.

"At least I won't have to be shirtless again." He muttered.

"Oh, and by the way," Anko began. Aaron froze; hoping she wouldn't say today was a continuation of Shirtless Guys Day.

"Lady Tsunade wants you for something important." He phew'd quietly.

"Ok, I'll stop by her office." Aaron told her. He finished getting the rest of his clothes on, and walked out with a pleasant,

"See ya later."

**Tsunade's Office**

A knock came at her office door.

"Enter," She said. Aaron walked in with his hands behind his head.

"Hello Aaron. How are you doing?"

"Good. What'd you call me here for?" He asked.

"I have decided that for your contributions to the village, I am going to make you an ANBU, if you want." Aaron thought for a moment.

'_Should I be an ANBU? Would I get to see Anko all the time if I did? Maybe I could become a Jounin._' He asked himself in his mind.

"If I became an ANBU, would I have to be present all the time?" Aaron asked Tsunade.

"Sometimes. I would probably only call on you if I needed protection going somewhere or an escort."

"Hmmm..." Then he got an idea.

"Would it be alright if I became a Jounin, but was given ANBU rank authority?" He asked.

"I should think so. The council will disagree, though." He frowned.

"Screw the council. Those old bastards and bitches can take away my authority when they manage to _kiss my ass_, and we all know _that_ won't happen." Aaron said, rolling his eyes. Tsunade smiled and nodded her head.

"Then I now declare you a Jounin of Konoha." Confetti rained down from the ceiling.

"Okayyyy, then." Aaron stood up.

"Thanks. I'm off to celebrate with Anko." With that, he exited the tower via teleportation and reappeared right outside.

"Time to celebrate with Anko." He said. Suddenly, the earth started shaking. He turned his head quickly to see a fricking MOB of FANGIRLS charging towards him with hearts in their eyes.

"OH SHIT!" The brunette god cried out. He then began running at Mach Four away from the mob of fangirls. They managed to catch up to him when he stopped to talk to a cabbage merchant, thinking he was far enough away for a little chat, when the cabbage merchant cuffed him and the fangirls reached Aaron. He then screamed as they tore off some of his clothes. Luckily, when they tried to please (read: RAPE) him, he poofed into smoke. Aaron had made a shadow clone and sent it to lead them off. He teleported into his house while panting, surprising Anko, who was on his black leather sofa. (A/N: I LURVE black.)

"Soooo?" She asked.

"First off, I was mobbed by fangirls after this happened, and they almost managed to RAPE my clone." Anko scowled.

"But what happened was that I got promoted to Jounin." He said happily. Then he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he spoke.

"How about a celebration?" Aaron asked. Anko got up off of his couch.

"Be prepared for the best day of your life." She told him.

"Be prepared for the best _night_ of _yours_." He said right back. She kissed him on the lips.

"Now enter the world of the Sharingan, where your greatest fantasies shall become reality." Aaron said mysteriously. With that, his Elder Sharingan spun, and her world was overtaken by his.

**5 Minutes into the sexiest genjutsu ever (bet you wanna know, huh?)**

"Wow. I didn't know she had a brunette fetish."

**Right after the genjutsu ended**

Aaron carried Anko into his bedroom bridal style, with his violet-haired lover still conscious. 20 seconds after that—and after Aaron had put up a sign—massive screams were heard.

**5 Minutes Later**

Rich, May, Hansuke, Arine, Kakashi (for some unknown reason) and Jiraiya ran inside Aaron's house. Jiraiya was there only to see if there was any sex, and if there was, he thought he was going to see something amazing. They immediately located the source of the noise and ran to Aaron's room. The door was locked, with a big-ass sticky note on it that had words written in black marker. Arine and May both blushed at the sounds they heard.

"A sticky note?" Rich asked. They read the note carefully.

**To any of my friends who come into my house:**

**KINDA BUSY RIGHT NOW! (Get the message?)**

**Jiraiya: if you even think about coming in or peeping, I will skin you alive, then kill you, and then resurrect you just to kill you again. Then I'll bring you back and remove your dick painfully and put it back on five times before burning it to a crisp. Only ****then**** will I give you a little bit of a break. I will forcefully make you peep on a bunch of women at the hot springs, and when you get caught, incapacitate you and feed you to the metaphorical sharks.**

Everyone just turned to a random corner with a neon blinking sign above it that read "The Coward Corner" to see Jiraiya huddled in the fetal position, whispering,

"Mommy, make the bad things go away...Mommy, make the bad things go away..." He repeated his mantra over and over while crying. There was still more to the note.

**To everyone that's not Jiraiya,**

They all sweatdropped. He somehow knew that only Jiraiya would get in the corner.

**Now that we're done with that disturbing yet needed piece of information, know that I will be done in 50 minutes, more or less. Until then, do not come in.**

**Kakashi: NO IDEAS, YOU PERVERTED SONOVABITCH.**

Everyone then turned to _another_ corner with _another_ blinking neon sign that said "The Emo Corner" and saw Kakashi muttering in a somber voice. There was _still_ more to the huge sticky note.

**Arine: I know we haven't been able to spend a lot of time training, so know that once I'm done, I am going to meet you at Training Ground 35. Hope it'll make up.**

Arine simultaneously blushed and smiled.

**Rich and May: We can probably hang out together after I'm done here and with Arine.**

They both subconsciously nodded their heads.

**Hansuke: We could also spend a bit of time together soon, alright?**

Hansuke flashed himself a grin.

**Now to finish, if you're wondering why this is going on, it's because Tsunade promoted me to Jounin for what I've done for the village. I also have ANBU rank authority. See you all soon.**

**~Aaron**

"That was one really long note." Rich commented. May nodded.

"_Any_ways, let's take the two pervs and leave him alone. I think he's gonna need the time." May and Rich each took one of Kakashi and Jiraiya's hands and dragged them away with Hansuke and Arine following.

_**60**_** Minutes Later **(Thought it was gonna be 50, didn't ya?)

Aaron stepped out of his bedroom.

"Damn, that was good." He said with a yawn. Then he started sniffing in the air.

"I smell fear," He sniffed again.

"Disappointment," Aaron sniffed once more.

"...And emo-ness." He finished.

"Yep. They read the note." Aaron then deduced. He let out a yawn.

"Ok, time to meet Arine at training ground 35." With that, he flashed away.

_Chapter...END!_

So did yu like it? Hmmmmmmmmm? If you think a lemon for the implied sex is coming up...

...

YOU'RE WRONG!

I hope you liked it, and comment if you wish!

So remember people, keep reading, don't sniff mysterious cheese, and ointment that salsa till the cows come home!

SEE JOO LATER!


	53. Aaron's Squad: Enter the Genin!

IT'S TIME FOR CHAPTA FIFTY-THREE! HEE HEE HEE! I'M GONNA CLIMB UP A TREE!

...

Damnit. Bee, I'm gonna get you.

dch448: Wow. It took 52 chapters for me to get my first flame. I'm actually very happy about getting a flame. It shows that I can improve my work. But know that I still hate flamers, even though I would not be a true author without at least five. Flame me again, and I shall report you.

Anyways, you guys ready for Chapter 53?

Good!

**AARON'S SQUAD; ENTER THE GENIN!**

Let's gooooooooooooooooo!

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

It was 8:00 AM. The genin were sitting in the meeting room waiting for their sensei. A young boy with scraggly brown hair and copper eyes sat on top of a desk, dangling his feet. A girl with yellow streaked indigo hair and green eyes stood propped up against a corner of the room. A girl with wiry, thin red hair and chocolate brown eyes was sitting on the ground, counting rocks. The door swung open, and their heads popped up.

"Team Four? I'm your sensei. Meet me at Training Ground 44." A man with black hair and black eyes said. The man was tan and well-built. He also had strong conviction in his voice. The man then simply faded into thin air.

"Well, I guess we should get going." The boy said. The two girls got to him and walked outside. Then they headed to Training Ground 4.

**Training Ground 44**

The three new genin got to the entrance of the Forest of Death.

"We're here!" The red haired girl called out.

"Good." Their sensei's voice said from all around them. They looked around bewilderedly, and the man appeared out of thin air in the middle of the entrance, and four stumps appeared with him.

"Whoa! I've _got_ to learn how to do that!" The small boy exclaimed.

"Sit down over here." Their sensei ordered. The three genin ran up and sat on three of the stumps across from their sensei.

"What's your name, sensei?" The bluenette asked.

"My name is Hiroshi Uchiha, one of the last three living Uchiha in the entire world, and probably the most epic dude you will ever meet." Aaron said. The three genin eyed him with awe. They had one of the last Uchiha as a sensei!

"My likes are wolves, dango, ramen on occasion, sake, just plain relaxing, my weapons, which I take pride in, my girlfriend/fiancé, and kicking major ass. My dislikes are jerks, stuck-up pricks, the asshole villagers who call me a demon, and anyone who wishes to harm my friends. My hobbies are training, perfecting my techniques, playing mind games, solving hard puzzles, challenging strong opponents, and partying on occasion. My dream is to..." He stood up and struck an epic pose.

"REBUILD MY CLAN!" Somewhere in Heaven, Mikoto cried tears of joy. Aaron sat back down.

"Also to eventually give all my techniques and abilities to a worthy son or daughter and make sure none of my future children have any 'poles up their asses'." He let out a sigh.

"Now I want each of you to tell me your name, your likes, dislikes, hobbies, and dream/dreams." He pointed to the bluenette.

"You go first." She nodded, and drew in a breath.

"My name is Nami Jasuhona. My likes are whales, dolphins, seahorses, antiques, any ancient text that I can study, and pottery. My dislikes are mosquitoes, buffoons, people who wreck stuff for no reason, and any brown-haired idiots who try to cop a feel." She said that last part while glaring at the only boy.

"Hey! I didn't try to cop a feel! I got pushed into you by that jerk, Mimoto!" The boy said. Nami huffed and blew a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"_Sure_. Whatever, Kurodou." Kurodou pouted.

'_Ah, to be young and in love and clueless._' Aaron thought with a smile.

"Sensei?" Aaron was still musing in his mind.

"Sensei?"He snapped out of it.

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I was just thinking."

"Anyways, my dream is to be the best kunoichi in the world and to prove that girls aren't worthless." Aaron nodded happily.

"That's a good dream. Most people think kunoichi are a waste of space or only good for sex because they have 'training'." He made air quotes around the word "training".

"It's stupid, and I hate it." Aaron then pointed to Kurodou.

"Your turn."

"My name is Kurodou Shinta!" Kurodou said enthusiastically.

"My likes are training, food, pretty girls," Aaron chuckled at this one.

"My best friend, Chouko Akimichi, Katon jutsu, and swords! My dislikes are perverts and rapists, 'cuz those sick bastards deserve to die!" Aaron chuckled with a definite grin. This kid reminded him of himself at a young age; Headstrong, determined, and wanting to kick as much ass as he could.

"And my dream is to become the Hokage after Boss!" Aaron stopped for a moment. Boss? Now _where_ had he heard that before? (intended sarcasm)

"Boss?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah, you know! Blonde spiky hair, whiskers, dattebayo?"

"Yeah, I know him. He's my best friend's brother, and he's best friends with _my_ brother."

"Great! Then you know he's gonna be the Rokudaime, right, sensei?" Aaron nodded.

"I know so." (At least in my fic he will. Hehehe...)

"How do you know?" the girl with wiry red hair asked.

"Well, tell me about yourself, and I'll let you in on that secret."

"Ok. My name is Kushinara Soyazuki. My likes are horses, apples, a certain boy *looks at Kurodou and blushes*,"

"Who's this guy? And are you sick? Your face is red." Kurodou asked unknowingly. Inner and Akahana both facepalmed. The kid was a regular Naruto except for his looks and contents.

"Peaches, fire," Aaron became curious.

"And my bloodline." Aaron got even more curious.

"Your bloodline?" She nodded.

"My bloodline allows me to morph fire and water into any shape I want and create it at will. I can even solidify fire and cool it." Aaron let out a long whistle.

"That's one hell of a bloodline."

"Yes, it is." Came Anko's voice. The genin looked to the right to see Anko leaning against a tree, spinning a kunai absently on her pinky finger.

"Hello, Anko. What's up?" Aaron asked casually.

"Oh, nothing much. Just finding some new people to torture." She replied in the same tone. Kurodou leaned over to Aaron and whispered,

"She's hot." Aaron nodded in agreement, but said quietly,

"She's mine, though." Anko walked over to Aaron and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"So who're the brats?" She asked.

"This is Team Aaron; Nami," Nami waved, but looked creeped out.

"Kurodou," Kurodou waved excitedly. Anko raised an eyebrow at his actions.

"And Kushinara." Kushinara said a polite hello.

"So you're taking up a team now, huh? Well you better still have time for me."

"Of course I'd have time for you, the Council be damned and sent to hell." She kissed him on the cheek.

"Good. By the way, we got an unbreakable guy at the T & I Department. You should come over." With that, Anko disappeared in a shunshin. There was silence for a bit before Kurodou said,

"Daaaaaaaaaaaamn." Nami slapped him upside the head.

"So how do you know that Boss is gonna be the Rokudaime, sensei?" Kurodou asked excitedly. Aaron motioned for them to lean in close.

"I can see the future." He simply told them.

"Wow, really!" Kurodou exclaimed. Aaron nodded proudly.

"That's pretty cool." Nami remarked.

"Believe me, it's not even the limit to what I can do." He told them.

"Now, I want you all to meet me here tomorrow at 8:00AM sharp. Don't eat breakfast." With that, Aaron disappeared in a flash, and the genin were still in awe. Then they went home.

_Chapter...END!_

So did you like it? I hope you did!

I WANNA COOKIE! OMNOMNOMNOM!

RAINBOWS SUCK! I WANT **DEEEEAAAAAAATH!**

...

_Any_ways, I will see you all soon, and hope you had a fun time reading this chapter!

**~Jinso ^3^**


	54. The Genin's Test: The Biggest Mind Fuck!

HEY! IT'S CHAPTER 54!

...

Thank God! I got rid of my rhyming! AND WHAT TIMING!

...

Shit...

By the way, what Dutchy said in her review to Chapter 50 was relevant to where I got Aaron's weighted clothes idea from.

...

I got it from Piccolo from DBZ. He always wears weighted training clothes. Well, that, and after Cell is beaten when Goku is training with King Kai while having a weight on each of his legs and arms.

...

Chapter 54:

**THE GENIN'S TEST; THE BIGGEST MIND FUCK EVER!**

Rock and ROLL!

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

The genin met back with Aaron at the Forest of Death.

"Are we going to train today?" Kurodou asked excitedly.

"Sorta." Aaron merely said.

"Sorta?" Nami asked.

"You're going to take a test to become Genin."

"But we already took one!" Kurodou exclaimed.

"_That_ test was to see if you qualified. The real test is in battle."

"What!" Kurodou yelled. Aaron took out two rings and put them on his bracers.

"If you can get these rings off of me by sundown, you pass."

"But there are only two."

"Excellent observation, Kushinara. Only two of you will pass. The other will be failed and sent back to the academy. Although, if you manage to do good in this test, I might let you take it a second time." The three genin gasped. One of them would be sent back?

"Now then," Aaron said, jumping away from them.

"Begin!" The three genin dashed away.

**5 Minutes Later**

Aaron was just standing there, waiting for his genin to attack him.

"You guys need to attack me if you want to pass!" He called out. Nothing moved. Aaron then turned around and stuck his nose in a mystery novel. Suddenly, a kunai burst from the bushes. Aaron simply stepped to the side as it flew past him. Then, the kunai disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Out of the smoke came Nami, who charged Aaron and starting punching. He simply moved from side to side, dodging every single attack. Then he jumped around Nami, turned, and ran straight into a pair of brown eyes. Kushinara began punching at Aaron at the same time as Nami, making him have to dodge at double his normal speed. He slammed his palm on the ground, and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. He reappeared right across from Kurodou, gazing into the boy's copper eyes.

"Wrong move, sensei." Kurodou's voice said ominously. Kurodou's eyes turned a ghastly, glowing purple, and Aaron felt a sharp pain in the side of his neck. The pain suddenly magnified a thousand times, and Aaron let out a loud

"FUCK!" He grasped his neck and fell to his knees. The pain was unbearable. It was like Orochimaru was sinking his teeth into Aaron's curse seal unrelentingly; over and over. Kurodou started laughing maniacally.

"Kurodou, STOP IT!" Nami yelled. Aaron felt darkness coming into his vision.

"I can't stop now! The fun's just beginning!" Kurodou said in a darker, deeper pitched voice. The darkness started coming over his eyes so much that he could barely see.

"KURODOU!" Kushinara screamed. Nami ran over and slapped Kurodou, making his eyes change back to their normal copper color. The darkness then took a near complete hold on Aaron's vision. The last thing he saw before falling into blackness was tears in Kurodou's eyes and Nami and Kushinara running over to him. The he fell backward and lay flat on his back.

**Right after Aaron fell unconscious**

"Kurodou, what's wrong with you!" Nami yelled.

"I...I don't know what happened...I just heard this voice in my head, then everything went black...I could see again right when Hiroshi-sensei was about to fall asleep..." The boy was crying by now.

"Well, we've got to get him some help." Kushinara determined. They tried to pick up their sensei, but they couldn't even lift him up a nanometer.

"How much does he weigh!" Nami said exasperatedly. Kushinara lifted up his head.

"His head weighs normal."

"So maybe it's his clothes." Kurodou tugged at his pants.

"His pants weigh normal."

"So it's his shirt?" Nami asked.

"I think he has weights in his shirt." Kurodou suggested. Nami tried to tug at his shirt, but it stayed rooted to where it was.

"I think it weighs like 5 tons." Then her head perked up.

_Exactly..._

A voice whispered on the wind.

"Did you hear that?" Nami asked.

"That voice. It said 'Exactly...'"

"Weird..." Kurodou said.

"So how are we gonna get it off so we can carry him?" They racked their brains for a moment before Nami said,

"I got it! Substitution!"

"Substitution?" Kushinara asked.

"It's simple. I just substitute with his shirt, leaving it on the ground, and then we carry him to the hospital."

"Ok." Nami made a hand seal and said,

"Substitution!" She and Aaron were covered in smoke. Then the smoke cleared, and Nami was standing on top of Aaron while his shirt was where she had been. Aaron was shirtless.

"Man, our sensei's got abs." Kushinara commented.

"Are you perving or something?" Kurodou asked. Furiously blushing, Kushinara turned to him and said,

"N-NO! I was just commenting on that." She turned back to Aaron.

"Not many people look like he does." Kurodou rolled his eyes with a smirk.

"Whatever."

"Guys, focus. Let's get our sensei to the hospital." Kushinara and Kurodou got on one side of Aaron and Nami got on the other, and they picked him up. Hurrying, they started running to the hospital. When they passed Training Ground 2, three of Kurodou's friends were there, along with their sensei, who was actually one of the people who didn't think Aaron or Naruto was a demon.

"What's wrong?" The male Jounin asked.

"Something happened with our sensei during training, and we have to get him to the hospital."

"Kizaro-sensei, we have to help them." One of the genin, Chouko Akimichi, said.

"Alright, let's help carry him." Kizaro said. The three other genin along with Kizaro grabbed a hold of Aaron, and they continued to the hospital. When they neared the area where the hospital was, they ran into Anko.

"Hey, don't you have a tes—" Her eyes widened as they landed on Aaron.

"What happened?" She asked in a low, threatening tone.

"Something happened with our sensei during the test, and we have to get him to the hospital." Anko shook her head.

"Just get him to his house."

"But—"

"Don't worry. He'll be okay." They mumbled a "Fine..." and then Kurodou asked,

"So where is his house?"

"I'll take you there." She motioned for them to follow. They genin, Kizaro, and Anko jumped to the rooftops as Anko led them to the Uchiha Compound.

**Aaron's Mindscape**

"What was that?" Aaron asked as he sat in front of Akahana's cell.

"I don't know. I heard some kind of voice when the kid's eyes glowed purple." Akahana told him.

"A voice? Do you think it's another demon?" He asked her.

"**I think it is.**" A familiar voice came from behind them. Aaron swiveled around to see a near perfect copy of himself, except the copy was wearing a dark grey hoodie, a pair of black sweatpants, and had a necklace with a crystal attached to it around his neck. His skin was pale, and his pupils were silver.

"Inner?"

"**Yeah, it's me.**"

"You think it's another demon?"

"**Most likely.**"

"Huh." Suddenly, voices could be heard from all around.

"_I think he's waking up..._" That was Anko.

"_Yeah, I think he is..._" That was Nami.

"_I hope he knows I didn't mean it..._" That was Kurodou. A light shone from above Aaron, and he said,

"Guess it's time to go." Then he grinned at Akahana.

"But before I do..." The background suddenly changed to a wide meadow, with a sparkling waterfall on the side of a rock formation in one part, a mini-Konoha that was as big as 2 of Aaron in another, a massive pet bed in another, and a small shed.

"The waterfall is for whatever use you like, the mini-Konoha is for just destroying something to vent or something else, and it also repairs itself, the pet bed is for just relaxing or sleeping in, and the shed is full of stuff I'm _sure_ you'll like." Then Aaron floated up and out of sight.

**Aaron's Bedroom**

He sat up in his bed slowly.

'_How did I get here?_' He thought. Then he noticed that a bunch of people were right in his face, staring at him.

"Waaah!" He cried out, jumping straight out of bed, then falling on the floor. He got back up slowly, a huge goose egg on his head.

"Sonovabitch..." He grumbled, rubbing the sore spot on his cranium. The he blinked. People were still staring at him. It was Anko, Rich, May, Arine (who actually wasn't in his face and instead was on the other side of the room), Kurodou, Nami, Kushinara, three other genin who he hadn't met, and a Jounin named Kizaro.

"Why're you all staring at me like that?" He asked.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU WAKE UP SO FAST!" Kurodou shouted, pointing a finger at Aaron.

"Trust me, if I told you, you'd shit concrete blocks." He replied.

"And why did you ask why I woke up so fast?"

"Well, when this would happen before, the people it happened to wouldn't wake up for a week."

"This happened before?"

"Yeah," Kurodou said with his head to the ground, shuffling his feet.

"One time, these bullies were ganging up on this girl I liked, so I tried to get them to go away. Then I heard this voice, and I blacked out. The next thing I knew, the bullies were unconscious and the girl was screaming. Then their parents came and started hurting me." Aaron scowled. He hated child beaters.

"Then more and more people heard about me, and I got hurt daily." Aaron was now growling.

"You...You're not going to hurt me, are you?" Kurodou then asked. Aaron shook his head.

"I would never hurt a child. It's despicable, and only the lowest of the low besides rapists would do it."Aaron then looked down, and noticed he was shirtless.

"Um...why am I shirtless?" He asked, laughing a little in between his words.

"Well...we wanted to carry you to the hospital, and we tried to pick you up, but we couldn't lift you off the ground at all. So we figured out that your shirt weighed about five tons, so Nami substituted with it so we could carry you. Then we ran into her," Kurodou pointed at Anko.

"And she told us to bring you here. Then she got your friends and we waited for you to wake up."

"Huh. Substitution. Now that's the kind of idea I'd expect from my genin." Aaron said, ruffling Nami's hair. A knock came at his door.

"I'll get it." He said, getting up out of bed. Aaron walked over to the door before anyone could complain. An ANBU was standing there.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Danzo-sama requests your presence." Aaron rolled his eyes mentally. He wanted to flip off that douche for taking his brother's best friend's eye.

"Sure. I'll be there." The ANBU bowed, and then raced off. Aaron got back to everyone else.

"I have to go see the old war fart." His best friends, Arine, and Anko of course knew he meant Danzo, but Kizaro was a little mad at his language.

"You shouldn't speak about a council member that way!" He scolded.

"Tch. If you knew as much about him as I did, you'd want his head on a pike." With that, Aaron left, but not before saying,

"By the way, Team Four, you pass. I'll take you all out for a treat later." With a smirk that was hidden from view, he teleported to the Council Hall.

"What now?" He asked the two elders and Danzo.

"It has come to our attention that you have not made any worthwhile contributions to the village." He wanted to pimp-slap Danzo right then and there.

"You must make a contribution, or face having your license revoked."

"You want me to make a contribution?" Aaron asked angrily.

"Oh, I'll make a contribution." He teleported to Tsunade's office.

"Tsunade, tell everyone to gather in the middle of the village." She turned around in surprise.

"And to prepare for the biggest mind fuck of their lives..." He teleported to the middle of town. Within minutes, everyone was gathered.

"What did you call us here for, Aaron?" Tsunade asked. He flashed a grin.

"My contribution." Eight clones appeared and formed a circle around him. They each got into separate positions, and began a ritual, forming a giant golden seal on the ground. One Aaron was sending streaks of light across the earth. Another was marking dots and lines with his feet. Another Aaron was slamming bolts of energy into the ground. Another was spinning, creating swirling and glowing patterns in the earth. Four others were repeating the first four's actions. When the entire group stopped, the seal was about 30 feet long was in the middle of everyone. Without warning, Aaron shouted,

"Now watch as I do something no demon would wish to do!" He slammed his palm into the ground, giving a cry of,

"RESURRECTION!" A column of light burst from the seal and rose beyond the limits of the world. When it dimmed into nothing, there was more than one person standing on the seal. On the ground where the seal lay, along with Aaron, was...

**CLIFFHANGER NO JUTSU!**

_Chapter...END!_

I AM **EVIIIIIIIILLLLL!**

**BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

You'll just have to read the next chapter to find out who Aaron resurrected. Try to guess who it is! I bet you can't!

See ya next time!

**~Jinso ^3^**


	55. Sh1t Hits the Fan: A Hokage is Revived!

HALLOO! IT IS I, THE GREAT, ALL-POWERFUL, ALL-KNOWING—AND OPEN 24/7, FIVE DAYS A WEEK—JINSO-SAMA! AND I AM HERE WITH CHAPTER 55, SO PREPARE FOR THE BIGGEST, MOST EPIC, MOST MIND-BLOWING, MOST OH-MY-GOD-I-SHIT-MY-PANTS MIND FUCK EVER!

...

I love mind fucks...

...

ANYWAYS, Chapter 55:

**SH1T HITS THE FAN; A HOKAGE IS REVIVED!**

I WANNA ROCK!

**ROCK!**

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

There...standing in the middle of the crowd with Aaron...was none other than the Yondaime himself, Minato Namikaze, and Kushina Uzumaki, Konoha's Red Death...

"Konoha?" Minato asked. 100% of the Yondaime's fanbase fainted.

"Dad?" Naruto's voice called out. The Yondaime and Kushina turned in Naruto's direction.

"Naruto?" Said jinchuriki popped out of the crowd. Almost immediately, tears were in his eyes. Naruto ran up to his mom and dad and he was pulled straight into a hug. About 99.98% of the entirety of Konoha jaw-dropped. Minato turned in Aaron's direction.

"You? You're the one that brought us back?" He asked. Aaron smiled.

"Yep."

"How did you manage to do that?" Kushina asked him.

"There's nothing God can't do..." He responded cryptically.

"Well, that and I had to promise the Shinigami that I'd let him 'have fun' with Orochimaru. And he doesn't mean sex." Both Kushina and Minato's eyes widened in understanding.

"Yep, Shinigami's one sadistic son of a bitch."

"WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!" One of the civilians cried out.

"THE FOURTH IS THE DEMON'S FATHER!" Aaron, Minato, and Kushina all glared the moment he said "demon". Minato turned to face Aaron.

"Why is my son being called a demon?" He asked in an angry voice.

"Nearly everyone was an asshole to Naruto since he contains the Kyuubi, and so most of the civilians think he's the demon incarnate, and therefore did a number of things to him I shouldn't talk about in front of small children." Aaron whispered. He nodded in understanding. Then Tsunade walked up to him.

"Well, seeing as how the Yellow Flash is alive again, I'd say he can be the _Hokage_ again as well." Minato nodded and said,

"I think I'll do that for a bit." Then nearly everyone cheered. Those who didn't were apparently drunk, and just sulked in the fact that they couldn't harm the "demon".

"As thanks for bringing me back to my son," Minato couldn't finish because Rich stepped out of the crowd.

"Make that _sons_." Minato and Kushina couldn't speak.

"Rishi?"

"Present." Rich said with an amused smirk. He then walked over to his mom and dad, and said,

"Anyone messes with my little brother, and they're gonna get an ass-kicking from the Red Death, the Yellow Flash, and the Yellow Streak." Minato turned to Rich.

"The Yellow Streak?" Rich grinned.

"My friend here..." He jerked his thumb at Aaron.

"...Finished up the Hirashin." Minato chuckled.

"Iwa's gonna shit their pants when they hear the Yellow Flash is back, _and_ he's got a successor." May walked over to the growing group.

"Whoever messes with Naruto is _also_ gonna get a Jyuuken bitch slap from me." Aaron walked over to the Uzumaki Family.

"The last and worst thing anyone who messes with my best friend's brother is gonna get is an ass-kicking from _God_, and trust me, it'll be far worse than their tiny little brains could ever handle." He said, cracking his knuckles for extra measure. The crowd was stunned.

"Well, I think we'd all better get back to our daily lives." Minato said, clapping his hands together. The crowd murmured, but dispersed within minutes. Only Team Four remained in the middle of the village.

"If there is anything I can do for you, let me know." Minato said to Aaron. Aaron thought for a moment, then got a devious grin. He leaned into Minato's ear and whispered something. His eyes widened, then grew a proud look in them.

"Can do." Aaron turned to Team Four. They were looking at him with complete shock and awe in their eyes.

"YOU'RE GOD!" Nami shouted. Aaron scratched the back of his head.

"Well, Kami is, but I'm kinda her superior." He said. His three genin of course then proceeded to let their jaws hit the ground with three musical clanks. He turned back to the Fourth.

"I'll fill you in on details of Naruto's past later." Minato nodded and walked away with his two sons and Kushina. Aaron then turned back to his still shocked genin team.

"Now for your celebration." His genin clenched their hands in excitement. What was it going to be?

"I've decided that we and some friends of each of us are all going to take a trip to the beach." Their eyes widened.

"YATTA!" Kurodou shouted, pumping his fist.

"Although, it's going to take a while for us to get a day off. I'll see if we can get it by the time we finish our first C-Rank." Their excitement dropped 100 feet off a building.

"AW MAN!" Kurodou yelled.

"Don't worry. We each get to invite three friends."

"Ok, Hiroshi-sensei." The three of them mumbled.

"Now you guys need to get home and get much rest for tomorrow." The three of them waved goodbye to their sensei and walked off.

"Now to go see the Hokage." He teleported away, only to miss the sound of an explosion at the place he needed to go to.

**Hokage Tower**

"Give up! We have you surrounded! Even a Kage cannot handle 1000 Elite Jounin!" A voice shouted at Minato. He was sitting in his chair calmly, his face obscured by shadow.

"Is that so? I distinctly remember the Fourth taking down ten thousand Iwa Jounin by himself." Minato retorted.

"The Fourth is dead! We're going to claim this village in the name of Iwagakure for revenge!" Minato smirked, not that they could see it. A thousand Iwa Jounin were all throughout the building, holding people hostage. One hundred were in the office where Minato was.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but..." He stood up out of his chair, the light now revealing his shaggy blonde hair, his cerulean blue eyes, and the same smirk which he had on in the Third Shinobi World War; the one which made even the adults of Iwagakure leave the lights on in their rooms at night.

"The Fourth is back." The 100 Jounin in the room pretty much shit bricks when that happened. There was even the sound of about 20 clangs on the ground, and also the sound of pants ripping.

"H-H-How! You're dead!"

"Not anymore." Aaron grinned in his shadowy hiding spot. It was so much fun to perform a mind fuck.

"Ohhhhhhhh shiit..." One of the Iwa Jounin said. About ten of the forces in the office immediately fainted. Aaron stepped out of his hiding spot.

"The Fourth is the least of your problems now." He said with a smirk that practically screamed "One wrong move and you're all fucked."

"Who-Who're you?" The lead Iwa Jounin asked, pointing a shaky finger at Aaron.

"Who am I?" Aaron folded his arms.

"I am the one who you fear all your life; I am the one which rules over all with divine justice; I am the one whose mere _name_ makes their enemies quake and shit their pants..." He then grinned at the Jounin, making them all wish they had written a will.

"I am...God." That pretty much ensured the pissing of the 100 other pairs of pants in the room.

"Yep...For you Iwa-nin, shit just hit the fan." Aaron said with a sadistic chuckle.

_Chapter...END!_

Now Naruto has his family all together! HELLZ YESH! And what will happen to the Iwa-nin?

A/N 1: I see that some people might want a lemon, so I have a contest. *evilly grins* If anyone can guess my first name before November 8th (When the 4th book in the Inheritance Cycle (The Eragon series) comes out), I will include a lemon between Aaron, Konan, and Anko in another chapter. (And I still might even if no one manages to...Mwahaha...)

BETTER GUESS GOOD!

Also, does anyone know what I am talking about when I say the Eragon series? THE BOOKS WERE AWESOME! HELLZ YEASH!

...

Though the movie was a complete fail. Eragon's hair is brown and his eyes are green instead of blonde hair and blue eyes. He also doesn't have a British accent. Brom has white and grey hair and a medium-small beard. And Arya has long black hair.

WHY THE FUCK DO THEY ALWAYS SCREW UP THE INTEGRITY OF AWESOME BOOKS WHENT HEY MAKE THE GODDAMN MOVIES! WHYYY-HI-HI-HY!

...

See you next time! (I have mood swings! HELLZ YEAH!)

**~Jinso**


	56. Divine Overkill: Why it's good to be God

HEY GUYS! IT IS TIME FOR CHAPTER 56! Man, this fic has been going on for a while. Did you all like the fact that I brought the Yondaime back?

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!

...

Nah, I'm just kidding. But does anyone know which fic I got that from?

Naruto from another fic: I know _who_ you got it from, jabroni.

SHIT! Ok, look, I was just making a reference.

Other Naruto: I'm still mad.

Think of it this way, you'll get a bunch of horny fangirls who want to fuck you after reading that and your story, ok? That means about 20 times the sex.

Other Naruto: Hmmm...Do I still get to kill you?

NO! Besides, you can't kill me. I will exist as long as there is pie in the world. Also, if I wanted to, I could make you dress up in a tutu, shout "I'm a pretty ballerina", swirl around, and then start fucking Sasuke. You want that?

Other Naruto: Damn...You're one sick son of a bitch... *grins* I LIKE IT!

HELL YEAH, YOU DO! Mind if I start using the word jabroni?

Other Naruto: Yes, I do mind.

You'll get five dollars each time the word is used.

Other Naruto: Deal! You just made a deal with the devil.

Actually, it's more like _you_ just made a deal with _God_.

Aaron: _I'm_ God!

Other Naruto: *jerks thumb at Aaron* Who's this jabroni?

He's God. If he wanted to, he could snap you in half in one move.

Aaron: He's not lying. I'm more powerful than 6 Overlords.

Other Naruto: Shit...Ok, look, I won't call you a jabroni.

Aaron: Damn straight you won't.

By the way, what does Yamato think of me?

Other Naruto: Yamato? He's actually excited about sex.

Figures.

Yamato: _HEY, I HEARD THAT!_

Oh shut up, you overpowered sword. I have one that could kick your ass so hard, your blade will bend in half.

Yamato:_..._

That did it. Anyways, on with the chapter! Chapter 56:

**DIVINE OVERKILL: WHY IT'S GOOD TO BE GOD!**

Second to last thing: Those characters—that other Naruto and the sword named Yamato—are from the fic "Everyone has Darkness". Be warned, it has mature content not suitable for children under the age of...Wait a minute! What the fuck am I saying! I don't give a shit if it's unsuitable for children under some age!

One last thing. I HAVE REACHED OVER 100 REVIEWS! YAYYYYY! As a reward for being the best fucking reviewers ever—and guessing that some of you want something to jack off to or shit like that—I have decided this:

...

FUCK THE CONTEST! You're all gonna get a lemon to read in this chapter!

Other Naruto: Who the fuck are you talking to?

The readers...

Other Naruto: Oh.

...

On with the show!

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

"G-G-G-God?" The leader of the Iwa-nin asked. Aaron raised an eyebrow.

"Do I need to repeat myself?" He asked them. They were silent. Aaron sighed and facepalmed.

"I already know one terrorist who fits the stereotype of blondes. Of course, Iwa has to have 1000 others of that kind." Then he grinned.

"I am one whose looks make women wet at the sight; I am the one who attacks with divine justice; I AM THE ONE WHOSE MERE NAME STRIKES FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF HIS ENEMIES, LETTING THEM KNOW THAT THEY'RE FUCKED! I AM...GOD!" That cued the passing out of about 20 more Iwa Jounin. Aaron smirked.

"The 70 of you in this room still conscious are brave..." Suddenly, five copies of him faded into existence beside him, forming a straight line.

"But courage is only a bit of what you need..." The six Aarons leapt at the 70 Iwa-nin, and began pummeling them into mangled, bloody lumps. The ones he didn't pummel—who were unconscious—he decapitated. When he reached the leader (whom he purposely saved for last), the Jounin said,

"Please...spare me..."

"Why should I?" Aaron asked.

"You come into my home village without warning or motives for peace, invade the residence of said village's leader, whom I spent the whole night arguing with the Shinigami to get back, try to kill him, and you expect me to spare you?" The man was shaking where he stood, too scared to answer.

"I think I will let you live." Aaron said. The man let out a held breath.

"But you will be the _only_ one to live." The hairs on the back of the man's neck stood on end, and he flinched at Aaron's tone.

"You will report back to your leader, and say..." Aaron leaned into the Jounin's ear, and whispered something. The shinobi's eyes widened, but he nodded, quivering. Aaron then snapped his fingers, and the man disappeared.

"What did you do?" Minato asked.

"I simply transported him about five miles from his village."

"Oh."

"..."

"..."

"Time to get the rest." Aaron said happily. Minato moved to get up, but Aaron raised his hand and said,

"I can handle it. The Hokage shouldn't have to lift a finger." Minato sat back down.

"I'll be back in about a few minutes to tell you what happened from after you died to today." With that, Aaron zoomed into the hallway in the form of a black streak. Minato blinked once...then twice...then a third time. Then he asked,

"Did he just use the Hiraishin?"

**Outside in the Hallway**

An Iwa-nin was holding Shizune by her hair while another slapped her.

"Be quiet, bitch!" The one who slapped her said.

"But..." She weakly protested. The Jounin slapped her again.

"I SAID BE QUIET!" Shizune stopped talking.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk..." Aaron said from the opposite side of the hallway. The two Jounin stared at him while Shizune lifted her head up and gasped at who she saw.

"Where's your honor?"

"..."

"..."

"What?"

"I _said_, where's your honor?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHERE'S MY HONOR!" The Jounin who had slapped Shizune shouted.

"You attacked a virtually harmless—to you—woman when she could not defend. Your honor is gone." He said, growing a cold look.

"I HAVE MY FUCKING HONOR, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Aaron chuckled.

"Funny, we seem about the same height, and yet, you call me little." The Jounin became outraged.

"WHY YOU—"

"Calm down, Haido! He's just trying to get in your head. All these Konoha _bastards_ are like that." The other Iwa-nin said, spitting out the word "bastards".

"Fine, Rya." Haido said reluctantly.

"A bastard I may be, but you both are honor-less kuso(1) who shame their families." Aaron retorted. That got both of the shinobi's blood boiling.

"THAT'S IT! I'M GONNA KILL HIM!" Rya and Haido shouted at the same time. They both charged at him, which proved to be their biggest mistake. Aaron smirked. Rya and Haido pulled out a kunai each, intent on stabbing Aaron. They shoved their kunai into his stomach, only for him to fade out of existence.

"What the—" He reappeared behind them and chopped off their heads in one swift blow.

...

_With his hand_...

Aaron walked over to Shizune and helped her up.

"You alright?" He asked her.

"Y-Yeah..." She suddenly clutched her ribs, and spat out a glob of blood. Aaron chuckled.

"No you aren't. Let me just check really quickly." His hands had yellow glow surround them, and he moved them around her ribs for a moment.

"You have three broken ribs and a bruised lung." He stated with a whistle. Then Aaron raised an eyebrow at her.

"What'd they do to you, Shizune?"

"They kicked me in the chest many times and kept slapping me." She was starting to tear up. He nodded.

"I'll heal you." His hands glowed blue this time, and he moved them over her chest. Shizune let out a wistful sigh.

"How did that feel?" He asked her.

"Like heaven..." Aaron chuckled.

"Well, that's what it feels like when the god of medics heals you."

"I'll teleport you to Tsunade's house. Tell her I ordered you to stay with her for the night." Shizune nodded. Aaron snapped his fingers, and she disappeared. Then he grinned and phased out of existence.

**1 Floor Down**

"Please! Don't hurt her!" A woman cried out. She had brought her daughter to work today, only for a thousand Iwa-nin to appear and take everyone hostage.

"Shut up!" The one holding her daughter captive yelled, moving his arm to slap her face. However, Aaron appeared right in front of him and caught the arm with which he intended to slap her.

"Shi-ne." He merely said. Aaron's hand tightened like a snake around the arm, making the Iwa shinobi cry out. There was sixty-nine other Iwa shinobi in that area with them, and they all were surprised at how he appeared out of nowhere. Aaron quite literally crushed the man's arm, leaving it mangled and bloody; broken bones protruding from his skin.

"Scum like you make me sick." He snarled. Aaron then grabbed the man's head, slammed it into the ground, and pile-drived his stomach, making the shinobi howl in pain. Aaron then grabbed the man by the throat, and tossed him up in the air. He then delivered a series of rapid vertical spin kicks to the man's back, sending him up until he hit the ceiling. Then the man descended, and Aaron finished him off with a punch in the gut, sending him through the floor and down to the bottom of the Hokage Tower, collapsing into a bloody mess.

"I call that..." He grinned sadistically.

"**Divine Overkill**..." Aaron bent down to the little girl trembling beside him.

"You alright?" He asked her. The girl nodded shakily. He then helped her over to her mom, and teleported them away. Minato came running down the stairs.

"Is everything ok?" He asked. The Iwa shinobi almost immediately shit their pants and gasped.

"IT'S THE YONDAIME!"

"Get all the innocents to safety." Aaron ordered, looking at Minato out of the corner of his left eye. His gaze then drifted to the shinobi in front of him. A pain-promising smirk appeared on his face.

"I'll deal with them."

"How come you get to?" Minato asked.

"You already got a turn taking down ten thousand by yourself. Don't be selfish." Minato pouted, but said,

"Fine." The Fourth then disappeared via Hiraishin and began getting the innocents to safety.

"Phew! We don't have to deal with him!" One of the shinobi said. The look in Aaron's eyes made his blood turn cold.

"No, but you'll have to deal with someone _much_ worse." That look...It was one of bloodlust...of sadistic-ness...of...annoyance?

"You know...I was going to go home after talking with the Hokage...do you know what would have awaited me there?" Aaron asked.

"Um...no...what?" One of the shinobi asked.

"My beautiful fiancé, who was going to have sex with me..." His eyes were then filled with anger.

"BUT YOU MOTHER_FUCKERS_ COCK-BLOCKED ME!" Aaron screamed. They all flinched.

"And do you know what happens...when you cock-block a god?" He asked in a calm voice.

"No..."

"SHIT HITS THE GODDAMN FAN!" He moved around in a black streak, and one by one the shinobi were cut into pieces. He did the same with the shinobi that the Yondaime had not managed to kill yet. The entire tower was covered in blood on the inside.

"There we go. All done." He said.

"That was one hell of a fight." Minato commented.

"Yeah...it was awesome..." Aaron clapped his hands together.

"I'll just clean up this mess..." He gave a flick of his wrist and all the blood disappeared.

"So are you gonna tell me about Naruto's past?" Minato asked him.

"Sorry, but I'll have to tell you tomorrow. I'm flat out tired and I need to relax." Minato nodded.

"Go ahead." Aaron then teleported away.

**Aaron's House**

Anko and Konan were both splayed about on a chair each, unconscious from drinking. Aaron reappeared in the middle of the room.

'_Why're they asleep?_' He thought. Aaron shook both their shoulders. Anko stirred first.

"Hey, stud." She said.

"Hey. I'm back." Konan was still unconscious.

"Mmmm...Just like that..." She mumbled. Konan then placed her hand on her right breast and started fondling it. Aaron raised an eyebrow.

"I'll just wake her up." He went over to Konan and shook her shoulder, making her eyes open.

"Huh?..." She asked. Konan was staring up at Aaron's face. Then she realized where her hand was and her eyes widened. Her face then turned a light pink shade.

"Oh jeez..." Konan mumbled.

"Wanna make that dream a reality?" Aaron asked. She 'Eep!'d.

"I'll take that as a yes." He picked up both Konan and Anko and slung them over his shoulders.

"Hey, where are you going?" Anko asked.

"Jinso!" Aaron yelled.

**RIGHT!**

**BGM ACTIVATED: Marvin Gaye: Let's get it on**

**2 Hours Later**

"Damn, that was good..."

_Chapter...END!_

Listen people. I know this chapter originally had a lemon in it. But, due to the dumbass owners of trying to ruin us author's lives with incessant banning and removal, I had to remove it. IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!

Well, anyways, you all know what to do.

(1) Kuso: Means fuck or shit. In this case it means shit.

Until next time...

R & MOTHAFUCKING R!

**~Jinso** **^3^**


	57. To the Land of Fangs we go!

I'M JUST GONNA SKIP THE INTRODUCTIONS AND GET RIGHT TO THE CHAPTER THIS TIME EXCEPT FOR ONE THING!

Dutchy: Thank you for the glomp. If you and others review, I'll give you Itachi, Deidara, Kisame, and Hidan!

Weasel: You wouldn't.

Try me, Uchiha.

Hidan: I'LL FUCKING SACRIFICE YOU!

LET'S GO!

Chapter 57:

**TO THE LAND OF FANGS WE GO!**

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

**Half a month later**

Aaron begrudgingly got out of bed at 7:00AM.

"Dammit. I gotta meet my team." He got ready to go, and went to meet his team in the Forest of Death.

"Are we gonna train today?" Kurodou asked when the three arrived.

"Nope. We're going on your first C-Rank!" The three genin jumped for joy.

"Follow me." He then led them to the Hokage Tower. They got all the way up to the Hokage's office, and Aaron knocked on the door.

"Enter." The four walked in.

"Hello Aaron."

"Hello Minato-sama."

"Are you here for a C-Rank?"

"How'd you know?"

"Five other teams have already gone on C-Rank missions."

"Oh. Well could we get one?"

"I've already prepared a mission. Though it's actually a high B-Rank to low A-Rank. I was saving it for a more experienced team, but it's the only one left." His genin were practically back-flipping.

"But I'm sure it'll be fine as long as you're there." Minato pressed a button on his desk, and said,

"Please send Shiri in." The door opened, and in walked a man in a grey vest with a red obi, midnight blue baggy pants, and sandals. He had spiky green hair and sea blue eyes.

"Hi! My name's Shiri!" He said happily.

"Hiroshi Uchiha." Aaron replied casually.

"Nami Jasuhona, Shiri-san." Nami said with a bow.

"Kurodou Shinta!"

"Kushinara Soyazuki." Shiri clapped his hands.

"You all sound like a bunch of great people!"

"Thank you."

"Shiri needs you to escort him back to his village twenty miles from the border inside the Land of Fangs. This is a high B-Rank to low A-Rank mission because there will be enemy shinobi and possible nuke-nin trying to capture him. Apparently, he's wanted for building something."

"We'll make sure he gets back to his village safely." Aaron assured him.

"Great!" Shiri said.

"Let's go." Aaron motioned for them to follow. He, his team, and Shidari went to the gates.

"We're about to set off. Gather what you need, and be back here in 10 minutes."

"Hai!" His team chorused. They ran off quickly, leaving Aaron alone with Shiri.

"So how long have you been a Jounin?" Shiri asked.

"About half a month."

"Really? Should you be leading this mission?" Aaron flipped open a Bingo Book he pulled out of nowhere.

"Hiroshi Uchiha...SSS RANK! You're SSS Rank?"

"One of the strongest shinobi Konoha's ever had. I'm right up there with the Shodai, Madara Uchiha, and the Yondaime."

"Wow." Aaron pulled the Bingo Book back to himself.

"I was given a couple of monikers; The—"

"Sensei!" He was cut off as Kurodou, Nami, and Kushinara came running up with their supplies.

"Everyone ready?" He asked.

"Yep!" They all said.

"Then let's go!" The four ninja hopped into the trees while Shiri took the road.

**4 Hours Later**

"Shiri of the Land of Fangs, you're coming with me!" A man shouted. He was dressed in all black clothing; a black face mask which only revealed his red eyes, a black chestplate and cloth sleeves, and black baggy pants that bunched up at his ankles.

"Really? I am?" Shiri asked.

"PREPARE TO DIE!" The man shouted. He leapt at Uzudari, but stopped in mid-air as a cloaked figure appeared in front of him.

"Who are you!" The figure chuckled, baring a longer than normal canine (the tooth) from the shadows of their hood.

"Me? I'm his guardian." They said with a masculine voice, suggesting they were a "he".

"Some lowlife ninja! Do you know who I am?"

"Kaninsho Rokate, A-Rank nuke-nin of Kaminari no Kuni (Land of Lighting)."

"Exactly! Which means you know you're going to die!" The figure chuckled again.

"No, I'm not going to die." The cloaked person grinned.

"Mangekyo Sharingan." Two Mangekyo eyes appeared from the darkness underneath the hood.

"What the—" The figure cast his cloak away.

"OH, SHIT..." There was Aaron.

"Prepare to be defeated by Konoha's Onyx Devastation!" Kaninsho grinned.

"Well, well, well. Looks like today's my lucky day. I get paid, _and_ I collect that _9 billion_ ryo bounty on your head!" Kaninsho looked behind him.

"Come out fellas! We'll split the money!" 8 other nuke-nin appeared in multiple clouds of smoke behind him.

"Hmph. Nine A-Rank nuke-nin." Aaron grinned.

"I wonder how much money that is." He opened up his Bingo Book and checked.

"_Well_, it's apparently about 4,380,000 Ryo." Aaron put his book away and smiled a smile so evil that the Shukaku—while inside the Gedo Mazu statue—felt an immense sense of pride out of nowhere. Aaron formed a hand seal.

"**Taju Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!**" About 400 clones of him phased into existence all around; some were in the trees, some were in the air, and some were on the ground.

"Take this, bitches! **AMATERASU!**" The 400 Aaron's chorused, drowning the nine nuke-nin (try saying that ten times fast!) in black flames, save for their heads. (How is that possible?) Aaron quickly sealed each of their heads away. His genin were in awe, and Shiri was wondering what would happen if he made Aaron angry. He turned back to his team and said,

"Let's go." They leaped back into the trees and ran to the Land of Fangs.

**Meanwhile in Iwagakure...**

The only person left from the attack on the Hokage Tower ran into the Tsuchikage's office.

"Tsuchikage-sama!" He cried.

"What? What is it?"

"Arindo Ename, reporting the attack on the Hokage Tower."

"What happened? Where's the rest of the Jounin?"

"They were taken out. The mission failed horribly."

"WHAT?" The Tsuchikage yelled in outrage.

"How were 1000 of my best Jounin defeated?"

"Somehow, the Yondaime was brought back from the dead."

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"I saw it with my own eyes, sir, and I assure you, it was not an illusion."

"Then how were you all taken out? He couldn't have killed you all with so many hostages!"

"It wasn't him who killed us. It was a single man."

"Who!"

"This man...He was the most frightening thing I'd ever seen...Completely normal in every aspect; regular hair, regular clothes, regular form..."

"Then what was so frightening about him?"

"He killed 99 Jounin by himself using only one jutsu..."

"WHAT!"

"He said he was God...He brought the Yondaime back by himself, and he wasn't even fazed...He even gave the Yondaime an order, and the Yondaime wasn't angry. He did as he was told. The Yondaime even acted as though they were on equal levels of authority."

"I think I know who you mean..."

"But that's not just it. He killed the other 900 Jounin that were there, I'm pretty sure."

"..."

"Tsuchikage-sama?"

"Get every shinobi ranked Chunin and up in the village ready... We go to war against Konoha in three days."

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"We must make sure the Yellow Flash cannot harm the village."

"Hai." Arindo ran off.

**The Land of Fangs**

"So this is your house?" Aaron asked. They were standing in front of a two-story townhouse.

"Yes, it is."

"Are you sure you want us to stay with you? We don't want to impose."

"It's no trouble. You all are helping me, so I insist." The four gave a bow.

"Thank you." Shiri took out a key and put it in the door's lock. He opened the door. Inside was a woman with long brown hair standing in a kitchen and three small children running around in a living room. There was two boys, one with brown hair and the other with red hair, and a little girl with brown hair.

"I'm home!" Shiri called out. The four people inside looked at him, and the children shouted,

"Daddy!" They ran up to Shiri and glomped him. All three children looked at Aaron with big eyes, and the one with red hair asked,

"Daddy, who's the big man?" Shiri chuckled.

"Charu, this is Hiroshi. He's going to protect us." The three children looked at Aaron happily.

"Is he strong?" Asked the little girl.

"He's very strong, Hina."

"Yay!" Shiri turned to Aaron and the three genin.

"These are my children; Charu, Hina, and Karo." Aaron looked down at the children with a warm smile. He looked back up, and apparently the woman who had been inside the house was in front of him.

"Hello, Hiroshi-san. My name is Yuna."

"Hello, Yuna-san." Aaron felt a tug on his pants, and he looked downwards to see Karo looking up at him.

"Um...Mister ninja, are you really gonna keep us safe?" The boy asked. Aaron got down to eye level with him.

"I'm gonna do everything I can to keep you safe. That's the promise of a lifetime. And I always keep my promises."

**In a less cooler and MUCH less epic universe**

"Achoo! Hey Sakura-chan, who d'ya think's talking about me?"

"Be quiet, Naruto-baka!"

**Back in the more epic of those universes**

"You guys are probably gonna be bored with what's going on, so I'm gonna get you a friend to play with." He made the hand signs, and slammed his palm on the ground. A little cloud of smoke no bigger than two feet appeared, and behind it was a little wolf cub, looking around with big eyes. The three children ran over there, and began practically strangling the little cub by playing with it.

"Be careful, he's very young." Aaron turned back to Shiri.

"Would you mind showing me what you've been building?"

**Back in Konoha**

Pretty much every kunoichi that was mainly shown in the anime and manga was at a females only bar. Anko, Kurenai, May, Arine, Tsunade, Shizune, Yugao Uzuki, Tsume Inuzuka, and Hana Inuzuka were all gathered around a table.

"I gotta tell you guys, Aaron's probably the best guy I've ever met." You would thought Anko was drunk, but you'd have to know that she was a maudlin drunk, so she would've been depressed.

"He's caring, he's sweet, and he's a Viking in the sack. He can pillage my village any time he wants."

"Wow. I wish I had a guy like that." May commented.

"Plus, he's great around kids. When he meets one, he acts as though they're his own child. He gets this warm look in his eyes, like when you're looking back at a great memory you have, and it's like the best thing in the world."

"Really?" Kurenai asked her.

"Yeah." May answered.

"You wanna know why that is?"

"Why?" Tsume questioned.

"He once told me that about three days before his 16th birthday, he saw a five-year old girl getting raped in an alley." They pretty much eye-widened at that.

"It bothered him for those three days. He didn't speak to anyone; he didn't do anything; he was locked up inside his house. But after those three days, he came out to celebrate his birthday. He didn't look really happy. When it came time for him to make a wish for his sweet 16, he only wished for one thing. He wanted to be able to protect the innocence of every child he could. He had pretty much the same amount of happiness he does now before that day, but something changed about him." They were shocked at that.

"I mean, considering his childhood, it only added to the garbage pile."

"His childhood?" Kurenai asked her.

"What happened in his childhood?" May's expression instantly grew more somber and dark.

"He didn't tell me or Rich much. All he said was, 'Her door was knocked down three times.' By the words 'Her door', I can only assume he meant his mother."

"Why his mother?"

"Well, I guess I should say his _adoptive_ mother. My father was a police officer who worked on three separate cases involving Aaron's adoptive mother. Three counts of rape, two counts of attempted rape."

"Jeez..." Tsume muttered.

"She was never the same after those three times. In fact, his adoptive mother went into a coma from the shock." May's eyes drifted down.

"She never woke up." There was a silence between all of them for at least a few minutes.

"But how could he still be so happy?"

"I didn't know for the next five years. He was reclusive; rarely social. He even confided in me and Rich that he had thought about suicide on multiple occasions." Aaron had thought about suicide?

"I asked him one day, 'Then why do you keep living?'" An image appeared showing Aaron and May as 17-year-olds, standing in the street of their neighborhood.

**Image**

"_And he answered, 'I honestly don't know. Every time I walk around in my house, I see pictures of her. My father is all I have left, and even then, he's getting extremely ill. But I keep feeling like I have a purpose. I'm supposed to do something great; something amazing, but I don't know what it is. When I think about suicide, images of you, and Rich, and my mother, and my father all float around in my head. You and Rich would never be the same. My mother wouldn't have wanted me to kill myself over her. My father would want me to keep fighting 'till there's nothing left to do but give one last cough and die. Then a voice appears in my head. It says, 'Keep trying. Keep going until the tracks stop. You can do it. I know you can. Never give up. Don't let your friends down!' And I keep on trying. But what if there isn't a purpose for me? What if I'm a used toy? A toy that is broken and old and will be thrown away by a little child? What will I do then? I guess...I won't know unless I try...'_"

**Reality**

"His father was on the verge of death in the hospital one day. Aaron, Rich, his grandma, his grandpa, and I were all standing by his hospital bed. His heart rate was slowly dimming down, getting slower and slower each second. Finally, the line went flat, and all you could hear was a long beep. Aaron was shaking, and tears were falling straight on his father's corpse. The doctors had to drag him out of the room, with Aaron still screaming, "DAD! NOOO! NOOO!" over and over. That image is burned in my mind." Everyone there was silent. This was a whole new side of Aaron they had never seen.

"The rest of us paid our respects, and left. We were told though, that as the doctors were covering up the body, you could hear a twinkling sound. Suddenly, his heart somehow started beating again. Aaron's dad had sat straight up with a gasp. The doctors ran out of the room and shouted, 'He's alive!' Aaron was the first one back in. As we got in there, we could see Aaron hugging his father with an iron grip. 'Aaron, calm down! You're gonna make him die again!' Rich had said." Every person sitting at that table was amazed. Aaron had managed to bring his adoptive father back to life without meaning to.

"I swear, if that hadn't happened, Aaron would've probably killed himself right then and there." This was a lot for all of them to take in. This was really the cheerful, happy, make-jokes-and-kick-ass Aaron they knew?

"But it still wasn't enough. Aaron had done that when he was 18. Three years later, in the middle of his last year at college, his father died of blood cancer. That was the final blow; the last kick to the downed man. I went in his room one day, and saw he had plans on how to kill himself, set for the day we came here. He was going to slit both of his wrists, then his legs, and finally his throat."

"If we had never met the Akatsuki in that other dimension, Aaron would be dead, we'd have never met anyone here, and everything would be different."

"He had a mask covering his face since then. A stone-set mask. Only Rich and I could tell if he was faking his happy emotions. His life had no purpose until he met Anko." Images flashed through their heads of Aaron; him smiling, standing with his best friends, in battle, partying. How could he be faking happiness for so long?

"The only times he was truly happy was when something great happened; a cousin being born, a temporary time of peace. Things like that." Everyone was silent.

"It only got even harder for him when he found out he had to give judgment for dead people. He only told me a little once. 'It's hard, seeing so many dead children. Their parents hated them, so they threw them off a bridge. Or they were raped and then killed. It gets burned into your mind forever.' He said to me." There was nothing to be said about that.

"It's also harder to _kill_ someone. Aaron can _feel_ their consciousness. Every time he kills someone, it's like a flame slowly going out. He feels it dimming away ever so slowly. You see the life fade away in their eyes; bright colors that once meant something dim and dull forever. The final breath as their soul leaves them."

"He gets called a demon every day. He's endured so much in his life, and I honestly don't know just how the hell he's still going."

"I can't believe that's the guy we all know." Anko commented.

"Did you know...that he never had a girlfriend before Anko?" Their heads shot in her direction with wide eyes.

"Really?"

"Yep. Not a single person ever asked him out, and no one ever accepted him asking _them_ out."

"He wasn't considered ugly. No, it wasn't that. He was considered a _freak_." They all gawked.

"He could sense what people were thinking just by looking at their eyes, and he once made a chair fall on a bully as a kid. He also accidentally lit a girl's hair on fire in 7th grade with his mind. The story of "The Psychic Monster" was passed around at every school. No matter where he went, he was ridiculed and bullied. We were his only friends. Everyone hated us for it, but we didn't care. He was our friend, and we always stood up for him." They remained silent.

"How can he keep going? Why does he keep fighting?" Kurenai asked.

"I don't know. But if he keeps fighting, it has to be for something worth it."

_Chapter...END!_

Did you like it? This time, you got a look into Aaron's past. It's full of shit, huh? But you'll find out the reason he keeps fighting soon enough! See ya next time!

**P.S:** I will be changing my pen name by Monday, November 07, to just "Jinso".

**~Jinso ^3^**


	58. Shiri's Project: A YuGiOh Duel?

HEY! IT'S TIME FOR CHAPTER 58! LET'S GET IT ON!

Chapter 58:

**SHIRI'S PROJECT; A YU-GI-OH DUEL?**

Let us go forth!

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

"This is what you were working on?" Aaron asked. In front of him was a duel disk like the ones used in the Yu-Gi-Oh anime.

"Yep! It's my pride and joy!"

"Might I ask how you got the idea for it?"

"You see, two years ago, I was hiking in the woods near here when I heard a loud noise coming from an area nearby. So I ran to it. There I found an almost exact copy of this in a smoking crater. So I took it home. I kept tinkering in order to create a perfect copy of it. It had one little playing card in it that I've kept all this time. Unfortunately, when I went to show the machine I had discovered to Yuna's parents, it was crushed by bandits."

"I think I can help you with it...I actually met a guy two years ago (when he was in hell and was bored) who had one of these. I was given one and a whole deck of cards for helping him get his grandpa out of a TV he was trapped in." (referring to Yu-Gi-Oh anime)

"Really? You'd do that?" Aaron chuckled.

"Sure. Plus, if everything goes right, the shinobi world will have a new weapon to experiment with."

"Great! Let's get started!"

"Well, first, can I see that card you found in the machine?"

"Sure..." Shiri went to a safe and opened it. He pulled out an old Yu-Gi-Oh card and gave it to Aaron.

'_Magician Girl Knight...it's been a long time..._' He thought with a smile as he looked upon the card. Depicted was a Dark Magician Girl, but with knight armor and a sword. She seemed to be winking at Aaron.

"You alright?" Shiri asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just...*sigh*...reminiscing..." Aaron handed the card back to Shiri.

"Well, stop reminiscing and let's get building!"

"Right!"

**3 Hours Later**

"I'm booooored! Where's Hiroshi-sensei?" Kurodou whined.

"Be quiet, Kurodou. He's helping Shiri-san with his project." Nami ordered. Suddenly, the door leading to Shiri's workshop opened, and Aaron walked out, wiping his forehead with a rag.

"Phew! We're finally done." He announced. Everyone gathered to see what they had built. Shiri walked out with the duel disk he had shown Aaron on his arm, while holding another one with his hands.

"Here you go! You've earned it!" He said. Shiri gave the duel disk to Aaron. Aaron accepted it with a bow.

"Could I see that card again?" He asked. Shiri pulled out the Magician Girl Knight card.

"This one?"

"Yeah." Aaron was handed the card.

"Let's see what happens if I do this..." He mumbled. Aaron put the card on his duel disk's field in attack mode, and a face-up giant card appeared out of nowhere.

"Whoa!" Kurodou cried out. Out off the card came the character depicted in the card's photo.

"Hello, Aaron." She said.

"Hello, Meiyo." He replied.

"It's been far too long."

"Yes it has."

"Uh, sensei? Can you explain this?" Nami asked.

"The project Shiri was working on was this thing called a duel disk. When you play these Duel Monsters© cards, the monsters come to life...well, sort of. Meiyo is a special kind of card. Each person has a card that they can communicate with. That card is the person's partner, and they'll normally have a special bond with it. Meiyo was the first Duel Monsters card I received."

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FEAR THE LINE IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"_I play Magician Girl Knight in attack mode!" Aaron shouted. He was in that tournament place held by Pegasus in the Yu-Gi-Oh anime._

_**000**_

_Magician Girl Knight_

_Level: 4_

_Type: Warrior/ Spellcaster_

_Attribute: Light_

_ATK: 2200_

_DEF: 1700_

_Effect: When a monster is destroyed by an effect, you can Special Summon Magician Girl Knight from your deck, hand, or graveyard._

_2__nd__ Effect: When Magician Girl Knight is attacked by a Dragon or Dinosaur-type monster, she can gain 600 ATK points for each monster on the opponent's field._

_**000**_

"_I lay two cards face-down, and end my turn!" The other duelist hmphed._

"_I tribute my Zombie Dragon and Mad Sword Beast in order to summon Blue Eyes White Dragon in Attack Mode!" A giant shining dragon appeared in a between a Beta the Magnet Warrior and a Panther Warrior._

"_Now I attack your Magician Girl Knight with Blue Eyes White Dragon!" The dragon let out a torrent of flames._

"_Not so fast! I activate the trap card, "Power Cube"! Due to your monster's attack being higher than Magician Girl Knight's, she gains attack equal to the difference between her and your monster's ATK points, so she gains 800 ATK points!" Magician Girl Knight's ATK points grew to 3000._

"_But that's not all! Due to her effect, she gains 600 ATK points for every monster on your field!" Magician Girl Knight's ATK points grew to 4800._

"_Now then, attack Beta the Magnet Warrior!" Magician Girl Knight slashed through the magnet creature, ending the duel._

"_Yahoo! We did it!" Aaron cried out. Yugi Muto walked by Aaron, and Aaron handed him a card._

"_Use this. It'll get your grandpa back." Yugi nodded. He went on to win the duel and free his grandfather. As a thank-you, Aaron was given a whole deck, going with Magician Girl Knight."_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~STOP FEARING THE LINE...FOR NOW...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"And that's the story." His genin were shocked. He literally visited another dimension?

"Now, let's see if I can get my old deck here..." He flicked his wrist, and a Yu-Gi-Oh deck appeared in his hand.

"Cool!" Kurodou shouted.

"How can you do that?" Shiri asked.

"I'm not one to show and tell that often." Aaron merely replied. He flicked his wrist again after inserting his deck into the duel disk, and another deck appeared in his hand. He handed it to Shiri.

"What say we duel one last time before we leave?" Shiri nodded.

"I read an instructions manual for dueling that came along with the disk, so I should be fine." They went outside and separated.

"DUEL!" They both shouted. Their duel disks activated.

**000**

Aaron: 4000LP

Shiri: 4000LP

**000**

"I'll go first." Shiri said. He drew five cards.

"I'll play Oxygeddon in attack mode." A flying dinosaur made of green whirlwinds appeared.

"Then I'll place two cards facedown and end my turn."

"It's my move!" Aaron drew his cards.

"First, I'll play Garoth, Lightsworn Warrior in Attack mode."

"Then I'll play the card "Black Pendant", and equip it onto Garoth." A small pendant appeared around Garoth's neck.

"Finally, I'll place one card facedown and end my turn."

"I draw."

"I'll activate the spell card, "Riryoku" first!" A small orb appeared near Garoth and sucked out half of his energy, cutting his attack in half, and transferring it to Oxygeddon.

"Now, Oxygeddon, attack Garoth, Lightsworn Warrior!" The dinosaur swiped Garoth and destroyed him, doing 1800 damage to Aaron's life points. The effect of Black Pendant activated, and Shiri took 500 damage.

**000**

Aaron: 2200LP

Shiri: 3500LP

**000**

"I end my turn."

"I draw!" Aaron announced.

"I play Wolf Cub in defense mode." Nami, Kushinara, Hina, and Yuna had stars in their eyes as a little wolf cub appeared on the playing field.

**000**

Wolf Cub

Level: 2

Type: Beast

Attribute: Light

ATK: 300

DEF: 500

Effect: Whenever Wolf Cub is destroyed, its original owner can special summon Big Bad Daddy Wolf in attack position.

**000**

"I place on card facedown and end my turn."

"My turn."

"Oxygeddon, destroy Wolf Cub." The little pup was destroyed, and its effect was activated.

"I special summon Big Bad Daddy Wolf in attack mode." A giant wolf appeared that was about the same size as Tasogare.

**000**

Big Bad Daddy Wolf

Level: 10

Type: Beast/ Beast Warrior

Attribute: Dark

ATK: 2500

DEF: 2800

Effect: When a spell card is used on Big Bad Daddy Wolf, once every three turns, it can attack twice.

**000**

"I end my turn." Shiri said.

"I activate the spell card "Megamorph", which allows me to double my monster's ATK if my life points are lower than yours." Big Bad Daddy Wolf's ATK was doubled to 5000.

"Now then, Big Bad Daddy Wolf, attack Oxygeddon!" The wind dinosaur was destroyed and Shiri lost 2025 LP.

**000**

Aaron: 2200

Shiri: 1475

**000**

"I activate Big Bad Daddy Wolf's special effect. Attack Shiri directly!" The giant wolf lunged and ended the duel.

"Damn, I didn't think holograms would hurt so much." Shiri said. Yuna covered her children's ears when he swore.

"Well, it looks like we'd best be off, Shiri!" Aaron said. The four waved goodbye and headed for Konoha.

_Chapter...END!_

Two chapters in one day? I am on a roll! Now there's a Yu-Gi-Oh bit implemented in here, so that's fun! By the way, the cards I described (levels, ATK, DEF, and such) were made up by me. They are copyrighted, by the way. War is on the horizon what will happen? Find out next time!

**~Jinso** **^3^**


	59. I JUST WANTED TO GO TO THE BEACH!

OHAYO! NAMAE WA JINSO-KUN DESU!

...

You might not remember what that means...

HI! MY NAME IS JINSO-KUN!

I was formerly Jinsokuna wa mada yasashii, but I decided that was too long of a pen name, so I changed it!

I AM NOW JINSO-KUN, STILL THE CONQUEROR OF FATE, THE MASTER OF PWNAGE, AND THE GUY SHIKAMARU _WISHES_ HE WAS! I'M _THAT_ LAZY!

...

But I still type my stories every day for two reasons.

It is my FAVORITE thing to do! Especially since I'm not a sports person.

I enjoy making the readers (that's you all) happy with my comedy, action, adventure, drama, and REFERENCES!

Here's a little bit of news about my day!

Today at school, we were playing a game of flag football, and the boys were separated from the girls. If you didn't want to play competitively, you could do practice throwing. So I was practicing with some friends, when this douche named Alfredo starts chucking a football at me for no reason. The guy is a midget, but he's got a bodybuilder's strength! He hit me on the right side of my face, my right ear, my left wrist, my right thigh, and that one place where my future children are stored. Now, that normally hurts a guy, and I'M BEING COMPLETELY HONEST HERE, but I literally just shook it off. Getting hit in the balls didn't even hurt that much! My friends saw that, and one of them said, "That's just not right" at how I didn't even flinch when I got hit _down _there. I GOT BALLS O' STEEL!

...

Now let's get on with the chapter!

Chapter 59:

**I JUST WANTED TO GO TO THE BEACH!**

**PLAYERS, START YOUR ENGINES!**

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

**3 Days Later**

Aaron and his team landed down in front of the gates. He presented himself and the genin to the Chunin who were guarding, and they entered and reported to the Hokage.

"So the mission was a success?"

"Yep. We got him there safely, and I helped him with his project."

"What _was_ his project, anyways?"

"Sorry, but I promised him I wouldn't tell. I also promised that my genin wouldn't tell. He wants it to be a secret." Minato nodded.

"People do need to have their privacy." A question popped into Aaron's mind.

"I promised my genin that after our first C-Rank or higher mission that I would take them to the beach, along with some friends, is that alright?"

"The beach? I suppose it would be okay, but you'd have to speak with the other Jounin senseis."

"Alright. Thank you." He turned along with his genin and they left. He went to ask the other Jounin, and unfortunately, they all said no.

"Sorry guys, but you can't bring along any friends with you when we go to the beach."

"Awwwww!"

"I know, but the other Jounin won't allow it."

"Now I need you guys to get packed and—" He was interrupted by an Iwa-nin zooming past him, cackling, with two ANBU following.

'_Did that Iwa-nin have long blonde hair?_' He thought.

"Hang on, I'll check that out." He rushed, following the two ANBU to an alley. There stood the Iwa-nin, and to Aaron's chagrin, it was Deidara.

"Deidara?" He asked. The blonde terrorist cackled again.

"I'm not the real Deidara, but that's not the only surprise! Iwa is going to take the Yellow Flash down and make sure he stays down! We march to war today!" 'Deidara' opened his cloak, revealing about 5,000 explosive notes stuck to his body.

"I'm a clone, but I'm also ART! BECAUSE ART IS A BANG! **KATSU**!" Right as the explosion was triggered, Aaron put up a shield of light around 'Deidara', covering up the explosion, but the ground still shook and the noise was still heard. The entire village shook, with citizens crying out.

"ANBU! Take care of any citizens that were harmed. I'll inform the Hokage!" The two ANBU, Bird and Otter nodded, then sped off. Aaron made a hand sign and teleported into the Hokage's office.

**Hokage's Office**

"...And that's what happened." Minato stood straight up out of his chair.

"We have to prepare! Get the Jounin and Chunin ready!" Aaron shook his head.

"I'm sorry, but I'm needed elsewhere. I'll join in at the right time." Minato was surprised, but nodded. Aaron then teleported off.

**Unknown Location**

"Meiyu, are you sure this will work?"

"Absolutely. You have to believe in the heart of the cards and it will."

"Yeah, yeah, I got the 'Heart of the Cards' speech from Yugi a couple of years ago." Meiyu scowled in a cute way.

"You know, you could just go with it like a _regular_ epic character would." Aaron rolled his eyes.

"Come on! Doesn't it get a little old always talking about 'The Heart of the Cards' during a preparation scene?" He asked.

"Maybe for you. I find it enjoyable that little kids get inspired by believing in yourself so you can do anything." She crossed her arms over her chest, which might I add in a FACTUAL, AND **NON-PERVERSE** way, was well-endowed. I'm not a pervert, I'm a lecher. There's a difference. I don't take thongs and bras, or grope someone out of nowhere. I just make perverted jokes. **BACK TO THE STORY!**

"Fine. The next time there's an epic preparation scene, we'll do the 'Heart of the Cards' shit, okay?"

"Okay." Aaron's pulled his duel disk out of nowhere and it glowed.

"Now to go get them..." Meiyu disappeared back into her card and he zoomed off.

**Evacuated Kusa no Kuni Territory, 3 Hours Later**

"Dammit, where is he?" Anko cursed as she weaved in between two Iwa-nin. They were standing in territory in Kusa no Kuni, where everyone in the entire land had evacuated so no civilians would be harmed. Pretty much everyone that was in the anime was there. Suddenly, a cry rang out.

"**!**"

(**BGM ACTIVATED: RAISING FIGHTING SPIRIT** (This is the part where you stop reading for a few moments, go to Youtube, and search up this epic song, then read while the music is playing))

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at the sky. A giant golden dragon was charging towards them. Riding on top of Kinkaku was Aaron, standing on the reptile like he was surfing. Kinkaku landed in the middle of the battlefield as everyone backed away from the massive dragon as he touched down. Off his back hopped Aaron, landing in a semi-crouch with his right hand on the ground. He slowly rose up, and said,

"I hope I didn't miss out on the fun. I brought some special guests." Off of Kinkaku someone hopped and landed on Aaron's left.

"Bring it on, fuckers!" Came the delighted voice of a certain silver-haired psychopath. Itachi appeared in a shunshin on Aaron right.

"I won't go easy on you." The blonde terrorist of Iwa appeared in an explosion in front of Hidan and Aaron, between the space that was between those two.

"Art is a BANG!" The bi-polar plant man we all know and love tunneled out of the ground opposite of Deidara.

"We wa**nt some** food n**ow**." Aaron flicked his left wrist, and a gauntlet on it turned into a duel disk.

"Let's do this." The armies charged once more, and Aaron hopped onto Kinkaku, taking off into the sky. He observed the fighting from up above, and after 30 minutes, he said,

"Everyone stop!" Everyone stopped what they were doing, and looked up at him.

"I have a way to determine the outcome of the battle!" He flew down and landed.

"There will be no killing! If anyone from Iwagakure can beat me in a duel, Iwa shall win, and lives will be spared. If I win, Konoha wins, and people's lives will still be spared." Someone spoke up.

"A kenjutsu duel?"

"No." He held up his duel disk.

"Does anyone know how to use one of these?" Aaron asked.

"I do." A voice answered from the Iwa side. The group parted, and a familiar figure walked out. A smirk twitched on Aaron's lips.

"I don't believe it!" Rich cried out.

"Glad to see such a fine duelist here, Seto Kaiba."

_Chapter...END!_

Kaiba is here, and he's probably gonna be a douchebag!

OHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

THE PEOPLE AT SCHOOL ARE MAJOR DOUCHES AND I HATE A LOT OF THEM!

Find out what happens next time...

WHEN I POST THE NEXT CHAPTER!

**PEACE!**

**~Jinso-kun ^3^**


	60. Aaron vs Seto!

JINSO-KUN IS BACK, AND IT'S TIME FOR CHAPTER 60:

**AARON VS SETO!**

Fanfiction, I choose you!

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

"You..." Kaiba said. Aaron smirked.

"So you _do_ remember me."

"If you can't remember my name, it's Aaron."

"..."

"..."

"How were you able to beat me? The only other person who could was Yugi..."

"Yeah, it's sad that Atem is gone from Yugi…Though, he gave me a parting gift for helping beat Malik." Aaron smiled.

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A WILD FLASHBACK APPEARED!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"_Yugi! I know how you can beat Malik!" Aaron shouted._

"_Really?" Yugi/Atem was surprised. Aaron threw a card to Yugi/Atem, who caught it._

"_You can't do that in the middle of a duel!" Malik shouted._

"_Tch. You're using an Egyptian God Card, which is forbidden, so shut up." Aaron retorted. Malik growled. Aaron nodded at Yugi/Atem, and Yugi/Atem nodded back._

"_I play the magic card "1337 Pwnage"! This instantly wipes out your monsters and reduces your life points to one!" Malik looked constipated._

"_There is no such card!" Aaron smirked._

"_There actually is. I found it in an ancient cave and had to duel a spirit for it." A lightning bolt wiped out Ra, and Malik's life points went to 1._

"_I hate you Atem! You shall die some day, and I shall LAUGH!" He snarled._

"_I summon Kuriboh in attack mode!" The famous monster appeared on the field._

"_Kuriboh, attack Malik directly and end the duel!" The little fuzzball slammed into Malik, and he cried out._

"_NOOOOOOOO!"_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE WILD FLASHBACK FAINTED!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"Where was I? Oh, yeah. Actually, another person who beat you was Marik Ishtar. But I beat you because I knew your strategy; get out your three Blue Eyes, and summon Blues Eyes Ultimate." Kaiba's eye twitched.

"But how did you get here? I'm curious as to how."

"My brother found a teleporter."

"Oh yeah. How's Mokuba doing?" Kaiba's eye twitched again.

"He won't stop talking about you."

"Yeah, I left quite an impression."

"MAKE WITH THE FIGHTING ALREADY!" Some random shinobi shouted. Aaron sighed.

"Fine." He put his hands in a ram seal, and an arena rose up from the ground.

"KAIBA-KUN!" A certain voice said. Suddenly Jinso's voice was heard.

**SHIT...IT'S DUTCHY...**

Aaron's eyes widened.

"Kaiba...if you value your prudent virginity—which I KNOW you still have, so don't argue with me—you will RUN." Kaiba's eyes widened. A girl suddenly burst out of the Konoha side and glomped Kaiba.

"KAIBA-KUN!" The usually stoic and arrogant corporation head broke his mask.

"OH DEAR GOD, HELP ME!" He screamed. Aaron pulled Dutchy off of Kaiba with one hand.

"Dutchy, what have you been told about glomping people who don't know who you are?" Aaron asked. Dutchy sighed.

"Not to glomp them..." Aaron nodded.

"Good. Now go find Bakura or something."

"Someone said my name?" Bakura called out. Dutchy leapt out of Aaron's hand.

"BAKURA-KUN!" Bakura's eyes widened.

"OH SHIT!" He zoomed away, with Dutchy hot on his tail. Aaron made a ram seal again, and a bright flash covered the area. Everyone but Aaron blinked once...twice...then three times, and someone asked,

"How long have we just been standing here?" Aaron chuckled to himself.

'_Memory jutsu are fun._' He thought.

"Hey! What if those Konoha _scum_ try to harm us while this is going on?" An Iwa-nin shouted.

"What if those Iwa _douchebags_ try to harm _us_ while this is going on?" Anko retorted. Aaron held up a card, and yet another flash occurred. (Redundant much?)

"**Binding Draw**: No one can attack for three turns. In chronological terms, three hours." Aaron told them.

"NOW GET IN THE ARENA AND TAKE YOUR SEATS!" Aaron yelled in a way reminiscent of Iruka when he taught at the Academy. Everyone scrambled inside, and Meiyo came out of her card.

"Meiyo, can you announce the start of the duel?" Meiyo giggled.

"Sure. You're gonna give that stuck-up fool a run for his money, right?" She asked. Aaron nodded. He gave a mock two-finger salute to Kaiba, and walked to the other side of the arena. Meiyo giggled again, disappeared, and reappeared in an announcer's box.

"Welcome, shinobi of Konoha and Iwa, to the first ever Elemental Nations Duel Monsters duel! My name is Meiyo, and I will announce the start of the duel." The crowd felt the urge to cheer, even though all except for two people didn't know what in the seven firetruckin' hells was going on, and so, they did.

"Entering from the west side, Champion of Iwa, and head of Kaiba Corp., Seto Kaiba!" Iwa cheered as Seto entered, looking stoic as usual.

"And entering from the east side, Champion of Konoha, and duelist supreme, Hiroshi Uchiha!" Konoha cheered as Aaron walked in with the same expression as Kaiba. Like in an epic video game cutscene on a screen, the "screen" was divided diagonally by a rigid slash, and a picture of Aaron crossing his arms was on the right while a picture of Kaiba doing the same thing was on the left. The two pictures slid in opposite directions; Aaron up, Kaiba down, and it went back to the duel.

"Start your duel disks!" The two disks flared to life.

**000**

Kaiba: LP 4000

Aaron: LP 4000

**000**

"Of course, international crises are solved by a children's card game." Aaron commented offhandedly. Kaiba scowled.

"Still as arrogant as ever, huh?" Aaron asked him. The elf got a growl in response.

"Figured as much." A green light signaled the start.

"My move!" Aaron shouted. He drew a card and placed it in his hand.

"I'll start by playing Skilled White Magician in ATK mode." A sorcerer dressed in white and pale, light blue clothes and chest armor was summoned.

"Then I'll place two cards face-down. I end my turn." Two cards shimmered into existence.

"Hmph. My move." Kaiba drew a card.

"I summon La Jinn the Mystical Genie of the Lamp in ATK mode." A green genie with a wispy tail connected to an Arabian lamp appeared.

"Then I'll place a card facedown, and play the trap card **Shadow Spell**. Your monster loses 700 ATK points and cannot attack or change its battle position." Skilled White Magician was instantly held in place by several chains, and was drained of 700 ATK points.

"La Jinn, attack Skilled White Magician." The genie charged at Skilled White Magician.

"Reverse Card, open!" A card popped up, revealing the trap, **Negate Attack**.

"Your monster's attack is negated!"

The Konoha side cheered.

"Hmph. I end my turn."

"Draw!" Aaron added the card to his hand.

"I play the equip card **Black Pendant**! Skill White Magician now gains 500 ATK points!" A pendant appeared around Skilled White Magician's neck.

"Now a spell counter is placed on Skilled White Magician!" A counter with the number one appeared above SWM, then faded away.

"I place two more cards facedown and end my turn."

"My turn."

"I summon Battle Ox in ATK mode." A half-ox, half-man creature with red armor, a red helmet, and an ax appeared on the field.

"I'll place two cards facedown. Now I end my turn."

"Draw!"

"I activate the field spell card **Luminous Spark**! My Skilled White Magician gains 500 ATK and loses 400 DEF!" Skilled White Magician now had 2000 ATK and 1500 DEF.

"Skilled White Magician gains another spell counter!" The counter above said monster appeared again, and changed to a 2.

"Now I'll activate the magic card **Swords of Revealing Light**! Your monsters are unable to attack for three turns! _And_, another spell counter is placed on Skilled White Magician!" The counter once more appeared, and changed to a three, which flashed.

"I now tribute Skilled White Magician in order to summon Buster Blader!" The magician shattered, and out came a warrior in darkly colored armor, hefting a large sword. Shadow Spell was instantly destroyed. Aaron also sent Luminous Spark to the graveyard.

"Now I end my turn."

"My move."

"I activate the magic card **Double Cyclone**. And I destroy Swords of Revealing Light, and my magic card **Spirit Message L**." One of Kaiba's facedown cards was sucked up into a yellow twister while Swords of Revealing Light was sucked up into a red one.

"Now I tribute Battle Ox and La Jinn in order to summon Blue Eyes White Dragon in ATK mode." The two monsters shattered and out came Kaiba's signature monster.

"Buster Blader's effect! He gains 500 ATK points for every dragon on the field!" Buster Blader's ATK went up to 3100.

"I activate the trap card** A Hero Emerges**. Pick a card in my hand." Aaron knew which card Kaiba wanted him to pick.

"I pick the third card from my left." Kaiba revealed it: Blue Eyes White Dragon.

"I special summon Blue Eyes White Dragon in ATK mode." Another dragon appeared on the field.

"Kuso!" Aaron swore. On the inside, though, he was smirking. Buster Blader's ATK points went up to 3600.

**In the Stands**

"Just what the hell is he doing?" Rich yelled. Anko looked at Rich.

"What's wrong?"

"Kaiba's gonna summon this big-ass, motherfucker monster, and Aaron's not doing anything!"

"He'll lose if this keeps up!"

**Back in the Duel**

"Now I end my turn."

"My move!"

"I'll place one monster facedown and end my turn."

"I go. I play the trap card **A Hero Emerges**. Pick another card in my hand."

**Stands**

"OH COME ON!" Rich shouted.

**Duel**

Aaron knew the card Kaiba wanted him to pick again.

"I pick the first card on my right." Blue Eyes White Dragon again.

**Stands**

"MOTHERFUCKER!"

**Duel**

"I special summon Blues Eyes White Dragon in ATK mode and end my turn." Buster Blader's ATK went to 4100

"My turn!"

"I activate the magic card **Hand Destruction**. Both of us discards two cards in our hand, then draws two more." They both threw away two cards and drew.

"Now I end my turn!"

"I play the magic card **Polymerization**! Come forth, Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon!" The three dragons were enveloped in a vortex, and out came a colossal, three headed dragon. Buster Blader's ATK dropped to 3100.

"Now I attack your Buster Blader! **Neutron Blast**!" The dragon raised its heads, and fired a massive blue laser. The laser hit Buster Blader, and the swordsman was destroyed.

**000**

Kaiba: LP 4000

Aaron: LP 2600

**000**

"How do you like the power?" Kaiba asked. Iwa cheered.

"Yeah! Nothing can beat that!" They shouted.

"I end my turn." Aaron chuckled. He placed a hand on his deck. He pulled the top card, and it flashed as he stopped his arm. Aaron looked at the card.

"It's time to end this, Kaiba."

"I activate the facedown trap card **Dragon Capture Jar**! Your Blue Eyes Ultimate is switched into DEF mode!" Konoha started cheering.

"Next I activate **Monster Reborn**, and I bring back Buster Blader!" The swordsman came back, and his attack went to 3100.

"Then I'll play **Swords of Revealing Light**!" Blue Eyes Ultimate was trapped in a prison of glowing swords.

"Facedown, reveal!" The facedown card turned out to be a kind of flaming wolf.

"Meet Fire Wolf God Zeneco!" (**2200 ATK, 2000 DEF, 4 Stars**)

"Finally, I'll use the ritual summoning **Gates of Hell** to create a new warrior—one that can defeat your Blue Eyes Ultimate!" The Iwa side gasped. The two monsters disappeared into iron gates with skulls on them.

"Let the door to Hades open wide as you emerge!

"The lord of eternal pain—Hellfire Overlord Wolvanecro!" Out came a flaming wolf man with horns and demon wings. It was the size of Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon.

**000**

Hellfire Overlord Wolvanecro

Level: 10

Type: Divine Beast/Effect

Attribute: Divine

ATK: ?

DEF: ?

Effect: When summoned, this card gains ATK and DEF points equal to the number of cards in your graveyard plus the number of cards in your hand times 1000.

**000**

**Stands**

"Wait...so that means...!" Rich exclaimed.

**Duel**

"Due to Hellfire Overlord Zare's effect, he gains _10,000_ ATK and DEF points! The monster was powered up to heights that caused the arena to shake.

"Go, Overlord Zare! **HELLFIRE MEGA CRUSHER**!" Aaron shouted. Zare's fist was covered in flames, and he crushed Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon underneath his fist, destroying the monster.

"Ugh!" Kaiba cried out.

**000**

Kaiba: LP 0

Aaron: LP 2600

**000**

"Hmph." Aaron said. He smirked.

"I win." Konoha burst into cheers as Iwa jeered at Aaron.

"The war is over!" Aaron flicked his wrist, and everyone that was a shinobi of Iwa was teleported back. Aaron walked over to Kaiba.

"Nice duel."

"Hmph."

"See ya sometime." Aaron snapped his fingers and Kaiba disappeared.

"Now let's go back to Konoha." He and the Konoha shinobi who were in the war disappeared, and reappeared in said village.

_Chapter...END!_

So did you like this chapter? I included Dutchy because of her comment which asked why she wasn't there to glomp Kaiba. So there you go! I'm thinking of ending the story at 64 chapters. Then I'll make a sequel! YAY!

See ya soon!

**~Jinso ^3^**


	61. Oh Dear Lord: Pregnancy

WELCOME TO THE FIRST OF THE LAST TWO CHAPTERS OF ALL THE BIRDS OF AKATSUKI! GET READY TO RUMBLE!

Yeah, I know I said three chapters in the previous one, but it's actually two. Second-to-last chapter, here we go!

Chapter 61:

**OH DEAR LORD...PREGNANCY...**

Let's git it awwwwn!

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

Aaron woke up to a pair of soft arms around his torso. He looked over and saw Anko laying beside him.

'_What happened last night?_' Then it hit him.

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Mini-Flashback Go!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"_OHHHH KAMI!"_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Mini-Flashback End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

'_Yep...I love the sex..._' Anko stirred noiselessly.

"Urp...I don't feel so good..." She said. Aaron helped her get up and took her to the bathroom. She went inside and closed the door. He could hear the sounds of her retching, and then...urinating? After a few minutes, Anko came back out with a smile on her face.

"Guess what?" She asked quietly.

"What?"

"I'm..._pregnant_..." The last word came out as a whisper, but he heard it.

"Well, that's nice and..." That's when reality gave him a good old kick to the balls.

'_Overload! INITIATING COOL DOWN! INITIATING COOL DOWN!_'

His mind said mechanically.

"Pregnant?"

"You don't want kids?" She asked in a hurt voice.

"No-no-no-no-no! I'm gonna love my kids 'till the end of time! It's just...I wish I didn't have to wait nine months for it to happen. There's also the hormones, and I know you love the poon..." Anko smiled.

"Well, we're getting an ultrasound in a few weeks." Aaron was jumping for joy on the inside.

"Why wait?" Aaron's hand glowed a light blue and he placed it over her belly.

"So far, you're a month in..." He smiled warmly.

"We're going to have one child..." He kept his hand there, and Anko placed her hand over his.

"Then I'm glad it's with you..." Suddenly, a person crashed in through their window.

"HOLY SHIT!" Aaron yelled. Anko screamed. The person got up. It was Rich.

"Damn...got to fix that catapult sometime." He said, dusting himself off and brushing glass out of his hair.

"Why the hell did you just crash in through my window?" Aaron asked loudly.

"Well, Naruto and I were testing out this catapult we bought a few days ago. Looks like we got the trajectory wrong...Eheheheh..." Rich sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. Aaron sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You always were an RPG nerd..."

"Hey! There's _nothing_ wrong with virtual females dressed in revealing armor going around and slaying creatures!"

"Whatever..."

"Hey, at least it's not as bad as the time I did _that thing_."

"Oh yeah. That reminds me. I still have yet to get you back for downloading _elf porn_ on my computer. You ruined Bob's innocence!" Anko giggled.

"_Elf_ porn?" Aaron and Rich both said,

"Don't ask."

"Well, since you're here, you want to hear some big news?"

"What?"

"I'm gonna be a father!" Rich's eyes widened.

"Oh my god! WE BE GETTIN' DRUNK TONIGHT!"

"Well, I'm not. I can't." Aaron said with a chuckle. Aaron turned to Anko.

"You can gather all the girls for a party." Anko cheered.

"Now, then, let's go!"

**8 Hours Later, 6:00 PM**

"Woohoo!" Rich shouted. He clapped a hand on Aaron's shoulder. Kakashi, Jiraiya, Itachi, Rich, Aaron, and Hansuke were in a rented bar.

"Where are they?" Aaron asked.

"Who?"

"I invited some others to come here." Zetsu suddenly tunneled out of the ground.

"Hey Zetsu."

"What's **this** par**ty** fo**r?**" The bipolar plant man asked him.

"You'll find out when everyone else arrives." Aaron's ears picked up on something.

"3...2...1..." As he said 0, Kisame, Hidan, and Deidara busted in the door.

"Did some fucker say party?" Hidan asked. They ran in. Pein walked in calmly behind them.

"Do you _always_ have to bust in the door?" He asked.

"Ok, everyone's here, so I have a big announcement..." Aaron said.

"I'm gonna be a father!" Everyone but Rich, Hansuke, and Itachi jaw-dropped.

"Got some, didn't ya!" Kisame shouted after they all recovered. Aaron just grinned.

"You dog!" A knock came at the entrance of the bar.

"Ugh. Doesn't anybody know when to NOT knock on the door of the places I go to?" He asked. He walked over to the door, and opened it. There was a low-ranking ANBU, with a regular face mask that just...looked like a face-mask.

"What?" He asked.

"The council would like to see you, _Lord Uchiha_." Aaron could feel the contempt in the ANBU's voice.

"Fine." The ANBU left, and Aaron could hear them mumbling something along the lines of "_I can't believe I have to give the other __demon__ respect..._" Aaron turned around and sighed.

"I have to go see the thrice-damned civilian council." He told them. Then he teleported away.

**Civilian Council Hall**

"So what is it I'm here for? I was throwing a bachelor's party." Aaron said in a bored voice.

"That's precisely what you're here for." Danzo said.

"WE WON'T HAVE FILTH RUNNING AROUND IN OUR VILLAGE!" A certain pink banshee yelled. Aaron's eye twitched.

"We are going to have surgeons remove her ovary in order to keep more traitors from being spawned." Danzo told him. A black aura suddenly grew around Aaron. He chuckled evilly.

"I don't think so. You guys have tested my patience enough, so here's what's going to happen instead: I'm going trap the mind of everyone in here but Danzo in the Midnight Realm, then I'm going to have a little chat with him. Sound good? Ok!" He focused his mind, and the eyes of everyone but Danzo widened, glazed, and then the empty bodies all slumped.

"Now then, Danzo, I have a little proposal for you. If you don't try—and MISERABLY fail—to cut out Anko's ovary, then I _just might_ let the Hokage _only_ disband Ne, instead of disbanding it and executing you. Does that sound like a deal?" Danzo quickly agreed.

"Good. Oh, and, by the way..." Danzo repeated what the council members did, and slumped.

"Shit...Don't know how I'm gonna explain this..." Aaron shrugged.

"I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."

'_Though, I'd prefer not to speak of this__._' Aaron then teleported back to the bar.

"What did they call you there for?" Rich asked.

"I _really_ don't wanna talk about it."

_Chapter...END!_

So did you like it? The LAST chapter will come out soon, so keep bird-watching this story!

**~Jinso-kun**


	62. Epilogue

HEY! It's Jinso-kun!

I can't believe it's the last chapter already!

Naruto: Dattebayo!

*Clonks him on the head* Stop that. You ruined the effect.

Naruto: *rubs head* Ouch...You remind me of Sakura-chan's super strength.

I work out.

ON WITH THE CHAPTER!

Let's go!

_Chapter...BEGIN!_

* * *

><p><em>Konoha Hospital<em>

"Come on, Anko, you've got to push." Aaron said soothingly.

"I swear to God, you'll never touch me again, you fuck-head shit-bag!" Anko yelled as she strained.

'_Childbirth is so hard..._' In three other rooms, Konan, Akahana, and Aaruka were all saying things similar to Anko because of the pain. Only four of the women Aaron was said to marry accepted, and he was alright with that. Hey, it's like what Naruto told Neji at the Chunin Exams; Fate is something you can always change. With one last push, a new life was created.

"We have a baby boy." Aaron told her. She smiled wearily, holding the dark purple-haired boy.

"What should we name him?"

"Nonoshiri (Swearing), because I've got a feeling that with both of our genes, he's gonna be cussing like a sailor." Anko chuckled.

"How about Kagizdume (Talon)? He might take a liking to Kinkaku." She suggested. Aaron smiled.

"Then that's what we'll name him." He walked out of the room to go visit everyone else. Konan was first. She had produced a baby girl with midnight blue-ish black hair, and was cradling her gently. She looked up at Aaron and smiled.

"What should her name be?" She asked.

"Kinu (Silk)." He replied. Konan smiled again and nodded. Aaron walked to Akahana's room.

"Hello, dear." She said. He looked down upon his hanyou child. The little boy had tiny clay red fox ears on the top of his head, and a single tail behind him of the same color.

"What is his name?" A nurse who came in the room asked. She was one of the kinder people in the village, and treated Naruto kindly.

"Te-ru (Tails)." Aaron said. The little boy that was his reminded him of a certain blue hedgehog's sidekick, who had two tails.

"He's beautiful." The nurse said.

"That he is." Aaron reached out his hand. The little newborn hanyou reached a feeble hand out, and grabbed Aaron's pinky finger.

"Dad reaches out for a move, but the son uses his grip of doom!" Aaron quietly announced. He moved his pinky around in the child's grip making noises. He laughed quietly. Aaron then went to see Aaruka. She was holding another little boy with spiky black hair, taking after his dad.

"Kurotama (Jet)." Aaron said.

**Aaron's House; 4 Hours Later**

A baby shower was held for Aaron and the other four women. Rich, Hansuke, May, Arine, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Itachi, Sasuke, Naruto, Hinata, Minato, Kushina, Kurenai, and Ibiki were all chatting and there was a table filled with presents. Aaron took Kakashi and Jiraiya aside for a private conversation.

"Listen to me very carefully, you two," Aaron began, his Elder Sharingan flashing dangerously.

"I want you to know that if I find out that any of my children have ever taken a few notes out of your lessons, if you know what I mean, there will be no dimension, no alternate plane of existence, and no lifetime in which you will be safe from me. Got it?" The two perverts nearly pissed their pants at the controlled but non-explosive killer intent rolling off of him. They both nodded. Aaron's Sharingan went away, and he smiled.

"Great! Let's continue with the party!" He walked away. Kakashi leaned in near Jiraiya.

"Fathers are scary." He said.

"Especially dimension-hopping, time-traveling, super-powered, sadistic fathers." Jiraiya added back.

"Heard that." Aaron called. They both froze. As the time came, presents were opened, and pictures were taken.

"Kinu, meet Uncle Itachi." Aaron said. Itachi held his niece with a smile.

"Oh my god, he's smiling!" Naruto cried, pointing at him. Aaron and Itachi both scowled. The baby girl took a page from their book, and scowled at Naruto as well. Well, as much of a scowl as a newborn could manage.

"First off, do not invoke my name in vain." Aaron said jokingly.

"And second," Itachi tried to Tsukuyomi Naruto, but he looked away. The baby girl once again copied Itachi, and pretended to Tsukuyomi Naruto. A bunch of people (mainly women and girls) let out an "aww". Aaron looked at his daughter and chuckled.

"I can tell she's going to love doing that." Aaron let Ibiki hold Kagizdume.

"Kagizdume, meet your Uncle Ibiki." He said. Morino Ibiki, for the first time in a while, actually smiled. All of the women were crowded around Te-ru, who was giggling and playing with his tail. They had stars in their eyes. Kurotama was being held by Sasuke, who was also smiling. Life was great.

_Chapter...END!_

And...we're done! *confetti flies everywhere* The sequel will be coming out this week, so be on the lookout for

**The Children of the Four Blades**!

**~Jinso-kun**


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